爱卡莉（2021）

iCarly S01E03

Part 2 Nov. 26, 2021, 6:47 p.m.

当他说他有五个室友
"When he says he has five roommates."
当你发现卡♥通♥人物也可以很火♥辣♥
"when you realize cartoon characters can be hot."
这话倒是不假
Ooh, that's so true though.
两位这不好笑
You guys, it's not funny.
大家会认为你的呕吐表情是在评判我的作品
People think you're making that face about my art.
什么才不会呢
What? No.
你看那个恶心的肉丸
You can see the disgusting meatball
就在我手上呢
right there in my hand.
非要说的话我还给你的作品增色了
If anything, I'm highlighting your art.
你看今日趣闻上的这篇文章
Look at this article on QuackFeed.
他说别骂我
Okay, "Don't hate me,
但是这个肉丸表情包后面的雕塑
"but the artwork in the back of the Meatball Face meme
真的还不错
is actually kinda good."
半天才找到这个评价么
That's the best you could find?
仅仅是还不错么
Kinda good?
居然还是问句
With a question mark?
卡莉我的展览这周末就开幕了
Carly, my opening is this weekend,
结果大家只关心
and all people are talking about
我的剩饭和你的表情包
are my leftovers and your face.
好吧我理解
Okay, yeah. I hear you.
但是我才开始重启爱卡莉
But I just restarted "iCarly"
这些表情包对我的频道很有帮助
and these memes are really helping my channel.
你希望我怎么做
What do you want me to do?
你至少可以给我道个歉吧
The least you could do is apologize.
可是我没做错什么事啊
But I didn't do anything wrong.
真的吗
Didn't you?
好吧
Fine.
对不起伤害了你的感情
I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt.
我没想到你这么敏感
I didn't realize you were so sensitive.
你这阴阳怪气算什么啊
What kind of fauxpology was that?
阴阳怪气我爱了
Fauxpology? Love!
这个词用来配表情包正好
That is a perfect caption for Meatball Face.
没错当你被人阴阳怪气
Totally! "When you hear a fauxpology."
等等这个词怎么拼
Wait, how do you spell that?
你在开玩笑吗
Oh, you spell it R-U-kidding me?
斯宾塞你知道现在内卷有多严重
Spencer, you know how cutthroat it is out here.
全新的平台
All these new platforms
网红的年龄越来越小
and influencers getting younger and younger.
哈珀总是说
It's like Harper always says.
你得让那些碧池好看
"You gotta switch it up on a bitch!"
我以后再也不说那个词了
I'll never say that again.
很可爱啦你尽力了
It was cute though. You tried.
明天我可能就败给发霉的卷饼了
Tomorrow, I could be beaten by a moldy cannoli.
跳跳糖婴儿已经无人问津了
Pop Rocks baby is already in rehab.
行我知道了
All right. I get it.
只是不要再火上浇油了
Just don't add any more fuel to the fire.
闪亮登场
Ba-bam!
有谁想来件卡莉肉丸表情包T恤吗
Who wants a Carly meatball face T-shirt?
我的天啊这些衣服好可爱
Oh, my God, these are adorable.
就是啊
I know!
把自己的脸穿在身上会不会很傻
Is it gauche to wear your own face?
才不会你的脸看起来
No, your face is--
认真的吗
Seriously?
斯宾塞就像我和卡莉说过的
Spencer, it's like I told Carly.
只要有曝光就是好事
There's no such thing as bad publicity!
这个表情包对咱们都有好处
This meme is good for all of us.
你的名字被大家认识
You're getting your name out there.
我知道了那个做钥匙扣的家伙
I learned that my keychain guy
没有跟我玩失踪他只是去世了
isn't ghosting me, he's just dead.
再加上感受一下材质
Plus, feel the material.
哇好柔软
Oh wow, that is soft.
好吧
Fine.
我会穿上它睡觉仅此而已
I'll wear it to bed, and only that.
米莉森特你可以回家了
Millicent, you can come back now.
我妈终于结束把咱家带宽全用在
My mom is no longer using up all our bandwidth
和她基♥督♥教读书会的朋友视频聊天了
video-chatting with her Christian Book Club.
好啊因为我刚完成
Good, because I was just finishing
对你网络历史记录的审查
my timeline audit, on you.
什么
What?
我以为你在查卡莉的
I thought you were doing an audit on Carly.
查过了但是我只能找到
I was, but all I found were posts
她资助猫狗领养中心的博文
supporting puppy and cat adoption centers.
她是个圣人
She's a saint.
然而你却在施加网络暴♥力♥
You, on the other hand. Cyberbullying.
网络暴♥力♥ 对谁啊
Cyberbullying? Against who?
对我
Against me.
八年前下午3点47分你写过原句如下
Eight years ago at 3:47 p.M., you wrote, and I quote,
我永远永远永永远远都不想要孩子
"I never, ever, ever, ever, ever want kids.
永远
Ever!"
我在开玩笑
I was joking!
你后面说
Then you said,
如果你觉得我在开玩笑我才没有
"If you think I'm joking, I am not!"
好吧
Okay, wow.
我知道这话听起来很糟但是这是很久以前发的
I know that sounds bad, but this was from so long ago,
我写这条的时候可能还在穿卡骆驰洞洞鞋呢
I was probably wearing Crocs when I wrote it.
为什么你以前当过护士吗
Why? Did you use to be a nurse?
不是我只是喜欢
No, I just like a shoe
容易清洗配色有趣大胆的鞋子
that's easy to clean and comes in fun, bold colors.
米莉森特我很抱歉
Millicent, I'm sorry.
告诉我怎么才能补救
Tell me how I can make this right.
六罐装红羊功能饮料
A six-pack of Red Lamb energy drink.
红羊里面全是咖♥啡♥因♥和糖
Red Lamb? That's just caffeine and sugar.
还有让红羊好喝的食用色素红色5号♥
And red food dye number five. That's what makes it delicious.
你不能喝那个对小孩不好
You can't drink that. It's not good for kids.
感情创伤也对小孩不好然而
Emotional trauma isn't good for kids either, and yet...
原味还是蕉香辉映味
Regular or Banana Blast?
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
斯宾塞·谢我是你的粉丝
Spencer Shay. I'm such a fan.
太好了
Oh, that's so sweet!
因为作品被认出来的感觉真好
It's nice to be recognized for one's work.
你是肉丸表情包里的哥哥 -还有这个
You're meatball brother. - Uh-huh. Also that.
我叫薇洛
I'm Willow.
我在运营一个超人气的食品艺术
I run a super popular food art Insta
Instagram账号♥ 人不如其食
called "You Aren't What You Eat.
开玩笑的当然如
Just Kidding, You Are."
食品艺术
Wow, food art?
所以像是用食物做出引人深思的雕塑作品或者
So, like, thought-provoking sculptures using food or--
不是我给我的午饭拍照
No, I take pictures of what I eat for lunch.
我在这个艺术馆办过六个展出
I've had six shows at this gallery.
我在这儿也有一个展出现在这个
Oh, I've got a show here too. Just the one.
你也是个艺术家啊
Oh, you're an artist too?
真可爱
Cute.
等等让我来
Wait. Let me just--
说“肉丸”
Oh. Say, "meatball!"
啊不
Ahh, no!
我才不会哭呢
I am not gonna cry.
你知道吗我要哭了
You know what? I'm gonna cry.
不好意思
Sorry.
是吗你真觉得不好意思吗
Oh, are you? Are you sorry?
我才不好意思
Well, I'm sorry!
我不好意思活在耽于表情包的文化里
Sorry I live in a culture that's so obsessed with memes
还有点赞虚假艺术虚假道歉和
and likes and fake art and fake apologies and--
我有主意了
I've got an idea.
我重生了
I am reborn!
没错我能对人产生这种影响
Yeah. I have that effect on people.
米莉森特看看这个
Millicent, check it out.
卡莉肉丸表情包T恤
Carly meatball face T-shirts.
市场价40美元给你友情价39.99美元
They're $40. But for you, $39.99.
我宁愿穿用头发做成的衣服
I'd rather wear a shirt made out of human hair.
再说了我根本不需要你那点折扣
Besides, I don't need your flimsy discount.