脆莓公园（2012）
Brickleberry
第三季
剧集 | 脆莓公园（2012） | 导航列表
脆莓公园（2012）
Brickleberry S03E07
Part 1
Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.
脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版
敬这屁事也没得庆祝的一天
Here's to having nothing to celebrate.
其实今天是我生日呢
Actually, today's my birthday.
我就说吧 屁事也没得庆祝
Like I said, nothing to celebrate!
嘿 怎么不见Malloy?
Hey, where's Malloy?
他不能进来 我把他拴外边了
Eh, he couldn't be here. He got tied up.
禁止宠物入内
Woody会有好果子吃的
I'm going to get Woody for this.
天呐
Oh, god!
你干嘛那个样子盯着我?
Why are you looking at me like that?
你放口红的地方还真是奇特
That is an odd place to keep your lipstick.
怎么了 伙计?
What's the matter, buddy?
干预: 一群朋友聚在一起 针对某人的问题进行纾解
是不是还因为那次干预不高兴呢?
Are you still bummed about your episode of intervention?
Steve 我们在这里是因为我们爱你
Steve, we're here because we all love you
但拜托不要再戴着我们打飞机了
But you've got to stop jizzing inside us.
抱歉 可感觉真的爽死了
I'm sorry. It just feels so good.
爽死了?
Feels good?
老子都硬成石头了 你个死变♥态♥
I'm stiff as a board, you freaky bastard!
不啊 是因为Ethel
Nah, it's Ethel.
你也知道我多喜欢她 可她一直都当我是空气
You know how much I like her, but she won't give me the time of day.
现在又和天拉维总裁拍拖上了
Now she's dating the CEO of Skymall.
Skymall: 美国电子商务零售商
他到底有啥我没有的? - 能打电♥话♥的鞋?
What does he have that I don't? - Telephone shoes?
你说得对 我根本没机会
You're right. I don't stand a chance.
Steve 你必须在女人低落时 [躺下时] 趁虚而入
Steve, you got to get women when they're down.
我就那么做的 字面意思上
That's what I do, literally.
老太婆的求救电♥话♥都会呼叫转移到我这儿
I get life alert calls forwarded to my phone.
我摔倒了 站起不来了
I've fallen, and I can't get up!
试试看能不能把内♥裤♥脱掉 我马上就到
See if you can slip your panties off. I'll be there in a minute.
看起来是个再普通不过的太阳能风扇遮阳帽
It may look like an ordinary fan-cooled solar safari hat
但同时也是垃圾桶
But it's also a litter box.
天拉维
Skymall!
太厉害了
That's amazing.
我前两天还和朋友说 想要一顶能让喵星人拉屎的帽子呢
I was just telling a friend that I wish I had a hat that a cat could shit in.
天拉维
Skymall!
听我说 虽然我们只约会了几次 但...
Listen, I know we've only been on a couple of dates, but...
我真能看到我们的未来
I see a real future for us.
早想到你会这么说 所以我带了这个
I thought you might say that. That's why I got you this.
天啊 我的回答是 我愿...
Oh, my god! The answer is ye--
这是全世界最迷你的白噪音生成器
It's the world's smallest white noise machine.
什么? 那我们的未来呢?
What? But what about us?
玩完了 哥还不急着吊死在哪棵树上
We're done. I'm not ready to settle down.
不过你可以用这玩意儿生成暴雨的声音 好盖过你的哭声
But you can set this to heavy rain to mask the sound of your tears.
你要和我分手?
You're breaking up with me?
对
天拉维
Skymall!
给我拿来
Give me that.
Steve 你机会来了
Steve, now's your chance.
Ethel情绪比阿贝•维高达左边的蛋耷拉得还厉害
Ethel's lower than Abe Vigoda's left nut.
美国演员 现年93岁
她下瓶酒记我账上
Her next bottle's on me.
不不 会再联♥系♥你的 我保证
No, I'll call you, I promise.
我们刚在厕所来了一发 哥闪人了
We just [bleep] in the bathroom. I'm out!
你确定你这样子能开车吗?
Are you sure you're okay to drive?
你确定你♥他♥妈♥能只管好自己的事嘛?!
Are you sure you're okay to mind your own goddamn business?
我没事
I'm fine.
开得很好 Johnson 不要超出两边的线就好
You're doing good, Johnson. Just keep it between the lines.
诶 操蛋 Malloy 快过来开车
Oh, crap. Malloy, quick! Get behind the wheel!
Malloy
Malloy!
红色不是代表"停"嘛
I thought red meant stop!
♢ 症 ♢ 偏执绝非过错
♢ 井脑湿 ♢ MaxPayen999
♢ 旗木 联合译制
我昨晚干了什么?
What did I do last night?
我进过你身子了
I was inside of you.
Steve到此一游
还有这里
上帝啊
Oh, god!
没事 Ethel 不要慌张
Okay, Ethel, don't panic.
你知道该怎么做
You know what to do.
听着 Steve 这事儿谁都不准告诉
Listen, Steve, you can't tell anyone about this.
为啥? 昨晚是我们生命中最赞的一夜
Why not? It was the best night of our lives.
不 绝对不是
No, it was not.
漂白剂
我喝多酒 犯了大错
I had too much to drink, and I made a mistake.
给我老实闭紧你的嘴
So keep your mouth shut.
瞧瞧你把我当什么人了
What kind of guy do you think I am?
今晚 Steve Williams音乐剧《我上了Ethel》
♪ 我上了Ethel 我上了Ethel ♪
♪ I [bleep] Ethel I [bleep] Ethel ♪
♪ 我是上过Ethel的人啦 ♪
♪ I [bleep] Ethel, yeah! ♪
我♥干♥嘛花钱看这种东西?
Why did I pay to see this?
我没订过《牛皮癣周刊》啊
I don't subscribe to Psoriasis Weekly.
嗨 小甜心
Hey, love bagel.
美国演员
我这本维戈•莫特森的底裤写♥真♥咖啡伴侣读物应该放哪儿?
Where should I put my Viggo Mortensen up-skirt-shot coffee-table book?
Steve 你要搬来和我同居吗?
Steve, are you trying to move in?
我们做过爱 不是嘛?
We had sex, didn't we?
举♥行♥漫威英雄主题婚礼前 住在一起还不是早晚的事么
It's only a matter of time before we have our marvel heroes wedding.
Steve 醒醒吧
Steve, wake up!
一场酒后乱性不代表我们就是情侣了
Just because we had drunken mistake sex doesn't mean we're in a relationship.
是这样嘛? 那为什么我还买♥♥了情侣墓碑?
Really? Then why did I buy us those his-and-her tombstones?
2016年我们死于自杀式谋杀
We die by murder-suicide in 2016.
想想就兴奋
I'm so excited!
真不敢相信那个酒驾审理官竟判我做社区服务
I can't believe that DUI judge gave me community service.
你醉醺醺开进了法♥院♥
You drove to court drunk.
我喝酒是因为我紧张
I drink when I'm nervous
以及悲伤
And sad
以及抓狂
and mad
以及高兴
and happy.
♪ 我是酒鬼妥妥滴 哒哒哒哒哒嘟 ♪
♪ I'm an alcoholic, da-da-da-da-da-doo ♪
不 我嗜酒成性了
No, really, I have a problem.
没错 整整一晚把我拴在门柱上
Yeah. You left me tied to a post all night.
那条罗威纳狗现在一个劲儿给我发诡异语♥音♥
Now this rottweiler won't stop leaving me creepy voice mails.
让我跪舔吧
Let me suck it.
我搞不懂 Denzel
I don't get it, Denzel.
还以为只要在Ethel身体里播种 她就会甘心成为我的人呢
I thought once Ethel had some Steve in the beav, she'd never leave.
至少你上过她了
Hey, at least you got some.
想想Connie多难受吧
Think about how Connie feels.
她也爱Ethel很多年了
She's been in love with Ethel for years.
我早就看淡了
Oh, I'm totally over it.
插个题外话 如果一定会在工作场所被谋杀
Off topic, if you guys had to get murdered in the workplace
你们喜欢被自动步♥枪♥扫射 还是喜欢被大砍刀斩首?
Would you prefer an AR-15 or being hacked up with a machete?
我猜他们两样都喜欢
I think they want both.
怀孕 | 未怀孕
我还在你身子里呢
I'm still inside you.
都别进去
Don't go in there.
我... 拉了一大坨恶臭至极的便便
I, uh... Made a fat, smelly shit.
真是太尴尬了
So embarrassing.
远不及你曾和堪比一大坨恶臭便便的人打炮尴尬
Not as embarrassing as the fact that you made love to a fat, smelly shit.
这蘸糖棒尝起来一股尿臊味
Mmm, this Fun Dip tastes like piss.
那是验孕棒 你个脑残
That's a pregnancy test, you dumb son of a bitch.
我的天啊 Ethel怀上我的孩子了
Oh, my god! Ethel's gonna have my baby!
恭喜了 伙计 这婊♥子♥逃不掉了
Congrats, buddy! Way to trap that bitch!
没错 我真替你们感到高兴
Yeah, I'm really happy for you.
实话说 Steve 这事我想了很多
Actually, Steve, I thought a lot about this
就在过去的30秒里
In the last 30 seconds
我觉得我还没准备好要个小孩
And I don't think I'm ready to have a kid.
但能容我说句话吗?
But don't I get a say?
我从没堕过胎 咱俩的就更不会了
I'd never abort a baby, especially ours.
抱歉 Steve 这事不由你说得算
Sorry, Steve. It's just not your decision.
凭什么? 我是孩子父亲
Why not? I'm the father.
有什么关系嘛? 我的身子 我做主
That doesn't matter. My body, my choice.
但Ethel 没了孩子 也就没有咱们俩了
But, Ethel, if there's no baby, there's no us.
一点不错 我已经和镇上最好的诊所约诊了
Exactly-I've already made an appointment at the best clinic in town.
Kuzniak医生堕胎车兼玉米卷车
堕胎 玉米卷一体车 就是镇子上最好的诊所?
An abortionmobile taco truck is the best clinic in town?
脆莓公园（2012）
Brickleberry
剧集 | 脆莓公园（2012） | 导航列表