爱卡莉（2021）

iCarly S01E05

Part 1 Nov. 26, 2021, 6:48 p.m.

嘿没成人监护你怎么跑过来了
Hey, why are you here with no adult supervision?
哇哦你可真会自黑
Wow. Way to roast yourself.
我需要你的帮助是弗雷迪
I need your help. It's Freddie.
他没事吧我听到他打喷嚏了他生病了吗
Is he okay? I heard him sneeze. Is he sick?
哦天哪他要死了吗
Oh, my God! Is he dying?
我要当你的新爸爸了吗我接受
Am I your new father? I accept.
你难道不爱婚礼吗
Don't you just love weddings?
哦不
Oh, no.
他陷入婚礼狂热中了
He's got wedding fever.
我只是爱庆祝一生一世的爱而已
I just love celebrating love that lasts a lifetime.
或者说从你个人经历出发 14个月
Or in your case, 14 months.
上次你去参加婚礼的时候你遇到了老妈
Last time you went to a wedding, you met Mom,
所以我绝对会把你看得死死的
so I'm going to be all over you.
我们可不能再冒险
We can't risk another
把一见钟情喜结连理然后惨烈离婚的悲剧再经历一次了
meet-cute-get-married-go-down- in-flames-divorce-tragedy.
别担心作为伴郎我只有一项工作
Don't worry. As best man, I only have one job.
对那就是去安慰孤独的伴娘
Yup. To comfort a lonely bridesmaid.
不是去协助新郎
No. To support the groom.
婚礼是特别而神圣的
Weddings are special and sacred
应当给予尊重
and should be treated with respect.
天哪婚礼真是糟透了
God, weddings suck.
所以你就穿着这身衣服以示抗♥议♥吗
So you're wearing that in protest?
不我穿着这身是因为我不想再次因为外貌
No. I'm wearing this because I'm tired of being punished
过于出众而受罚
for looking good.
你知道我有多少次是因为在彩排晚宴上
Do you know how many weddings I've been uninvited to
比新娘更好看而被撤回婚礼邀请的吗
because I outshine the bride at the rehearsal dinner?
这就是你穿着一身白裙子的原因吗
So you're wearing a white dress?
这是淡乳黄色
Um, this is off, off cream.
再说了现在古驰的T台上全是草原风的服装
Besides prairie-core was all over the Gucci runway,
所以我的着装符合潮流
so I'm on trend.
却不符合我的胃口
Yet off-putting.
你就先放下对我的痴迷吧
Forget your obsession with me.
我们现在要把重心放在卡莉身上
We need to focus on Carly.
她最近在约会方面不太顺心
She's been really down about dating lately,
现在她又要在她童年死对头
and now she has to spend an entire weekend
的婚礼上度过一整个周末
at the wedding of her childhood nemesis.
内维尔·帕珀曼 -内维尔·帕珀曼
Nevel Papperman. -Nevel Papperman.
你说得对她到时一定会很脆弱
You're right. She's going to be extremely fragile.
有谁准备好去参加一场有趣的婚礼了吗
Who's ready for a really fun wedding?
看吧她都已经不成人样了
See? She's a wreck.
你不是很讨厌内维尔吗
You despise Nevel.
我以为去他的婚礼会让你很不高兴呢
I thought you'd be upset about going to his wedding.
我当然不高兴我的宿敌想通过炫耀
Of course I'm upset. My sworn enemy wants
他的喜悦来达到让我痛苦的目的
to make me miserable by flaunting his happiness,
但我准备以其人之道还治其人之身
but I'm going to make him miserable by flaunting mine.
你说的还是喜悦对吧
You're still talking about happiness, right?
你确定你待在家的话不会好受些吗
Are you sure you wouldn't be happier just staying at home?
显然如此但这么做他不就得逞了
Obviously, but if I stay home...he wins.
内维尔到底对你做了什么才让你这样
What did Nevel do to make you like this,
我怎么学习才能达到他的水准
and how can I be more like him?
当他们还是小孩的时候
When they were kids,
内维尔给“爱卡莉”写了一则非常负面的评论
Nevel wrote a terrible review of "iCarly."
然后黑掉了她的网站还尝试强迫
Then hacked her website and tried to force Carly
卡莉和他接吻 -好几次
to kiss him. - Many times.
最糟糕的是他曾经在半圣节派对上
Worst of all, he trapped me in a robot costume
把我困在一套机器人服装里
for our Half-a-ween party.
那没有卡莉的遭遇那么惨
That's not worse then Carly's thing.
我一说出来就感觉不对了
I heard it as I said it.
等等难道这就是
Wait, is that why we all
我们在明天的婚礼上都得穿机器人正装的理由吗
have to wear robot formal to the wedding tomorrow?
不那是因为他痴迷于一款叫做
No. It's because he's obsessed with some game
《机器人崛起》的游戏
called "Robot Uprising."
天哪我真讨厌内维尔·帕珀曼
God, I hate Nevel Papperman.
我去拿几把雨伞
I'm going to grab some umbrellas.
我去把雷电发生器关掉
I'm going to turn off my thunder and lightning machine.
我太爱机器人主题的彩排晚宴了
I love a robot-themed rehearsal dinner.
科幻与浪漫的结合就像是重新经历一遍
Blending sci-fi and romance-- it's like experiencing
《机器人总动员》的剧情一样
"WALL-E" all over again.
捧个场就当我在讲笑话快笑啊
Laugh like I said something funny--laugh!
我们为什么要笑呢
Why are we laughing?
因为我要让内维尔
Because I want Nevel
听见我现在所感受到的喜悦
to hear what a wonderful time I'm having.
我现在快活着呢
I'm having a wonderful time.
那可真令人信服我需要一杯无酒精鸡尾酒
That's super convincing. I need a mocktail.
弗雷迪今天别离开我的视线
Freddie, you're with me.
我得留意你还有你那脆弱的小心脏
I've got to keep an eye on you and your tender heart.
雄性机器人雌性机器人还有非二元性别机器们
Robots, robotesses and nonbinary machines,
请欢迎最柔情的机器人
please welcome the most amorous androids,
普鲁内拉·皮茨与内维尔·帕珀曼
Prunella Pitz and Nevel Papperman.
卡莉·谢真高兴见到你
Carly Shay, so nice to see you.
我想你一定很后悔没和我在一起吧
I bet you rue the day you let me get away.
内维尔我无怨无悔很高兴来到这里
Oh, Nevel. I rue nothing. So happy to be here.
你能出席婚礼可真是勇敢毕竟你几个星期前
You are so brave to show your face at a wedding
才经历过一场让你尊严尽失的分手
just weeks after a humiliating break-up.
几个星期已经三个月了
Weeks? It's been three months.
还数着日子呢真是可悲
Counting the days-- how sad.
但是不要悲伤我已经找到了我的灵魂伴侣
But despair not, I found my soul mate.
或许某一天你也会找到你的
Maybe one day you'll find yours too.
话说回来普鲁内拉在哪儿我一直很想见见她
And where is Prunella? I've been dying to meet her.
相信任何肯嫁给你的女人都是万里挑一的极品
I'm sure anyone who would marry you is a real treasure.
卡莉·谢我的天哪
Carly Shay? Oh, my gosh.
我是普鲁内拉·皮茨很高兴见到你
Prunella Pitz, thrilled to meet you.
你知道吗你在主持频道的时候真是魅力无穷
You know, you are so charming on your channel.
我真的一直都在引用你的金句
I literally quote you all the time.
不是吗不是吗
Do I not? Do I not?
不管怎样你能出席我真的非常荣幸
Anyway, I am so honored that you're here,
而且容我补充一下不知为何你真人看起来要更有魅力
and might I add, somehow even more radiant in person.
该死的她还真是个极品
Damn it. She's a treasure.
呕一群异性恋
Ugh. The straights.
订婚新娘婚前派对单身汉
Engagement, bridal shower, bachelor,
单身女彩排晚宴婚礼婚后早午餐
bachelorette, rehearsal dinner, wedding, post-wedding brunch,
如果你没有举♥行♥七个派对
if you haven't had seven parties
去宣扬你对社会规范的服从
celebrating your conformity to social norms,
你又怎么算得上是结了婚呢
did you even get married?
在婚前派对的问题上我和你立场一致
I'm with you on the showers,
但彩排晚宴是有自己的庄严意义的
but rehearsal dinners hold a solemn purpose
那就是从参会者中挑出你想在婚礼上勾搭的人
to pick out who you want to hook up with at the wedding.
真遗憾那么多孤独的女人只能
I regret I have but one Spencer
共享一个斯宾塞的陪伴
to share with so many lonely women.
啊哈我可不吃你那套因为在这场婚礼上
Uh-huh. Not having it because at this wedding,
那些孤独的女人也有属于我的那部分
you'll be sharing the lonely women with me,
而我是毋庸置疑的婚礼搭讪女王
and I'm the undisputed queen of wedding hook-ups.
毋庸置疑我就在质疑
Undisputed? I dispute it.
你是在挑战我吗
Is that a challenge?
哈珀如果马克·马奎尔想在一场本垒打竞赛中
Oh, Harper, if Mark McGwire wanted a face-off
注：Mark McGwire是前全垒打记录的保持者
和人对决那算得上是挑战吗
in a home run derby, would that be a challenge?
看情况你的意思是
Depends. Are you saying
你用了魅力增强药物吗
you use performance-enhancing drugs?
行吧我们就看周末结束为止
All right. Let's see who gets the most phone numbers
谁能拿到最多的电♥话♥号♥码
by the end of the weekend,
到那时我们就知道谁才是真正的搭讪之王了
then we'll know who's the true hook-up king.
性别中立的君主
Gender-neutral monarch.
输家必须去赢家安排的一场约会
Winner plans a date that the loser has to go on.
成交等等这不公平
Bet. Wait, this is unfair.
你的目标对象是我的两倍因为你男女通吃
You have twice as many targets because you go both ways.
一直如此还有哈哈
Always, and--ha ha--
我知道你刚刚没有在暗示你异性恋的性取向
I know that you didn't just try to insinuate
成为了你在这次比赛中的劣势
that you're at a disadvantage because you're straight.
不我没有
No. I didn't. I thought so.
那也太疯狂了