爱卡莉（2021）

iCarly S01E01

Part 4 Nov. 26, 2021, 6:47 p.m.

你要是说句喜欢我就送你一辆车
I'll buy you a car if you say you like it.
还好我没有停车场不然你得破产
You are lucky I do not have parking.
我太需要这个了
I needed this.
我的晚餐是废弃乳制品
I had discarded dairy juice for dinner.
不是吧 -就是那破乳清
No way. - Yes, whey.
我为什么会萌生和卢克一起做节目的想法
Why did I ever think I should start a channel with Luke?
我对于搭档这么饥渴吗
Am I that desperate for a partner?
别回答我还没说完
Don't answer that, still talking.
我就是想再做出些成绩
I just want to make things again.
没有搭档你也可以做到
You don't need a partner to do that.
是我不需要随便什么搭档我需要莎姆
Yeah. I don't need a partner. I need Sam,
但是她跟那群摩托车手去追逐梦想了
but she's off following her bliss with that biker gang.
毁灭者希望她人没事
The Obliteraters. I hope she's okay.
那可是莎姆我希望那群人没事
It's Sam. I hope they're okay.
希望她也在这样我们就能重启爱卡莉了
I just wish she was here so we could do "iCarly" again.
你觉得我自己一个人行吗
Do you think I could do it on my own?
我怎么觉得不重要重要的是你想要什么
Doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you want.
当然我也不可能单枪匹马做节目
Of course, I wouldn't be completely on my own.
我会和我的新制♥作♥人一起
I'd have my new producer.
你说的是我对吧 -对啦
Aw. You do mean me, right? - Yeah.
你能不能用那个
Do you think you could shoot me
让我颧骨看起来像这样的滤镜
using that filter that makes my cheekbones all--
就是那个让你变成外星人的滤镜吗
That filter that makes you look like an alien?
那也是性感的外星人
A sexy alien.
可以那么现在只剩下一个问题了
Sure. I guess there's just one more question.
斯宾塞有没有建那个家庭健身房♥
If Spencer ever got around to building that home gym.
我才不会在家健身呢
I was never going to use a home gym.
对噢
Oh, that's right.
忘了我还玩过一段时间牵线木偶
I forgot about my marionette-making phase.
我把它们放在这里远离刀具
I keep them up here because it's away from the knives.
为什么那个长得像卡莉
Mm, why does that one look like Carly?
我也做了个跟你很像的弗雷迪
I made one that looks like you too, Freddie,
但是我卖♥♥给诺拉·德士利特了
but I sold it to Nora Dershlit.
这真的可以吗
Is this a good idea?
我在节目上要做什么呢
I mean, what would I even do on the show?
传统的搞怪把戏还是新潮的精致游戏
Old, goofy stuff, new, sophisticated stuff?
找到能让你微笑的东西就好了从那里出发
Just find something that makes you smile. Go from there.
那些腊肠犬常常让我微笑
Those dachshunds always made me smile.
是谁放上去的
Who put those up there?
我这辈子都没见过那些东西
I've never seen those before in my life.
笨蛋村姑
Aw. The idiot farm girl.
说实话这个胡子真的很像松鼠
You know what? This really does look like a squirrel.
天哪还有这些袋子当时超有趣的
Oh, my God. The sack. These were so fun.
是挺有趣然后莎姆用强力胶把我的拉绳粘死
Yeah, until Sam superglued my drawstring closed
还把我扔在这里一晚上
and left me here overnight.
那晚对我来说也很艰难
Yeah. That was a rough night for me too.
他一直在尖叫
He would not stop screaming.
乔治会讲鬼故事的胸罩
George, the bra that told ghost stories.
我的发育还是赶不上你的胸怀啊
I never did grow into you.
你看这都是你小时候想到的主意
See, you came up with all this stuff when you were a kid.
现在的你必然更大有可为
Imagine what you can do now.
只要在我们能力范围内的我们都帮
And we'll help however we can.
很高兴能听到你这么说因为
I'm really glad to hear you say that because...
就说这个应该也还在
I thought it might still be here.
该死
Damn it.
我们回归了
We're back.
倒数五四
In five, four,
三二
three, two--
欢迎来到全新的爱卡莉
Welcome to the new "iCarly."
已经开始有些人进入直播间了
Ooh, looks like she's already got a few viewers.
说不定是巴西的僵尸号♥
Probably bots from Brazil.
这里依然是爱卡莉不过是成熟版的
This is still "iCarly," but it's grown-up now.
所以我今天想来分享一下我的护肤流程
So today I thought I'd share my skin-care routine.
据大数据推给我的千千万万的广♥告♥所述
According to the many, many targeted ads I get,
什么时候开始使用抗老产品
it's never too early to start using...
都不嫌早
anti-aging products!
对斯宾塞宝宝来说也一样
Even for Baby Spencer.
耶是我耶
Yeah! That's me!
这些产品都没有做过动物测试
None of these products were tested on animals,
现在这个可爱的幸运小孩将成为第一个
just one tiny, little lucky infant.
我真幸运我一点都不担心
Oh, I feel lucky! In no way am I worried.
来啦
Here we go.
我觉得你得多抹一点
Oh, I think he needs a lot more.
再来一点吗 -已经够了
Some more? - No. That's enough already.
你这手法不对劲吧
I don't think this is how you do it.
我好爱这个精华
I love this serum.
这个其实是我在711的冲动消费
I actually panic-bought it when I was at a 7-Eleven,
有个人喊我女士
and the guy there called me ma'am.
搞不懂他为什么这么纠结
I don't know what he's so upset about.
我花钱雇人给我护肤来着
I pay people to do this to me.
大家都说当你到了需要护肤品的年龄
They say that by the time you need skin care,
其实已经晚了
it's already too late,
但你还是应该倾家荡产买♥♥护肤品
but you should still spend all your money on it.
最后我们花大价钱买♥♥了个真理
And in the end, it's just an expensive reminder
就是人终有一死
we're all going to die someday.
在喜剧节目上说这话不太好吧
That's a little emo for a comedy show, don't you think?
敷面膜啦 -啥
Sheet mask. - What?
给你敷好
Yup. Here you go.
好奇怪大家都喜欢看
People are weirdly loving this.
不奇怪我非常讨厌
I'm totally hating it!
面膜敷够了小宝宝现在我们要
Enough of that, baby. And now we're just going to...
好冰
That's cold.
让精华铺满全脸 -我不喜欢这种感觉
Roll it all up. - I don't like that feeling.
这样好让水分
And we're going to absorb
完全吸收 -好冰啊
All the moisturizer. - It's cold.
准备好敷唇膜了吗
You ready for the lip mask?
我也不知道唇膜是什么但我准备好了
Oh, I don't know what it is, but I am.
来啦 -好的
Right here. - Okay.
你可千万要把嘴巴闭紧噢
Okay. You're going to want to keep your mouth nice and shut.
听着不错
That sounds good.
这个唇膜其实是洗衣粉做的
This lip mask is actually made out of laundry detergent.
感觉这个节目从来没有离开过
Kinda of seems like we never left.
敬我妹妹卡莉
A toast to my sister, Carly.
敬卡莉 -敬卡莉
To Carly. - To Carly.
还有我决定了不给乔纳斯奖的工作人员打电♥话♥
Also I decided not to call the Jonas people.
还是让别人拥有这个世界纪录吧
Let someone else have the world record.
这毕竟不是我创作这个雕塑的初衷
It's not why I made the sculpture,
也不是我热爱它的原因
and it's not why I love it.
我还是不喜欢 -该死
Still not for me. - Damn it.
我觉得这件雕塑很棒
I think the sculpture is great.
那些零部件还能活动吗
Do all the pieces still move?
必须的
You tell me.
我我爱了
I--I love it.
真的吗 -太真了
You do? - Absolutely.
将你自己置身于烈火之中
It's about setting your own self on fire
再像凤♥凰♥一样从灰烬中重生
and then rebuilding from the ashes like a phoenix.
如果你只想简要概括的话那差不多吧
If you want to oversimplify it, sure.
你之前一直说什么世界纪录
You know, you really had me going
我真被你骗了
with the whole world record thing,
现在看来那也是这个雕塑的一部分
but I guess that was just a part of it.
表演艺术
Performance art.
其实不应该着火的对吧
It wasn't supposed to catch on fire, was it?
从来无此意
Never is.