含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here
第一季
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含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here S01E10
Part 1
May 7, 2021, 2:49 p.m.
《我为喜剧生》前情提要
Previously on I'm Dying Up Here...
合适的护肩应该是平滑的
A well-fitted shoulder lies flat!
-狗♥日♥的♥臭逼玩意儿 -这是你的笑话
- That motherfucker. - That's your joke.
我希望你能给我写更多段子
I want you to write more stuff for me.
这个俱乐部是唯一能通往"今夜秀"的桥梁
This club is the only runway to Carson.
有一件事倒是越来越明朗了 我不再有趣了
One thing's a little clearer-- I'm not funny anymore.
随你怎么说 黑鬼
Whatever, nigga.
我警告你永远不要这样叫我
You don't ever get to call me that.
你是谁 你说什么
What are you? Excuse me?
我根本不知道你到底是谁
I have no idea what the fuck you are.
你要上电视了 这可是大事 哥们
You're gonna be on TV. That's huge, man.
你可以在西奥多国王酒吧打头牌
You could be headlining at King Theodore's.
你出逼了
You were in the trades?
"女孩也幽默"官宣了
"Girls Are Funny Too" was announced.
剪掉单口喜剧
Cut the stand-up?
单口喜剧就是这个节目的全部
Stand-up is what this show is about.
你被解雇了 戈尔迪
You're fired, Goldie.
我为喜剧亡
/
生
第一季 第十集[本季终]
埃德加 为了十块钱你就要跳槽
Edgar, ten bucks. You're gonna jump ship for ten bucks?
盖比一周上六次台
Gabe is going up six nights a week.
就是60块 还是现金
That's 60 bucks, cash.
那是盖比 盖比那么烂
That's Gabe. Gabe's a hack.
现在连米奇也开始表演了
Yeah, plus, Mitch is showing up now.
说到泰迪俱乐部...
Something else about Teddy's--
巴顿·罗伊斯那个混♥蛋♥也在那儿
That motherfucker Barton Royce is over there.
这人坏得很
Man is no good.
如果我们都去那边 她打算怎么办
If enough of us go up, what's she gonna do?
她最后肯定会答应
She's got to let us play
-让我们两头跑的 -还要付我们薪水
- both clubs eventually. - And--and--and she has to pay.
几个人搞搞背叛
A few defections,
你们以为就能让戈尔迪屈服吗
and you think suddenly Goldie's just gonna drop to her knees?
全国各地的喜剧演员来到洛杉矶
Comics from all over the country come here
-都是为了登上戈尔迪的舞台 -每天如此
- to Los Angeles to go up at Goldie's. - Every day.
我不想打碎你们的美梦
I hate to burst your bubble,
可我们还没那么大牌
But we're just funny widgets.
去他妈的薪水
Fuck the money.
西奥多国王俱乐部的米奇重新定义了规则
Mitch at King Theodore's is a game changer.
垄断已经成为过去式
It's not a monopoly anymore.
可泰迪那里从没有人
Yeah, but nobody from Teddy's
被"今夜秀"瞧上过
has been picked to go up on Carson.
可只要有一个人就能改变这一切
And it only takes one!
但你不是那个人 萨利
And you're not the one, Sully.
说实话 戈尔迪俱乐部的人
Truth be told, it's not like
也有好长一段时间没有上"今夜秀"了
anybody from Goldie's has been on Carson in a while neither.
找到你们了
There you are.
我跟你们说过多少次宵禁的事情了
How many times have I told you girls about curfew?
这里是好莱坞
This is Hollywood.
到处都是狼
There are wolves everywhere.
天啊
Oh, God.
-怎么回事 -你们继续拍
- What the hell? - Don't let me stop you.
-拜托 -卡
- Aw, come on. - Cut.
-马蒂 - 现在不适合
- Marty, Marty-- - This is not the time
-说这些 -马蒂 让我跟她谈
- or place. - Marty, let me,
-行吗 -不 我们一周内必须拍完
- will you, please? - No, we shoot in less than a week.
不是吧 你是想毁了这档节目吗
Really? You want to burn the television bridge?
这是自杀行为 你心里清楚
This is suicide, and you know it.
自杀也好过受刑 让开 伊莱
Beats a lynching. Get out of my way, Eli.
天啊 这比我想得还要垃圾
My God, this is worse than I thought.
你们觉得自己现在蠢不蠢
How ridiculous do you feel, huh?
说实话 他们告诉你们了吗
Honestly, have-- have they even told you?
我已经被炒了 听说了吗
I have been fired. Hmm?
他们说你是顾问
They said you were consulting.
这群懦夫就是这么跟你们说的吗
Was that the word these cowards used?
不 我是被炒了 他们甩掉了我
No, fired. They got rid of me
好让你们在这里
So that they could manipulate you
不受保护 任人操纵
Without anybody here to protect you.
戈尔迪 这正是我们开除你的原因
Goldie, that's exactly why we fired you,
以便我们能操控这些女孩
so that we could manipulate these girls
获得千载难逢的机遇
into the opportunity of a lifetime.
昨晚我翻来覆去怎么也睡不着
I was tossing and turning all night long.
今早醒来才意识到
I woke up this morning, and I realized
我最优秀的喜剧女演员...
my best female comics that--
他们让你做单口喜剧了吗 艾兰恩
Do they even let you do any stand-up, Elayne?
说过一句吗 完全没有吧
One line of stand-up? Nothing? Anywhere?
这要怎么证明我们和男人一样风趣
How does this prove we are as funny as men?
这只能证明我们就是他们眼里
All this proves is we are the fucking sheep
任人摆布的小绵羊
they think we are.
这就是他所说的千载难逢的
This is the opportunity of a lifetime
好机会
he's talking about.
走吧 姑娘们 我们回戈尔迪俱乐部
Come on, girls, we'll come back to Goldie's.
去做真正的喜剧
We'll do some real fucking humor.
走
Come on!
你给我站住
Stay right there!
戈尔迪 我们签过合同
Goldie, we've got a contract.
我们会告你的
We will sue your ass!
那就告啊 我的律师就在...
So sue me. You got my lawyer standing right--
老天
Oh, jeez.
-离我远点 -操♥你♥妈♥ 什么人
- Get the fuck away from me. - Fuck this. God--
-天啊 -戈尔迪 你还好吗
- God. - Goldie, are you okay?
-你还好吧 -我没事
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
走吧 姑娘们 我们走
Come on, girls. Come on, let's go.
妈♥个♥鸡
God damn it.
准备第15次拍摄
Take 15, everybody.
那个高个去哪儿了
Where's that tall one?
那个高个 你 你站到这里
Where's the tall one? You. You should be up there.
一群傻♥逼♥ 这就是和一群
Fucking morons. That's what you get
不知道自己在干什么的人一起工作的下场
for working with people don't know what the fuck they're doing.
老天爷
For Christ's sake.
天啊
Jesus.
他们不懂我们想做什么
They have no idea what we're trying to do.
难道这不就是我们想做的吗
Isn't this what we're trying to do?
在你的俱乐部表演 上"今夜秀"
You, Carson, isn't it all
不正是为了这一切吗
so we can get to this?
如果你的"这一切"是指这套破戏服
If by "this," you mean this idiotic outfit
做那些你自己都不相信的所谓喜剧
and doing so-called comedy you don't believe in.
戈尔迪 他们给我的薪水
Goldie, they're giving me more money
比我这辈子见到的都还多
than I've ever seen in my entire life
还能让我在上百万观众面前表演
while putting me in front of millions of people.
是你带我来到这里 让我改变风格
You brought me here, you changed my act,
还告诉我这是我的机会
and you told me that this was my ticket.
现在你被开除了
Now you got fired, and...
还要让我继续跟随你吗
I'm supposed to follow you again?
去哪里
Where?
你要去哪里
Where are you going?
只有一种方法能找到答案
Well, there's one way to find out.
我在东部的一个朋友
So, a friend of mine from back east
最近从理发师学院毕业了
recently graduated from, uh, barber college.
理发师学院
Barber college.
这名头是不是有点装逼啊
Now, isn't that just a little pretentious?
医生们上的也不过是医师学校
I mean, even doctors only go to med school,
可是一个教你剪头发的一年课程
but somehow a one-year course on how to cut hair
就能冠上"学院"这个名号♥了
requires the word "college" after it, right?
就好像修那几根毛
like, the degree of difficulty
和开胸做心脏手术
between a shag haircut and open heart surgery
差得也没多远
is just that much more.
我觉得他们唯一的相似点就是
I know, the only thing the two have in common
都非常容易失败
are high instances of malpractice.
扎心了
Shim sham!
好的各位听众 这里是肯尼早间节目
All right, everybody, this is Kenny In The AM,
含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here
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