脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

早上好 浆糊脑 抽搐哥 宿醉姐 拉拉大水牛
Greetings, Shit for Brain, Dances with Rhythm, Morning After, and Gay Buffalo.
马屌♥大酋长给你们带来了好消息
Big Chief Horse Dick come bearing big news.
在被关闭15年之后
15 years after being shut down
脆莓夏令营终于要重新开张了
we're finally reopening Camp Brickleberry
而你们都将成为夏令营指导员
and you're all gonna be camp counselors.
好啊 - 好
Yes! -Yes!
Woody 这公园对孩子来说太危险了
Woody, this park is a dangerous place for children.
你的子♥宫♥不也是
So is your uterus.
是Jackubowski想要重开夏令营
Jackubowski wants the camp reopened.
Woody战友 现内政部秘♥书♥长♥ 详见S3E6
顺便公园也能从傻缺爹妈手中狠狠赚上一笔
And it gives the park a chance to make a buttload of money off some sucker parents.
所以你们死也要给我陪孩子们玩好
So you sure as shit better show them a good time.
所以我们除了常规工作 还得围着小孩团团转?
So we're supposed to chase these kids around and do all this extra work?
有啥好处?
What do we get?
一周后带出最佳团队的指导员将赢得...
Well, the counselor whose tribe is voted the best at the end of the week wins...
传奇的部落神盾
the legendary tribal shield.
好像哪个有脑子的人能被个破垃圾桶盖给说动似的
Like anyone with a brain could be motivated by a painted trash can lid.
我赢定了 - 不 这是我的
I'm winning this! - No, it's mine!
都别碰我的涂鸦垃圾桶盖
Hands off my painted trash can lid!
别吵了 白♥痴♥们 穿上这个
Settle down, morons! Put these on.
Woody 我咋... 没T恤呢
Woody, I, uh, didn't get a shirt.
打死我也不会再让你当指导员了
There's no way I'm letting you be a counselor again.
当初就是你害我们的夏令营被关张了
You're the reason we had to close the camp in the first place.
怎么回事?
What happened?
往事历历在目 仿若15年前发生的一样
I remember it like it happened 15 years ago.
Steve?
Steve?
不好意思 还以为你们能看到我的脑内小♥电♥影♥
Oh, sorry. I thought you guys could see my brain movie.
每年夏天 整个夏令营都会陷入一场激战
Every summer the entire camp would compete against each other
竞争于夏令营比赛之母: 铁血闯天关
in the mother of all camp competitions-- the Gauntlet.
铁血闯天关 起点
我们输定了 - 我知道一条捷径
We're gonna lose. - I know a shortcut.
你确定吗? 牌子上写着"雷区"呢
Are you sure about this? This sign says "mine field."
英语中"地雷"与"我的"是同一个单词
我的区 你的区 管它这是谁的区
Mine field, your field, I don't care whose field it is.
进去就是了
Get in there!
这都够拍一部恐怖脑内小♥电♥影♥了
This is gonna make for a scary brain movie.

脆莓公园
♢ 白云苍狗 ♢ 偏执绝非过错
♢ 井脑湿 ♢ MaxPayen999
♢ 旗木 联合译制
好了 指导员们 都精神点
All right, counselors, look sharp.
黄色大校车来了
Here comes that big, yellow bus.
那是Connie
That's Connie.
又要当指导员真是太激动了
I'm so excited to be a counselor again.
滚蛋 Steve
Beat it, Steve.
不是说不让你当指导员了嘛
I told you you're not allowed to be a counselor.
达豪集中营里死的孩子都没你手上的多
[bleep] Dachau killed less campers than you.
二战时期纳粹德国最早建立的集中营
这次会不一样的
It'll be different this time.
我保证会成为绝世好导员
I promise to be the world's best counselor.
看咱的T恤
Look at my shirt.
请君入菊
"请君入菊"?
"Free assgasms"?
诶哟 穿反了呢
Whoops. Have it on backwards.
你穿反的不光这一件吧
That's not all you have on backwards.
求你嘛 Woody 给我个将功补过的机会
Come on, Woody. Let me redeem myself.
我保证这次我会做绝世好导员
I promise this time I'll be the world's best counselor
绝不让手底下的孩子受到任何伤害
which means no kid will get hurt on my watch.
如果还不信我的话...
But if you need some convincing...
请君入菊
快滚犊子吧 Steve
Oh, shut the [bleep] up, Steve.
这次夏令营什么主题?
So what kind of camp is this?
什么主题都有
Every kind!
减肥营 残障营
Fat camp, handicap camp
富二代营 城中阿飞营
rich-kid camp, and inner-city-delinquents camp.
暗指富裕的白人都住在郊区而相对贫穷的黑人则聚居在城里
我给每个阶层发了不同的宣传册
I sent a different brochure to every demographic.
"来减肥夏令营吧 不然你就会成这样"
"Come to fat camp, or you'll end up like this."
我上宣传册了
I'm on a brochure.
太好了 太好了 太好了 太好了
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
铁血闯天关?
The Gauntlet?
你不会又让孩子们参加那个恐怖的比赛吧?
You're not letting the kids do that horrible event again, are you?
当然不会 Steve 太危险了
Hell, no, Steve. Too dangerous.
铁血闯天关可以永世瞑目了
The Gauntlet is retired forever.
放进宣传册里是为了骗那些小屁孩的
I just put it on the brochure to get them little shits here.
欢迎来到脆莓公园
Welcome to Brickleberry
让孩子的夏天 别有洞天
where your child's summer won't be a bummer.
要我说 你这儿和图片上可不太一样啊
I have to say, it looks much different than the pictures.
别担心
Don't you worry.
今夏将成为你家孩子一生中最好的夏天
This is gonna be the best summer of your kid's life.
我知道 你都在宣传册里说过无效退款了嘛
I know it will because of the money-back guarantee you put on the brochures.
尼玛 忘了册子里还写了这个
God damn it, I forgot I put that on there.
以后可不能再在复印店里嗨了
I got to stop getting coked up at Kinko's.
好啊 营员们 我是Woody大酋长
How, campers. I'm big Chief Woody.
谁准备好享受史上最赞的夏天 为传奇的部落神盾而战了?
Who's ready to have the best summer ever and compete for the legendary tribal shield?
现在我来为你们分配部落
Let's just get you sorted into your tribes.
比棕土色还要黑的 去找Denzel
Anyone darker than raw umber, go with Denzel.
好嘞 肖尼们 给我一点爱
All right, Shawnees. Show me some love.
肖尼: 同随后的马斯科吉和切诺基一样均为印第安部落
我们要赢得部落神盾
We gonna win that tribal shield.
长着80年代电影里恶人相的富二代们 去找Ethel
Rich kids that look like villains from an '80s movie, go with Ethel.
到这儿来 马斯科吉们
Over here, Muskogees.
我们要完爆别的部落
We will crush the other tribes!
我叫Chad 你可能认得我
I'm Chad. You probably recognize me.
七岁时我拍过一条披萨饺广♥告♥
When I was seven, I did a P'Zone commercial.
不忍♥打击 但你们剩下这帮人都是怪胎 有事找Connie
Hate to break it to you, but the rest of you are weirdos. You're going with Connie.
耶 切诺基们
Yay, Cherokees.
我很肯定我们什么也赢不到
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're not gonna win anything.
我的孩子们呢 Woody?
So where are my kids, Woody?
你把他们都害死了 还记得吗?
You killed them all, remember?
给我消失 蠢蛋
Get out of here, dumbass!
算了吧 Woody 谁都应该有第二次机会的
Come on, Woody, everybody deserves a second chance.
他可以做我的副指导员
He can be my co-counselor.
好耶 谢谢了 Connie
Yes! Thanks, Connie.
好吧 爱咋咋地
Fine, whatever.
但不许让任何一个孩子受伤 听到没 Steve?
But not a single fatality, you hear me, Steve?
不会让你失望的 Woody
I won't let you down, Woody.
卧♥槽♥
Holy shit.
请不要担心
Don't worry about a thing.
这小家伙会得到特别照顾的
This little guy's gonna get extra-special treatment.
人家就喜欢有权力的男人
Ooh, I like a man with authority.
老子就喜欢口不择食的女人
And I like a woman who can unhinge her jaw.
滚蛋 小混球
Beat it, you little shit!
Woody Johnson - Tiffany
Woody Johnson. - I'm Tiffany.
那Tiffany 不如你在园里多转转
Well, Tiffany, how's about you stick around
晚上咱去我的小屋共进晚餐?
and have dinner with me tonight in my cabin?
一言为定 回见哟
Ooh, it's a date. See you then.
等等 白皮猪 你混进黑人堆里做甚?
Hold it, honky. What are you doing with the black kids?
我是黑人
I am black.
只是色素分泌失调 所以...
I have a pigmentation disorder that causes my--
够了 白化病秧子 滚过去和怪胎们站一道
All right, Albino Roker. Just get over there with the rest of the weirdos.
好了 孩子们 记好了
Okay, kids, now, remember
Woody酋长会监督并记下你们的行动
Chief Woody will be watching and keeping tabs.
表现得好 你就能为部落争得宝贵分数来换取部落神盾
Everything you do well earns your tribe valuable points for the tribal shield.
Malloy会负责计分工作
Malloy here will be keeping score.
明白 计分吧
On it. Points!
现在让我们畅游到这狂野的仙境里吧
Now it's time for a tour of our wilderness wonderland.
这是镇上两位神厨用来愉悦你们味蕾的地儿
Here is where the two best cooks in the county will delight your taste buds--
我们的食堂
our mess hall.
meth: 冰♥毒♥
那个... 是食堂啊 - 这就说得通了
Oh, mess hall. - Yeah, that makes more sense.
头顶上是我们州的必修课: 爬绳
Above you is our state-of-the-art ropes course.
这和手册上说的完全就是两码事
This doesn't look anything like the brochure.
说好的游戏机室和30米水滑道呢?
Where are the arcades and the 100-foot waterslides?
水滑道咱有啊
We have waterslides!