脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

瞧瞧我家的无政♥府♥主义小熊仔
Aw, look at my little cubs of anarchy.
是不是超想见见你的新车呀?
Are you excited about your new bike?
是啊 - 走着 小伙计
Yes. - Here you go, buddy.
这特么是啥鸟东西? 我要的是摩托车好吧
What the [Bleep] is that? I asked for a motorcycle.
Malloy 咱俩可都知道你还不够大
Malloy, we both know you're not big enough.
再说了 这个也挺酷的嘛
Besides, this is just as cool.
我是个大男孩 我是个大男孩
I'm a big boy. I'm a big boy.
我是不会上这货的 - 有了安全装备就能自♥由♥上了
I am not getting on that thing. - Not without your safety gear.
儿童安全装备
看起来蠢极了 大家会对我笑掉大牙的
I look ridiculous. Everybody's gonna laugh at me.
Malloy 才没人会笑话你呢
Malloy, no one's gonna laugh at you.
决定了 我要建一个杀人房♥间
That's it. I'm gonna go set up the kill room.
别忘了戴上户外安全帽
Don't forget your outside helmet.
爹地可要妥妥保护好治疗宠物呢
Daddy's gotta protect his little therapy pet.
你没死? - 是啊 死什么?
You're alive? - Yes. Why?
如果你两个小时没出勤的话 我们会默认你挂了
Oh, when you were two hours late, we assumed you were dead.
我们把你的讣告都写好了
We even wrote your obituary.
Steve Williams 活过 死过 胖过
"Steve Williams. Lived, died, fat."
这就完了?
That's it?
为啥不罗列一下我的生平成就?
Why didn't you list any of my accomplishments?
我们说胖了啊
Uh, we said fat.
我连续多年霸占月度最佳林警宝座的事怎么说?
How about the fact that I've been ranger of the month for years?
Steve 是时候该告诉你了 那个奖屁用没有
Steve, it's about time we told you. That award is meaningless.
你那奖牌是我们把饮料瓶盖涂成金色做的
Your medal is a snapple cap we painted gold.
天啊 我这一辈子果真什么事也没做成
Oh, my God. I haven't done anything with my life.
等我死了 没人能记住我的
When I'm dead, no one will remember me.
没人屌♥你的 Steve 我走了
Nobody gives a shit, Steve. I'm out of here.
别忘了你的气泡保护膜哟
Don't forget your bubble armor.
喘不上气了啊
I can't breathe!
玩的开心哟 小家伙 别跑出车道噢
Have fun, little buddy. Stay in the driveway.

脆莓公园
♢ 大颠 ♢ 偏执绝非过错
♢ 井脑湿 ♢ 白云苍狗 ♢旗木 联合译制
Woody 我这么大 早不适合听你的傻缺睡前故事了
Woody, I'm too big for your stupid bedtime stories.
"从前有个长了一撮浓密黄胡子的男人
"Once there was a man with a big, yellow mustache
他养了一只充满好奇心的毛绒小熊熊
and he had a curious little cubsy wubsy
它能帮他将脑中的恶魔深藏在海底
who kept the man's brain demons at bay.
要不是小熊熊 男人一天到晚都将无法忘怀...
Without his cuddles, the man would have to accept
战争期间 他用伊♥拉♥克♥人的牙齿和丁丁造了一个可以弹奏的钢琴
that during the war, he made a functioning piano out of Iraqi teeth and dicks.
剧终"
The end."
至少你还没读《小熊一族》恨死那帮犹太熊了
At least it wasn't the Berenstain Bears. I hate those Jews.
兰登书屋出版的少儿代表丛书
PS: 爹地明晚可没法给你掖被子咯
P.S. Daddy will not be here to tuck you in tomorrow
因为他要去脱衣舞俱乐部
'cause he's going to a strip club.
脱衣舞俱乐部? 我也想去 - 哇 别着急
The strip club? I wanna go. - Whoa, slow down.
你还太小 - 你这是万能挡箭牌啊
You're too small. - You say that about everything.
我家小熊熊是不是不敢一个人在家呀?
Aw, is my cubsy afraid to be home alone?
别担心 爹地早就安排好保姆伺候你了
Don't worry. Daddy has a babysitter all lined up for you.
我跟保姆一直处得不赖
That always works out well.
为了巧克力方 什么我都干得出来
That's what I'd do for a Klondike bar.
嘿 Steve 嘿 你特么干什么呢?
Hey, Steve. Hey, what the hell are you doing?
我意识到 我要在这个世界上留下印记
I realized I have to make my mark in the world.
要是Ray J录了一个和马做♥爱♥的带子就出名了 那我也能
If Ray J got famous for making a sex tape with a horse, then so can I.
美国Hip-hop歌♥星 曾曝性♥爱♥录影带风波
Steve 他上的不是马 是金•卡戴珊
Steve, that wasn't a horse. That was Kim Kardashian.
美国娱乐界名媛 2007年因性♥爱♥录影事件而爆红
那我还是找点别的路子让自己出名吧
I'll figure out some other way to make my mark.
喂 吉尼斯世界纪录吗? 我刚破了个纪录
Hello, Guinness? I just broke a record.
我往屁♥股♥里塞了39个钢镚
I stuck 39 rolls of dimes up my ass.
啥? 希安•拉博夫塞过40个? 妈的
What? Shia Labeouf did 40? Damn it!
美国电影 喜剧演员 曾主演《变形金刚》
褐丘奶♥子♥酒吧
有啥大不了的? 哥是恋物癖
What's the big deal? It's called a fetish!
停停停 知道自己要进的是什么地方么 小熊仔?
Eh, d-d-d-d. Where do you think you're going, little bear?
好吧 你这个我搞不清哪里口音的伙计
Well, man with the accent I can't place
我是来这儿看奶♥子♥的
I am here to see the titties.
你至少要和她剖腹产的刀疤一样高才行
You must be at least as tall as her C-section scar
够高你就来一发
不然就给老子滚
or else you [Bleep] off.
不过欢迎你来"Jorge单身妈咪脱衣舞娘日托所"玩耍
But you are welcome to play at Jorge's single mom stripper daycare.
Jorge单身妈咪脱衣舞娘日托所
居然有个许愿机
Hey, look, it's a wish machine.
好吧 "禁飞名单"先生 给你钱
All right, Mr. No fly list. Here goes.
讽刺911后美国的禁飞措施
我想长大
I wish I was big.
妈的
Damn.
所以我压根就不相信棕种人
See, this is why I don't trust brown people.
我不知道你还会玩吉他 - 我一忧伤就会弹吉他
I didn't know you played guitar. - It's what I do when I'm sad.
弹得相当不错呢 写过什么歌♥么?
You're really good. Have you written any songs?
有几首 挺想弹给你听的 不过...
A few. I'd love to perform them, but
感觉囧囧的
I'd be too embarrassed.
囧囧的? 你丫不都往屁♥股♥里塞过195美刀的钢镚么?
Too embarrassed? Didn't you shove $195 worth of dimes up your ass?
每次我放屁都像老虎机摇中三个7
Every time I fart, it's like I hit triple 7s.
没准这些歌♥就能让你火起来呢
Maybe your songs could put you on the map.
我认识些人 可以给你搞个现场
I got some contacts. I could get you a gig.
好吧 不过我得先拉泡钢镚屎
Okay, but first I gotta drop a deuce.
自助兑换零钱的机器
我们去找个换币机吧
We gotta find a coinstar.
早 Malloy - 早
Morning, Malloy. - Good morning.
我勒个大擦 你这是怎么了 Malloy?
What the [Bleep]? What happened to you, Malloy?
魔法真存在
Magic is real!
好了 Steve 为了帮你弄到这个活儿 我可费老大劲了
All right, Steve. I pulled a lot of strings to help get you this gig.
生日快乐
嘿 宝贝
Hey, baby.
这可是我女朋友孙子的庆生会 必须不能搞砸
It's my girlfriend's grandson's party, so don't screw it up.
甭担心 孩子们会喜欢的
Don't worry. The kids will love it.
我要给大家来一首我创作的歌♥唱山上干活人的歌♥
I'm doing a song I wrote about guys who work on a Mountain.
好嘞 秀给他们听吧
All right. Now go get 'em.
mountain谐音mounting 动词mount有性♥交♥之意
♪ 山里汉 我爱山里汉 ♪
♪ Mountain men I love Mountain men ♪
♪ 山里的Harry 山里的Tom 还有山里的Ben ♪
♪ mountin' Harry, mountin' Tom, and mountin' Ben ♪
♪ 和我最爱的伙计同住一个帐篷 ♪
♪ sharing a tent with my favorite dudes ♪
♪ 多想成为和你们一样的山里汉 ♪
♪ I want to be mountin' men like you ♪
♪ 他们汗涔涔毛浓浓 硬气如山石 ♪
♪ they're sweaty, hairy, and hard as a rock ♪
Steve 这特么啥玩意? 赶紧换点别的唱
Steve, what the hell? You better play something else quick!
适合孩子们听的歌♥
Something for the kids.
噢 我有首唱公鸡的小曲儿 - 快唱 快唱
Ooh, I've got a cute rooster song. - Do it! Do it!
♪ 我在谷仓里 玩我的那只鸡 ♪
♪ I'm in the barn, I'm playing with my cock ♪
♪ 男孩们排队都想玩我的鸡 ♪
♪ all the boys line up to pet my cock ♪
♪ 我的鸡雄壮冒红光 还有个大鸡头 ♪
♪ he's thick, he's red, he's got a big old head ♪
♪ 不如我直接掏出给你们看 ♪
♪ why don't I just show you instead? ♪
♪ 想看我大鸡的请举手 ♪
♪ raise your hand if you want to see my cock ♪
杀了他
Kill him!
快跑 Steve 快跑
Run, Steve, run!
我说啥了? 我说啥了?
What'd I say? What'd I say?
他们恨我 他们为什么会恨我?
They hate me. Why did they hate me?
Steve 不觉得你唱的歌♥有那么点...
Steve, didn't you think there was something...
基情四射吗?
queer about those songs?
我不过写了些老少皆宜的乡村歌♥曲 你看
I just write wholesome country songs. See?
Steve的歌♥本
《农场手♥枪♥》
"Farmhand Jobs."
《来我的后♥庭♥吧 兄弟》
"Come In My Back Door, Bubba."
《骑上那匹博洛尼亚小马》?
"Riding The Bologna Pony?"
博洛尼亚也是一种香肠
我说得没错吧? - 嗯 你知道不?
What'd I tell you? - Hmm. You know what?
我觉得你换个演出地点就行了
I think you just need a change of venue.
♪ 你说爱 ♪
♪ You say love ♪
♪ 很简单 ♪
♪ is easy ♪
but love谐音butt love 后♥庭♥之爱
♪ 但是爱很痛苦 ♪
♪ but love is painful ♪
♪ 但是爱会让你哭泣 ♪
♪ but love can make you cry ♪
♪ 但是爱会让你流血 ♪
♪ but love can leave you bloody ♪
♪ 爱不简单 ♪
♪ it's not easy ♪
♪ 但能充实你的身体 ♪
♪ but love fills you up inside ♪
或许美国大众已经准备好听我老少咸宜的纯洁乡村歌♥曲了
Maybe America is ready for my innocent, wholesome country songs.
而不是你们黑人那种唱起来就离不开性♥爱♥的淫歌♥
And not dirty songs that are all about sex like your people's music.
只要有我给你当经理 你就等着大红大紫吧
And with me as your manager, you're gonna be big.
昨晚的观众都爱死我了