含笑台上（2017）

I'm Dying Up Here S01E05

Part 9 May 7, 2021, 2:47 p.m.

So you know who I...
是啊我知道你是谁
Yeah. Yeah, I know who you are.
现在这里的人都知道了
And now everybody else here does too.
你看我知道你来这里是为了隐蔽
Look, you come here to not be seen
所以你肯定不想把事情闹大
so won't make too much sense to make one.
怎样
You dig?
能把裤子给我吗
Will you give me my trousers, please?
好
Yeah.
好了女士们回去继续...
All right, ladies, back to your...
做模特吧
modeling.
我看到今晚来了很多年轻的面孔
I'm seeing a lot of young faces here tonight.
对我来说我等不及变老了
Uh, personally, I-I can't wait to get old.
我小时候就这样
I-I been that way since I was little too.
很多孩子你们知道一直想变成18岁
Most kids, you know, they can't wait to turn 18
这样他们就能喝酒开车...或者做♥爱♥
so they can drink or drive or... have sex.
我不是我想变成80岁
Not me. No, I wanted to be 80.
我想要坐在我的前门走廊上
You know, I wanted nothing more than to sit on my front porch...
不拉裤链
...fly undone...
欣赏一盒子被小孩子们打进我院子的球
...admiring a box of balls that kids hit into my yard
我可不准备还回去
that I wasn't planning on giving back.
你们懂吧
You know?
所以...总之...80岁...
So, uh, anyway, 80 is--
有没有人给介绍一下今日特餐
Hey, can somebody tell us what the specials are?
稍等一下服务员马上就过去为您服务
If you just wait a sec, your waitress will help you.
你也是这里的服务员吧
You're a waitress here, aren't you?
你肯定不是喜剧演员
You're sure as fuck not a comedian.
比尔别这样
Hey, Bill, don't do this.
怎么了
Do what?
我打断他不让大家
Do everyone a favor by interrupting
再听这些破烂玩意
so they don't have to endure whatever the fuck
难道不是在帮忙吗
this is supposed to be?
说得好
That was a good one.
抱歉大家伙这位是比尔·霍布斯
I'm sorry, folks. This is Bill Hobbs.
你们可能从...
You might know him from...
对了他们为什么会认识你呢比尔
actually, why would they know you, Bill?
还是说今日特餐吧比你的笑话好多了
Stick to the specials. It's better than your material.
感觉也就一般般吧
That was like a B-minus.
我能说两句吗
Hey, can I go up?
这位是埃迪·赛德尔女士们先生们
Eddie Zeidel, ladies and gentlemen.
那天有一对夫妻来这里
You know, there was a couple in here the other day.
他们在一起53年了
They'd been together for 53 years.
很甜蜜吧
Which, uh, is pretty sweet.
或许对他们来说
Maybe. In their case.
但对我们大部分人来说
But for most of us,
我们的恋爱我觉得不是
our relationships, I think, are less
终身承诺而是一种
lifelong commitments and more
懒惰和坏习惯
laziness and bad habit.
更好的人生在
The telephone of a better life
疯狂向我们招手
is just ringing off the hook,
可我们却懒到不愿意改变现状
and we're too lazy to get up and pick up the phone.
喂
Hello?
什么
Oh, what,
有人想约我出去约会
guy that, uh, wants to actually take me out on a date?
去外面约会吗
Like outside-of-the-house date?
我得晚点再打给你
Well, I'm gonna have to get back to you, 'cause
因为我忙着坐在舒服的沙发上
I'm really busy right now sitting on my comfortable couch
和我冷淡的男朋友
with my lukewarm boyfriend watching cartoons
在边看卡♥通♥边打着不得已的炮
in between rounds of ambivalent sex.
一个认为我很幽默
Hey, guy that thinks I'm hilarious
不会害怕我比他成功的男人
and isn't threatened by my success.
我很想跟你出去
I would, uh, love to go out with you,
可我要好好审视一下自己
but then I'd have to really take a good hard look at myself
为什么总跟让我难过的男人约会
and why I keep dating people that make me feel like shit.
再见
Bye.
这次会是谁呢
Who could this be?
喂
Hello?
什么
What?
懂我的人
Guy who hears me?
谁能真的懂我呢
Who really hears me?
不好意思我必须要接这个电♥话♥
Well, I'm just gonna have to take this call.
你能等一下吗
Um, can you just hold on for one second?
有点事...
There's just something that I...
我得先处理好
...gotta take care of before we continue.
比尔我们结束了
Bill, it's over.
回家吧
Go home.
我觉得我今天发明了"抓马开麦夜"
Well, I think I just invented open drama mic night.
谁知道会发生这种事呢...
Yeah, well, if anybody had it coming...
我这么坚持
There's got to be a reason I keep
一定有我的原因
sticking my chin out there.
科雷不是那样的存在吧
Clay wasn't like that, right?
他也曾是我的习惯
He was a habit too.
可爱的习惯
A lovely habit,
但也只是习惯而已
but still a habit.
我们去自驾游吧
We should go on a road trip, man.
开着车...
Just get in the car and...
去哪儿我们去哪儿
Where? Where we gonna go?
去个没人知道我他妈是谁的地方
Oh, someplace where nobody knows who the fuck I am.
那我们都不用离开洛杉矶了
We don't have to leave Los Angeles to do that.
停马路对面就行了
We can just park across the street.
我今天丢脸丢大发了埃德加
I'm getting my ass kicked, Edgar.
虽然我现在也该习惯了可是...
I should be used to it by now, but...
你知道吗
You know, man,
你其实不错了
you're--you're--you're close.
很接近了
You're really close.
就是...
You just...
就是别再把事情搞砸了
You just gotta stop fucking up.
明白吗
All right?
我有个...
I had this...
数学老师
...math teacher.
他说过没有什么会真的相交
He said that nothing ever really touches.
比如你拿个物件
That, like, you could take an object
无数次地拿刀切它
and cut it infinite times.
两端越来越接近
It gets closer and closer,
但永远不可能合二为一
but it never touches.
或许那就是我
Maybe that's me.
我不管我有多接近一种状态
No matter how close I get to anything,
我永远都不会做到
I'm never gonna touch it.
我就说这东西够劲吧
I told you this is good shit.
我要上厕所
I gotta take a piss.
我进去了
Can I just go inside?
我也去
Me too.
哥们
Hey, man,
或许你不用进去
maybe you don't have to go inside.
我不是数学家
I'm no mathematician,
但我肯定我是尿到小闪的坟墓上了
but I'm pretty sure my piss is touching Sparky's grave.
我不想扫兴
And I don't wanna be a buzzkill,
我冲着好多坟墓撒过尿
but of all the graves I've pissed on,
这次是最不让我兴奋的一次
this has got to be the least satisfying.
你们在干什么呢
What the fuck are you doing?
爸
Dad.
爸别这样
Dad, please.
你给我滚开
Get the fuck away from me!
爸
Dad.
爸你在做什么
Dad, what are you doing?
你就这么恨我吗
You hate me this much?
我不恨你
I don't hate you.
爸别这样
Dad, come on.
我怎么会有你这种儿子
You're a sad fucking excuse for a son.
拿上你的东西
Get your stuff.
我们走
We're going.
你在生气我去参加戒酒会没去熟食店吗