熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S05E13

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:54 p.m.

Okay, for this year's group trip,
今年组团出游
we agreed to play a game
我们决定玩一个游戏
where the winner would choose the destination.
由胜者选择目的地
Unfortunately, we did not think it through
不幸的是选游戏的时候我们太随便了
when we chose the game... cul-de-sac crew trivia.
居然选了"八卦问答"
I smoked you guys!
我对你们的秘密了如指掌
But a deal's a deal.
不过一言既出驷马难追
Tom, you pick the destination, and we leave tomorrow.
汤姆你决定地点我们明天就出发
Where we going, tom?
我们去哪里啊汤姆
Here. What?
这里什么
Nothing beats hanging around here with all of you!
没什么比跟你们在这里一起玩更棒了
So I didn't book a trip. We're going nowhere!
所以我没有预定行程我们哪里也不去
Tom, you're the worst!
汤姆你最差劲了
The worst!
最差劲了
It was meant as a sweet gesture.
我明明是为了表现友好
I thought you'd appreciate the... Wrong!
我还以为你们会很喜欢这主意错了
I'm about as popular as your fourth-grade bully...
我现在成了恶棍了人人喊打
Mackenzie Dickinson Jones.
麦肯基·迪金森·琼斯
You think the old men wash their feet
你觉得酿葡萄酒的那些老男人
before they stomp on the grapes?
踩葡萄之前会洗脚吗
Sorry.
不好意思
I have a life-insurance physical today,
我今天有个人寿保险的体♥检♥
so if I can't drink, neither can you.
所以如果我不能喝酒你们也不行
I was wondering why you were eating a salad.
我还在想为什么你要吃沙拉
I got two hours to get healthy.
我有两个小时的时间让自己变得健康点
It's like cramming for a test.
就象考试前临阵磨刀一样
I don't think that's how it works.
我不觉的这会有用
Well, good thing no one asked you.
幸好没有人问你
You know, that doctor
你知道那个医生
Is probably gonna want a urine sample.
很有可能会让你验尿
Yeah, so?
是吗所以呢
Do you remember last night
你记得昨晚
When you had a giant freak-out over the idea
你突然有个超级离谱的想法
that we all might be figments of tom's imagination,
觉得我们都是汤姆幻想出来的虚拟人物
then suddenly... you became totally relaxed?
然后你就完全放松下来了
Oh, yeah.
恩是的
Yeah, I dosed your wine with happy pills.
我在你的酒里偷偷下药了
You spiked my wine?!
你在我酒里下药了
I have a physical in two hours!
我两小时后要体♥检♥
If I go in there with happy-pill pee,
如果我的尿检有问题
My life-insurance rates are gonna go way up!
我的人寿保险会贵的非常离谱
White-people problems -- am I right?
无病呻♥吟♥真矫情我没说错吧
There's only one responsible thing to do.
现在只剩下唯一可行的方法了
I need your sample.
我需要你的尿
If I took the time to mortar-and-pestle two dozen pills,
如果我有时间去把两打药片磨成粉
I had some.
我自然也吃了
But I will take back my tupperware.
不过我会拿回我的保鲜盒
Well, my pee is super clean, honey.
亲我的尿完全没问题
Works for me! Fill 'er up!
非常好来满上
If I don't have to pee, then I get to drink wine!
如果我不需要验尿我就可以喝酒了
They say a glass of wine a day is healthy.
人们常说一天一杯酒健康握在手
Bull's-eye!
正中靶心
I win, liver-lips.
我赢了兄弟
That dart board was a great idea, G-man.
竖个飞镖靶真是个好主意小格
There's nothing like sucking down brews
没有什么比一边喝着啤酒
And tossing around tiny, little metal spears.
一边射着小飞镖更爽的了
Definitely.
那肯定的
It's the off-season for my hockey league,
现在我的冰球联赛还没开始
And I really miss being competitive.
我真的很怀念在场上比赛的感觉
I got an idea.
我有个主意
I been hanging out at this new gym,
我最近一直在那个新健身房♥转悠
you know, to shower and to borrow those giant rolls of T.P.
去洗澡还有拿那些超级大卷的卫生纸
But they got this two-on-two basketball league,
不过他们有个2对2的篮球比赛
and I could sign us up.
我可以替我们两个报名
Ooh! Sign me up. I am in!
哦帮我报名我要参加
Oh! Get that out of there, sucker!
哦把那个拿出去混♥蛋♥
This is my house!
这是我的地盘
Get that weak crap out of here! Yes, sir.
把这个软蛋赶出去遵命老大
Well, it sure would be great if I wasn't surrounded by jerks!
如果我不是跟一群混♥蛋♥在一起一定很好
Whoa, Ando, what's wrong?
哇安迪你怎么了
Sorry, I've just been doing really terrible at work.
不好意思我最近工作表现很糟糕
I'm scared I'm gonna get laid off.
我担心会被炒鱿鱼
My boss posted a ranking of everyone's
我老板设立了一个
Performance numbers for the month.
员工月度表现排行榜
Did you come in last? They forgot to put me on the list.
你是最后一名他们忘了写我名字
I need to bring in a new, big-money investor soon,
我必须尽快找到一个新的金主才行
or I'm in trouble.
不然我就完了
White people's problems -- am I right?
无病呻♥吟♥真矫情我没说错吧
Yes, sir!
没错老大
Have you been exercising?
你最近有运动吗
I'm wearing my workout clothes, so...duh.
我现在就穿着我的运动服很明显嘛
And how many drinks do you have per week?
你一周喝多少酒
I'm sorry. What?
不好意思你说啥
Alcoholic drinks. How many per week?
酒精饮料一周喝多少
Uh, you know, I have the occasional
你懂的我偶尔
glass of wine with my friends.
会和我的朋友喝两杯
All that's left is to get a urine sample.
接下来只要验一下尿就好了
Okay, well, I'm ready to make one,
好我准备好了
you know, from my body.
你懂得从姐身体里
You just tell me where I can go to pee my own pee.
你只需要告诉我去哪尿我自己的尿
Bobby cobb. We're here for basketball.
鲍比·科布我们是来参加篮球赛的
You mean break dancing.
你是说霹雳舞吧
Uh, no, I signed up for basketball.
不对我报名了篮球赛
No, you signed up for break dancing.
不你报的是霹雳舞
Ma'am, clearly, I didn't. I s--
女士很明显我没有我报
Shoot.
该死
Maybe I shouldn't fill out forms
也许我不该在给三只小狗
while I'm washing three puppies in the sink.
洗澡的时候填表
Uh, can we get a refund, then?
你们可以退款吗
No refunds. This stinks.
不行这实在太二了
Geez. I'm sorry, G-man.
天啊真不好意思小格
I know you were looking forward to some competition.
我知道你想找些比赛
Take it easy, old man.
放松点老头子
Hey, man, what's up?
哟兄弟怎么了
Uh we're only 44, F.Y.I.
听着我们只有44岁
"Old man." That's a laugh.
老头子真好笑
Yo, I think you forgot your walker.
我觉得你忘带你的助行器了
Uh I will have you know
我要让你知道
I did a little breakin' back in my day,
我以前练过一阵子霹雳舞
so you just might want to watch your step
所以你最好自己小心点
Before I bust a sweet move in your face.
免得我的梦幻步伐打了你的脸
"In your face." Okay. That's it.
打你的脸好了够了
It's a break-off --
来斗舞一决高下
Me and my boy versus you and your crew.
我们哥俩对阵你的团队
It is on.
来吧
Ooh. But not now.
等一等
It's not on yet, because we have to stretch first
等一会我们两个先拉伸一下
and then work out our routine,
然后练习下我们的舞步
and then when we come back after that, it's on.
等我们回来的好戏就开始了
Yeah!
太棒了
Oh, what have I gotten us into?
我到底干了件多么蠢的事啊
I do not know!
我不晓得啊
Either of you got a few hundred grand sitting around?
你们俩谁坐在这里就能赚钱吗
Absolutely. That's why I'm wearing this apron.
当然啦要不然我穿围裙干什么
I need new clients, bad
我迫切需要找些新顾客
preferably millionaires.
最好是些百万富翁
When I was a broke-ass foster kid,
当我还是个小屁孩儿的时候
my favorite thing was playing millionaire!
我最喜欢的游戏就是装富翁
I was Buffy McRichDollar, world-famous model,
我是超有钱巴菲世界超模
actress, make-out champion,
女演员万人迷