爱卡莉（2021）

iCarly S01E11

Part 2 Nov. 26, 2021, 6:49 p.m.

Spencer, I faked my own kidnapping.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
不是我的问题是你的问题
It's not me, it's you!
好吧你为什么这么做
Okay. Why'd you do that?
我们家破产的时候
When our family lost all of our money,
我的生活中充斥着狗仔
I was being hounded by the paparazzi,
收账人媒体
bill collectors, the media--
主要是收账人
mostly bill collectors.
所以我跳上一艘邮轮跑路了
So I hopped on a cruise and sailed away.
然后这事就突然变成了绑♥架♥
Suddenly it's all like, "kidnapping this"
和债务减免之类的
and "debt forgiveness" that, so...
我们现在比以往更亲近了耶
Now we're even closer than before! Yay!
你不生气吗
You're not mad?
只要你没当过斗牛小丑就没事
As long as you were never a rodeo clown, we're fine.
那挺好的
Well, that's great.
你觉得哈珀会理解吗
Do you think Harper will understand?
不会
No. No.
她会杀了你之后把你海葬
She's gonna kill you and bury you at sea.
我会在你的墓前留下新鲜海藻的
I'll lay fresh kelp at your grave.
你看来了这么多女生
Wow, look at all these women.
还有你还有他
And you. And that guy.
姐妹力量大家共同的目标就是
A camaraderie of sisterhood, joining hands to say,
我们能自己修车
"We can fix it ourselves."
我要开始记笔记了
I'm gonna start taking notes now.
你知道课程从哪里开始吗米莉森特
You know where class starts, Millicent?
这里
In here.
那是你的锁骨
That's your clavicle.
我就是迫不及待
I just can't wait to learn
想学习到关于车的一切知识
everything there is to know about cars.
我真是个文艺复兴式的人
I truly am a renaissance person.
不过最重要的是
But most importantly,
我会把范·迪塞尔修得非常完美
I'm gonna get Vin Diesel in tip-top shape.
是MTV最佳背心造型奖获得者范·迪塞尔吗
MTV Movie Award winner for Best Tank Top Vin Diesel?
他已经够完美了
He's in perfect shape.
我的车名字叫范·迪塞尔
Oh, my car's name is Vin Diesel.
昨天那个人想收我一万五的修车费
Yesterday, this guy tried to charge me $15,000 for repairs.
太惨了
Ugh, the worst.
不过你肯定会喜欢这堂课的讲师
But you're gonna love the instructor of this class.
他很有耐心聪明
He is so patient and smart,
而且他教你怎么调试发动机的时候
and when he shows you how to do a tune-up,
可以说是个很温柔的人
it's almost... tender.
只要他是个诚实人就好
As long as he's honest.
我反正不能再接受跟昨天那个人
I just can't take another skeezy scammer,
一样的道德败坏骗子了
like that guy I met yesterday.
道德败坏骗子听起来很过分
Skeezy scammer? Sounds like a jerk.
没错他啊你
Yeah, he sure w-- Aah! You.
欢迎来上课各位
Hi. Welcome to class, everyone.
撞衫了
Ooh, twinsies.
这里是你的维修店
This is your shop?
嗯这以前是我爷爷的店
Yes. Uh, it was my grandfather's
传给了我爸又传给我
and then my father's and now mine.
我们是汽车世家
Cars run in the family.
所以这一切都不是你打拼出来的
So you earned none of this.
瑞吉娜
Oh, Regina.
再次见到你很开心
Hey, it-it's great to see you again.
如果你再多学几遍
If you take this class any more times,
就可以上来讲课了
you're gonna be the one teaching it.
我可以拍一张你的照片吗
Can I take a picture of you?
好了同学们我们开始吧
Okay, class, let's go ahead and get started.
这课就是个骗局
You know, this class is a sham.
你给了大家不切实际的期望
You're giving people false hope.
因为当大家意识到他们没办法自己修车的时候
'Cause then, when they realize they can't fix their own cars,
就会回来求你你就能捞很大一笔钱
they're gonna crawl back to you and then you can swindle them.
就跟那些免费给你薯片
It's just like one of those restaurants
但是宰你鳄梨酱的餐厅一样
that gives you free chips and then charges a ton for guac.
这是玉米饼缇娜的烦恼吗
Is that one of Taco Tina's troubles?
不是这样的好吗
That's not what's happening here, okay?
我不过是喜欢让人们拥有这些技能
I-I just like to empower people
这样就不需要我们去
so that they don't need someone like me to come in
进行机械说教了
and "vansplain."
注：vansplain来自mansplaining（男性说教）
机械说教
Vansplain!
不管听到多少次每次都更好笑了
No matter how many times I hear that, it just gets funnier.
女士冷静
Lady, be cool.
我要教学的第一项内容就是
First thing I want to teach you all
如何监测车辆中的液体
is how to monitor your vehicle's fluids.
谁愿意上来帮我检查一下油箱
So who wants to come up and help me check the oil?
求你了我此生再无他愿
Please, God, I never ask for anything.
你来吧卡莉
How about you, Carly?
好吧
Fine.
我是想给其他同学一个机会
I was just trying to give someone else a chance,
毕竟我已经会这些了
since I already know how to do all this,
不过我愿意为他们展示一下正确操作
but I suppose I can demonstrate for the good of my peers.
很好
Great.
那么手伸进去把量油尺拿出来
Then reach on down in and grab the dipstick.
认真的吗 -这名字也不是我取的
Seriously? - I didn't name it.
不是这个
Not it.
我知道我只是在测试你
I know. I was just testing you.
很好你通过了
Good job. You passed.
来我帮你
Here, let me just help.
听着我自己可以
Look, I can do it myself.
好了同学们
Okay, class.
谁能告诉我卡莉哪里出错了
Who can tell me what Carly did wrong?
如果这都不能让哈珀在坏消息面前保持好心情
If this doesn't put Harper in the right mood to hear bad news,
那就真的没有办法了
I don't know what will.
我抢到了她觊觎很久的限♥量♥款
I snagged the limited edition Normani Off Balance sneakers
诺马尼奥百伦运动鞋
she's been coveting.
是穿在手心的舒适
You wear them on your hands.
我买♥♥了这瓶两千刀的香槟
And I got this $2,000 bottle of champagne.
是我在房♥地♥产♥销♥售♥会上从一个因为不停购买♥♥
I bought it at an estate sale of someone who went bankrupt
两千刀的香槟而破产的人手里买♥♥来的
buying $2,000 bottles of champagne.
我把我们最讨厌的表姐洛克西的照片放在这里
And I framed this photo of our least favorite cousin Roxy.
无论我做什么我都会比她好
No matter what I do, I'll always look better in comparison.
下地狱吧洛克西
Go to hell, Roxy.
她来了
She's here.
等等鲜花香槟
Hold up. Flowers? Bubbly?
限♥量♥版诺马尼奥百伦
Limited edition Normani Off Balance sneakers!
穿在手心的舒适
You wear them on your hands.
这都是你们为我准备的
You two did all this for me?
是的因为我们爱你而且我们想要告诉你
We did, because we love you, and we need to tell you...
我拿到了双荷兰人的造型工作你们有多开心
How happy you are that I got the styling job with Double Dutch?
等等你们怎么已经知道了
Wait. How did you two already hear?
你被录用了么
You got the job?
恭喜你被录用了
You got the job!
这里居然还有洛克西的照片
Oh! There's even a picture of Roxy,
以提醒我我比她过得好
to remind me that I'm doing better than her.
我的如梅不叛最厌姐
My l-f-c-u-m-e-b-m.
如梅不叛最厌姐
L-f-c-u-m-e-b-m?
如果梅芙不背叛我就是最讨厌的表姐
Least favorite cousin unless Maeve ever betrays me.
我从那节愚蠢的汽车维修课回来了
Back from the dumb auto mechanic class
而且我再也不会去了
that I'm never going back to.
鲜花香槟
Flowers? Bubbly?
诺马尼奥百伦穿在手心的舒适
Normani Off Balance sneakers that you wear on your hands?
你被录用了太好了 -大家一起来
You got the job! Oh, my God! Yes! - Come here!
好了好了好了
Okay, okay. Okay.
既然大家都那么开心
Now that we're all in such a good mood,
梅芙有些话想要和大家说
Maeve has something she'd like to say.
哈珀我想说的是
Harper, I just want you to know...
我太为你开心了
...I am so happy for you!
你知道此刻我们需要什么么
Oh, you know what we need?
喷香槟仪式
A champagne shower.