熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S05E03

Part 3 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:53 p.m.

还有这个人
I'm watching the clock, okay? I gotta make my game.
我看着时间呢我可一定要去比赛
I thought this through. You have your jacket?
我想好了你带了外套吧
Check. Good.
这儿呢很好
You're gonna leave it on the back of your dinner chair.
你等下把它留在椅背上
And that way, people will think we're up mingling all night.
这样别人就会以为我们整晚都在应酬
Mnh. My dad left this jacket to me when he died.
这可是我爸的遗物
Do you want to go to the game or not?
你到底想不想去比赛
Great.
很好
Let's go photo bomb some pictures.
我们去拍点照片吧
That guy's got a bird on his head.
那男的头上顶了只鸟
Trav, what happened?
小崔你肿么了
Well, after the meteor hit,
被流星击中后
I woke to find I have a new power--
我发现自己有了新能力
Human flight!
我会飞了
I was just--just, uh...
我只是只是在呃
It's okay. It's a safe place.
没事这里很安全
Just let your imagination run free.
随意发挥你的想象力好了
I do. Believe me.
相信我我自己就是
Hey, guys.
你们好
I would say that was insane
要不是我还拿着我妈的人偶
if I wasn't holding a doll version of my own mother.
我肯定会说真疯狂啊
Since you obviously think
很明显你们觉得
that I have a ridiculous clown face,
我脸上的妆浓得像小丑
I've decided to hide it from you.
所以我决定把它遮住
So you're welcome.
不用谢
Well, now I need to make a tiny little helmet.
那我得做个小头盔了
Laurie, I'm sorry.
劳里对不起
This is the new me, Travis.
小崔这是我的新形象
You should just get used to it.
慢慢习惯就好
Laurie!
劳里
99 problems.
你完了
Let's see what Bobby and Ellie are up to.
鲍比和艾莉要去做什么呢
You are in good hands.
你很幸运
I have never lost in this suit.
穿这身衣服我就没输过
I call it "The widow-maker."
我叫它"寡妇制♥造♥者"
Game time.
游戏开始
Heels.
高跟走起
Damn! You brought the heat, girl.
好家伙你还真是火力全开啊
Let's go kick this guy's ass.
我们狠狠收拾那家伙一顿
Excuse me?
不好意思
If your poop scooping schedule will allow,
如果你的捡便便日程表还有空
I'd like to have a word about those pooches.
我有点关于狗的话想说
Me?
跟我说吗
No, the other guy with the wagon full of puppies.
不另一个拉了一车小狗的人
Are you aware
你知道
that chapter 61 of Florida Family Law Statutes
佛罗里达家庭法案第61条规定
state that you must comply with all parenting schedules?
你必须遵守父母照看时间规定吗
Three days a week and alternating holidays will be fine.
一周三天假期轮换
I'm also aware that Florida Family Law
我还知道佛罗里达家庭法案
only applies to humans.
只对人类生效
Honey, you're not as scary as you think.
亲爱的你没你想象的那么可怕
Buh-bye now.
拜拜了您呐
What just happened?
这是什么状况
Did we lose?
我们输了吗
Oh, would you stop looking at your watch?
你能别一直看表了吗
Just relax and enjoy the insane assortment of people.
放松点难得有这么多神奇的人类品种
Okay, fine. Hey, look-- Scott Baio.
好吧看斯克特·拜奥[娘炮主持]
Hey, look over there.
看那里
There's the bad guy from every black-and-white movie.
那些黑白电影里的经典坏人
Oh, you think that's bad?
你觉得那够奇葩了吗
Check out "How many meatballs can I fit into my mouth?" Guy.
看那边的"猜我嘴里能塞多少肉丸"先生
Oh, no. A-a different guy.
我们不是说你
Oh! Ladies and gentlemen,
女士们先生们
Please take your seats. We're about to start.
请就座我们马上就要开始了
Wow. I can't believe we're starting on time.
真不敢相信居然准时开始了
This actually might work. I told you I knew what I was doing.
说不定真能按计划来我就说嘛
Now the second they walk down the aisle,
等他们走红地毯的时候
we're outta here!
我们就闪人
Hey! What are you two doing in the cheap seats?
你们俩怎么坐在普通席
Maid of honor and best man need to be up front.
伴娘伴郎应该坐在前面
I'm sorry. M-maid of what now?
不好意思伴伴什么
Hurry up! We're starting!
赶紧的要开始了
Got the rings?
戒指准备好没有
What?
啥
I'm kidding! I've got the rings. Come on!
开玩笑的戒指在我这快点
Well, that's a small little wrinkle in the plan.
我们的计划好像出了点意外
I'm sorry.
我错了
I thought that "First mate" was just a cutesy name for "Guest."
我还以为"大副"是"客人"的昵称
Why couldn't you just say "No" in the first place?
你为什么不一开始就拒绝呢
So I'm making a viral video out of this.
为了让婚礼视频被疯狂转发
Act surprised when my friend Fat Dave
等下我朋友肥肥戴夫大闹婚礼的时候
streaks the ceremony.
表现得惊讶一些
Mm, okay.
好吧
Please don't be mad. I should've known better.
别生我气我早该知道的
Seriously? Right now?
有没搞错这种时候
All right, um, I'll take one box.
好吧我买♥♥一盒
Peanut butter. Pay you later.
花生黄油味晚点给你钱
It's incredible how much this doll look likes me.
这个娃娃居然能这么像我
I'd sue you for using my likeness,
我都可以起诉你侵犯肖像权了
but I'd probably lose.
不过我可能会输
Yeah, well, this Bobby doesn't have any puppies either.
而且这个鲍比也没有小狗狗
That guy wasn't afraid at all.
那个家伙一点也不怕我
I've lost my edge.
我的霸气哪去了
No. You're still as terrifying and vicious as ever.
不你一如既往的可怕又狠毒
Tom, show her your Ellie doll.
汤姆给她看看你的"艾莉玩偶"
No, no. The other one.
不是这个另外那个
Angry Ellie.
生气的艾莉
No, thank you. I don't want to.
还是不要了我不想
Tom, do it.
汤姆拿出来
See, Ellie?
瞧艾莉
This is how Tom envisions you in his head--
这就是你在汤姆心里的形象
As a giant, horrible dragon.
一只巨型暴龙
You do?
真的吗
Oh, Tom...
汤姆
Now go find that puppy-hoarding jackass
现在去找那个攒小狗的混球
and let him taste the wrath of the dragon lady.
让他尝尝暴龙小姐的怒火
Puka shell is goin' down.
女超人要变身了
Knock-knock.
咚咚
Okay, can you just take that thing off so we can talk?
你能把那东西取下来跟我说话吗
Look, I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings.
很抱歉我伤害了你的感情
I like that you wear a lot of makeup.
我很喜欢你化浓妆
I mean...
我是说
Uh, you're like a... like a beauty pageant queen.
你就像像个选美皇后
Not one of those slutted out "Toddlers & Tiara" freaks.
不是那种硬给小孩化浓妆的诡异选美
What are you talking about?
你到底想说什么
Why can't I just say this?
我怎么就说不清楚呢
You know, we never fought about anything
在出现那些无聊的人偶之前
before those stupid yet skillfully crafted dolls.
我们从来没红过脸虽然人偶做得真心不错
You're right.
你说的没错
This is all because of Tom and his freaky dolls.
都怪汤姆和他的恶趣味人偶
You know what? I'm gonna put an end to this right now.
你等着我现在就去解决这件事
Wait up!
等等
Guess I won't be needing that.
估计我也用不着这个了
You were wearing a groin cup?
你戴着护裆呢
Yeah, because I was gonna try and skate right into the game.
对啊我打算直接开溜去比赛
Also 'cause Bonnie tried to grab me there twice already today.
邦妮今天已经对我那里下手两次了
But who cares now anyway?
不过那些都是浮云了
Because we're stuck at this stupid crapfest of a wedding.
因为我们困在这个冒傻气的倒霉婚礼了
All right,
好了
so now it is time for the toasts, everybody.