熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S05E06

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:53 p.m.

Then you won't mind if I get cheeky
那你也不会介意我得意洋洋地
and dance around a little bit, will you?
跳段炫耀之舞吧
I feel so free and light.
我身轻如燕自♥由♥洒脱
Honey, if you do good deeds for other people,
亲爱的如果你助人为乐
good things will happen for you.
就会得到好报的
Like this one time I was at a club,
就像那次我在一夜店里
and a girl needed a shirt,
有个女孩需要衬衫
so I literally gave her the shirt off of my back.
所以我二话不说立马脱下自己的衬衫给她
Next thing I know, guys are stuffing money into my pants.
然后就不断有男的往我裤子里塞钱
A-boom! Textbook karma.
瞧瞧典型的好人有好报
Good deeds. That's easy.
助人为乐这简单啊
Oh, here. Let me help you with that, handsome.
来让我帮你吧帅哥
There you go.
给
Oh, thanks, Jules.
谢了茱尔斯
So long, social anxiety!
社交焦虑症拜拜了您呐
Okay.
好吧
I've so got this. Yeah.
小菜一碟没错
Let me help you with these.
我来帮你上菜
Here you go. For you.
您的菜来了请慢用
All right, take a step up.
好嘞抬起腿
All right. Have a nice day.
好嘞祝你愉快
Okay. Here I come!
好吧我来了
Here is a beautiful 3-bedroom, 3-bath colonial
这是一栋超美的三房♥三卫浴殖民时期建筑
in Gulfhaven prime.
坐落在避风湾最佳地段
Okay, I have to tell you...
好吧我得告诉你们
The electrical is shot, and the kitchen cabinets are...
屋子里的电路全瘫了而且厨房♥的橱柜
crapsville.
简直烂到极点
Oh, also, there was a murder in the house ten years ago
还有十年前这屋里发生过谋杀案
in the basement.
就在地下室
Now, honestly, I've never seen a ghost,
老实说我是没见过什么鬼魂啦
But don't ask me about the possums.
但我是不会告诉你负鼠成灾这事实的
Okay, it's like they're building a secret army.
好吧它们就像是要建秘密军队似的
Oh, man, this is going fast!
天呐实在太快了
Laurie, more wind!
劳里加强风力
Cue stuff falling out of pockets!
从乘客口袋中飞出的小玩意
This lady forgot to zip her purse.
有人钱包没关上
Letting you put this green screen in my apartment
同意让你把绿屏弄进我家
was one of the worst mistakes of my life...
是我人生中错得最离谱的决定之一
And I was went on vacation with Dennis Rodman, y'all.
要知道姐可是和丹尼斯·罗德曼度过假的人
Oh, no! No, man, not the corkscrew!
不不不天呐是螺旋式连环圈
Trav, stop it! Trav, stop it! Dad!
小崔停下停下爸
Dad, you were doing so good.
爸你刚才的表现很棒啊
Good at almost crapping my pants!
棒个头我都快吓尿了
I can't do it, Trav!
我办不到小崔
You know, Ellie,
你知道吗艾莉
I was starting to think that my captain's outfit
我开始觉得这船长装
wasn't working for me.
不咋适合我
You're into it, aren't you?
不过你很喜欢它是吧
Can't answer now.
我现在没法回答
But... please,
不过请你
please wear it again tomorrow.
请你明天继续穿它
Aye aye, captain.
没问题船长
Oh, there you are!
你在这儿啊
If I didn't know any better...
要不是我知道情况
I'd think you were avoiding me.
我还以为你在躲我
Oh, look. I'm one of those blue guys that destroys stuff.
我是破坏东西的蓝人
Somehow that passes for theater.
剧院居然允许这种东西上演
Wait. You set me up.
等等我中了你的圈套
You started this bet so you could buy loads of yard sale crap,
你提出赌局就为了买♥♥一大堆二手垃圾
and I couldn't make fun of you.
我还不能笑话你
Yes, I did. But a bet is a bet.
没错可是愿赌服输
Hey, does anyone have the time?
有人知道时间吗
It's 3 o'clock, boy!
现在三点了哦亲
I did so many good deeds today, my karma is through the roof.
我今天做了超多好事报应已经抵消了
I could probably murder somebody and get away with it.
说不定我杀人都不会有报应了
It was so nice of you
你太善良了
to take that homeless man out to lunch.
居然带流浪汉去吃午饭
I have never seen a hobo so happy.
我从没见过这么开心的流浪汉
Or, you know, a restaurant manager so angry.
或者说没见过这么生气的餐厅领班
How was I supposed to know
我怎么知道
he was gonna take a bath in the lobster tank?
他要在装龙虾的水缸里洗澡
Well, the important thing is,
重要的是
he got his steak fajitas, and I fixed my karma.
他吃到了牛肉卷饼而我消除了报应
Bring on the good, universe.
一切都好起来啦
What the hell, karma?!
这到底怎么回事报应吗
That was fun.
真有意思
Does the car in your office have anything to do with
你办公室里这部车跟路边坐着那个
that guy sitting on the curb with a foil blanket?
裹着铝箔毯子的家伙有关吗
That's the driver.
那是肇事司机
Apparently he was texting and driving--
很明显他开车的时候发短♥信♥
Something I would never do.
我肯定不会做那种事
Although I have taken the occasional driving selfie.
不过偶尔我也开车时来个自♥拍♥
when the wind hits your hair at 70 miles an hour... mm.
时速一百公里的风拂过你的头发
It is, like, next-level hot.
感觉简直太棒了
I did so much good stuff.
我都做了这么多好事了
What else could karma want?
报应究竟想要我怎么样
Should we get a ouija board and ask her?
我们需要弄个占卜板来问问看吗
I have spent half the day biting my tongue
我忍♥了一整天没说话
so I don't have to dress up like a fat japanese man in a thong.
就是不想打扮成穿丁字裤的日本男
If you guys could pull back on the crazy talk,
能不能请你们
that would be great.
别再说这些有的没的
Laurie, what am I gonna do?
劳里我要做什么来着
This may require an insane amount of charity--
这可能需一笔巨额慈善款
And I'm not talking about Charity Diaz,
我说的不是瓷姗·迪亚兹
My latina doppelganger.
我的拉丁裔影分身
That bitch is always running around town
那个婊♥子♥经常接着一头金发
with her blonde extensions and her day-glo push-ups bras
穿着荧光提升型胸罩在镇子里乱窜
and she's like:"Kay-kay".
自以为是万人迷
I've gotta leave right this second.
我现在必须走了
So how'd you get here so fast with the chair stuck to you?
你捆着个椅子怎么还能这么快过来
I coasted on the downhill parts.
下坡路我是用滑的
I saw you zooming through town.
我看到你嚷嚷着穿过镇子了
You came really close to hitting those two construction guys
你差一点就撞到
carrying that giant pane of glass.
那两个扛着玻璃的装♥修♥工了
What kind of loser is so afraid of roller coasters
是什么样的懦夫才会因为怕过山车
where he can't even honor his beloved grandfather's last wish?
以至于连亲爱的爷爷的遗愿都做不到
Okay, dad, I have a confession to make.
好吧爸我坦白
I'm afraid of roller coasters, too.
我也很怕过山车
Ah, you're just saying that to make me feel better.
你不过说来让我好受点
Why didn't you tell me before?
你以前怎么不说
Because it's incredibly embarrassing.
因为这种事真的很尴尬
So I passed that onto you?
所以是我遗传给你的吗
God, I guess coaster fear is in my DNA.
看来过山车恐惧已经写在我基因里了
Yeah, it could be genetic. Or...
这个说不定能遗传或者是因为
Sure, we can go on the coaster, Trav.
我们当然可以去坐过山车小崔
But you should know
不过你要知道
there's a bogeyman waitin' for us on the first hill.
第一个山头有妖怪在等着我们
Yeah, let's go for a ride!
我们去坐过山车吧
I'm sure somebody put back that missing piece of track.
我敢肯定他们已经把缺的轨道装回去了
When we hit the loop, keep your mouth closed
过山车启动以后闭好嘴巴
'cause there's 100% chance
因为有百分之百的可能
some dude's puke is gonna fly in your face.
别人的呕吐物会飞到你的脸上
Trav, I am so sorry.
小崔对不起
It's okay, dad. I forgive you.
没关系爸我原谅你
And I love you, and when you love someone,
我爱你而当你爱一个人的时候
you step in when they need it most.
你就会急人所急
What are you doing?
你在干什么
Going to the amusement park, for you
为了你和科布曾爷爷
and for grandpappy Cobb.
去游乐场
So touching.
真感人