含笑台上（2017）

I'm Dying Up Here S01E07

Part 3 May 7, 2021, 2:48 p.m.

late or loaded,
CMA都会罩着你的尼克
CMA has got your back, Nick.
真的
Seriously.
我已经苦够了
Late and loaded, I got.
不如我们一起发财出名吧
So why don't we go with rich and famous, huh?
没问题
Speaking my language.
悉听尊便
Your wish is my command.
我打算早点走
Hey, I'm gonna hit the road early.
七点钟出发
7 a.m. sharp.
听到了吗
You hear me?
嗯七点整
Yeah. 7 a.m. sharp.
也就是说八点才能准备好吧
So that means, what, you'll be ready by 8?
八点一刻我还没整理行李
8:15. I still haven't packed.
对哦你要给桑尼和雪儿做开场
Oh, yeah. It's your Sonny and Cher gig.
没错赌城四场全部售罄
Yeah, baby, four sold-out shows in Vegas.
其实就是个无聊的白人♥大♥聚会
It's like a boring white people convention.
我要是真全部开场做下来
Yeah, but I'm gonna be yawning all the way to the bank
那肯定得哈欠连天了
at a grand a gig to open for those two.
带我去赌城吧我也想出去转转
Bring me to Vegas. I'd be nice to get away.
埃德加求了我半天好不容易才当上了司机
Well, Edgar already wormed his way into driving.
我才不是为了开车呢好不好
I didn't worm my way into driving, okay?
你这话说的就跟
That's like saying somebody wormed
有人要求着你给你刷墙一样
their way into painting your apartment.
白住凯撒酒店
Comped room at Caesar's?
还能白吃白喝
All the food and drink you can handle?
你就是心甘情愿跪舔你心里清楚
You a motherfucking worm, and you know it.
好像是有点
It's a little wormy.
如果你真的要去
First of all, if you go anyway,
打算跟谁一起睡
which bed you gonna sleep in?
和我还是埃德加
Mine or Edgar's?
给你介绍个混球
Here's a funny prick you want to know.
这位是比尔·霍布斯这位是CMA的迈尔斯·法伯
Bill Hobbs, Miles Farber, CMA.
比尔·霍布斯认识认识
Bill Hobbs, yeah. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.
我看过你的表演很喜欢
I seen your stuff. I'm a big fan.
真的
Seriously.
我们很早以前就见过
Yeah, we've already met.
你当时拒绝签我
When you passed on repping me.
这样啊抱歉
Uh, yeah, sorry,
我通常是能记住脸的
I usually don't forget a face.
别了你还是忘了我的脸吧
No, please, forget this one.
这样等我一年后上了《今夜秀》
That way, a year from now after I've been on Carson
就能等着你回来舔我的大屌♥
and you come crawling back to suck my cock,
再让你有多远滚多远了
I can tell you to go fuck yourself.
真的
Seriously.
就说是混球吧
I did say prick.
戈尔迪
You know, Goldie,
我一直很喜欢你的俱乐部
I've always liked your club.
有点像我老爸当年开的馆子
Something about it reminds me of my daddy's place.
培养了那么多人才
Yeah, all the talent that's come through here.
只不过他培养的是柯曼·霍金斯
Only instead of, uh, Coleman Hawkins
和塞隆尼斯·蒙克
and Thelonious Monk,
而你培养的是理查德和卡琳
now it's Richard and Carlin.
异曲同工
Different music, but same energy.
谢谢夸奖巴顿你有什么指教吗
That's lovely, Barton. You got something on your mind?
-亚当·普罗托 -怎么了
- Adam Proteau. - What about him?
我只是在想
I'm just wondering,
把他藏在你的"地窖"里到底明不明智
is it wise you hiding him in your cellar is all?
凯尔是个负责的经纪人
Carl is a good manager.
他本来把那孩子照顾得很好
And he was taking care of that kid.
可你却跑出来多管闲事
Till you whispered in his ear.
别怪到我的头上
Nobody's casting aspersions.
是他自己做的决定
Boy made his own decisions.
那你现在和他什么关系
So what are you to him now?
朋友
A friend.
不涉及金钱
No financial entanglements.
只是他的天赋太过突出
Just seems obvious, so much talent.
手里有这样一个天才梵高
And look, when you got a Van Gogh,
怎么能把他埋没在"地窖"里
you don't hang it in the cellar.
那他也是我的梵高我想埋哪儿就埋哪儿
It's my Van Gogh. I'll hang it wherever the fuck I want.
巴顿我知道你很会拉客
Look, Barton, I'm sure you're a hell of a pimp,
但你休想来我的底盘
but don't ever come into my club
告诉我该怎么培养我手里的孩子
and tell me how to handle my kids.
去干♥你♥最擅长的
Stick to what you know--
搞普莱尔去吧
racketeering and getting Pryor laid.
别骗自己了戈尔迪
Don't fool yourself, Goldie.
你和我也没什么不同
We're both pimps.
只不过我手里的人能赚到钱罢了
Only my whores get paid.
我最近一直在努力改过自新
So I've been making the amend rounds lately.
坚持了八周我已经达到良好了
Uh, it's been about eight weeks, and I'm up to the Cs now.
-等笑声 -不是吧
- Hold for laughs. - Really?
至少我的听众想走就能走
You know what? A-at least my audience can get up and leave;
可你的还必须得吃完
yours are trapped till they finish
那个叫不上名字的香肠套餐
their unpronounceable sausage specials.
为了练段子假装酒鬼
Don't you feel bad pretending to be an alcoholic
你都不害臊的吗
just to work on your material?
你认真的吗
Are you kidding?
他们讲的故事都跟老太太的裹脚布一样
It's like one country song after another in there.
而我能为他们提供喜剧的调剂
Trust me, I'm providing much-needed comic relief.
再说我现在还当上了门卫
Besides I gotta up my game now that I'm a door guy.
戈尔迪对门卫很好的
I mean, Goldie gives those guys special treatment.
还让他们自己挑开麦夜的出场时间
They get to pick their own spots at open-mic night,
她一定会看到我的
so she's bound to see me.
等到那时候我就等着上《今日秀》了
And when she does... Carson, here I come.
别做白日梦了
Hold for the amazing lack of self-awareness.
等一年后我跟约翰尼一起打上高尔夫
A year from now when me and Johnny are playing golf together,
你想起现在对我说的话
I want you to think back on this moment
就会明白我为什么不让你当球童了
when you wonder why I never ask you to caddie.
好了多谢来电莎伦
All right, thanks for that call, Sharon.
你们也都听到了
Now, you heard her, folks.
如果你们喜欢漏斗蛋糕或是宠物动物园
If you like funnel cakes, if you like petting zoos,
可一定得抓紧时间了
you are running out of time!
还剩最后一个周末
This is the final weekend,
快快前往洛杉矶集市吧
so head on over to that L.A. County Fair!
不要走开这里是肯尼早间电台
Stay tuned, everybody this is Kenny in the AM.
*Ever since I was a young boy*
*I was jumping to Chuck Berry almost every single day*
*But Daddy told me son that stuff will*
*Go right to your head*
*But Daddy didn't know it got me flying like a jet*
*And I've got oh-ooh-ooh*
*Rock and roll f'ever*
*All right*
*Rock and roll f'ever*
*Really put me there in the spotlight, yeah*
*Rock and roll f'ever...*
大家好我是肯尼·维西
All right, Kenny Vesey, everybody,
今天我们肯尼早间电台请到了尼克·贝弗利
and we're talking to Nick Beverly on Kenny in the AM!
*起床咯*
*Wake up*
爽死老子了
Man, biscuit!
不知道大家知不知道
Now, I don't know how many of you caught it,
尼克可是上过《今夜秀》的
but Nick was on The Tonight Show.
也就才一周以前的事吧感觉如何
What was that, about a week ago? How'd that go?
很不错
It was incredible.
埃德的口臭到底有多严重
How bad was Ed's breath?
我之前上节目的时候他能把患了鼻炎的人
Because when I was on, he could have knocked a buzzard off a
给熏死
wagon!
简直难以忍♥受
It was so bad...
我离得不够近
Yeah, I can't say I got that close,
不过约翰尼身上倒很香
but Johnny smelled delightful.
要是有他那个味道的车用清新剂我肯定买♥♥
I'd like to find a car freshener that smells just like Johnny.
好吧说起车来
All right. Speaking of cars,
是时候了解一下今日路况及天气了
it's time for KROQ's traffic and weather
这里是肯尼早间电台
on Kenny in the AM!
*路况及天气*
*Traffic and weather*
我不是很信
I'm just not totally sold.
你♥他♥妈♥是弱智吗
Are you a fuckin' idiot?