壕滑人生（2017）

Loaded S01E03

Part 4 June 28, 2021, 12:39 p.m.

他不完全是一个抱抱队长但他爱我们
He's not exactly Captain Cuddles, but he loves us.
你知道他爱 – 我不知道 Leon
You know he does. - I don't know, Leon.
我只是觉得
I... I just feel like,
要是除了这些之外还有别的呢
what if there's more out there than
除了拼西高地狗狗图案的拼图之外
doing jigsaw puzzles of Westie dogs
除了一双护腿之外 - Linda 听我说
and a pair of leggings. - Linda, listen to me.
作为相当于你领养回来的二儿子我见过这种生活方式
As your surrogate second son, I've seen the lifestyle.
并不像你想的那么美好
It's not as good as you think.
没有什么比 Jeff更好了相信我
Nothing is better than Jeff. Trust me.
除了我的直升机以外
Apart from maybe my helicopter.
你弄了个直升机
You've got a helicopter?
太神奇了 – 你还想去哪儿呢
It's amazing. - Where would you rather be?
在这上面还是降到那里
Up here, or down there,
和超可爱超可爱的Jeff蜷在一起看<乡村记录>
curled up in front of Countryfile with lovely, lovely Jeff?
抱歉啊亲爱的我没在听这太神奇了
Oh, sorry, darling. I wasn't listening. It's amazing.
Linda这是虚的
Linda, it's hollow.
相信我新奇的东西真的很快就消失了
Trust me, the novelty wears off really quick.
是真的吗
Does it, though?
好吧不是它基本上一直都超棒
OK, no. It's basically brilliant all the time.
看看我们飞的多高
Look how high we are!
我的天啊 Leon Leon
Oh, my God! Leon, Leon.
我要告诉你我还一直都想干什么
I'll tell you what else I've always really wanted to do.
不不不那不是个好主意 - 啊拜托 Leon
No, no, no. That's a bad idea. - Oh, please, Leon.
我只是需要抽离一下
I just need to get it out of my system.
你保证如果我给你买♥♥可♥卡♥因♥你会回到Jeff身边吗
Do you promise you'll go back to Jeff if I buy you cocaine?
Leon 我绝对绝对保证
Leon, I totally, totally promise.
好就这么定了带我们去哥伦比亚
Boom, nailed. Take us to Colombia!
咱们干到底我咱们去掉菊花茶和茴香茶
Let's go the whole hog. Let's cut camomile and fennel.
总体上砍掉所有川宁调味茶包
Basically, cut all the Twinings.
这是你想要的吗 Ewan
Is that what you want, Ewan?
我不经常锤人
I don't thump people very
但我真想你脑袋上锤两下
often but I will thump you upside the head.
或者我们只要去掉薄荷茶
Maybe we should just cut peppermint.
你这是在逗我吗
Are you kidding me right now?
你明知道这是我这个肠易激综合症患者唯一还能喝的热饮
You know that's my only IBS-friendly hot drink option.
你要是取消薄荷茶
You cut peppermint
我会从此每天永远都拉在裤子上
and I will literally shit in my pants every day for ever.
天太难了
God. It's so hard.
这就像<苏菲的选择>
This is just like Sophie's Choice,
只不过这次"苏菲"有14个小孩
only if Sophie had had 14 kids.
对不起我整天想着这些事
I'm sorry. I think I'm letting it all get on top of me.
你觉得我要亲自去解雇这些人吗
Do you think I've got to fire these people personally?
不能就派那些拆弹机器人去吗
Can't I just send him one of those bomb disposal robots,
加张写着"对不起"的纸条再给点费雷罗巧克力
with a note saying, sorry, and some Ferrero Rocher?
我去开
I'll get that.
想给爸妈找个调解人
Thinking about getting a mediator for Mum and Dad.
要么
Either...
找那个搞定苹果告三星的人
The guy who settled Apple versus Samsung...
要么
... or
这可能是个蠢注意
this is a potentially stupid idea
布莱尔 - 托尼吗
... Blair. - Tony?
你可以找他大概半小时
You can get him for like half an hour.
大约10万英镑
It's like 100,000 pound.
你想找托尼·布莱尔帮你父母在一起
You want to get Tony Blair to keep your parents together?
太可笑了
It's ridiculous.
但值得试试吗
But worth a try?
Josh 我觉得你可能就不该管他们这事
Josh, I think maybe you just need to leave them to it.
有时候你以为行得通但就是不行
Sometimes things don't work out like you think they will.
就像我和你
Like me and you?
或我和Greg
Or me and Greg.
我知道你恨他 Josh
I know you hate him, Josh.
恨这个字太狠了 Abbey
Hate is a very strong word, Abbey.
但现在这样这么说完全可以接受
But in this case, it's entirely acceptable.
我的意思是呸呸呸
I mean, piddle puddle puddle...
回来这儿感觉真怪
Weird being back in here.
嗯
Mm.
我们从来没编完阴♥道♥矿工
You know, we never finished coding Vagina Miner.
那个我们一起开始做的游戏
That video game we started.
Abbey 我记得阴♥道♥矿工
Abbey, I remember Vagina Miner.
其实就是疯狂矿工的翻版只不过设定在女王的阴♥道♥里
Essentially, Manic Miner, but set inside the Queen's vagina.
也许我们应该
Maybe we should...
什么时候再试着把它完成
... try and finish it again sometime.
不知道
Don't know.
除非你想的话
Only if you wanted to.
我有个旧笔电不知道在哪儿里面有人设
I've got a build of it in an old laptop somewhere.
我想看那个人设
I'd like to see that build.
我也想给你看
I'd like to show you that build.
好啊
All right.
开
Open!
快打开
Open!
那是桃子吗 - 如果是个小罐头
Is that peaches? - If it's a small tin,
可能是吞拿鱼可能是三文鱼比较可能是三文鱼
it could be tuna, it could be salmon. Probably salmon.
只是罐三文鱼快打开 - 是的就是三文鱼
It's only a tin of salmon! Just open! - Yeah, it's salmon.
为啥他拿个榔头敲罐头
And why is he hitting the can of salmon with a hammer?
哦老天
Oh, God.
很简单的不是吗
It's quite simple, isn't it?
就是要打开来
All you need to do is open up...
一罐三文鱼电动开罐器坏了
Tin of salmon. The electric tin opener won't work.
爸别担心我们可以再买♥♥一个新的
Dad, don't worry about it. We'll get a new one.
你觉得她准备好回家了吗
Do you think she's ready to come back in the house?
没事的爸
It's going to be OK, Dad.
Leon在和她谈了好吗
Leon's talking to her, all right?
一切都会好起来的
Everything's going to be fine.
哦
Oh!
看我是华尔街熟♥女♥
Look at me. I'm the MILF of Wall Street.
我需要这个 Leon
I needed this, Leon.
Jeff搞不懂
Jeff doesn't get it.
他好无聊什么也不想做从来不想
He's boring. He never wants to do anything, ever.
所以我们闹翻了
I mean, that's why we fell out.
因弗内斯是吗呆在房♥里
Inverness, yeah? Stayed in the room.
呆在他威尼斯的房♥里玩数独
Stayed in his room in Venice, playing Sudoku.
那是什么 - 你肯定会回他那里去的对吧
What's that about? - You're definitely going back to him?
是啊肯定会去 - 嘣解决了看见不
Definitely. Definitely do that, yeah. - Boom. Sorted, see?
Casey觉得我啥也不会做这就是我在做的
Casey thinks I don't do anything. This is what I do.
我为非常问题找到非常解决方法
I find unconventional solutions to unconventional problems.
那就是你会的 Leon - 非常准确
That is what you do, Leon. - That is exactly.
他们觉得我不能做业务开♥发♥
They think I can't develop the business?
我没伤业头脑
I'm not businessly-minded?
我超有伤业头脑的 - 太有伤业头脑了
I am businessly-minded. - So businessly-minded.
我超有伤业头脑的 - 太有伤业头脑了
I'm so businessly-minded. - So businessly-minded.
我超有伤业头脑的太伤人了
I am so businessly-minded, it hurts.
伤业真的是个词吗
Is businessly definitely a word?
不知道
I don't know.
伤业是个词吗 - 它不是不
Is businessly a word? - It isn't a word. No.
那我不该用这个词了因为我是个商人
I should stop using it, because I am a businessman.
今晚我要通宵
I am going to sit up all
写个伟大的商业计划书
night and write a massive business plan and
让你们瞧瞧谁是大商人
then we'll see who the big businessman is.
Linda 来一下 - 怎么了什么事
Linda, come here. - Why, what's going on?
我写了份商业计划书 - 好
I've written a business plan. - Right.
手悠的未来三十年完全规划出来了
The next 30 years of Idyl Hands, totally mapped out,
扩张到中国哥们儿 - 30年商业大计
Chinese expansion, brethren. - 30-year business plan.
那你要把它给谁看 - 每个人
So who you sending it to? - Everyone.
Casey 你和Baranson
Casey, you, Branson.
Musk 还有所有那些在谷歌♥的小混♥蛋♥
Musk. All those pricks at Google.
那我妈呢 - 嗯她也会收到一份的
What about my mum? - Yeah, she's got a copy.
不是和我爸的事儿
No! With my dad.
哦对解决了
Oh, er, yeah, yeah. That's sorted.
她会回你♥爸♥那儿去
She's going back to him.
哦老兄太赞了
Oh, man. That's huge.