壕滑人生（2017）

Loaded S01E06

Part 2 June 28, 2021, 12:40 p.m.

没事儿我之后不会吃东西了
It's fine, I'm not eating later.
好我想着等下我们可以一起去看电影
Right. I was thinking maybe we could go to the cinema, then,
我今天下午放假
because I've got the afternoon off.
唔我得去一个什么资金速配的地儿
Um, I got to go to this speed funding thing.
其实跟约会速配差不多只不过是和投资人约
It's speed dating, but for investors.
向他们兜售点子试试筹到钱
Pitch them the idea, try to raise the money.
Abi 我知道什么是资金速配好吗
Abi, I know speed funding, OK?
那事可反♥人♥类♥而且烦人
And it's dehumanizing and tawdry.
从根本上来说
It's essentially
这就是一个人口贩卖♥♥集团的雏形好吗
the start-up version of a human trafficking ring, OK?
所就让我帮你省掉那些麻烦用我的钱吧
So let me spare you the indignity, and just take my money.
Josh 说了几遍了我不需要你的钱
Josh, how many times? I don't want your money.
这不是人情投资好吗
It wouldn't be a pity investment, all right?
我相信下蹲处理器
I believe in Squat Bot.
是吗哪部分你相信
Mm-hm. Which part of it do you believe in?
构思那里你知道吗
The idea bit. You know?
正确的下蹲步骤下蹲也需要程序
Rightmove for squatters. Squatters need apps, too.
他们不是怪物 - Josh 我不要你的钱
They're not monsters. - Josh, I'm not taking your money.
我看起来怎么样
Do I look all right, though?
我得看起来不错
I need to look good
才能吸引到合适的投资者
if I'm going to attract the right kind of investors.
你看起来相当不错
You look bloody great.
我是看起来蛮好的
I do look pretty good.
好吧我想我吃太多生蚝了
OK, I think I just OD'd on oysters.
感觉像刚喝了一加仑鲸鱼精♥液♥
I feel like I just drank a gallon of whale jizz.
Callum 你找到这儿了
Callum, you found it OK?
还行那家伙直接把我带到这了
It was fine. The guy brought me straight here.
好吧那欢迎到办公室
Great, well, welcome to the office.
Ewan 下次你找了个摩托车手来载我过来的话
Ewan, next time you send a motorcycle courier to pick me up,
你能不能至少能先通知我一声
could you at least tell me about first?
哦我没说吗
Oh, did I not?
我感觉像被一个罗马尼亚小混混绑♥架♥了
I felt like I was being abducted by a Romanian street gang.
我就是太想见你了
I just really wanted to see you,
而我得一直做游戏所以
and I had to keep working on the game, so...
现在如果你不介意到处转转
Now, if you wouldn't mind hanging around for,
转大概两个或者最多三个小时我就能陪你啦
like, two or three hours max, and I'll be right with you.
你认真的吗
Are you being serious?
如果我不说话
Well, if I don't talk,
应该能做的更快一点儿所以
might be able to get it done quicker, so...
你把我绑来穿过大半个伦敦
You abducted me and brought me halfway across London
然后让我看着你
so I could watch you...
做这个 - 或者也许我能
Do that? - Or... I mean, maybe I could print
给你打印一张单词检索
you out a word search.
其他三个人呢
Where are the other three, then?
鸡贼抱怨鬼和流浪汉
The wanker, the whiny guy and the hobo?
哦我猜得出这个
Oh, I know this.
唔 Leon和Josh还有Watto
Um... Leon, Josh, Watto.
他们下午放假了
They've got the afternoon off.
就你一个人工作
You're the only one working?
戴皇冠的脑袋最重嘛(能者多劳)
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
好吧那
OK, so...
你是国王咯
You're the king?
我是联♥合♥国♥王有四个国王
I'm a co-king. There are four kings.
我基本上是第四顺位的王位继承人
I'm basically fourth-in-line for the throne.
我是安德鲁王子
I'm Prince Andrew.
为什么你不在照片里
Why aren't you in that picture?
哦我因为浴巾得皮疹了
Oh, I got shingles from a bath towel
就在拍照前一天
the day before the photo shoot.
我告诉你什么才重 Ewan
I tell you what else is heavy, Ewan.
踩着门垫的鞋子才重
Heavy is the shoe that wipes on the doormat.
好好抱歉不我在听着
Yeah, yeah, sorry. No, I am listening.
你不明白吗
You don't see it?
他们在占你便宜
They're taking advantage of you.
给我两个钟头
Give me two hours,
然后你也能占我便宜了 - Ewan
and you can take advantage of me. - Ewan...
你被剥削了
You're being exploited.
我没被剥削
I'm not being exploited.
我事实上在这儿非常重要
I'm actually very important around here.
这里有什么 - 啊
What's in here? - Ah,
好吧别不要进去那里那是Leon的办公室
OK, no, don't go in there. That's Leon's office.
你的呢 - 好吧我没有办公室
Where's yours? - Yeah, I don't... have one.
你没有办公室
You don't have an office?
那帮你搞一个
Then, let's get you one.
好吧唔哦老天
OK, um, yeah. Oh, God.
对不起不不
Soz, but, no.
你好伙计唔你愿意和我一起钓鱼吗
Hello, mate. Um, would you like to come fishing with me?
不好意思我是Adam Watson 你愿意和我一起钓鱼吗
Sorry. Adam Watson. Would you like to come fishing with me?
我其实不知道怎么弄但我买♥♥了一本书
I don't really know how you do it, but I bought a book on it,
里面有些指导
and it's got some instructions.
抱歉你能别烦我吗
Sorry, can you leave me alone?
我当然可以祝你看橱窗愉快
I surely can. Enjoy looking in that window.
超级大狗狗
Massive, massive dog.
你的主人呢大块头
Where's your owner, big guy?
不怎么会说话是吧没关系
Not a big talker, right? That's OK.
其实我也是
Me neither, really.
好了我懂你
OK, I got you.
这样 Leon
OK, Leon...
你最好找个专办家暴案的律师
you better find a lawyer who specialises in spousal abuse.
因为你要被一个女人虐了
Because you're about to get beaten by a woman.
哦
Oh.
本来能更好的
That could be better.
听着我今天早上接到了个电♥话♥ - 该你打了 Leon
Listen, I got a call this morning. - It's your shot, Leon.
诶呦喂等等等等
Whoa, whoa. Hang on, hang on.
我以为你说你玩过
I thought you said you played?
没错我是那种打街头高尔夫的人
Yeah. I'm a street golf kind of guy.
你知道那种自♥由♥式
You know, freestyle.
好吧先等会儿把你的脚并拢
OK, hang on. Just a minute. Put your feet together.
好了再分开与肩同宽
All right. Shoulder-width apart.
背和地面呈四十五度角
Put you're back at a 45-degree angle.
稍稍屈膝可以吗
Bend your knees a little, OK?
大腿放松听老娘的话
Loosen the hips. Submit to mommy.
来放松
Come on, huh? Relax.
红皮书给我打电♥话♥了我入围了
The Red List called. I'm on it.
第七十一位我入围了 - 不错啊
Number 71, I'm on the list. - Well, well! Huh?
很棒等你进前三十了来见我
That is great. Yeah, just come see me when you break the top 30,
因为那是我过去八年来一直在的位置
cos that's where I've been for the last eight years straight.
我得联♥系♥一下Naomi
I have to get in touch with Naomi.
我有预感今年就是我打进前五的时候
I have a feeling this is the year where I crack the top five.
天啊 71 太逗了
God, 71, that's funny.
我都没意识到名单后面有排那么多位
I didn't even realise the list went that low.
记得帮我跟Richard Bacon打招呼
Be sure to say hi to Richard Bacon for me.
不不你的脚又错了啊
No, no, your feet are wrong again. Ow!
你个傻♥逼♥
You idiot!
宝贝说实话其实基本就不怎么看得出来
Babe, you can barely tell, to be honest with you.
让我看看
Show me.
麻烦递我一个注射器
Pass me a syringe, please.
干嘛用
What for?
因为我要出去找个村子
Because I'm going to go out into the countryside,
到人家田里找一头有疯牛病的牛
go into a field and find a cow with mad cow disease.
把针扎到她疯疯癫癫的菊花里
And I'm going to plunge it right into her crazy cow ass,
再到这里把里面东西
and I'm going to come here
打进你操蛋的眼睛里 Leon
and inject it into your fucking eye, Leon.
疯牛病正中眼睛
Mad cow, right in the eye.
别搞得一脸无辜你妈♥逼♥的
Do not make the oops face, motherfucker!
我们会给你开张止痛药的方子
We'll give you a prescription for some painkillers.
你看这就是为什么你只能排到第71名 Leon
You see, this is why you're only number 71, Leon.
就一个高尔夫球杆弄得跟操蛋的卡♥通♥片似的
A golf club. It's like a fucking cartoon.
疼疼疼
Ow, ow, ow!
哦今晚的派对怎么样了
Oh! What about the party tonight?
什么派对 - 红皮书 Leon
What party? - The Red List, Leon.