脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E03

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

外号♥"雨人" 曾效力于西雅图超音速队
肖恩•坎普
Shawn Kemp!
脱衣舞店老板Jorge
Titty bar owner Jorge!
以及过气演员苏珊•萨兰登
And washed-up actress Susan Sarandon.
美国女演员活跃于上世纪七八十年代
现在有请选手们登场
And now, let's meet our contestants!
这下你怀上我的娃了
Oh, you pregnant now.
这个X代表我另一个代表你
Now, this "X" is me... this "X" is you...
Tammy就是这个O
and Tammy's the "O."
规则一... 两个X绝对不能碰到
Rule number one... the Xs can never touch.
我有问题她的洞洞怎么才能大到足够塞进两根"香肠"?
Question. How does her vagina get big enough to fit both of our wieners?
Steve 你个傻X
Steve, you dumbass!
咱俩不会同时在同一个洞里的
We don't go in the same hole at the same time.
严格按规则来
Stick to the game plan.
不许发声不许玩花样
No audibles. No changing the play.
那我啥时能说点淫♥荡♥的? 妹子们就喜欢这个
When can I talk dirty? Girls love this one...
你的阴♥道♥看起来额外地湿润
Your vagina looks extra moist.
Steve
Steve!
接下来上场的是Ethel Anderson
Next up, we have Ethel Anderson.
Ethel身高1米7 重43公斤
Ethel is five-foot-six and weighs 95 pounds.
她喜欢吃完就吐个人爱好有:
She loves eating and vomiting, and her hobbies include:
酒后约炮炮后内疚
Drunken hook-ups, walks of shame
以及临产堕胎
and late-term abortions.
不好意思我只是如实写了我知道的事
Sorry, I just wrote down everything I knew about you.
最后上场的是Connie Cunaman
And finally... Connie Cunaman.
Connie有12手高牙口好
Connie is 12 hands high with good gums
手是测量马的长度单位
而且很明显我们的秤就是她压坏的
and apparently... has broken our scale.
Connie 你的比基尼底裤呢?
Connie! Where's your bikini bottom?
在的被"骆驼趾"夹进去了
It's right here. My camel toe's eating it.
指女性内♥裤♥太紧私处看上去就好像是骆驼的脚趾
看见没?
See?
我带了个充气娃娃来练习
I got this love doll to help us practice.
你先上给我看看
Now show me your moves.
什么动静啊? 你屁♥股♥还放阴屁啊?
What is that noise? Is your ass queefing?
人家的菊花一放松就会发出声音嘛
My butthole makes sounds when it's relaxed.
给我夹紧了
Clench that bitch!
接下来的可是既危险又刺♥激♥啊
Now what we about to do is a dangerous dance.
我往左你就往右
When I go left, you go right.
我玩上面你来下面
When I go up, you go down.
我亲嘴你舔菊
When I'm in the mouth, you go South.
我走水路你去旱路准备好没?
When I go pink, you go stink. Ready?
一... 二...
One... two...
好比你快
Ah! I won!
Steve 别跟我说你完事了
Steve, don't tell me you nutted.
问Ethel的第一个问题
Our first question for Ethel
来自前NBA明星 37个娃儿的爹肖恩•坎普
will come from ex-NBA star and father of 37, Shawn Kemp.
这对奶♥子♥我喜欢 - 这不算是提问吧
I like them titties. - That's not actually a question.
这对奶♥子♥... 窝喜欢?
I like them... titties?
还是不算提问你只是升了个调嘛
Still not a question. You just went up at the end.
我来提问吧
I'll ask the question.
《末路狂花》大烂片 (苏珊主演的女权片)
Ethel 你觉得今日女性所面临的最迫切的问题是什么?
Ethel, what do you think is the most pressing issue facing young women today?
我提名苏珊的奶♥子♥得"耷拉奖"
雪莉•桑德伯格曾说... - 谢谢
I'd like to quote Sheryl Sandberg... - Thank you.
现任Facebook首席运营官
Connie 还是这个问题
Connie, same question.
上帝保佑我军保佑小狗狗
God bless the troops. And puppies!
Ethel 给老子用心点
Ethel, get your shit together
那个妻管严的坏蛋会杀了我的
or that pussy-whipped gangster's gonna kill me.
雪天使
Snow angel!
螃蟹步
Crab walk!
空翻蝶
Spin cycle!
一杆进洞
Go for the "O!"
埃菲尔铁塔
Eiffel tower!
我觉得我可以了
I think I'm ready.
我一招都没弄错过 - 你的确可以
I didn't mess up once. - You are ready.
在这种地方都能精神集中的话在哪都没问题的
And if you can keep your focus here, you can do it anywhere.
床垫大甩卖♥♥ 七五折
♪ 不知何地 ♪
♪ I don't know where ♪
♪ 不知何时 ♪
♪ I don't know when ♪
♪ 但我深知爱将开始 ♪
♪ but I know something's about to begin ♪
♪ 睁眼看清用心感应 ♪
♪ look and you'll know ♪
♪ 某天我会深驻你心 ♪
♪ some day I'll go inside your world ♪
肖恩我有了 | 我也是
跟我比啊你个婊
Beat that, bitch.
下一位 Ethel Anderson
Next up, Ethel Anderson.
赞冠军收入囊中
Yes! Now it's in the bag.
Connie的蠢脸就该藏在囊里
Where Connie's face belongs.
懂嘛? Malloy 老子现在平步青云
Eh? Malloy, I'm writing all my own shit now!
又错了 Woodrow 我在改写剧本了
Wrong again, Woodrow. I'm making some changes.
这场选美大赛马上会丑恶百出
This beauty pageant's about to get ugly.
是嘛? 谁死了轮着你做制片人了?
Oh, yeah? Who died and made you producer?
制片人咯
The producer.
清洁工干的
Cleaning lady did it.
就知道她还窝火呢
Yeah, I guess she's still pissed at me
因为我让她打扫马桶... 当时我还在用
'cause I made her clean the toilet... while I was still on it.
嗨伙计们
Hi, guys.
甭理他他一紧张就咯咯傻笑
Oh, don't mind him. When he gets nervous he giggles.
别紧张嘛我们需要的是彻底的放松
Don't be nervous. We just need to loosen up.
反正我只需要鸡... 尾酒
I know I could use a cock... tail.
今晚玩得愉快
To a fun night.
发生什么了? 我们这是在哪?
What happened? Where are we?
我擦嘞这婊♥子♥疯了
Holy shit! This bitch crazy!
Tammy? - Tammy死了
Tammy? - Tammy's gone.
我是蛋碎女王蛋疼情妇
I am Lady Ballcrusher, mistress of pain!
你俩现在是我的奴隶了
You two are now my slaves!
你... 你干嘛要这么做?
Wh-why are you doing this?
统治傻缺男人让我浴火焚身
It turns me on to dominate stupid men.
人家才不傻缺咧 - 闭嘴
I'm not a stupid men. - Shut up!
全都跪下像平时一样给我人模狗样起来
Now get on your hands and knees and act like the dogs you are!
Steve 她说让咱们人模狗样没说让你闻我菊花
Steve, just 'cause she told us to be dogs don't mean you have to sniff my ass.
她说让我们咋地?
She told us what now?
欢迎各位欢迎各位欢迎各位
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!
来到国家公园小姐选美大赛总决赛现场
To the final event of the Miss national park beauty pageant!
下笼子
Cue the cage.
钢铁之笼生死决战
A steel cage death match!
最后一名站立的选手将成为...
Last contestant standing will be...
国家公园小姐
Miss national park!
搞毛啊 Malloy? - 给我慢着
What the hell, Malloy? - Wait a minute.
你的妞儿还想对阵那个红毛大脚怪?
Your girl against that orange bigfoot?
我看我还是抄起玻璃棒
Well, I might as well take the glass rod
直接插♥进♥你软软小菊菊里算了
and shove it up your fingle-fangle right now!
我的啥?
My what?
卧♥槽♥ 漏了老婆大人一个电♥话♥
Oh, shit. Missed a call from the wife.
她肯定得毛了我先逃了
She's gonna be pissed. I gotta run.
等等软软小菊菊是啥啊?
Wait! What's a fingle-fangle?
放武器
Cue the weapons.
让饥饿游戏开始吧
Let the Hunger Games begin!
这才称得上是大赛
Now this is what I call a pageant.
嗷呜嗷呜汪汪
Woof! Woof! Arf! Arf!
我们还得这么着多久啊? - 闭嘴阿黄
How much longer do we have to do this? - Shut up, Fido!
我应该是阿黄吧
Uh, I thought I was Fido.
该喂你们狗食了去去就来
Time for your kibble. Be right back.
真特么受够了 - 眼光放长远点 Denzel
Man, I've had enough of this shit. - Eyes on the prize, Denzel.
过不了多久我们就能玩三人同床啦
It shouldn't be long till we have our threesome.
她好好惹火噢
And she is so hot.
你们特么什么人? - 我是阿黄他是火火
Who the [Bleep] are you? - I'm Fido. He's Sparky.
你们是要干我老婆嘛?
Are you two screwing my wife?
不然我们干嘛来了 - Steve
That's why we're here. - Steve!
抱歉不然汪们干嘛来了汪
Oh, sorry. Rat's rhy re're rere!
我宰了你们混账 - 汪呜
I'll kill you bastards! - Ruh-roh.
你敢宰一个试试
Oh, you're not killing anyone.
发生什么了 Tammy? 你劈腿了嘛?
What's going on, Tammy? Are you cheating on me?
闭嘴这俩货是来玩三人同床的