含笑台上（2017）

I'm Dying Up Here S01E06

Part 2 May 7, 2021, 2:47 p.m.

我应该可以帮你在熟食店里安排点活干
You know, I could probably get you a couple shifts at the deli.
我会尽快在合理范围内
As soon as possible, within reason.
你真的是个走运的王八羔子
You really are one lucky douche.
首先不好意思我法语不好
First of all, and pardon my French,
不过弗雷德为你硬了好久了
but Fred has had a boner for you for quite a while.
首先这不是法语
First of all, that's not French,
不过我愿意接受赞美
but I'll take the compliment.
我等不及想要见他了
I can't wait to meet him.
弗雷德是什么想法
So, what are Fred's thoughts?
首先我们想了好几个可能的主持人
We been tossing around possible hosts, for starters.
我们想到了托娣·菲尔德斯
Totie Fields's name came up.
托娣很棒的
Totie is wonderful,
不过她现在是不是身体不太好
but isn't her health kind of crap right now?
萨利·斯特拉瑟斯怎么样
What about Sally Struthers?
"家族血统"一个月内就要开始制♥作♥了
All in the Family goes into production in a month.
克洛丽丝·利奇曼怎么样
Well, how about Cloris Leachman?
她已经有"玛丽·泰勒·摩尔秀"了
She's got Mary Tyler Moore,
而且还可能会有衍生剧
and there's-- there's talk of a possible spin-off,
所以她现在就像热锅上的蚂蚁忙得团团转
so she's got a little too much on her plate right now.
她是我朋友我跟她打个电♥话♥就行
Eh, she's a friend. I-I could just give her a call.
那倒也没啥不妥
Can't hurt to ask.
好我们来说说新星们吧
Great. Well, let's talk about talent.
这是个新人叫艾兰恩·布斯勒
Now, this new kid, Elayne Boosler,
特别幽默
funny as shit.
玛莎·沃菲尔德
Marsha Warfield,
也很搞笑
she is hi-larious.
达芙妮·戴维斯这孩子前途甚好
Daphne Davis. She's got something going on.
还有她凯伦·考茨威尔
And this kid. Karen Cozwell.
不失为猛将
She is a riot.
她绝对会一炮而红你信我没错
Yeah, she's gonna break. Uh-uh, you can trust me on that.
我挺喜欢布斯勒和沃菲尔德
Yeah, Boosler and Warfield-- I like them.
戴维斯这几个我们都挺看好的
Davis-- they're all on our radar.
我对这位不太熟悉
I don't know about this one.
我们得对她进行一番审查
You know, we'll have to vet her.
她们都是人才马蒂
They're all gems, Marty.
都是戈尔迪精心挑选出来的人才
They're handpicked by Goldie herself.
这我很感激不过弗雷德有他的规矩
And that means a lot. But, uh, Fred has his process.
所以CBS才一直稳坐收视率之王的宝座
Which is why CBS is sitting on top of the ratings.
我相信戈尔迪可以帮忙安排对吧戈尔迪
I-I'm sure Goldie can arrange something. Right, Goldie?
对啊我们...
Well, yeah. We got the, uh,
在"地窖"会举办"女士之夜"
Ladies Night in the Cellar.
你可以过来瞧一瞧怎么样
Why don't you come see a showcase, huh?
没问题
Sure.
-最近手头有点紧 -紧
- It's a little light. - Light?
别急我很快就有钱了
Relax. I got money coming, man.
我他妈能不着急吗
Don't tell me to fucking relax.
怎么你以为你和我表弟关系好
What? You think just 'cause you and my cousin are tight
我就会卖♥♥你人情让你白嗑吗
I'm gonna sell you some smack on fucking credit?
-快点滚 -饶我一次行吗
- Get the fuck out of here. - Give me a break, all right?
我现在手头真的紧
Shit's tight right now.
为了事业起步我花光了所有的积蓄
I spent all the money I got trying to get set up out here.
我昨晚上《今夜秀》了你看到了吗
But I was on Carson last night. Did you catch that?
管你♥妈♥的♥上哪儿了老子不在乎
I don't care if you were on the fucking moon last night.
总之钱不会是问题
Yo, anyway, money's not gonna be a problem.
相信我好吗
All right? Trust me.
我他妈不信瘾君子
I ain't trusting no fucking junkie.
我不是瘾君子
I'm not a fucking junkie.
你不是你们都不是行了吧
No, not you. None of yous are.
这么跟你说如果你给我口♥交♥
Tell you what. Why don't you suck my dick,
我可以给你两包货
and I'll give you two bags?
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you.
"去你♥妈♥的♥"通常是结束语
Usually "fuck you" is an exit line.
我把皮衣给你
I'll give you my leather.
九♥成♥新
It's practically new.
值80块怎么样
It's worth 80 bucks, all right?
这是我妈给我的礼物
That's a gift from my mother.
你妈
Your fucking mother?
没错
Yeah.
你不是瘾君子
You're not a junkie.
别来无恙啊小兄弟新东家对你还好吗
Hey, what's up, young brother? How's the new digs treating you?
如果你早点告诉我那里是妓院就好了
Would've been nice if you told me it was a fucking whorehouse.
-那里不是妓院 -对模特经纪公♥司♥
- It's not a whorehouse. - Oh, yeah. Modeling agency.
我才不信这些鬼话
Look, I done got the whole bullshit speech.
巴顿不是我不知好歹
Barton, I don't want to seem unappreciative or nothing,
可是...
but...
我不想给皮条客打工
I don't know if I want to work for no pimp.
你很不得了啊
You're something else,
怒气冲冲地跑过来
coming in here all hot.
我爸曾在洛杉矶的中♥央♥大道上
You know, my dad ran a jazz club
开了一家爵士俱乐部
on LA's Central Avenue.
全国的优秀人才络绎不绝
Some of the best talent in the country came through that place.
客流量周周爆满
Packed houses every weekend.
我爸可骄傲了
My daddy was so proud of that place.
美国爵士音乐家
我第一次抽大♥麻♥是和查理·帕克一起
First hit of reefer I ever took was with Charlie Parker.
白人条子...
Now, white cops--
见不得咱们黑鬼成功
they didn't like niggas getting ahead,
所以他们就对我爸
so they started extorting money
以及其他黑人经营的生意进行勒索
from my dad and all the other black-owned businesses.
如果抵抗你就会被罚款
You tried to resist, you got hit with fines,
被条例限制说你违反消防规范
restrictions, fire code violations,
甚至更惨
or worse.
然后他们把威利·帕克搬出来收拾烂摊子
Then they brought Willie Parker in to clean shit up.
他确实那么干了...
And he did...
为了白人
...for white people.
他叫咱们"猴子"
He called us monkeys.
过了一段时间
After a while,
像我爸那样的合法生意
all the legitimate businesses like my dad's?
就全都消失了
They just went away.
你告诉我黑人有什么选择的余地
Now, you tell me what's left for a black man.
我猜猜卖♥♥淫吗
Let me guess. Prostitution?
孩子如果你一直敲人家门敲到关节流血
Son, you knock on the front door till your knuckles bloody,
却没人回应
and nobody opens?
总有一天你会绕到后门撬开他们的锁
Eventually, you slip around the back and you pick the lock.
下次你来找我理论之前孩子
Know your history, boy,
先了解清楚自己种族的历史
next time you want to talk shit to a man.
喂
Hello?
我找尼克·贝弗利
I'm looking for Nick Beverly.
喂
Hello?
尼克
Nick?
不我是泰迪·金
No. This is Teddy King.
可以让尼克接电♥话♥吗
I-I'm-I'm-I'm wanting to speak to Nick.
他在家吗
Is he there?
好消息女士们
Good news, ladies.
我们有自己的香烟了
We got our own cigarettes.
谢谢你 "维珍妮"[女士香烟品牌]
Thank you, Virginia Slims.
平等权利没门
Equal rights? No.
平等工资想都别想
Equal wages? Not a chance.
但获得了患肺癌的平等机会
But equal chances of getting lung cancer?
您先请女士
After you, madam!
好吧我27岁单身
All right, I'm 27 and single,
我想一部分原因出在
and I think part of the reason for this is
我悲惨的童年吧
because I had a really tough childhood.
我十岁的时候父母双亡
Both of my parents died when I was ten.
谢谢真的没事他们是在梦中过世的
Thank you. It's okay, really. They died in their sleep.
只不过死的时候刚好坐在了方向盘后面
They just happened to be behind the wheel of a car at the time.
生活中少了楷模真的很难
It's really hard not having role models.
你需要有人来教你各种事情
You need someone to teach you how stuff works,
比如感情
like relationships
或者系安全带
or seatbelts.
我喜欢你讲的新笑话