公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）
Only Murders in the Building S05E02
Part 3
Sept. 15, 2025, 7:51 p.m.
我有《国家宝藏》的试镜 第三次复选
I'm auditioning for National Treasure. Third callback.
不是我 就是尼可拉斯凯吉 但他不会上的 他不适合
It's between me and Nic Cage, but he's not gonna get it. Not right.
因为你是国家宝藏
Because you're a national treasure.
谢谢
Hey.
他来了
There he is, there he is.
莱斯特来说笑
Lester the jester.
我喜欢绰号♥
Hey, I like nicknames.
我们来想想 好吗 - 谢谢 老大
We'll work on it. Good work. - Thank you, boss.
莫里斯太太 - 谢谢你 莱斯特
Mrs. Morris. - Oh. Thank you, Lester.
我儿子是G
My son is a G.
你知道LGBT吗 他是那个G
Do you know about LGBT? He's the G.
好了 母亲
Okay, Mother.
能拥有你是任何G的福气 哈尔德
And any other G would be lucky to have you, Howard.
只要找到一个就好
You just need to find one.
还要有孙子
And have grandkids.
对 - 谢谢你 莱斯特
Yeah. - Thank you, Lester.
你可以带他去参加骄傲游♥行♥
He could bring 'em to that Proud Parade.
你们来找尼奇吗 这边请
Here to see Nicky? Right this way.
莱斯特
Lester! Lester! Lester!
外面有个变♥态♥在骚扰美女
There's a creep outside preying on beautiful women.
我们不得不逃命
We had to run for our lives.
你竟然还留着那玩意
I can't believe you still got that thing.
莱斯特和他的手摇柄
Oh, Lester and his crank.
亚柯尼亚历史的一部分 只要我在这里 它就在
Piece of Arconia history. As long as I'm here, it'll be, too. Just like this.
你们今晚最好别玩得太疯 我可不想被逼着上楼
You kids better not get too crazy tonight. I don't wanna have to come up there.
酒是料理用的
The wine is for cooking.
当然 美味的盒装酒酱汁
Sure, a nice boxed wine reduction.
这场正式晚宴会有多少宾客
How many guests are we expecting at this, uh, formal dinner party?
只有艾希亚 提姆 几个从贝波特来的朋友
Just Althea, Tim, and a few friends from Bayport.
如果想让莱斯特安心 也许别说「贝波特」比较好
Maybe don't say "Bayport" if you want to put Lester at ease.
别仇视贝波特 富家子弟
Hey, no hating on B-Port, rich boy.
莱斯特 如果还有人带烹饪用具来 他们是跟我们一起的
Lester, if a few other people come with "cooking supplies"... um, they're with us.
如果人很多 抱歉啦
Sorry if it's a lot of people.
别担心
Don't worry.
我记得你没有朋友的时候 看看现在的你
I remember when you didn't have any friends. And look at you now.
看看现在的我 - 看看现在的你 梅宝
Look at me now. - Look at you now, Mabel.
(裁缝改造)
今天是我的结婚纪念日
It's my anniversary.
不会吧 恭喜 我爱爱情
No shit. Congrats. I love love.
我也是
Me, too.
是这样的 我答应我老婆 今晚可以出去吃晚餐
Thing is, I-- I promised my wife we could go out to dinner tonight.
女人都爱晚餐
Ladies love a dinner.
对哦 但今天是周六
Ah, right, but it's Saturday.
没错 所以我想也许我今晚能请假
Exactly, uh, so I-I thought maybe I could take the night off.
不行 莱斯特 我需要你在场
No, no, no. No can do, Lester. I need you there.
但你知道女人也爱什么吗 周日早午餐
But you know what ladies also love? Sunday brunch. Huh?
也许我该收手了
You know, maybe it's time I finish up.
我的孩子都上大学了 我一直在存钱
My kids are in college now. I've been saving.
我已经不需要赚外快了
I really don't need extra money anymore.
这样行不通 莱斯特
That's not really how it works, Lester.
你不能说走就走
You go when it's convenient for you.
提醒我一下 是谁供你的孩子上大学
Remind me who put your kids through college?
你能有今天都是因为我
I'm the reason you have anything.
所以你要待在那张桌子后面 直到我说没你的事为止
So, you are gonna stay behind that desk until I say you're done.
周年纪念日快乐
Happy anniversary.
当然 - 好
Sure. - Okay.
前台
Front desk.
帕南先生 - 莱斯特
Mr. Putnam? - Lester,
你能帮我放洗澡水吗
can you run me a bath?
再看看罗贝塔有没有拿走烤面包机 我们会需要的
And then check to see if Roberta took the toaster. We're gonna need that.
不 那是我唯一不能帮忙的事
Oh, no, that's the one thing I'm not allowed to help with.
那样很不恰当
Uh, it's really frowned on.
如果我现在死了 你觉得我会被纳入东尼奖的缅怀桥段吗
If I died right now, do you think I'd make it onto the Tony "In Memoriam"?
回答谨慎点 我现在...很脆弱
Answer carefully, I'm... I'm very fragile.
对 她把花瓶都拿走了
Yes, she-- she took all the vases.
天啊 莱斯特
Oh, God, Lester.
我会孤独终老
I'm gonna die alone.
在我千辛万苦保住的公♥寓♥里 一个花瓶都没有
In this apartment I fought so hard to keep. Vase-less.
别这样 你还有很多时间可以扭转局势
Come on. You got plenty of time to turn things around.
你听说哈里逊福特的事了吗
You hear about Harrison Ford?
什么 又坠机了吗
What? Another plane crash?
看吧 那样才能登上缅怀桥段
See, that's how you get on the "In Memoriam."
这我就不知道了
I don't know about that.
我只知道他花了些时间才出线
I just know it took him a while to figure it out.
你大器晚成 帕南先生 跟我一样
You're a late bloomer, Mr. Putnam. Just like me.
我们还有孩子和大好人生呢
A couple of kids with our whole life ahead of us.
如果你把这些留在桌上 它们会枯萎的
You know... if you leave these on the table, they're just gonna wither away.
但如果你照顾它们 把它们放在水里
But if you care for 'em... put 'em in water...
给它们一些阳光 它们马上就会恢复
give 'em some sun, they'll bounce right back.
你很有智慧 莱斯特
You're very wise, Lester.
我很高兴你在这里
You know, I'm glad you're here.
别担心
Don't worry.
我今天才知道 我哪里都不会去
I just found out today I'm not going anywhere.
对 我现在就出发 十分钟后在那里见 好吗
你先请 你先请
After you.
好
After you.
你先请
After you.
身旁有这么多人对你视而不见 是不是很棒
Isn't it nice to have all these people walk past you without noticing?
对 欢迎来到更年期后女性的生活
Yeah, welcome to life as a postmenopausal woman.
祝你们顺心 女孩们
Have a good day, girls.
(纽约市消防局) (急救员)
没事了
It's okay.
你会没事的
You're gonna be okay.
谢谢你 莱斯特
Thanks, Lester.
好吧 莱斯特
Alright, Lester.
又是重大的夜晚 对吧
Another big night, huh?
听着 今晚的比较大包 好吗
Now, listen, it's a little heavier tonight, okay?
帮太太买♥♥些亮晶晶的东西 - 好
Buy something shiny for the missus. - Yeah.
好吗 - 好 当然
Alright? - Yeah, yeah, sure.
老婆就是那样 像乌鸦一样 为那玩意疯狂
You know wives, they're like ravens. They go crazy for that stuff. Huh?
是啊 好主意 - 再见
Yeah. Yeah, thanks. - Alright.
把地址给我 我会寄支票给你
You, give me your address and I'll send you a check for it! Geez.
你还好吗 萨维奇先生
Hey! Hey! You okay, Mr. Savage?
没事 - 你钱不够 你得付钱
Yeah. - You're short! You need to pay!
我们从大西洋城开过来 他说我欠他150块
We came in from Atlantic City. He says I owe him a hundred and a half.
是四百块 - 四百块
It's 400! - Four hundred?!
我们干嘛了 走布鲁克林大桥吗
What'd we do? Go by way of the Brooklyn Bridge?
谢了 莱斯特
Thanks, Lester.
我今晚过得很糟 没办法
Ah! I had a bad night. It happens.
我不会评断你 萨维奇先生 你很快就会振作的 你是布拉奏斯
No judgment, Mr. Savage. Uh, you'll bounce back soon. You're Brazzos.
不 莱斯特 我以前是布拉奏斯
No, Lester, I used to be Brazzos.
以前每周四晚上 有八百万到一千万人会看我演的戏
Eight to 10 million people used to tune in every Thursday night to watch me.
以前麦当劳快乐儿童餐有我的仿真公仔
I had an anatomically correct McDonald's Happy Meal action figure.
我以前同时交两个女朋友
I had two girlfriends at the same time.
当时还没有那种风潮呢
And that was before it was cool.
我参加的那些试镜
And those auditions I go on?
那不是试镜 莱斯特 只是客套而已
They're not auditions, Lester. They're-- they're courtesy calls.
来 这是金块饭店的扑克牌
Here, here. Here's a deck of cards from the Nugget.
你留着吧 我不想要
You keep 'em. I don't want 'em.
你只需要一件好事 就能东山再起
You know, you just need one thing to go right, and, uh, you'll bounce back.
你知道哈里逊福特吗
Hey, you know Harrison Ford?
别跟我提哈里逊福特 他在《宠物当家2》打败了我
Oh, don't mention Harrison Ford to me. He beat me out for Secret Life of Pets 2.
他是大器晚成型的 也许你也是
Well, he was a late bloomer. Maybe you are, too.
很晚了 莱斯特
It's getting pretty late, Lester.
大家注意安全 注意安全
Let's keep safe, everybody! Let's keep safe!
快走 不知道是不是失火...
Let's go, let's go! We don't know if it's a fire--
有必要这样吗 莱斯特
Is this really necessary, Lester?
要四个人才能把温尼抬下十层楼
It took four people to get Winnie down ten flights of stairs.
我不知道该说什么 帕南先生 我们正在想办法
Not sure what to tell you, Mr. Putnam. We're figuring it out.
多数人都去利布瑞兹餐厅了 如果你想加入的话
Most folks are headed to Librizzi's, if you wanna join.
那里常常客满 但好吧
Oh, it's hard to get a table there, but okay.
好 来吧 请继续移♥动♥
公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）
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