壕滑人生（2017）

Loaded S01E01

Part 3 June 28, 2021, 12:39 p.m.

哦哈哈
Oh, ha, ha...
冷冷的黏黏的麻酥酥地在我蛋蛋旁边冒泡
It's cold and it's sticky and it's fizzing around my balls.
可爱的感觉
And it feels lovely.
成功的体验
It feels like success.
敬我们自己 - 敬我们一杯
To us. - To us.
干杯
Cheers.
Adam Watson - 就是我
Adam Watson? - This is he.
你被传唤了
You've been served.
我就知道
I knew it!
我一放下心防迎接喜事
The second I let joy into my heart,
情况立马就会急转直下
it all comes tumbling down.
Josh 这传票是荣誉的勋章啊
Josh, this is a badge of honour.
我们被起诉了我们现在是有人告的大人物了
We're being sued. We're certified, suable.
我们做到了 - 为什么传票上有蛋黄酱啊
We made it. - Why is there mayonnaise on the writ?
因为我把传票掉到蛋黄酱里了
Because I dropped the writ into mayonnaise.
谁是Ross Buttock
Who's Ross Buttock?
Watto 为什么他要起诉我们
Watto? Why is he suing us?
你记得Ross的
You remember Ross.
他就是常来我们公♥寓♥的那个哥们
He was that guy who used to come round our flat.
帽子上架着一堆"美国在线"发的免费CD的那个
He used to wear that hat with all the free AOL CDs on it.
不会是那个德鲁伊吧 - 啥德鲁伊
Not the Druid guy? - What Druid guy?
那会儿你还住你妈那
It was when you were still living at your mum's and
我和Watto还住小丑学校楼上的公♥寓♥的时候
me and Watto had the flat above the clown school.
这人不是真的德鲁伊只是昵称而已
He wasn't an actual Druid, it was just a nickname.
昵称叫啥 - 暴躁的德鲁伊Ross
What was his nickname? - Ross The Grumpy Druid.
这就是告我们的人
That's who's suing us?
你的老朋友暴躁的德鲁伊Ross
Your old friend, Ross The Grumpy Druid?
哦 Ross 这是他的本名
Well, Ross, because that was his name,
暴躁是因为有时他有点暴躁
and Grumpy because sometimes he was a little bit grumpy,
而德鲁伊是因为你懂得
and Druid, because, you know...
他以前卖♥♥致幻蘑菇
He used to sell magic mushrooms.
这上面写着侵犯版权
It says copyright infringement.
这我就搞不懂了
See, that's what I don't understand.
难道他的意思是我在嗨蘑菇的时候想出来的点子
Unless he's saying that he should get royalties for all the ideas
他都要收版税
I had when I was high on his stuff.
版税不是这么收的对吧
I mean, he can't do that, can he?
不然我的家当基本都要归他了
Because then I basically owe him everything.
嗨你们好啊
Hi. Hello, everybody.
我在另一间屋子接通了Casey 她现在是这样子的
I've got Casey in the other room for you. And she's like...
不好意思你是 - 哦天啊
Sorry, who are you? - Oh, God.
抱歉忘介绍了我是Naomi
Sorry. Naomi.
Casey的助理她现在很想见你们
Casey's assistant. And she'd really like to see you.
我们四个吗 - 就Josh和Leon 谢谢
All of us? - Just Josh and Leon, actually, thanks.
当然合情合理
Obviously. Quite right.
谢了 - 进来说话的是谁
Thanks. - Who have I got?
嘿 Casey 是我Leon和Josh 我们来见你了
Hey, Casey, you're on with Leon and Josh.
还有其他人在我的视野外吗
Is there anyone in the room who isn't in my field of vision?
没了 - 把摄像头转一圈我不相信你
No. - Spin me round. I don't believe you.
放下来吧
Put me back down.
好了谈谈被起诉的事吧
Now, talk to me about getting sued.
Casey 一切都在我的掌握之中信我
Casey, I've got everything in hand, trust me.
不好意思Leon 哪只掌哪只掌在掌握
Sorry, which hand, Leon? Which hand is it in?
是那只握着又粗又长的大鸡鸡
Is it in the hand that's gripping the shaft of the giant penis
戳我眼窝的手掌吗
that's being shoved into my eye
还是一遍一遍又一遍地戳的那只掌吗
again and again and again?
哈从现在起我要求你把我设想成这样一个人好吧
Huh? Here's how I want you to think of me from now on, OK?
把我设想成性感的达斯·维达
I want you to think of me as the sexy Darth Vader.
因为就在昨天你们被帝国收♥购♥了
Cos yesterday, you got bought out by The Empire.
而在我之上还有位帝皇
And behind me, there's an emperor.
告诉我关于Adam Watson的事 - Watto 你认识他的啊
Talk to me about Adam Watson. - Watto? You know Watto.
他出席了所有会议
He's been in all the meetings.
我只知道他在会上吃了很多水果
I know Watto eats a lot of fruit in the meetings.
我还知道就是他害我被起诉了 - 哦
I also know he's getting me sued. - Erm...
是这样的
Yeah.
他是他是
He's a... He's a...
Watto是我们团队背后的秘密智囊
Watto is the secret brains behind us.
这小子是个天才
The boy is a genius.
我是说基本是他开♥发♥出了猫工厂这游戏
I mean, he basically invented Cats as a thing.
只是你也知道
I mean, you know, he had his
他有点药物滥用的问题而已 - 那不算什么
problems with substance abuse. - No, OK.
但我们年轻啊我们青春焕发我们朝气蓬勃
But we were young! We were young, we were kids...
我想把这事解决了就今天我会派个律师过去
I want it settled. Today. I'm sending over a lawyer.
Casey 真没必要我是救场小能手我能搞定
Casey, there's no need. I'm a firefighter. I got it.
嘿嘿听到了吗 Leon
Hey, hey. Do you hear this, Leon?
这是性感达斯·维达贴着你的后颈窝发出的呼吸声
That's sexy Darth Vader breathing down your neck,
只不过这声音不意味着性感喘息
only not in a sexy way.
你们在中午12点会见律师团队别迟到
You're meeting their team at 12. Don't be late.
Leon 我们这是要去哪
Leon, where are we going?
这不是去律师办公室的路啊
This isn't the way to the lawyer's office.
老铁给我5分钟先绕道去个地方
Mate, it's a quick detour. Give me five minutes.
很屌♥对吧
It's great, right?
因为我一看到这房♥子我就想对了就得住这儿
Because I saw it and I was like, yes, this is a spot!
61米长的大型会所
200-foot rumpus house.
好住处长而整洁
Nice place. Long and clean.
环绕成半圆形使人愉快的几何形状
Semi-circular. Pleasingly geometric.
嗷嗷嗷嗷声音环绕也不错
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Really good acoustics.
嗷嗷相当不错 - 对 Watto 我喜欢
Oh! Oh! Really good. - Yes, Watto, love that.
怎样那我敲定了哦
So, shall I push the button?
我们拿下这房♥子吧 - 嗯我赞成
We'll take it, right? - Well, I'm in.
我们身陷法律纠纷中情况不啻于榆树得了荷兰榆树病
We've got the legal equivalent of Dutch elm disease,
而我们心大到现在还在外面买♥♥♥房♥♥子
and we're out shopping for houses?
话虽这么说我还是想要个房♥间
I'll take a room, although
我可能会找个时候搬到度假村去住
I'm probably moving to a Centre Parcs at some point.
我以为你买♥♥了艘运河船
I thought you bought a narrow boat?
确实买♥♥了但我一直想在度假村设个永久的基地
I did, but I've always wanted a permanent base at Centre Parcs.
就是那种尘世中的宁静绿洲的感觉
You know, sort of like an oasis of calm,
只不过带个泳池和羽毛球场
only with a pool and badminton.
Watto 你不能住度假村
Watto, you can't live at Centre Parcs.
说是这么说但你只要小心比如说
Well, they say that, but if you're careful about it, say,
每三周换个藏身之所在各个度假村之间不停移♥动♥
move chalets every third week and then start shifting locations,
三个月待在沃本庄园
three months in Woburn,
三个月待在新森林国家公园
three months in the New Forest,
实际上是有可能一年十二个月都住在度假村的
it is actually possible to spend 12 months of the year living in Centre Parcs.
是啊只要你不介意活得像个逃亡的难民一样
Yeah, if you don't mind living like a fugitive refugee.
这还真不介意 - 可你还得交通往返啊
Which I don't. - You're going to commute, are you?
坐你的运河船在度假村之间通勤吗
From Centre Parcs everyday on your narrow boat?
其实是有一条贼他吗能跑船的航道的 Ewan
It is actually a highly fucking commutable waterway, Ewan.
又关你什么事你是交管部的吗
And who are you? The Department for Transport?
Josh
Josh.
一起嘛 Josh
Come on, Josh.
好吧我就坦白说了吧我要找个地方自己住
OK. Cards on the table, I think I'm going to get my own place.
哦好吧 - 真可惜
Oh, right. - That's a shame.
那以后谁负责在欧卡多网上超♥市♥上扫货啊
But who's going to sort out the Ocado?
我咋知道自己扫吧
I don't know. Do it yourself.
虽然自己买♥♥也行
Yep, obviously I can do that,
但我们爱吃的东西的链接
but it's just you've got
都收藏在你的账号♥里的啊
all the favourites set up in your account.
那就算了吧我还想着一起的话会很好玩
It's fine. I just thought it would be nice, you know?
代托纳大赛车 - 是的
Daytona. - Yeah.
就是大赛车这就是我们在保龄球馆玩的那台
Daytona. The same one from the bowling alley.
我把这台给找到了
I tracked it down. It's
上面还有我们跑的每圈的记录
still got our lap times on it and everything,
算了没关系
but it doesn't matter.
我会告诉他们我不买♥♥了 - 好吧
I'll tell them we don't want it. - Right.
我们该出发了
We should get going then, eh?
别紧张享受下这高级的氛围吧
Don't stress. Just enjoy the view.
我还有个约会啊 Leon
I've got places to be, Leon.
我要去和Abbey吃午饭 - 你要去见Abbey
I'm having lunch with Abbey. - You're seeing Abbey?
怎么了嘛
What?
不是只不过你才说你要自己住
No, nothing, it's just first you're getting your own place,