壕滑人生（2017）

Loaded S01E07

Part 4 June 28, 2021, 12:40 p.m.

对任何一种丛林猫科动物来说
I mean, for any kind of jungle cat,
碰上他们就跟中了彩票似的
it's basically the equivalent to a lottery win.
你什么时候要 - 今天下午
When do you need it by? - This afternoon.
今天吗
Today?
你今天就想要吗我今儿没法搞到一只老虎
You want it for today? I can't just get a tiger today.
这又不是亚马逊会员服务(当天到货)
It's not like Amazon Prime.
没事儿我有一架直升机我们可以用直升机把它运过来
That's cool, I got a chopper. We'll just chopper it in.
不行绝对不行
No, absolutely not.
你把老虎关在直升机里
You put a tiger in a helicopter and lock the doors,
它会吃掉飞行员的
well, it's going to eat the pilot.
那把老虎放进马箱里
What if you put a tiger in, like, a horse box
然后用直升机吊着行吗
and, say, just winch it?
我们不能吊着一只活老虎横跨伦敦
We're not winching a live tiger across London.
让我先打个电♥话♥ 行吗看看我能做些什么
Let me make a call. All right? See what I can do.
喂我要只老虎
Yeah, I need the tiger.
Josh和Ewan都入伙了把宣传材料过来
Josh and Ewan are on board. Bring out the promo materials.
不好意思我想我走错地方了
Sorry, um, I think I'm in the wrong place.
我在找由英特尔赞助的技术展示舞台
I'm looking for the Tech Stage, sponsored by Intel.
好吧我知道怎么回事了
OK. I can see what's happening here.
好吧既然你们都在这儿了
Right, well, you're here now, so...
你们好就你当然还有你
Hello, you and indeed you.
这些
Are these...?
这些都是我们的吗这些广♥告♥纸板
Are these all for us? These cut-outs?
当然啊当然是我们的我刚发给他们
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just sent out for them.
哇哦速度真快好厉害呀
Wow, that was quick. That's impressive.
行了我帮你弄到一只
OK, I've got you one.
大兄弟我就知道你能搞定的
Oh, mate! I knew you'd come through.
它从凯特灵出发正往这儿赶我俩以前合作过
He's on his way from Kettering. I've worked with him before.
我只要几个小时让人把它送过来
I just need a couple of hours to get him here,
把笼子准备好
get the cage ready.
什么笼子
What cage?
我为发布会雇了只老虎
I've hired a tiger for the announcement.
什么老虎 - 什么老虎
What tiger? - What tiger?
Brutus - 来自凯特灵的Brutus
Brutus. - Brutus from Kettering.
你居然雇了只老虎 - 有点娱乐精神啊 Josh
You've hired a tiger? - Yeah, a bit of showbiz, Josh!
你想放只活老虎在舞台上
You want to put a live tiger on stage?
搞什么啊乌代·侯赛因的TED演讲吗
What is this, Uday Hussein's TED Talk?
我们要闹出点动静来 Josh
We need to make some noise, Josh.
难道我要穿着高领衫和一只活老虎一起上台吗
I'm going to be on stage, in a roll neck, with a live tiger?
我又不是大卫·科波菲尔
I'm David Copperfield. No!
这事儿不成 - 哦你们在这儿啊
We're not doing that. - Oh, there you are.
只想祝你俩好运
Just wanted to wish you both luck.
显然这儿有只危险的动物在乱跑
Apparently, there's a dangerous animal on the loose,
准备撕裂你的喉咙还有 Leon租了只老虎
ready to tear your throats out. Also, Leon's rented a tiger.
开个玩笑啦
Made a joke.
我就是那个危险动物 - 我明白
The initial dangerous animal was me. - Right, yeah, I get it.
我否决了老虎的提议
And I've vetoed the tiger.
他是对的你不需要老虎
He's right, you don't need tigers.
这是你生存信条
This is what you live for.
好的忘掉老虎我知道了
Yeah, forget the tiger, I got this.
游戏开始了别让我失望
Game on. Don't let me down.
她跟你说的你倒是听进去了
I see you listen when she tells you.
哇哦看来是时候了
Woo-hoo-hoo! Guess this is it!
是啊是时候了
Yeah, guess so.
大家都在玩我泄露的游戏他们喜欢这个游戏
People are playing the game I leaked, and they like it.
特别是这个荷兰人
Especially this guy from Holland,
他们都是很有眼力的玩家
and they are famously discerning gamers.
我传播了真正的快乐啊
I spread some actual joy.
我♥操♥ 他们要发布续作
Shit a brick! They are announcing the sequel.
什么续作 - 他们要继续举♥行♥发布会
What sequel? - They're going ahead with the announcement,
而且要发布猫工厂2
and they're doing Cat Factory 2.
他们什么毛病啊
What is wrong with them?!
钱瘾怎么这么大他们还不明白吗
I mean, this addiction to money, don't they get it?
挣得越多对他们来说事态就越糟糕
The more they make, the worse it is going to be for them.
我觉得我们要干预一下
I think we're going to need to stage an intervention.
这不仅仅是水不是远远不止
It's not just water. No, far from it.
它还能渲染出超逼真的血液飞溅效果
It also renders incredibly lifelike blood spatter.
所以
So...
你能从任何角度击爆这个男人的头
You can shoot this man in the head from any angle.
他好像手悠游戏的Leon Harper
He looks like Leon Harper from Idle Hands.
真的呢以前都没注意到
Oh, yeah! Never noticed that before.
不管怎么说你能击爆他的头
So, anyway, you just shoot him in the head...
看他背后的墙
... and look at the wall behind him.
只是血液飞溅效果啊
I mean, it is just blood spatting.
<使命召唤>里也有
You get that in The Call Of Duty.
看好了 Martin 这个效果
Hold your spec there, Martin, that is being rendered
是由30万个独特变量实时表现出来的
in real-time dependant on over 300,000 unique variables.
子弹的口径大小
The calibre of the bullet,
瞄准对象的表面是曲是平
whether the surface is curved or flat.
这个游戏的渲染效果
This is actually more advanced
比法医鉴定机构用的软件还要先进
than the software used by the Forensic Services agency,
不过关键是
but the point is,
你能爆Leon的头
you can just shoot Leon in the head
一次又一次
again and again and again
一次又一次
and again and again and again
一次又一次
and again and again
又一次
and again...
而且每次都不一样你绝对不会感到累的
And it is different every time. It literally never gets tired.
那么谁想试一下
So, who wants a go?
每个人都想爆Leon的头啊
Everyone wants to shoot Leon in the head.
你们当然想爆
Of course you do!
谁不想呢哦射中嘴一次
Who wouldn't? Oh, one in the mouth!
太牛逼了你怎么能不出名呢
This is genius. How are you not famous or something?
问得好你应该去问我同事
Great question, you should probably ask my colleagues that.
哦不行你不能去问因为他们现在在真正的舞台
Oh, no, you can't because they're on an actual stage
发布真正的游戏 - 哦是现在吗
announcing an actual game. - Oh, is that now, is it?
好吧
Ok.
现在你们也要去看太好了
And you're going too now, that's just perfect.
哼休想因为狐狸大爷我要出洞了
Well, bollocks, because this fox is coming out of his hole.
大家好啊
How's everyone doing?
感谢大家的到来 - 没错
Thank you all for coming. - Right.
我们有些振奋人心的消息想告诉大家
We've got some really exciting news for you all.
非常荣幸为你们带来
It is my great pleasure to present to you...
猫工厂2
Cat Factory 2.
猫工厂2
Cat Factory 2.
是的没错这是猫工厂1的加时版
Yes! That is right, it is overtime in the factory.
我们带来了更多的关卡更多的人物
We're talking more levels, more characters,
更多的老鼠还有全新的武器
more mice and a brand-new weapon.
就是蒸汽锤
The steam hammer!
用蒸汽锤击打老鼠
Pummelling mice with a steam hammer?
谁想要这样的武器
Who wants a piece of that?
我来告诉你们是谁是每个人
I'll tell you who. Everyone!
请看
Behold,
猫工厂2 - 2
Cat Factory 2... - 2.
加时版 - 加时版
... Overtime! - Overtime.
猫工厂2 加时版
Cat Factory 2: Overtime?
对啊刚在后台编的
Yeah, just made it up backstage.
你知道我对加感叹号♥的标题是什么感觉
You know how I feel about titles with exclamation marks.
好吧之后拿掉 Ewan 你♥他♥妈♥在干嘛
All right, we'll lose it. Ewan, what the fuck are you doing?
我要拿回属于我的东西舞台上的位置
I'm taking what is rightfully mine, a place on this stage.
那是个全新的人物我还没签字同意
That's a whole new character. I didn't sign off on that.
Ewan 请你离开舞台好吗这样很尴尬啊
Ewan, can you leave the stage, please? It's going to look weird.
不我才不要被当成阴毛随手抹去
No. I refuse to be airbrushed from history like some stray pube.
不该这样的那是预渲染视频
This hasn't been going on here. That is pre-rendered video.
不可能凭空做出来的这可是两周的活
This doesn't just happen. That's two weeks' work.
我们别在这儿争论行吗
Can we not do this here, please?
不行我要去看看到底怎么回事
No. OK, I'm going to find out what is going on here.
Josh 你要去哪
Josh, where are you going?
哥们儿你知道这视频是从哪弄来的吗有人知道吗
Guys, guys, do you know where this is running from? Anyone?
怎么可能
How is this possible?