佛州中部上帝养成史

On Becoming a God in Central Florida S01E05

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2019, 8:30 p.m.

Ski boat.
太赞了
How darling.
你的耳环也很赞啊
And your earrings are darling, too.
请慢用
Enjoy.
我是在博卡的一家精美的古董店买♥♥的
I got them at this divine little boutique in Boca...
我们喜欢博卡
We love Boca.
卫生纸一定是很畅销
Toilet paper must be selling really well to, uh...
你都能买♥♥新船了
get yourself a new boat, huh?
我才不吃这些垃圾
I'm not eating any of this crap.
你卖♥♥的卫生纸是单层的吗
Are you selling the one-ply?
单层的
One-ply.
-我们也是 -对吧
- So do we. - Right?
我个人很高兴美创商不生产双层的
Personally, I'm glad FAM doesn't make two-ply.
我觉得单层就足够了谢谢
I think one-ply is just fine, thank you,
除非你有什么毛病...
I mean, unless there's something wrong with your...
我出去透透气
I need some air.
接着说如果我想要双层的
As I was saying, I-if I want two-ply,
知道我会怎么做吗把单层的折起来
you know what I do? I just fold my one-ply. Ha!
-真会算 -机智
- That's math. - Smart, that's it.
我认识你
I know you.
你在这儿干什么
What are you doing here?
我只是想尽我所能帮助你
Just trying my best to help out.
我记得你告诉我奥比·加博是杀手
I thought you told me Obie Garbeau was a killer.
没错
Yeah.
商人中的高手
A killer businessman.
不对
No.
你恨奥比
You hate Obie.
你说得很清楚
You made that pretty clear.
请你
Please just...
别跟我说话
don't talk to me.
现在不行
Not now,
以后也不行
not ever again.
天呐
Jesus.
该死
Shit.
戈麦斯家
Gomes residence.
莎白抱歉这么晚打来
Bets. Sorry to call so late.
妮妮怎么样
How's Neenee?
她很好吃得好
She's good. She ate like a champion,
拉得好
then she pooped like a champion.
睡得好
Now she's fast asleep.
我的宝贝真棒
That's my girl.
我之前给你们打过电♥话♥
I tried y'all earlier.
我们去乐园了
We went to the park.
哈罗德想带黛丝蒂妮看小鸭子
Harold wanted to show Destinee the ducklings.
莎白我知道这听起来很疯狂
Bets, I know I'm crazy,
不过能让我听听她的呼吸吗
but can I hear her breathe?
亲爱的这一点都不疯狂
Honey, that isn't crazy at all.
等一下好吗
Hold on just a sec, okay?
好了她来了
Okay, here she is.
莎白
Bets?
我在
I'm here.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你要争气啊
Make us proud.
你去哪了
Where did you go?
你把我一个人留在
You left me alone
-夫妇宴席上克丽丝朵 -不是科迪
- at a couples' banquet, Krystal. - No, Cody...
-就是 -不是发生了怪事
- Yes! - No, the weirdest thing hap...
科迪拜托
Cody, please.
我不得不跟奈吉尔尬聊克丽丝朵
I got stuck talking to Nigel, Krystal.
如果你根本不参与
I mean, how... how are we supposed to win
我们怎么获胜
if you're not even playing?
获什么胜参什么与
What's "Winning"? What's "Playing"?
我是来跟奥比谈话的
I-I'm here to talk to Obie,
不是来听你鬼扯的
not take this crap from you.
你以为我想跟你鬼扯吗
You think I want to give you crud?
我不想跟你鬼扯
I don't want to give you crud.
我只是你知道我想要什么吗
I just, I just... You know what I want?
我只是想让你开心
I just, I just want to make you happy.
我该如何才能让你开心克丽丝朵
What do I have to do, Krystal, to make you happy?
告诉我求你了
Tell me, please.
你可以停止表现得像个混♥蛋♥
Well, you can start by taking your head out of your ass
然后去马桶里冷静冷静
and shoving it in the toilet where it belongs.
好的女士
Yes, ma'am.
-如你所愿 -科迪
- Anything you want. - Cody?
科迪
Cody!
还要做什么
Anything else?
冲水
Flush it.
-我会死吗 -天啊我希望会
- Will I die? - Oh, God, I hope so.
然后呢
What now?
把裤子脱掉
Take your pants off.
你不会还是处♥男♥吧
You're not a virgin, are you?
不是
No.
我床上功夫很棒
I'm-I'm very good at sex.
我要你狠狠操♥我♥
I want you to fuck me so good
让我忘记自己在哪在做什么
that I forget where I am and what I'm doing here.
不许亲我马桶男孩
Don't you dare kiss me, toilet boy.
醒醒
Wake up.
赶紧去宴会厅
Get to the ballroom now.
该死
Shit.
要命
Crap.
大家好我的托德·博格
Hi, I'm Todd Burger,
这是我妻子崔娜
this is my wife Trina.
我以前只是一个体育用品店的店员
In my old life, I was just a clerk in a sporting goods store.
我讨厌我的工作我讨厌我的老板
I hated my J-O-B, and I hated my boss,
他就是个大傻♥逼♥
who was a royal S-O-B.
有一天在我哥哥的儿子的葬礼上
One day, at my brother's son's funeral,
他的一个朋友开始介绍加博体系
a friend of his started explaining the Garbeau System,
那就像
and it was like a...
就像宗教启示一样
like a religious revelation.
我曾对咖♥啡♥因♥上瘾
I was addicted to caffeine.
我曾对大♥麻♥上瘾
I was addicted to marijuana,
我每周要吸两三次
I smoked it two or three times a week.
曾经我的早餐是药片午餐是野火鸡
I ate pills for breakfast and Wild Turkey for lunch.
是威士忌品牌不是火鸡肉
The whiskey, not the lunch meat.
我吃过猫粮狗粮和鸟食
I ate cat food, dog food, bird food,
也有些人吃的但是不多
some human food, but not a lot.
最低落的时候我曾把枪塞进嘴里
At my lowest, I put a gun in my mouth.
但是朋友们我现在很自豪地说
But, friends, I'm proud to say that now
我的嘴里说出奥比的话语
I put Obie's words in my mouth,
然后我的下线百依百顺
and my downline does whatever I say!
太棒了
Yes.
想起当初的自己有多低落我就会发笑
I have to laugh when I think about how low I was.
但最近我做了一件事来确保
But recently I did something to make sure
我再也不会那么低落了
I never get that low again.
我买♥♥了一架滑翔机
I bought a hang glider.
好耶
Yowzah!
现在我有一间蒸汽室和一间桑拿室
Now I have a steam room and a sauna.
想出汗的时候我常常不知道该选哪间
Sometimes I want to sweat, and I can't even decide how.
好了亲爱的
All right, honey.
你准备好了吗
Are you ready to bring it?
-嗯 -来吧
- Yeah. - Come on.
-大家好 -大家好
- Hello. - Hi.
大家好
Hi. Hello, everybody.
-我是卡罗尔 -我是卡萝尔
- I'm Carroll. - And I'm Carol.
我一直对笑容很着迷所以
And I have always been obsessed with smiles, so,
二十几岁的时候我开了自己的牙科诊所
in my 20s, I started my own dental practice
然后遇到了这位美丽的女士
and met this pretty little lady...
她带着洁白如玉的珍珠贝齿走进来
when she walked in with those pearly whites.
或者说现在变成珍珠贝齿了
Or at-at least now they're pearly whites.
对对我把她收拾好了
Yeah. Yeah, no, I-I, I-I fixed her up.
我们陷入了爱河