爱卡莉（2021）

iCarly S01E03

Part 3 Nov. 26, 2021, 6:47 p.m.

我的新事业马上就要助我成为碧昂丝般的富豪了
I'm about to be Beyoncé rich with my new business.
你这完全是镜花水月别乱套用碧局的名字
What did I tell you about taking Bey's name in vain?
才不是镜中花水中月
Oh, it's not in vain.
发现能从弗雷迪过去的网络发言
Since finding Freddie's old posts
赚到一笔以后
turned out to be profitable,
我找到了市场上的空白
I realized that there's a hole in the market.
所有Z世代的小孩都知道现如今什么样的发言很冒犯
Any Gen Z kid can tell you what's offensive now,
但只有米莉森特能预测什么即将成为冒犯发言
but only Millicent can predict what will offend next.
本人就是冒犯发言预言家
I am the Offensive Oracle.
这卡纸还挺像回事 -当然
Oh, this card stock is legit. - Mm-hmm.
需不需要我清洗一番你的社交媒体账号♥
Want me to scrub your social media
亲友价500美元
for a friends and family rate of $500?
我宁愿穿用头发做成的衣服
I'd rather wear a shirt made out of human hair.
你脱发的量就足够做一件了
And you can make one with all you shed.
我把超级碗广♥告♥的宣传歌♥都写好了
I even wrote a jingle for my Super Bowl commercial.
还记得我们曾因狂妄
Remember that we all post
在网络写下自大篇章
From our own place of privilege
现在仔细想一想
Just take into account
人人意见各不相让
We all have disparate opinions
如若感到困扰周身问题环绕
So if you're feeling worried you might be problematic
记得打给你的朋友米莉森特
Just call up your friend Millicent
或者看本书吧
Or go read a book
教育你不是我的工作
It's not my job to educate you
付钱就是另外一说
Unless you pay me money
谁能记住这首歌♥啊
No one's gonna remember that song.
但世界会记住你对斯宾塞的所作所为
But the world will remember what you did to Spencer.
除非你购入我的表情包清除系列服务
Unless you purchase my "Meme Sweep" package.
具体操作是让古稀之年的共和党议员
It's where I get Republican Senators over 70
用你的表情包然后其他人就不想用了
to use your meme so no one else wants to.
稍等一下
Now, hold on.
我们才不要清除表情包
We are not sweeping any memes
等这些T恤卖♥♥光了再说
until these tees are sold out.
提醒我了我要在Instagram上直播宣传一下
Which reminds me, I need to do some Instagram Live promo.
大家好啊各位时尚潮男时尚靓女
What's popping, fashionistas, fashionistos,
还有时尚尤物们
and fashionistxs?
我进了一批肉丸T恤的新货
I just got a new shipment of meatball tees
各种尺码各种颜色彩虹设计
in every size, color, under the rainbow.
你好啊雷雷
Oh, hey, Ray-Ray!
这其实是个好主意
That's actually a great idea!
我可以直播斯宾塞的展出
I can do a livestream of Spencer's show.
这样大家的注意力就会
That way, people's focus will be off
从表情包里我这张妙趣横生的脸
my admittedly hilarious meme face
转移到该去的地方也就是斯宾塞的艺术创作上
and right back on Spencer's art, where it belongs.
我要是有个我这样的妹妹就好了
I wish I was my sister.
你好啊米莉森特
Hi, Millicent.
我知道你还在生我的气
I know you're still upset with me,
但我觉得这招能管用
but I think this will do the trick.
美国贝贝娃娃
It's a USA Bae Doll!
我还找到了个和你名字一样的
I even found one with your name!
她来自英国殖民时期
She's from the... British colonial era.
应该没有什么问题吧
Nothing problematic about that.
谢谢你
Ooh, thanks!
这能把你对我造成的伤害一笔勾销
This totally erases the trauma you inflicted on me.
用更多的伤害
With more trauma.
米莉森特那只是一篇旧博文
Millicent, it's just an old post.
我的天啊你都没给我买♥♥
Oh, my gosh, you didn't even get me
猩红热附加套装
the scarlet fever add-on pack!
我
Well, I--
我小时候一直都想要一个这样的娃娃
I always wanted one of these as a kid.
现在我拿着它
And now that I'm holding it...
终于实现了这个心愿
I finally have one.
你穿上很好看记得和朋友宣传一下
Yes, you look good, girl! Tell your friends.
所有朋友都别落下
All of 'em.
哈珀你在这里做什么
Harper, what are you doing here?
斯宾塞邀请我来的一开始我还在想为什么请我
Oh, Spencer asked me to come. At first I was like, "Why?"
但很快我就觉得管他呢
But then immediately, I was like, "I don't care."
我们这次应该可以解决整个表情包事件了
Maybe we can finally put this whole meme thing behind us.
你说得对应该吧
Uh-huh. Maybe.
朋友们好
Hi, friends!
我现在正在我哥斯宾塞的最新艺术展
I'm coming to you live from the grand opening
盛大开幕现场为你们实时直播
of my brother Spencer's newest art show!
这些衣服的制♥作♥材料都是百分百可再生的
And these shirts are made with 100% recyclable materials,
有种就继续燃烧汽油污染环境吧
so be bad, buy that premium gas.
在进入之前我想说
Before I go in, I just want to say,
你们做的肉丸表情包大多数都非常棒
most of the meatball face memes you've been making are amazing.
但其中有一些稍微有点冒犯到别人
Some of them, a little offensive.
有三张的制♥作♥者可能需要去看看医生
Three of you need therapy.
但是斯宾塞不只是表情包里的人
But Spencer isn't just the meme guy.
他是一位非常有天赋的艺术家
He's a really talented artist.
今夜只属于斯宾塞
And this night is all about Spencer
不属于我或者
and has nothing to do with me or--
我的脸
my face!
好吧他接受了表情包
Okay, well, he's on board with the meme.
用很夸张的方式
In a really big way.
影响博物馆
"The Museum of Influence."
这和我想象中的不太一样
So this is different than I expected.
看有个幻灯片
Oh, look, a slideshow.
用户名是JacquenessMonster的网友说
@JacquenessMonster.
我宁愿便秘一个月
"I'd rather be constipated for a month
也不想读你的博客
than read your blog."
谢谢他把这条放大了
Love that he's amplifying that.
看看这里有什么
What do we have here?
点赞点赞点赞
Like, like, like!
这会让你空虚的灵魂好受些吗
Does this make your empty soul feel better?
讨人厌的点赞按钮
A hateful like button.
很发人深省吧
Deep?
哦这有拿铁好可爱啊
Oh, look, lattes. This is cute.
泡沫上写着
And the foam says...
这是艺术吗
"Is this art?"
我猜应该是吧
I bet the answer is yes!
这边收到了很多评论
We got a lot of comments coming in.
你们大多数人好像都不喜欢这个展
Most of you don't seem to be loving it,
但我们可以和真正的艺术迷聊聊
but why don't we talk to some true art aficionados
听听更加细致的评价
and get a more nuanced take.
你好我是卡莉·谢来自爱卡莉频道
Hey, I'm Carly Shay of "iCarly."
我是薇洛来自这个会覆亡的地球
I'm Willow, of this impermanent Earth.
你好像很享受这个展出
You seem to really be enjoying this show.
可以邀请你在我的直播上出镜评价两句吗
Would you want to be on my Insta Live review?
可以姐魅力十足
Sure. I'm really charismatic.
好的
Okay.
跟我们说说你对
So tell me your thoughts on--
一片品客薯片是与艺术背道而驰的
"A Single Pringle" is the opposite of art.
所有人都知道真正的艺术是要把两片薯片
Everyone knows that real art is putting two Pringles
朝相反方向放在嘴里
in your mouth facing opposite directions
然后你就会有一个薯片做成的鸭嘴
so you look like a potato chip duck.
就我自己而言我个人感觉有被冒犯到
I, for one hand, am personally offended.
这也是其中一种视角吧但是你不觉得
That's one way to look at it, but don't you think
你对他有点过度在意了么
you're taking this a little too personally?
看来你还没看过那个啊
Oh, so I'm guessing you haven't seen that, then?
这里依然是爱卡莉
This is still "iCarly,"
不过是成熟版的
but it's grown up now,
所以今天我想来分享一下我的护肤流程
so today I thought I'd share my skincare routine.
这是什么鬼东西
What is this hell?
我的评价是
My review?
如果你想看一个仇恨互联网的展出
If you want to see a show all about hating the internet--
以及仇恨我欢迎来影响博物馆
And me, come on down to the "Museum of Influence."
听我说卡莉咱们这些网红
Listen, Carly, us influencers,
要团结起来
we have to stick together.
我再去找找其他对我们不爽的人
I'll go find more people to be mad with us.
你好啊老妹
Hello, sister.