含笑台上（2017）

I'm Dying Up Here S01E07

Part 7 May 7, 2021, 2:48 p.m.

'cause the Sox were getting creamed
特别还是被洋基队
by the fucking Yankees no less.
然后他变得越来越生气
And he just keeps getting madder and madder.
所以我看着他说 "爸爸
And so I look at him and I say, "Hey, Dad.
你管一个拿着棒球棒穿着宽松条纹装的
What do you call a New Yorker with a baseball bat
纽约人叫什么
who's covered in baggy pinstripes?
一坨屎"
A piece of shit."
显然这不是我最好的笑话但是...
Admittedly, it's not my A material, but...
这依然是我最喜欢的
it's still my favorite.
为什么呢
And why is that?
因为那是我第一次让我老爸笑了
'Cause it was the first time I ever made my old man laugh.
是啊
Yeah.
笑话是神圣不可侵犯的
Jokes are sacrosanct
因为它们从来都不仅仅是笑话
because they're never just jokes, you know?
其中总是有你的影子
You are always in there somewhere.
你真♥他♥妈♥严肃
You are one serious fucker.
这没什么
Oh, that's nothin'.
等你听完我"敲门"笑话的论文再说吧
Wait till you hear my dissertation on knock-knock jokes.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
-敲敲门 -是谁
- Knock knock. - Who's there?
-尼采 -哪个尼采
- Nietzsche. - Nietzsche who?
算了别回答了有什么意义
Eh, fuck it, don't answer, what's the point?
生命没固有的意义和价值
Life has no intrinsic meaning or value.
很抱歉打扰你了
I'm sorry I bothered you.
你总是能让我笑
You always make me laugh.
这是我的负担
Well, it's my burden.
你是个很棒的朋友埃迪
You're a good friend, Eddie.
你也是
Yeah, you too.
那是什么
What's that?
爱心包裹吗
Care package?
我妈寄来的
From my mom.
一些这里买♥♥不到的家乡特产
Stuff from back home you can't get out here.
你吃这个
You eat this?
是啊用在面包上
Yep. On bread.
和花生酱混一起叫做"坚果粉碎机"
Mix it with peanut butter, it's called a "Fluffernutter."
你还好吗小罗
You okay, Ronnie?
-你看起来有些 -不高兴
- You seem a little-- - Down?
阴郁
Pussy-ish.
谢谢玛姬
Thanks, Maggie.
说真的
Seriously.
你应该和小孩子共事
You should work with children.
还在介意昨晚的事呢
Is this still about last night?
你演砸了别纠结了
You bombed. Move on already.
玛姬我不只是演砸了
Maggie, I didn't just bomb.
我在他妈的戈尔迪面前演砸了
I bombed in front of fucking Goldie,
唯一你♥他♥妈♥不能在他眼前演砸的人
the one fucking person that you can't bomb in front of!
好了好了冷静点
Whoa, whoa, take it down a notch.
我又不是昨晚搞砸的那个人
I'm not the one who sucked last night.
你知道吗玛姬
You know what, Mags?
操♥你♥大♥爷♥
Fuck you.
你知道还有啥吗
You know what else?
你下回吃早饭的时候能像正常人一样
Why don't you wear some fucking pants to breakfast
穿条裤子吗
like a normal person, okay?
因为我们知道
'Cause we get it.
你有个阴♥道♥
You have a vagina.
逗我呢
Really?
你联♥系♥上桑尼·布埃诺了吗
Hey, you get through to Sonny Bueno?
他们在排练
They're at rehearsal.
抱歉老兄
Sorry, man.
我真希望你能让咱们出去
I was--I was really hoping you'd get us sprung
因为我得拉屎
because I gotta take a shit,
我不能在公众场合拉屎想都别想
and I can't take a shit in public, no fucking way.
我是说你不会明白的
I mean, y- You wouldn't understand
因为像你这样的人在哪都能拉屎对吧
'cause a guy like you can take a dump anywhere, right?
我真的很嫉妒
I truly envy that.
那是什么感觉埃德加
What's it like, Edgar?
沉浸在自我的世界里以致于你不在乎
Being so wrapped up in yourself that you don't give a fuck
其他人
about anybody else?
我在乎其他人
I care about people.
你♥他♥妈♥除了你自己
Who do you give a motherfucking two shits about
还在乎过谁
other than yourself?
我在乎我的朋友
I care about my friends.
什么朋友
What friends?
买♥♥你毒品的家伙
The people you sell drugs to?
那些叫"顾客"
Those are customers.
你♥他♥妈♥没有朋友
You don't have any fucking friends.
拉尔夫
Ralph,
我搞砸了好吗
I fucked up, okay?
但是这不意味着我不在乎别人
But that does not mean I don't care about people.
你知道我们以前在军队里管
You know what we used to call motherfuckers
你这种混♥蛋♥叫什么吗
like you in the army?
"杰克"
"Jack."
这种表示蔑视的特殊称号♥是
That's a special term of contempt
留给那些
reserved for those
只关心自己而不在乎同僚的人
who only look out for themselves and not their mates.
那人就是你埃德加
That's you, Edgar.
你就是个彻头彻尾的"杰克"混♥蛋♥
A Jack motherfucker, through and through.
拉尔夫
Ralph.
真的很对不起老兄
I am so fucking sorry, man.
他妈的离我远点
Get the fuck away from me.
你♥他♥妈♥的把...
Get your ass in a fucking
快住手
Knock it off!
都给我住手
Both of you!
没事的警官
It's all right, Officer.
越南老兵的后遗症
Think it's a Vietnam thing.
你在那服过役
You tour there?
两次
Twice.
哪个部队的
Who you with?
第75师突击步兵
75th Infantry Rangers.
拉尔夫·卡内基军士长第三连
Sergeant Major Ralph Carnegie, Company C.
杰利·巴恩戴尔中士
Sergeant Jerry Barnsdale.
远程侦察巡逻队的
Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol.
搜寻追踪击杀
Find 'em, track 'em, kill 'em.
这是怎么回事军士长
What happened here, Sergeant?
在错误的时间错误的地点
Wrong place, wrong time,
上了一辆错误的车
wrong person to get a fucking ride from.
没错警官
He's right, Officer.
他跟这事没有关系
He did not have anything to do with this, okay?
他是个喜剧演员
He's a comedian,
他要去参加《桑尼和雪儿》的演出
he's gonna open for Sonny and Cher.
他几乎不喝酒
He barely drinks alcohol.
你怎么做到的
How'd you pull that off?
有没人跟你说过你真是个废物
Anyone ever tell you you're a real piece of shit?
有多得数不过来
Yeah. I stopped counting.
你们的文件还没有开始处理
We haven't processed you yet.
如果现在放了你们
If you were released now,
就像什么事都没发生过
it's like it never happened.
真的吗
You serious?
这样我就能去表演了
I mean, I can make my gig.
但他不能走
This offer doesn't extend to him.
我没意见
I'm good with that.
拉尔夫拉尔夫
Ralph, Ralph.
是我提了你去越南服役的事
It was me bringing up your Vietnam shit
你才能出去
that got you out of here.
拜托你得...
Come on, you gotta--
你得找人来救我拉尔夫
you gotta get somebody, Ralph.
别把我留在这儿
Don't leave me in here.
拉尔夫求你了拜托
Ralph, please, come on, Ralph.
你自力更生吧 "杰克"
You're on your own, Jack.
我请你喝杯酒水手
Buy you a drink, sailor?
不会吧又来了