含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here
第一季
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含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here S01E02
Part 8
May 7, 2021, 2:46 p.m.
This crowd is no different than any other crowd.
-他们根本没在听 -那就让他们听
- They're not even listening. - So make them listen.
你知道吗 你现在表现有点混♥蛋♥
You know, you're being kind of an asshole right now.
你已经很久没有在凌晨两点表演过了
You haven't played 2 A.M. in a long time,
有时候观众就是烂
and sometimes it's just a sucky crowd.
匀五分钟给我
Then give me five of your minutes,
我会让他们认真听的
and I'll turn 'em around.
这是考验吗
Is this a test?
考验
A test?
你是在考验我吗
Yeah. Are you testing me?
我是 我是想尽到男友的职责
Yeah, I am. I'm being a dedicated boyfriend, okay?
不像你这个女朋友
And--and unlike you as a girlfriend,
我认为我一定会成功
I think I'm passing with flying colors.
这取决于你是怎么定义的了
Well, I guess that depends on what your definition is.
那你是怎么定义的 凯茜
And what's your definition, Cass--
为一个死人高举火炬吗
Carrying a torch for a dead guy?
好了 接下来
All right. Up next...
是谁该上场了
Who we got? Um...
他们是在后台睡着了吗 下一个是谁
They asleep back there? Who's next?
凯茜
Cassie?
你居然在我上台之前跟我说这些
I can't believe you would do this to me
简直难以置信
right before I fucking go on.
如果你搞不定
If you can't handle it,
那我替你去热场
I'll warm 'em up for you.
不 你不需要这样
No, I don't need you to do that.
比尔 我不需要你这样
Bill, I don't need you to do that.
好吧 来了个临场替补
Oh, all right, we got a last-minute substitution.
他是主舞台的常驻演员了
Uh, he's a regular on The Main Stage,
你们马上就会在《午夜特♥供♥》节目中看到他
you're gonna see him on Midnight Special very soon.
我的好兄弟 比尔·霍布斯先生
My man, Mr. Bill Hobbs!
早上好
All right. Good morning.
前排所有观众都在同一天
Wow, what are the odds of an entire front row of people
把自家的狗给抛下了 可真是难得啊
who all had their dogs put down on the same day, huh?
我没结婚 一向不喜欢婚姻这个概念
Uh, I'm not married. Don't like the idea of marriage.
想到周年纪念礼物我就倒胃口
The whole anniversary gifts is a real turnoff to me.
第一年纸婚 第二年棉婚
You know, first year, paper. Second year, cotton.
第三年皮革婚什么的
Third year, leather.
听起来像自杀套装一样 对吧
Sounds like a suicide kit, doesn't it?
你看啊...
You know, it's...
这纸可以用来写自杀遗书
The paper to write the suicide note with, you know?
"亲爱的 谢谢你去年送我的棉花
Like, "Oh, thanks for the cotton last year, babe,
"还有今年送我的用来上吊的皮带"
"and now the, uh, belt to hang myself with."
我觉得我们得把这个清单改一改
I feel like we should amend that list, you know.
也是该更新更新了
It needs to be updated.
这应该就属于这种情况...
It's one of those things where it's, uh...
那家公♥司♥就要倒闭了
That company is gonna fall apart.
一种新的...那位女士 您好
...A new--uh-uh, hey. Excuse me?
就你 说话的那个
Hi. Yeah, you, talking.
说的就是你
I'm--I'm talking to you.
不然还能是谁
Uh, who else would I be talking to?
我正在这里努力讲笑话
Um, I'm up here working,
如果你能闭上你的嘴巴
so if you don't mind shutting the fuck up...
我会永远感激你
...I'd be, uh, forever grateful.
-谢谢 -你别理我不就行了
- Thank you. - Just ignore me, okay?
这对于你生活中的其他人来说可能很简单
Uh, ignoring you is probably easy for everyone in your life,
可这是我的工作
but, uh, this is my job.
我站在这里 努力工作
So I'm up here, doing my job,
我的工作就是站在这里 做喜剧表演
my job is to stand here, talking,
而你的工作是乖乖坐着不要讲话
and yours is to sit with your mouth shut,
认真听我说 明白吗
listening, okay?
别这么刻薄 我们今天被解雇了[被睡了]
Be nice. We got laid off today.
你们今天跟人上♥床♥了
You got laid today?
看你脸上的表情 估计技术不太行啊
Judging by the expression on your face, it wasn't that good.
我们整个部门都被裁了
Our whole department got laid off today.
是吗
Oh, really?
那你们他妈的干嘛来看喜剧表演
Then why the fuck did you come to a comedy show?
有没搞错 你以为就因为你的生活很烂
Oh, Jesus, lady, you think just 'cause your life is shit,
你就要来这里影响我们大家吗
you need to come here and share the wealth?
你知道这有多难吗
You know how fucking hard this is?
你根本不知道
No, you have no idea
站在这里说喜剧有多难
what it's like to put yourself out there.
肯定比今天把你和那个行走的陵墓
I'm--I'm sure it's a lot harder than whatever widget factory
无情解雇的破工厂难多了
you and the traveling mausoleum got shit-canned from today.
真好
Oh, great. Okay.
-好了 -谢了
- Okay. - Thanks.
你们要走了 现在要走了吗
Oh, oh, you taking off? Now you gonna leave, huh?
赶紧滚 滚啊
Fuck off. Go.
失业办公室马上就要关门了 女士们
Unemployment office isn't open for another couple hours, girls.
你真是个混♥蛋♥
You're an asshole.
没错 我是混♥蛋♥ 千万别再来了
Yeah, I am an asshole. Don't ever fucking come back.
去他妈的
Fuck it.
各位 感谢比尔·霍布斯
Everybody, Bill Hobbs!
下一届女权大会发言人
Keynote speaker at the next feminist convention.
喂
Hello?
昨晚我有个同事去了你的俱乐部
Had a colleague at your club last night,
说那个霍布斯大闹了一场
said your Hobbs guy put on quite a show.
场面难看至极
Ugly, with a capital U.
我完全不知道你在说什么
Well, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.
我们不打算要他了
We're dropping your boy.
不要他了
Dropping him?
你们这是疯了吧
Well, that's fucking insane.
他都还没上过场呢
He wasn't even scheduled.
我们只是想再等等看
We just want to wait a bit.
几个月以后再对他重新评估
We'll revisit the situation in a couple of months.
阿特 相信我 比尔很专业
Art, I give you my word, Bill's a pro.
喜剧演员经常会怼人
Comics go off on people all the time.
可能他只是喝多了
Maybe he had too much to drink, huh?
我的人说 他可不止是怼人
According to my guy, he didn't just go off.
他那简直是疯狗乱咬人
He went ballistic.
我们已经请到罗伯特·克莱恩了
Look, we already got Robert Klein.
过几个月再说吧
Let's talk in a couple of months.
怎么 难道突然之间我成了个傻子吗
What, I-I'm an idiot all of a sudden?
我培养出来的孩子我会不了解吗
I don't know my own kids?
我跟你说过我戒掉咖啡了吗
Did I tell you I gave up coffee?
咖♥啡♥因♥会让我很焦虑
The caffeine... made me anxious,
会让我说一些
made me say things in a way that was,
与我本意不符的话
let's just say, not as I'd intentioned.
惹出很多不必要的麻烦
Ended up burning a lot of bridges.
可我没有
Not me.
我爱喝咖啡
I love my coffee.
你爱喝就他妈
But you go ahead--
滚去喝你的茶去吧
you enjoy your fucking tea.
喂
Hello?
嗨 戈尔迪 有事吗
Hey, Goldie, what's up?
我把你的外套取来了
I picked up your suit
因为这是女朋友应该做的
because that's what girlfriends do.
昨天我那什么的时候 《午夜特♥供♥》的人
Someone was there from Midnight Special
在台下...
when I...
我不能...
And, uh, I'm not...
他们取消了
They cancelled.
是凯丽吗
Is that Carrie?
她进不进来
Well, is she coming in or not?
我...谢谢您 霍布斯先生 不过...
Um, I'm-- Thank you, Mr. Hobbs, but--
她得走了 老爸
She can't stay, Dad.
是刚发生的事吗
Did this just happen?
嗯 戈尔迪刚挂掉电♥话♥
Yeah, Goldie just hung up.
今晚晚点我给你打电♥话♥ 好吗
I'll call you later tonight, okay?
好
Okay.
你还好吧
You're okay, right?
没事
Yeah.
谢谢你送这个来
含笑台上（2017）
I'm Dying Up Here
剧集 | 含笑台上（2017） | 导航列表