公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

(前情提要)
好 蓝道 今天是重要的训练日
Okay, Randall, today is gonna be a big day of training.
里面有好几年的笔记
Years of notes in here.
那是什么 - 没什么
What's that? - It's nothing.
但要是有男人拿一朵白栀子花进来 别跟他说话
But if a man comes in with a white gardenia, you don't talk to him.
我才行 好吗 你最好别被牵扯进去 懂吗
Only me, okay? You don't wanna get involved. Got it?
大伙 警方报告刚出炉
Guys, the police report just came in.
「意外死亡」 -「意外死亡」
Accidental death?
你是咕咕鸟 - 咕咕什么
You're the cuckoo chick! - Cuckoo what?
莱斯特把房♥客都比喻为鸟
Lester likened all the tenants to birds.
为什么你拿着的虾子有指甲
Why does the shrimp you're holding have a fingernail?
看来指甲上有某种绿霉菌
It looks like there's some sort of green fungus on the nail.
你们听说过我家跟犯罪活动有关联
You've heard about my family's ties to criminal activity.
那你能解释 你说你失踪的丈夫
Can you explain what you meant when you said
跟我们的大楼息息相关是什么意思吗
that your missing husband has everything to do with our building?
我们拥有「速清」 在亚柯尼亚的干洗店
We own Clean-Ups, the dry cleaner in the Arconia.
会有多少宾客
How many guests are we expecting?
只有艾希亚 提姆 几个从贝波特来的朋友
Just Althea, Tim, and a few friends from Bayport.
尼奇以前到哪里都带着这副牌
Nicky used to carry these decks around everywhere he went.
尼奇其中一张牌的背面有张地图
There's a map on the back of one of Nicky's cards.
有人吗
Hello?
(速清干洗店) (很会洗 )
萧伯纳曾经说过
George Bernard Shaw once said,
「在赌局中 多数人必须输 才能让少数人赢」
"In gambling, the many must lose in order that the few may win."
他也说过一些支持史达林的话 还有点反乳牛
He also said some pro-Stalin things, and he was kind of anti-cow,
这跟节目没啥关系
which isn't relevant here.
梅宝 可以剪掉吗 - 不行
Mabel, can we cut that? - No.
好 很好
Okay, great.
在1910年代初期 汽车的崛起
At the onset of the 1910s, the rise of the automobile
使得亚柯尼亚大楼下方的马厩变得荒凉
rendered the horse stables under the Arconia obsolete.
不久后 纽约最恶名昭彰的黑帮分子
It wasn't long before some of New York's most infamous mobsters
就为这些空间找到更有利可图的新用途
found a new, more lucrative use for the space.
到了1920年代 黑帮在全市都有秘密赌场
By the 1920s, the mob had secret gaming rooms all over the city,
其中聚集最多大佬的 莫过于丝绒厅
and none played host to more power players than the Velvet Room.
超过一世纪以来
For over a century,
市内某些最重大的决定都是在这里做的
some of the most consequential decisions in the city were made here.
谣传他们在这里签订了帝国大厦的合约
Rumor has it, this is where the Empire State Building contract was awarded,
在这里决定酒吧可以营业到凌晨四点
where it was decided that bars could stay open until 4:00 a.m.,
也是在这里
and where, at the last second,
扎卡里泰勒岛在最后一刻改叫罗斯福岛
it was changed from "Zachary Taylor Island," to "Roosevelt Island."
即使时尚风格 装潢和顾客 多年来不断更迭
Even as the fashion, decor, and clientele changed over the years,
但有个不变的要素 那就是黑帮
one constant remained: the mob.
从幸运卢西安诺到约翰戈蒂 每个老大从这个只有少数菁英知道的地点
Everyone from Lucky Luciano to John Gotti wielded power over the five boroughs from this location,
掌管了五个行政区 而且一直持续到今日
known to an elite few. And that continues to this day.
我一直以为丝绒厅只是个传说
I always assumed the Velvet Room was a myth,
但它一直都在这里 我怎么会错过
but it was right here all along. How did I miss it?
平心而论 它在秘密楼梯下面
Well, to be fair, it was down a secret staircase
要用一副神奇的扑克牌才能开门
that only opened with a magic deck of cards.
别太苛责自己了
I wouldn't beat yourself up too much.
这会是我们线上电台很棒的开场转折
You know, this does make for a good opening twist of our podcast.
我该录影吗
Should I be videoing?
很多线上电台都会录影 - 你有听到吗
A lot of podcasts are doing video now. - Do you hear that?
那是... - 天啊
Is that...? - Oh, my God, oh, my God!
奥利佛 是你吗 - 梅宝
Oliver, is that you? - Mabel?
你还好吗 怎么回事
Are you okay? What's going on?
我在干洗店
I'm in the dry cleaners.
我找到尼奇卡齐米利欧了
I found Nicky Caccimelio.
太好了 你能把他留住吗 - 应该不会太难
Oh, great! Can you keep him there? - Shouldn't be too hard.
他死了
He's dead!
他的手指都还在吗 - 他的手指
Does he have all his fingers? - His fingers?
好 保持冷静 到查尔斯的公♥寓♥跟我们会合
Okay, okay, just stay calm, and meet us at Charles's apartment!
奥利佛 无论如何都别碰尸体
And Oliver, whatever you do, don't touch the body!
千万别让你的DNA 遍布在黑帮分子的尸体上
The last thing you want is your DNA all over a dead mobster's body.
走路要看路 - 抱歉
Hey, watch where you're going, pal! - Sorry.
糟了
Oh no!
你在做什么
Oh! Wha-- What are you doing?!
你们要知道 我多付了上浆的钱
I paid extra for starch, I'll have you know!
乌玛 真高兴见到你
Uma, so fun to see you.
这里臭得像有人死掉一样
Smells like somebody died in here.
你真的是大楼里的开心果
You-- you truly are the building cut-up.
你试过开放麦之夜吗 - 你为什么满身大汗
Have-- have you ever tried open mic? - Why are you sweating?
你说什么
Excuse me?
你为什么满身大汗
Why are you sweating?
我没注意到 真好笑
Oh, I wasn't-- I wasn't aware that I'm sweating.
更年期很棘手 即使对男人来说也是
Menopause is tricky, even for us fellas.
我得搬离这栋大楼
I gotta move out of this building.
奥利佛 - 怎么有干洗的衣服
Oliver? - What's with the dry cleaning?
天啊 奥利佛 - 你干了什么好事
Oh, my God, Oliver! - What the hell did you do?!
《破案三人行》
第五季第三集

(第五季 第三集) (僵直)
天啊 奥利佛
Oh, my God, Oliver!
「别碰尸体」这句话 你是哪里没听懂
What part of "don't touch a dead body" did you not understand?
我在他身上打了喷嚏 我对栀子花和干洗店过敏
Well, I sneezed on him. I'm allergic to gardenias and Martinizing.
我知道这看起来...
Look, I-I-I get that this looks--
像是你犯了重罪 - 像是你疯了
Like you've lost your mind. - Like you've committed a felony.
我本来要说「有点古怪」 但没错 那些也行
I was gonna go "A bit kooky," but yes, those also work.
奥利佛 你做了什么 - 其实很简单
Oliver, what did you do? - It's really quite simple.
打喷嚏后 我得清掉他身上的飞沫 然后我就眼前一黑
After sneezing, I had to clean my essence off him,
接下来我只知道 我在86街上推着一具尸体
and then I blacked out, and the next thing I know, I am pushing a corpse down 86th Street.
没人注意到你用洗衣车
And no one noticed you with a dead body,
推着一具尸体
pushing it in a laundry cart?
拜托 这里是曼哈顿
Oh, please, this is Manhattan,
那甚至挤不进这个街区的前三大怪事
it didn't even crack the top three weirdest things happening on the block.
你干嘛带他来我的公♥寓♥
But why'd you bring him to my apartment?
我显然不希望我的公♥寓♥里有尸体
Well, I-- Obviously, I didn't want a dead body in my apartment.
你只想到你自己 你就是这样
You only think of yourself. This is so typical you.
我从来没带尸体去你家过
I have never brought a dead body to your home.
这是什么
What is this?!
你暗示我做过这种事 但我没有
Well, you've implied I've done it before, which I haven't!
操你的
Go fuck yourself!
相信我 我试过 行不通
Believe me, I've tried that, it didn't work.
你试过
You tried it?
大伙 - 什么事
Guys! - You've tried-- What?
我们可以专心处理 面前这个过期的人类吗
Can we focus on what to do with this expired human in front of us?
对 - 他死透了
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He is so dead.
就是这样 我们都会变成这副德行
I mean, this is it. This is what we're all gonna look like.
不 我不会
No, no. No, no, not me.
我有《决战猩球》化妆师签过名的餐巾纸
I have a signed napkin from the guy who did makeup on Planet of the Apes,
里克跟我说 不管有多残破
and Rick told me no matter how mangled it is,
他都会让我的尸体看起来顶多35岁
he's gonna make my corpse look like, tops, 35.
我觉得昏昏沉沉的 我头好晕
I feel faint. I'm woozy.
我看起来很晕吗 我觉得好晕
Do I look woozy? I feel woozy.
好 冷静点 头晕佬
Okay, calm down, woozy.
干洗店七点才开门 把尼奇放在那里的人
The dry cleaners doesn't open until 7:00.
预期明天开店时 尸体会被发现
Whoever put Nicky there is expecting for the body to be found tomorrow when they open.
所以我们必须在他们发现之前 清掉奥利佛的DNA
So, we need to get Oliver's DNA off and put the body back
并且把尸体放回去
before they realize we took it.
好吗 - 好计画
Okay? - Good plan.
对 - 我讨厌这样
Yes. - I hate this.
有人知道怎么清除尸体上的DNA吗
Now... does anybody know how to clean DNA off a dead body?
好 应该清干净了
Okay, I think I'm off him.
幸好我从鸡翅店拿了这些湿纸巾
I'm glad I got these wet-naps from the wings place.
你吃鸡翅
You eat wings?
不 当然不吃 但其他地方没有湿纸巾
No, of course not. But you can't get the wet-naps anywhere else.
至少现在我们知道他的手指都还在
Well, at least now we know he has all of his fingers.
等等
Wait.
他的指甲下面有绿色的东西 跟我们的虾手指一样
There's something green under his nails, just like our shrimp finger.
那是F1等级的拉克伦毛毡
That's F1 Grade Lachlan felt,
原料是现在已经绝种的 苏格兰邓菲斯羊的羊毛
made from the wool of the now-extinct Scottish Dunface sheep.
跟楼下丝绒厅用的毛毡一样
That's the same felt they have in the Velvet Room downstairs.
你在说什么... - 我以前会在扑克牌之夜发牌
What are you talking-- - Well, I used to deal cards on poker night,