熟女镇（2009）

Cougar Town S05E04

Part 1 Dec. 8, 2020, 10:53 p.m.

Ellie, are you crazy? Ditch the wine glass.
艾莉你疯了吗快把酒杯放下
Here comes the fuzz.
条子过来了
Wife of the mayor.
我是镇长夫人
Just because Andy is the figurehead mayor,
就因为安迪是挂名镇长
you can drink anywhere?
你就可以随处喝酒吗
That is so cool.
太酷了
I also get handicap parking, free stamps,
我还可以停残疾人车位拿免费邮票
and if I need a jar opened,
而且开个罐子
I just call the fire department.
都可以找消防部门
If I were mayor,
要是我当镇长
I would grant more rights to animals.
我会给动物更多权利
But also, more responsibility.
不过当然还有更多义务
All potty business must be done behind a tree.
排泄神马的必须在树后完成
And if a dog has a visible beanbag,
狗狗的蛋蛋要是大到能看得见
he's gotta wear dog pants. Ugh.
就必须穿上裤子
What? What? Hey.
什么什么
The mayor's wife can just take bottles of wine?
镇长夫人就能随便拿别人的酒吗
Uh, no, that's more of an Ellie thing.
不是这是艾莉才会做的
We should walk faster.
我们得走快一点
All right, you each get one pirate joke.
每人说一个关于海盗的笑话
Okay, what is a pirate's, um, favorite movie?
海盗最喜欢的电影是什么
One that's rated "Argh!"
限制级啊啊啊[模仿海盗说话]
Okay, I'm up.
好吧到我了
Look... it's Captain Jack Sparrow.
看杰克船长来了
But it's... not Johnny Depp. It's a guy that's...
但不是强尼·德普而是
Shorter.
一个矮子
It's stupid Buccaneer Week in Gulf Haven.
海湾港的"海盗周"
It's this dumb event to get tourists here to spend money.
只是为了吸引游客过来花钱的无聊活动
Since I'm mayor, I have to...
作为镇长我得
Okay, do-over.
重来一遍
Hey, look!
看啊
It's pirate... Long John...
这不是那位
Silver not-short... mayor.
不矮的镇长海盗嘛
Ah, I'm 0-for-2.
好吧我现在0比2
Oh. They want me to schmooze
他们要我跟所有富商
all these rich business owners and their wives.
以及阔太太们拉上关系
So I was hoping I'd get a hand from... charming Ellie?
所以我希望魅力艾莉能帮我一把
Charming Ellie? Well, what's that?
魅力艾莉那是什么
It's Ellie being charming.
艾莉开启魅力模式
Come on. Seriously, what is that?
拜托严肃点到底是什么
Oh, I'm serious.
我很严肃的
I can turn it on when I absolutely have to.
必要的时候我可以开启魅力模式
But charming Ellie hasn't been out in ten years,
可是魅力艾莉都十年没出现了
Not since the hostage situation...
自从银行人♥质♥事件之后
at the bank.
就没出现过了
They were gonna kill us.
他们当时要杀我们
I'm so glad they didn't.
幸好没有
Oh, Bobby and I decided we'd keep our phones
鲍比和我决定
on speaker all day.
一整天手♥机♥都开免提
That way we don't miss anything. That way we don't miss anything.
这样啥都不错过这样啥都不错过
Jinx! Jinx!
倒霉蛋倒霉蛋
Anyway, if I mess up this week,
要是我这周做得不好
they can squeeze me out of office.
镇长宝座就不保了
Which means no more drinking wine in public.
也就意味着你不能再在公众场合喝酒
Fine. I'll be irresistibly charming, you jackass.
好吧我会启动魅力四射模式混♥蛋♥
Wait. Did it start yet?
等等你已经开启了吗
I mean, that was kinda charming.
我觉得这样子就挺有魅力的
Hey, take a picture of this mole on my back.
给我背上的痣拍一张
I don't have a mirror on the boat.
船上没有镜子
Dog Travis has body issues.
小小崔对我的身体很挑剔的
I'm sure he does.
肯定啦
Hey, you know, I got a gig taking pics
我接了份在"海盗周"
of Mayor Torres for Buccaneer Week.
给托瑞斯市长照相的活儿
Please, call me Mayor Andy.
请叫我安迪市长
You guys keep your phones on when you go to the bathroom?
你们上厕所也保持通话吗
Friendship doesn't stop to pee.
友谊不会因尿而止
I feel like it should. I should go.
我觉得应该止我该走了
Stupid rich jerk Roger Frank
钱多人傻的混♥蛋♥罗杰·弗兰克
told me to be there at 10:00 sharp.
要我十点准时到
Why are you so worried about impressing Roger?
你为什么这么急着讨好罗杰
You're the Mayor.
你可是市长
Yeah, but he's the head of the Chamber of Commerce.
可他是商会负责人
On a casual whim, he could just drain
他一个心血来潮就能
the city budget or take away my mayoral netflix account.
砍掉市政预算停了我的奈飞镇长专属帐号♥
So you're not gonna come watch me surf?
所以你不过来看我冲浪了
Without you holding up scorecards,
没有你举着记分牌
I don't know how I'm doing.
我就不知道我做得怎么样
Time to go be important.
该去做大事了
Confidence dance me out? Oh, yeah.
给我来个信心之舞吧当然
Go get 'em pirate! Go get 'em, yeah!
海盗冲啊干掉他们
I wish I had more friends.
我怎么会有这种朋友
Why aren't you people coming into my shop?!
你们怎么都不来我的店
The next person that walks by without buying
下一个过门不买♥♥的家伙
one of my delicious cakes is getting a slice
我要把蛋糕
jammed down their throat.
塞到你的喉咙里
Wow, threatening customers.
恐吓顾客
Always a good move.
百试不爽
Listen, can I borrow a bunch of napkins?
我能借很多餐巾纸吗
My bar is packed.
我的酒馆都塞不下了
Oh, I guess pirates aren't really that into cake.
我猜海盗应该不太喜欢蛋糕
My business is crashing.
我的生意要悲剧了
I mean, don't get me wrong,
别误会
I didn't get into this business for the money.
我不是为了钱才做这个的
I really love the look on a little kid's face
我真的超喜欢小孩子
when they see one of my butterfly cakes.
看到蝴蝶蛋糕时的表情
Ugh, I still need their stupid parents to pay for it.
可我还得让他们的蠢货爹妈买♥♥单
Here.
给你
Don't worry. People will come.
别急会有人来的
Tom! How may I help you?
汤姆想来点什么
Uh, bachelor party for a dermatologist friend of mine.
一个皮肤科医生朋友的单身派对
Uh, these skin docs really know how to party.
皮肤科医生玩得可疯了
Do you wanna buy a cake or not?
你到底买♥♥不买♥♥蛋糕
Yes, it's a special order.
买♥♥ 要私人定制的
Can you make... that?
你能做一个这样的吗
Oh, Tom! Gross!
汤姆恶心死了
I mean, yes, I've obviously tried that before.
我是说很显然我曾经试过
But I'm not putting it on a cake. Come on.
但我才不要把那个放到蛋糕上拜托
All right, I'll take my business elsewhere.
好吧我去找别人做
Wait.
等等
I'll make your filthy cake.
好吧我给你做下流蛋糕
Sweet! All right, let's talk about flavors.
很好我们聊一下口味问题
As the owner of over a dozen businesses
作为一个在海湾港拥有一打生意的人
here in Gulf Haven, I'm already very rich.
我已经很有钱了
And if this Buccaneer Week thing takes off and the tourists stay,
不过要是这个"海盗周"能带来游客
I'll be even richer.
我会更有钱
Nothing would make me happier.
简直没有更美好的事了
I've taken every precaution to make sure
我已经做好一切防范措施
that Buccaneer Week goes flawlessly.
确保"海盗周"完美进行
What the--
见鬼
Aah! Oh, jellyfish! Killer jellyfish!
水母蛰人水母
I've anticipated every possible problem.
我已经预想过所有可能发生的问题
Beefed up security.
加强了安保
You have my guarantee that absolutely nothing
我想你保证不会发生任何
will happen to ruin Buccaneer Week.
影响"海盗周"的事
Giant killer jellyfish!
巨型蛰人水母
He's gonna kill us all! Run for your lives!
会把我们都杀掉的快跑啊
Did not anticipate that.
没料到这一出
Ahoy! It's me favorite wenches.
喂我最爱的姑娘们
Pirate talk is weirdly catchy.
海盗的话语真的朗朗上口呢
Well, stop. 'Cause Ellie's gotta get her game face on.
打住艾莉正在酝酿表情