壕滑人生（2017）

Loaded S01E04

Part 5 June 28, 2021, 12:40 p.m.

Josh 你是在告诉我该怎么言行举止吗
Josh, are you telling me how to behave?
哇
Whoa!
哦上帝他真的带她来了
Oh, Jesus. He really brought her.
哟这是Kelly
Yo! This is Kelly.
你看起来太他妈不错了
You look fucking incredible!
哦闻起来就像是草地
Oh, you smell like meadows!
我们要扮时髦吗我是下了班直接来的
Were we supposed to be smart? I came straight from work.
好像还行你是做什么的
Seems fine. So what do you do?
她是个模特她刚在摩纳哥参加了国际汽车大奖赛
She's a model. She's just been in Monaco for the Grand Prix,
为得奖的车手鼓掌
clapping the driver who won.
没明白 - 当车手赢了比赛
I don't understand. - When the driver wins,
他从鼓掌的女人中走向领奖台
he walks to the podium past the clapping women.
那是个工作啊鼓掌人
That's a job? Clapping men?
太丢人了我代你表示震惊
That's a disgrace. I'm appalled on your behalf.
太赞了我想做这个
It's amazing! I want to do it.
我不觉得你能做Kelly的工作
I don't think you can do what Kelly does.
他们只挑36个女的
They only pick about 36 women.
为啥不行我会拍手啊
Why not? I can clap.
你能教我怎么鼓掌吗拍给我看看
Can you teach me how to clap? Show me the clap.
你得付钱我才拍
You have to pay me to clap.
Josh会付的 - 我才不会
Josh will pay. - No, I won't.
所以Josh 我一直在思考
So Josh, I've been thinking.
法令执行我们去做续集
Executive decree. We're pitching the sequel.
不我们不做
No, we're not.
那我们还有什么别的主意吗
What else have we got?
而且做续集有么那么糟吗
And what's so bad about doing a sequel?
因为
Because...
他们又懒又令人愤慨
They're lazy and cynical.
我就是又懒又令人愤慨啊
I'm lazy and cynical.
那我不是啊
Well, I'm not.
看到不这就是为什么不能把核弹交给疯子管
See, this is why you don't give the nuclear codes to a lunatic.
哦少来了 Josh
Oh, piss off, Josh.
对不起行了吗
I'm sorry. All right?
我只觉得大家应该静一静
I just think we should hold our nerve.
好吧反正在帝皇还没到之前这段时间
All right. Well you've got until the emperor gets here
你还能想想有什么更好的主意
to think of something better.
是像这样吗
Is it like this?
大声点儿
Bigger?
反正我会拍手
I can clap any way.
我说什么来着是不是
This is what I was talking about, yeah?
好吧
OK, right...
好的 - 噢对不起
Yeah. - Oh, sorry.
噢让我出去
Ooh! Letting me out.
好人
Nice man.
我晚点和你说再见
I'll speak to you later. Bye.
好吧我有些事情想和你说
OK, there's something I want to say to you
然后现在我要开始说了
and I'm just going to say it.
Watto是我最好的朋友之一
Watto is one of my best friends
我曾经陪他一起同甘共苦所以呢
and I've been there for him through thick and thin. So...
不好意思你在和我说话吗
Sorry, are you speaking to me?
你不是Pam - 这条路不对啊
You're not Pam! - This isn't the right way.
你是谁 - 你不是我叫的优步吗
Who are you? - You're my Uber.
不是我以为你是Pam
No, I thought you were Pam.
那你♥他♥妈♥的是谁
And who the fuck are you?
我是Ewan 你怎么不是Pam呢
I'm Ewan. Why are you not Pam?!
让我出去我要出去
Let me out. I want to get out.
不能在西路高架桥上停啊这是死亡陷阱
Not on the Westway. It's a death trap.
快停车我被绑♥架♥了
Stop the car! I'm being kidnapped!
是的 Adam 车没来
Yeah, Adam, the car didn't show.
我需要你来接我
I need you to come and get me.
没人让我出去他们不让我过去
No-one's letting me out. They won't let me over.
你干什么你现在干什么呢
What are you doing? What are you doing now?
让我看着路啊
Let me keep my eyes on the road!
好吧好吧我停一下
OK, OK. I'm pulling in!
请不要打我了 - 不不
Please just stop hitting me. - No, no!
我太紧张了
I'm feeling very flustered.
哦哦
Oh, oh!
对不起 - 哦
I'm sorry. - Oh!
所有中年妇女对我来说看起来都差不多好吗
All middle-aged women look the same to me.OK?
你绑♥架♥了我
You kidnapped me.
也就绑♥架♥了个40秒
Only for about 40 seconds!
我的意思是这些事情
I mean, there must be
应该有什么宽限期的吧
some kind of grace period for these things?
我们他妈的到底在哪儿 - 在立交桥下面
Where the hell are we? - Under a flyover,
然而没用说实话
which isn't helping, frankly.
好吧我要报♥警♥
OK, I'm calling the police.
不要拜托别报♥警♥
No, please, don't do that.
我完全无害我超弱的我就是棵杂草
I'm perfectly harmless. I'm weak. I'm a weed.
而且不是那些体力很差的男的
And not like one of those men who's physically weak
所以觉得需要在体力上掌控女性
so therefore feels the need to physically dominate women.
你知道我的意思吗 - 上帝我要死了
You know what I mean? - Jesus, I'm going to die.
哦我说的就这个意思我是说我不是那种人
Oh, that's what I'm saying! I'm saying I'm not one of those.
警♥察♥ 拜托 - 国家信托
Police, please. - National Trust.
自♥由♥民♥主♥党党员
Membership of the Lib Dems.
荷柏瑞的积分卡
Holland & Barrett loyalty card.
这不是神经病的钱包
This is not the wallet of a psychopath.
钱我会给你钱任何东西拜托
Or money, I'll give you money, anything. Please.
九千块
Nine grand?
好的对这不错
OK, yeah, this is good,
除了你应该坐在那儿
except you should be sitting there
还有你该坐在那儿
and you should be sitting there.
我们能弄弄这个吗
And can we do something about this?
拿叉子梳一梳 - 不别那么做
Comb it with a fork? - No, don't do that.
看起来像疯子是这张桌子
That looks insane. It's this table.
你为什么让他们坐在这张狗屎桌子上
Why'd you let them seat you at this shitty table?
现在我得找张更好的桌子了
Now I have to find a better table.
Leon 让我们耍耍吧
Leon, let's just busk something.
帮我们争取点时间
Buy us some time.
帝皇是个老头
The emperor's an old man,
他不会想了解游戏的
he's not going to know about games.
能不能堆起来随便什么词汇
Any random collection of words
听起来像花里胡哨的苹果游戏的
sounds like a plausible iPhone game.
近年来都流行留胡子了对吗
It's all about beards these days, isn't it?
胡子 - 是啊
Beards. - Yes.
超级大胡子
Very beardy.
超级超级大胡子
Very, very beardy.
140级以后
After level 140,
太注重运气不注意技术了
there's too much emphasis on luck rather than skill.
猫工厂是吗
Cat Factory, yeah?
你是
Are you...?
老天遇见你太好了
Oh, my God, so good to meet you.
Leon Harper 手悠游戏
Leon Harper, Idle Hands.
我是组里的约翰·列侬
I'm the John Lennon of the group.
这位是组里的保罗 - 你好保罗
This is the Paul. - Hi, Paul.
不不不我的意思是他是
No, no, no, I mean he's...
等我一下下我看到了个熟人
Just give me a second. I've just seen someone I know.
好吧没多余桌子了我们只能凑合着用了
Well, there's no more tables, so we'll just have to make do.
那是什么帝皇在这儿
What's that? The emperor's here?
他去哪儿了
Where'd he go?
我的天你做了什么
Oh, my God. What did you do?
没什么呀只是自我介绍了一下
Nothing. Just introduced ourselves.
他看见一个人然后说他马上回来
He saw someone and said he'd be right back.
他刚就在这儿待了三秒
He was here like three seconds.
好吧好吧把刚才说的每个音节都告诉我
OK, OK, just tell me every syllable that was uttered
我好搞明白你们他妈的都把我坑成什么样
so I can figure out how badly you fucked this up for me.
好吧 Leon把Josh介绍成保罗
Well, leon introduced Josh as Paul.
什么 - 谢谢你 Abi
What? - Thank you, Abi.
小事来的我都搞定了
It was just a thing. I had it all worked out
他会觉得我们将和披头士一样厉害
so he'd think we were going to be as big as the Beatles.
他说他自己是约翰·列侬
He said he was John Lennon.