含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here
第一季
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含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here S01E07
Part 9
May 7, 2021, 2:48 p.m.
你真觉得自己比我有趣吗
You really think you're funnier than me?
泽普鲁德的电影都比你有意思 尼克
The fucking Zapruder film is funnier than you, Nick.
真的吗
Really?
我一直觉得开头有点冗长乏味
'Cause I always thought the beginning kind of meandered.
打扰一下 多丽丝
Excuse me, uh, Doris?
能帮我们解决件事吗
Would you solve something for us?
我俩分别给你讲个笑话
If we both tell you a joke,
你能告诉我们谁更有趣吗
will you let us know who's funniest?
谁买♥♥单
Who's paying?
那就是他了
He is.
她才是最有趣的
She's the funniest.
我跟你说过我给车装了个新的收音机
I told you I got a new tranny for my car.
"tranny"也有异装癖的意思
我不知道现在都把这东西装车外面了
Yeah, I didn't know they were putting them on the outside now.
-可不是吗 -蓝眼睛帅哥
- Yeah, they are. - Hey, blue eyes.
缺个约会对象吗
You looking for a date?
不用了 不过还是谢谢你 阴囊·奥尼尔
Oh-ho, I'm all set, but thank you, Scrotum O'Neil.
我很喜欢《纸月亮》 你还挺有趣
I loved Paper Moon. You funny.
两战两胜了 宝贝
Ooh, two for two, baby.
这他妈算什么有趣 现在约我
That's not fucking funny-- Ask me on a date.
想跟我约会吗 红毛
Oh, you want a date, Red?
我也想 不过我告诉过自己
You know what? I would, but I promised myself
我不能再跟一个老二比我还大的女人
I would not get involved with another woman
扯上关系
whose cock is bigger than mine.
-有意思 -女士们
- Good one. - Hey, all beef,
如果我想花二十块找人爆菊
if I wanted to pay 20 bucks to get fucked in the ass,
还不如买♥♥张票去"罗根斯与马西纳"的演唱会
I'd just buy a ticket to a Loggins and Messina concert.
我确实很想跟你约会
Yeah, I do want to take you out on a date.
我们俩去好莱坞免费诊所找个安静位子
Me, you, and a quiet table at the Hollywood free clinic.
你觉得怎么样
What do you say, huh?
不喜欢吗
No?
我觉得很好笑啊
I mean, I thought that was funny.
-谢了哥们 -不客气
- Thanks, man. Yeah. - Yeah.
如果你们想不带感情的打一炮
Hey, if it's a loveless fuck you're looking for,
或许是时候打电♥话♥让你老爸回来了
maybe it's time you finally call your father back.
操
Shit.
他在说你♥爸♥呢
That's your daddy he's talking about.
好了 别说了 你们俩都很有趣
Okay, okay, stop. You both funny.
我们知道我们都很有趣 但谁更有趣一点
Yeah, we know we're both funny, but who's funnier?
我觉得
Well, shit,
这个吸毒哥更有趣
junkie's the funniest, I guess.
你叫我什么
What'd you call me?
哥们 退后
Hey, man, back up.
-我又没说什么 -是吗
- I ain't judging. - Yeah?
操♥你♥妈♥ 你个舔屌♥的
Fuck you, cocksucker.
操♥你♥妈♥ 你个狗♥娘♥养♥的
And fuck you, motherfucker.
-冷静 -看看你的手臂 哥们
- Hey, hey, hey. - Look at your arm, man.
都化脓了 渗到衬衫外面了都
It's abscessed--it's comin' through your shirt.
抱歉我把你的小秘密不小心说出来了
Oh, oh, I'm sorry to give away your secret.
操♥你♥妈♥
Yeah? Fuck you.
好了好了 我俩都挺无趣的
All right, you know what? Nobody's funny.
-到此为止好吧 -不不不
- How bout that, okay? - No, no.
你别拦着你这傻♥逼♥朋友
Let your bitch-ass friend go.
老娘要把这傻♥逼♥瘾君子的喉咙割开
I'll cut his motherfucking junkie throat.
走吧 快他妈上车
Hey, hey, get in the fucking car.
谢了 女士们 祝你们今晚愉快
All right, thank you, ladies. Have a good night.
好好享受你们的人生抉择所带来的后果
Enjoy the repercussions of your life decisions.
事实是
The truth is
你们俩都无趣 死基佬
you're both some unfunny, sorry-ass faggots.
谬赞了 多谢
Quite a compliment. Thank you so much.
这是事实 婊♥子♥
That's the damn truth, bitch.
60年代美国盛及一时的女子组合
你怎么不去给"至上合唱团"剩下几位舔呢
Why don't you go suck off the rest of The Supremes?
-我给你准备了几个 -你看上去真像患了
- I got you some Supremes... - You look like Jimi Hendrix
美国黑人歌♥手
胎儿酒精综合征的吉米·亨德里克斯
with fetal alcohol syndrome,
-傻♥逼♥ -老娘随时奉陪
- you motherfucker! - Yeah, any fuckin' time!
我个人是支持女性在公众场合哺乳的
I, for one, am okay with women breastfeeding in public.
只要她们让我看的话
As long as they're okay with me watching.
说起看...
Speaking of watching...
我会习惯台下坐着这么多人的
Man, I could get used to having this many people here.
你应得的
You deserve it.
你的段子很棒
Your stuff's great.
你一定会成功的
You're gonna kill.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢什么
For what?
谢谢你这么好
Oh, for being such a nice guy.
女士们先生们 有请美丽的凯茜·菲德尔
Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Cassie Feder.
你有没有想过其实我并没有那么好
You ever think that maybe I'm not that nice a guy?
从没想过
Not for a second.
盖比·施瓦茨 女士们先生们
Gabe Schwartz, ladies and gentlemen.
想必你们都听出我的口音是哪里的
So I'm sure you can tell where I'm from.
-没事吧 -没事
- It's good? - Yeah.
你又开始流血了
You're bleeding again.
你是想让我带你去急诊室
You want me to take you to that emergency room
还是咱们去买♥♥冰淇淋吃
or should we get ice cream this time?
我没事
I'm good.
你知道吗 那玩意儿把兰尼·布鲁斯[美国演员]
You know, that shit turned Lenny Bruce
变成了一个有毒瘾的法庭速记员
into a strung-out court stenographer.
当然我不是拿你跟
Not that I'm comparing you
兰尼做比较 不管以哪种形式
in any way, shape, or form to Lenny.
美国著名喜剧演员
不可能人人都是索比·赛尔斯 比尔
Can't all be Soupy Sales, Bill.
那就是个拐杖
It's a fucking crutch.
你不需要那个东西
You don't need it.
痛苦是必要的 你明白的
Pain is essential, and you know it.
我们都是痛苦的艺术呈现
All we are is agony as art.
什么鬼话
Who the fuck talks like that?
说真的
Really?
谁在乎你的灵魂有没有深度
Nobody gives a fuck about the depths of your soul.
我们在乎的是幽默
It's about funny.
钱 名声
It's about money, fame,
和咱们追不上的女人上♥床♥
and getting laid by women way out of our league.
真是个烂人
Spoken like a true hack.
那又怎样
Well, so what?
我该像你和科雷一样吗
I'm supposed to be like you and Clay?
注射毒品 然后跳到车前
Shooting fucking heroin and then jump in front of a bus
正如站在聚光灯下那样吗
just as the spotlight hits?
你们这种太过于没天分的人
You don't deserve any of the good that's falling
根本没资格摊上好事
into your aggressively untalented lap.
等等 你在说什么
Wait, what are you talking about?
科雷的事是意外
Clay was an accident.
别傻了 尼克
Don't be a fucking idiot, Nick.
科雷逆着光走
Clay walked against the light
跳到高速行驶的公交车前
and jumped in front of a speeding bus.
大家都看到了
People saw it.
你是个傻屌♥ 尼克
You're a fucking cunt, Nick.
真是个混♥蛋♥
A real asshole.
估计我们这辈子都会是朋友
Which probably means we'll be friends for life.
所以醒醒吧
So wake the fuck up.
搞笑一点
Be funny.
没人在乎
Not everyone cares
让你夜不能寐的阴暗面
about the darkness that keeps you up at night.
我说完了 你们真是群好观众
All right, that's my time. You guys have been great.
谢谢
Thank you.
掌声不要停 女士们先生们
Keep it going, ladies and gentlemen.
你好啊 亲爱的
Hi. How are you, sweetheart?
他给你讲什么笑话呢
Good. Whatever joke he just told you
你笑得这么开心
that you were laughing at,
告诉你一声 他估计是偷别人的
just know he probably stole it.
祝你们今晚愉快
Okay? Have a good night.
抱歉 抱歉 过一下
Excuse me. Excuse me, please move.
含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here
剧集 | 含笑台上（2017） | 导航列表