熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S05E10

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:54 p.m.

No, thank you.
别该谢的是你
Oh, my god, how many knees do you have? Sorry.
天怎么到处都是你的膝盖抱歉
Because knees are so sexy to me.
我觉得膝盖超性感
Knees are like elbows for the legs.
膝盖就是腿的肘关节
Okay, I'm putting you in the car.
好了我想把你丢进车里了
That was the saddest song.
真是首催人泪下的歌♥
I thought it was just about a gumball machine, and then bam!
我原以为是个口香糖机的故事结果不是
The guy's girlfriend dies on prom night?
他的女友死于舞会之夜
What? Exactly. It's moving.
怎么会这样就这样相当感人
That's what I wanted to do here --
这正是我想要做的...
Bring some cultural flavor to town.
给镇子注入一些文化韵味
But now...
但现在...
Hello, Coffee Bucks!
新巴克的朋友们大家好
Um, ladies, what is with all the shoes?
女士们要那么多鞋做什么呢
I mean, I only need two -- the left and the right.
我只需要两只鞋一只左脚一只右脚
This is Larry, the surgeon, who has to really pee.
我是外科医生拉里我得先尿上一泡
Oh, thank goodness I made it.
谢天谢地我赶上了
Scalpel. Didn't want to miss this, huh?
手术刀你是真的不想错过啊
I left your mom sitting on Tom's lap to be here.
你妈坐在汤姆的腿上都阻止不了我过来
Today is my super bowl!
今天是我享受超级杯赛的日子
All right, I'm gonna do my first incision.
今天第一刀就要开始了
Ooh, why did I drink all that lemonade?!
为什么我把那种柠檬水全喝光了
Travis, I'm all for supporting the arts,
崔维斯对于搞活动我全力赞成
but you said this was gonna bring in business.
你说过这能提高营业额
Everyone's leaving.
可客人都跑了
There's one woman that seems to really be enjoying it.
那边有位女客人看起来相当地享受啊
Are you referring to the woman
你指的是往咖啡杯里
who's pouring wine into a coffee cup?
倒酒的那位女客人吗
Either ban this clown
要么把这蠢货拉黑
or I'm shutting down open-mike night.
要么我要叫停这个即兴活动了
Uh, okay, I'm gonna do some improv now.
好我现在要做即兴表演
Please, someone shout out the name of a famous person.
随便哪位说个名人的名字
President James k. Polk!
詹姆斯·K·波尔克总统
Um, okay. Uh...
好的
oh, really do enjoy being president.
能成为总统偶真的很开森
Of America?
还是美国总统哟
Okay, burrito.
玉米煎饼啊
I got to try to get you into my tummy,
我会努力把你吃下去的
which shouldn't be a problem
分分钟就能吃干净
because you are the best thing ever!
你可是世上最好吃的卷饼啊
Bobby. What are you doin'?
鲍比你在干嘛
Aren't you goin' to finish me?
你不是要把我吃干净的吗
You're a giant talking burrito!
会说话的卷饼巨人
That's right. Eat me.
正是在下吃我吧
Uh, I don't think I want to.
我不想吃
Thanks. You love me.
谢谢了你是爱我的啊
I don't know anymore.
现在不确定了
I have to go.
我得走了
Not without me! I'm part of you!
没我你走不了的我是你的一部分
No, burrito! Go away!
不玉米卷饼滚开
I'm free, you son of a bitch!
我可是免费的你个混♥蛋♥
It was just a dream.
只是做梦
Noooo!
不
We nailed that lunch!
中午那餐饭我们对付过去了
Well, besides the bruises on my ass
除了坐在汤姆瘦得皮包骨的大腿上
from sitting on Tom's bony lap
让我屁♥股♥磨得有点疼
and having to choke down your fish and chips,
和不得不吃你做的炸鱼和薯条之外
it was perfect.
一切都很完美
You know, the role of brain-injured Grayson
要演好脑袋受伤的格雷森这个角色
was so nuanced and multi-layered,
需要细致入微的表情和多层次的演技
but I killed it.
而我毫无压力
Jules, I want to run something by you.
茱尔斯我想和你商量个事
We are not moving to L.A.
我们不会搬到洛杉矶
Now his daughter gets to go back to New York
现在他女儿对爸爸放了一百个心
feeling good about her dad.
然后回她的纽约去
Ooh. Was it weird that I just kissed my brother?
和自己弟弟亲嘴是不是有点奇怪
Ooh, weird and hot.
虽然奇怪但很撩人
Oh, yeah. So hot. Give me some of that DNA PDA.
可不是欲♥火♥焚身啊来给我点爱的种子
Amy! Amy?
艾米什么艾米
Haylee!
海莉
I just came by to say thank you for lunch.
我只是想来谢谢你们招待我午餐
I can't believe you would
我简直不敢相信
cheat on my dad with your own gay brother.
你居然背着我爸和自己的同性恋弟弟搞在一起
Wait, I'm gay? Why didn't anybody tell me?
等下我是同性恋吗怎么没人告诉我
That totally rounds out the character.
这可以让我的角色更丰满
Tom's doughter thinks I'm cheating on her dad
汤姆的女儿觉得我背着她爸爸
with my brain-damaged, gay brother.
和我脑子有伤的同性恋弟弟搞在一起了
I can't believe I was playing "Forrest gump"
难以置信我演的是《阿甘正传》
when I should have been playing "Philadelphia."
但其实应该演《费城故事》才对
Can you help me out here? Sorry.
你能帮我想想办法吗抱歉
We need to go find Tom
我们去找汤姆
and get him to tell Haylee the truth.
让他告诉海莉事情的真♥相♥
What if we tell Haylee that you were choking on a peanut
你觉得告诉海莉你被花生噎住了
and I was giving you CPR?
那时我正在给你做心肺复苏怎么样
That's not how CPR works.
心肺复苏可不是这么做的
What if we were two siblings sharing my last mint?
那我们姐弟俩在分享最后一块薄荷糖呢
Or that this is the way our family
要不就说这其实是我们家族
just cures hiccups, you know?
治疗打嗝的偏方
Can you even hear yourself?
听听你自己说的什么话
Fine. Let's go talk to Tom.
好吧我们去找汤姆
Ooh! What if a snake bit me in the mouth?
我被蛇咬到嘴了这个理由怎么样
Jules, enough. Let's go.
够了茱尔斯我们走吧
Is that camera to capture my demise as a promoter?
这台相机是要见证我这位发起人的灭亡吗
Partially.
某种程度上来说是的
But, also, when I'm old and senile,
而且当我垂垂老矣的时候
I just want to remember these timeless moments
我会希望能记得这些永恒的瞬间
where my husband made a giant, public ass of himself.
我丈夫在广大群众面前出大糗
I hate to ruin it, but my manager said
我万分不愿打破你的想象但我经理说了
get rid of Andy or he's canceling open mike.
别让安迪上台否则他就停办即兴演出
Is he here? Check it out!
他在这吗看这里
I got this prop box 15 years ago
十五年前我自觉有希望
when I thought I might be a professional comic,
成为一名专业喜剧演员时就买♥♥了这个道具箱
and I never got a chance to use it -- until now!
直到现在我才有机会用到它
Anyone see a chicken run around here?
有谁看一只鸡跑到这附近吗
He's late for an appointment.
它赴约迟了
Oh, here he is.
它在这呢
Look, Mr. Torres, a-about --
托瑞斯先生关于...
I know, I know, I went a little long last time,
我知道我知道上次我是有点拖台了
but I'm gonna set down to a tight twenty
我准备把时间严格控制在二十分钟内
and this has been such a blast.
这次一定会大受欢迎的
It's like a dream come true.
就像梦想成真一样
And I owe it all to you.
这都要归功于你
Looking forward to seeing you tonight.
期待今晚你的表演
Get out of here! I hate you, man!
给我滚开我恨你混♥蛋♥
You're delicious, but you ruined my life!
你是很好吃但你毁了我的生活
Bobby! Stop! What are you doing?!
鲍比停车你在搞什么飞机
Getting rid of these evil bean-and-cheese pockets!
我要甩掉这些万恶的奶酪豆子混合袋
I hate them!
我讨厌死它们了
Stop it!
别丢我了
Why did you order so many?
你定这么多干嘛
because I love them! What's happening to me?!
因为我爱吃我到底怎么了
Oh, you've hit rock bottom.
你把自己给吃"伤"了
I know. I've been there.
我能体会我也干过这种事
Except my bottom had actual rocks.
只不过我真的会"伤"人
I woke up face-down in a ravine, eyes crusted over,
醒来后我发现自己脸朝下满眼灰躺在沟里
headphones half strangling me, spice girls still blasting.
耳机差点把我勒死而那些辣妹还在唱
Bobby. Huh?
鲍比怎么了
You have to get rid of the ticket.
你必须处理掉那张票
You know what? Just hand it to the next person you see.
不如直接丢给你旁边的人
Oh, you're right. Hey, buddy.
你说的没错喂伙计