爱卡莉（2021）
iCarly
第一季
剧集 | 爱卡莉（2021） | 导航列表
爱卡莉（2021）
iCarly S01E01
Part 2
Nov. 26, 2021, 6:47 p.m.
When my family lost all their money,
我本想蜷缩在属于我们的
all I wanted to do was curl up
15米长的帆船上默默哭泣
on the deck of our 50-foot sailboat and cry,
但我没有 你知道为什么吗
but I didn't. You know why?
因为你♥爸♥把它弄沉去骗保费了
Because your dad sunk it for insurance.
也因为我决定把它看成是一次机会
And because I decided to look at it as an opportunity.
我调整了自己的心态
I picked myself up.
我到处申请工作
I applied for every job I could think of,
但全部以不合格为理由被拒绝
and they all said I was unqualified.
然后我在天巴克找到了份底薪工作
Then I got a minimum-wage job as Skybucks,
干到现在整整四年了
and I'm still there four years later.
你的语气里结局很美满 但我感觉
It had a happy-ending tone, but--
因为它就是美满的呀
Because it is happy.
通过给我那件俗得掉渣的围裙搭配饰品
Accessorizing that tacky-ass apron made me realize
我觉醒了当造型师的梦想
that I want to be a stylist,
而现在我工作和理想都有了
and now I have a job and a dream
而且我想喝多少混合奶油都可以
and all the half-and-half I can drink.
但是你乳糖不耐啊 -我的身体我做主
You're lactose intolerant. - My body, my choice.
去这场派对吧 迈出你的第一步
Go to this party, take the first step,
如果你不打算穿着那双黑色短靴
and if you don't take the first step
迈出第一步的话 我可以借来穿穿吗
in those black ankle boots, can I borrow them?
哇哦 我以为我来早了
Wow. I thought I was early,
但是已经来了这么多人了
but there are so many people here already.
它们是侍者 我让他们穿得像客人一样
They're servers. I had them dress like guests,
免得我的朋友们一个个都说“看哪 斯宾塞不只有
so my friends wouldn't be all, "Ooh, look at Spencer
成群的服务生和翻修过的公♥寓♥
"with his waiters and his remodeled apartment
还有镶着施华洛世奇水晶的四角裤呢”
and his Swarovski crystal boxer briefs."
我还是从前的那个少年
Still just a regular guy.
金箔马提尼 -好的 谢谢
Gold-leaf martini? Yes, please.
你真的可以尝到黄金
You can really taste the gold.
你通过努力赢得了你的成功 是你创作了
You earned your success. You're the guy
棉花糖白宫雕塑
who made the marshmallow White House sculpture.
它融化了一半的样子反映了我们
The way that it was half melted to reflect
正在瓦解的民♥主♥制度 相当大胆的宣言
our disintegrating democracy, such a brave statement.
那其实是个意外
It was an accident.
我把雕塑放在了我的手♥机♥旁边
I left it next to my cell phone,
之后那部手♥机♥自燃了
which broke out into a spontaneous fire.
不提这个 我养了只猎鹰 名字叫杰利哥
Anyway, now I own a falcon named Jericho.
哇 而我显然一事无成
Wow. I clearly did it all wrong.
追求过我的梦想 迎娶了爱的姑娘
Pursued my dreams, married for love.
最终二婚又分手 创业也失败
Two divorces and a failed start-up later,
现在回家跟我妈一起住
I'm back living with my mom.
要不我在考虑下次技术创业之前
Maybe instead of figuring out my next tech venture,
先点着几个棉花糖吧
I'll just melt some marshmallows.
我会告得你倾家荡产
I'll sue you into the ground.
哇 而我显然一事无成
Wow. I clearly did it all wrong.
不要啊
Oh, no.
追求过我的梦想 迎娶了爱的姑娘--
Pursued my dreams, married for love--
米莉森特 别发到网上
Millicent, do not post that.
我在创作内容呢
I'm making content.
跟你说过别录我
Told you just stop recording me.
现在回家跟我妈一起住
I'm back living with my mom.
咱们只是收养关系 别像我爸一样命令我
Just because you adopted me doesn't make you my dad.
现在回家跟我妈一起住
I'm back living with my mom.
我就是你♥爸♥ 收养关系等于父女关系
Literally, it does. That is exactly what it means.
好了 发布
And send.
你去给视频点个赞增加热度呗
Can you like it to give it some traction?
“请您去给视频点个赞增加热度 可以吗”
"Can you like it to give it some traction, please?"
我设了个五分钟的闹钟
I'm setting a timer for exactly five minutes.
等它一响 我就又要回去无欲无求地拿一包速冻薯条
After that, it's back to numbly eating frozen french fries
直接生吃
straight from the bag.
太好了 你们到了 带什么东西了吗
Oh, good. You guys came. So what did you bring the host?
特调混合奶油咖啡 吧台在哪儿
It's half-and-half. Where's the bar?
你好呀卡莉 退休生活如何
Hi, Carly. How's retirement?
我没有退休
I'm not retired.
你都一个月没更新视频了
You haven't posted for a month.
在网络世界 相当于消失了十年
In internet years, that's a decade.
没事的卡莉 安心逝去吧
It's okay, Carly. Go into the light.
你的频道只有两个粉丝订阅
Your channel has two subscribers.
我知道是因为其中一个就是我
I know. I'm one of them.
完了 大家会以为看我视频的都是老人家
Ugh. Now people are going to think my channel is for olds.
各位 可以听我说几句吗
Okay, can I have everyone's attention, please?
谢谢合作 趁着卡莉还在场
Thank you. Okay. While Carly is still here
你有一分钟时间 现在还剩45秒
One minute, 45 seconds to go.
几年前我创作了一个
Years ago I created a sculpture
含有最多的活动部件的雕塑作品
with the most moving parts,
无意间打破了乔纳斯世界纪录
unwittingly breaking a Jonas World Record.
之后我的纪录又被其他人打破 但今夜我要重拾荣光
I've since lost that title, but tonight I shall reclaim it.
各位请看 超塑的雕塑
Behold, the "Supertastic Sculpture of Stuff..."
增强版
"Plus."
了不起 和上一个有什么不同吗
Impressive. Is it different from the old one?
这就是上一个 只不过我又塞了更多东西进去
No. It is the old one, just with more stuff.
所以叫做增强版
Hence the plus.
我不觉得没意思 -我觉得很有意思
I'm not unamused. - I'm full-on amused.
我们看的是同一个东西吗
Are we all looking at the same thing?
这不就是一坨垃圾山么
That big, old pile of junk?
这叫艺术
It's art.
我也不能强迫所有人都喜欢 你为什么不喜欢
Not everyone has to like it. Why don't you like it?
你只是拿出以前做的东西
It's just the same thing you did before
又新加了几个部件而已 不是吗
with a few new pieces, right?
有没有人能放下手里的金酒 来帮我说几句话
Will somebody put down their gold drink and defend me?
我来
I will.
这件作品的天才之处在于
The reason this is genius is--
到点先走了 诸位晚安
And I'm out. Night, guys.
弗雷迪 帮帮我 接着她的话继续说
Freddie, finish her thought, please.
好吧 我想想
Okay. Um.
卡莉 你是去过湖角营的卡莉·谢吗
Carly? Carly Shay from Camp Lakehorn?
卢克 你是也去过湖角营的卢克·泰勒吗
Luke? Luke Tyler also from Camp Lakehorn?
你这是要走了 -没有
Are you leaving? - No.
我只是在给你女朋友留门
I'm just holding the door for your girlfriend.
我单身
I'm single.
绝了 我们共同点怎么这么多
Oh, my God. We have so much in common.
不敢相信咱们能再会
I can't believe we found each other again.
我想多了解了解你
I just want to know everything about you.
令尊是做什么的
What does your dad do?
他在空军 后来不知怎的上了潜水艇
Well, he's in the Air Force but was somehow on a submarine.
然后 我也不太清楚
And I'm not exactly sure.
好吧 令堂是个怎样的人 -我
Okay. What's your mom like? -Uh--i--
还是聊聊我爸吧
let's go back to my dad.
所以你随便挑了一堆东西 用热熔胶粘上去
So you hot-glued a bunch of random stuff on there
只为留住一块牌子 还为此开了个派对庆祝
to keep a plaque, then threw yourself a party?
那不是牌子 是证书
It's not a plaque. It's a certificate.
我得吃点东西发泄一下
I need to eat my feelings.
你不是服务生
Not a waiter?
从意大利回来之后我去上了大学
When I got back from Italy, I went to college.
我试过学习戏剧和媒体研究
I tried theater and media studies,
但听教授讲老套乏味的课
but I felt like I got more out of doing "iCarly"
好像不如我拍“爱卡莉”学得多 该说说你了
than at any boring old lecture. So what do you do?
我在大学当教授
I'm a college professor.
但是你的授课内容肯定很有意义
But I bet whatever you teach is super meaningful.
我专门研究粘性食物的口感
I specialize in the mouthfeel of certain viscous foods.
我说的吧 很有意义
Yep, super meaningful.
说真的 我现在不适合和人约会
Trust me, I am in no place to date.
看到没 就是你的那份自知 让我觉得你值得我约
See, just that self-awareness tells me you totally are.
金枪鱼手卷吃没了 我就先溜了
They're out of spicy tuna cones, so I'm going to dip.
这是我继女 我和前妻一起抚养她
That's my stepdaughter. I share custody with my ex,
离婚的时候她把我所有好看的衬衫都拿走了
who divorced me and took all my nice shirts.
找到你了
Oh, there you are.
米莉森特 洗澡水放好了 弗雷迪 弗雷迪
Millicent, I drew your bath, and, Freddie--Freddie!
我给你床边保温瓶里倒了热牛奶
I put your warm milk in your Thermos next to your bed.
你们俩都同意的话 咱们等会儿挤在一起
爱卡莉（2021）
iCarly
剧集 | 爱卡莉（2021） | 导航列表