脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E04

Part 2 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

Oh, my god.
简直不可思议看来最后一位参赛者出现了
That's amazing. Looks like we filled our last slot.
真厉害
Very impressive.
派... 派特•萨加克?
P-p-pat Sajak?
这是他第一天上幼儿园的照片
And this is his first day of kindergarten.
我想大家都知道他坐的是什么车
I think we all know what bus he was riding.
那天我去了六趟学校
I had to come to school six times that day.
因为他想妈咪了吗?
Because he missed his mommy?
不因为他17岁以前啥都不吃就吃我的奶头
No, because he refused to consume anything but my breast milk until he was 17.
都是你逼我吃的
You made me do that!
你说固体食物会让我得小儿麻痹症
You said solid food would give me polio.
再说一遍 Woodrow?
What's that, Woodrow?
呃妈妈的奶奶好香甜呀
Uh, mommy milk is nummy yummy.
天哪里来了这么一位皮肤皱巴骨头软塌的美女?
Damn, who's the kinky hottie with the wrinkly body?
噢不噢不不别打她主意不要
Oh, no. Oh, no, no. No, you don't. No way.
请叫我Denzel
Call me Denzel.
天呐
Oh, my.
哎呀你一定是这世上最可爱的年轻人吧?
Well, aren't you just the sweetest young man?
我叫Anita Johnson
Anita Johnson.
很好因为一会儿你肯定会被我惊艳到的
Good, 'cause you about to get a big one.
你确实是个令人惊艳的小伙子
You certainly come on strong.
我还有很多地方能惊艳到你呢带你见识见识呗?
Oh, I come on a lot of things. Want me to show you?
够了 Denzel 快滚出去
All right, Denzel. Get out of here!
噢我的宝贝来脾气了
Oh, my baby's upset.
没准他需要来点妈妈那甜甜的奶奶
Maybe he needs some of mommy's nummy yummy.
说得对 Malloy
Great idea, Malloy.
不用不用我早餐吃不少了
Oh, no, no, no! I had a big breakfast.
快吸 Woodrow
Suck it, Woodrow.
这奶过期了
Milk's gone bad.
那我... 什么时候再来录节目?
So, uh, what time should I be here for the taping?
Connie 保险理算员告诉我们
Connie, the insurance adjuster is telling us
我们放把火把这楼给烧了是最明智的
The smartest thing to do would be to set fire to this building.
就连这大楼底下的土地
Even the soil on which this building stands
都会因此贫瘠化数代人无法于此耕种
Has been rendered barren for generations to come.
简而言之就是不会录节目了
So short answer, there will be no taping.
不给你录永远不录消失吧
Not for you, not ever, please go.
不我不能走
No! I can't go!
这是我的梦想
This is my dream!
这儿来了个瞎转的麻了她把她带走
We got a spinner. Tranq her and yank her.
破产
妈咪听我说你得离Denzel这家伙远点
Mommy, listen. You got to stay away from this Denzel guy.
他很危险
He's trouble.
相信我他每天早上都会吃老妪
Trust me, he eats old ladies for breakfast.
噢你不用和我说啦儿子
Oh, you don't need to tell me, son.
他现在就在吃我呢
He's doing that to me right now.
咋的 Woody?
'Sup, Woody?
你这狗畜生我♥干♥♥死♥你♥
You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!
Woody 住手哪儿有这么对爸爸的?
Woody, stop. That's no way to treat your father.
我爸爸?
My father?
你没听明白? 我们结婚了
Oh, you didn't hear? We got married.
我现在是你老爹
I'm your daddy.
早上好呀儿子
Good morning, son.
但愿昨晚你♥妈♥的♥尖叫没害你睡不着
I hope all that screaming your mama did last night didn't keep you up.
我没听到 - 是嘛?
I didn't notice. - Really?
那你总该听到我的蛋蛋...
Well, how about the sound of my balls
撞她那又肥又老的屁♥股♥了吧?
Slapping against her big old ass?
这你肯定听得见
You had to hear that.
我知道你在想什么
I know what you're doing.
你只不过是拿这套来报复我让你演奴隶这事
You're just getting back at me for the whole slave thing
但你做得太过分了 Denzel
But you have gone too far, Denzel.
拜托叫我老爹
Please, call me daddy.
我叫你个狗东... 懂得儿子的最佳老爹
I'll call you a son of a-- bestest daddy in the whole wide world.
早上好呀男孩们
Good morning, boys.
早啊宝贝
Morning, baby.
没想到你这老腰还挺得起来
I'm surprised you can walk straight.
嘿小伙子快去厨房♥给老爹拿罐啤酒来
Hey, boy, run into the kitchen and grab your daddy a beer.
你没权利对我指手划脚
You are not the boss of me!
Woodrow Denzel现在是你♥爸♥爸
Woodrow, Denzel is your father now
他说什么你就得做什么明白?
And you're going to do what he says. Understand?
但是... 明白妈咪
But... Yes, mommy.
就让我和你享受天伦之乐吧我的儿
Me and you, we're gonna have a lot of fun, son.
你好派特
Hi, Pat.
傻瓜绑♥架♥指南
我这是在哪?
Where am I?
救命来人救救我
Help. Someone help me!
放轻松派特
Relax, Pat.
我们会成为好朋友的
We're going to be best friends.
你? 你是那个喷屎的娘们儿
You? You're the shit woman.
你要做什么?
What do you want?
摸上去就和看上去一样完美
It feels as perfect as it looks.
快滚开你个疯狂跟踪狂
Get away from me, you crazy stalker.
我可不是疯狂跟踪狂
I'm not a crazy stalker.
你问问背面小派吧
Just ask Back-Pat.
你好派特我是背面小派
Well, hello there, Pat. I'm Back-Pat.
听着我不知道你想从我这儿得到什么
Look, I'm not sure what you want from me
但是... - 快回礼派特
but-- - Say hello back, Pat.
我不明白你是让"背面小派"再打招呼呢
I'm confused. Are you telling Back-Pat to say hello again
还是让我向"背面小派"打招呼?
Or do you want me to say hello back to Back-Pat?
别特么耍嘴皮姓萨的
Don't [bleep] with me, Sajak.
虽然我爱你爱你这除过皱的小嫩皮儿
Just because I love you and your smooth botoxed skin
耍花招我一样会拆了你的后脊梁
Doesn't mean I won't snap your goddamn spine!
小心喔我觉得她有病
Be careful. I think she's crazy.
嘿你搞毛啊? 我在看冰球赛呢
Hey! What are you doing? I'm watching the hockey game.
给我闭肛
Shut your ass up!
哎呦白种人呐
Man, white people.
你们懂的
You know what I'm saying?
这特么有什么好笑啊?
What's so goddamn funny?
儿子别吵
Quiet, boy.
白唉唉唉唉种人哪
Whi-I-I-I-I-ite people!
真没想到还有这么一手
I did not see that coming.
老子受不了啦
I can't take this crap!
受够你这些狗屁了 - 住手
I'm sick of your bullshit! - Stop it!
不管喜不喜欢咱现在是一家人了
Like it or not, we are a family now.
今天你俩必须好好相处一下
You two need to spend the day together
拿出个父子的样儿
Like father and son.
可是妈咪... - Anita 我可不想这样
But, mommy-- - Oh, Anita, I don't want to.
这事没商量
No arguments!
遵命陛下
Yes, ma'am.
怎么不高兴啊 Malloy?
Oh, what's the matter, Malloy?
粑粑和Denzel爷爷掐架呢
Daddy and grandpa Denzel were fighting.
好怕怕哟好奶奶
I'm scared, gam-gam.
你这只可怜小熊仔儿
Oh, you poor little bear.
拿去花这叠百元大钞是从Woody内♥裤♥抽屉里找到的
Here, I found this stack of hundreds in woody's underwear drawer.
白种人啊你们懂的
White people. You know what I'm saying.
一个给我一个给派特
One for me and one for Pat
四个给我一个给派特
And four for me and one for Pat.
Connie 你干嘛呢?
Connie, what are you doing?
你拿了十人份的食物哎
You're taking enough food for ten people.
通常你只拿九人份的
You usually only take enough for nine.
有一个很好的理... 呃... 很好的解...
Um, there's a good re-- uh, a good explana--
电视巨星派特•萨加克神秘失踪已进入第二天
Day two in the mysterious disappearance of television icon Pat Sajak.
失踪
最后露面是在旅馆
Last seen at his hotel
证人声称当时附近有某种巨型橙色海牛出没
witnesses report seeing some sort of giant orange sea cow in the vicinity.
警方素描
Connie在囤食物派特•萨加克与此同时失踪了?
Connie's hoarding food, and Pat Sajak is missing?
Steve 你盘算清楚没有?
Steve, are you doing the math on this?
清了
Yes.
奶♥子♥一对
Boobies!
计算器上摁出5318008 倒着看像英文BOOBIES
这儿风景挺好哒
It is kind of nice out here.
我来这儿全是我妈♥逼♥的
I'm only here because mommy's making me.
我的烂人榜上永远有你大名
You are on my everlasting shit list!