脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E08

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

行吧下一位是Alexa
All right. Next we have Alexa.
Connie 你没事吧?
Connie, are you okay?
请把遮羞布掀起来
Lift your loincloth, please.
简直完美
It's perfect.
就像火腿片做成的玫瑰一样
Like a rose made of prosciutto.
Malloy 那些有钱的娘炮成天追着我屁♥股♥...
Malloy, those rich pole smokers are crawling up my ass
要我解决Steve和他那帮抢钱的死海狗
about Steve and his thieving band of salty shit-dogs.
我得把他和他那艘破船都弄走
I got to get him and his stupid ship out of here!
我们用这艘北极星核潜艇把那船轰飞怎么样?
Why don't we blow it up with this polaris nuclear sub?
能发射真鱼雷而且只要6.98刀
It fires real torpedoes, and it's only $6.98!
那特么是硬纸板做的好吧 Malloy
It's made of [bleep] cardboard, Malloy!
这又是搞毛?
What the hell was that?
我勒个去
Holy shit.
老子的房♥被轰烂了你们这群疯杂种
You blew up my house, you crazy son of a bitch!
请你...
Please...
收下吾深深的歉意
Accept this as my apology.
老天爷我该怎么办才好?
Oh, god. What am I gonna do?
我们来领酬金的
We here for reward.
你们里面有催眠师吗? - 我不是
Are any of you a hypnotist? - No.
不是我 - 我也不是
No, not me. - No, no, no.
我卖♥♥大魔怪哟
I sell mogwais.
都特么滚出
Get the hell out of here!
一大帮中国人对我有啥用处?
What am I supposed to do with a Chinese army?
我上了个海的有戏
Oh, holy Shanghai, that's it!
Steve想扮海盗老子就陪他扮到底
If Steve wants to play pirate, we'll play pirate.
海盗? 我们不会开"灰机"的
Pirate? We can't fly a "prane."
你们连听力都带口音吗?
So you even hear with an accent?
呣呣 Alexa
Mmm. Alexa.
呣呣火腿片
Mmm. Prosciutto.
Connie 醒醒是我
Connie, wake up! It's me!
我要趁大家都睡着溜到海边做个木筏逃命
I'm gonna sneak to the beach while everyone's asleep and build a raft to escape.
你要走? 为什么?
You're leaving? Why?
这里的事情有点蹊跷我觉得咱们可能有危险
There's something weird going on here. I think we might be in danger.
你就是嫉妒现在我成了美人你成了丑逼
You're just jealous because now I'm beautiful and you're the ugly one.
随便你怎么想老子要闪人了 - 好啊
Look, whatever! I'm out of here! - Fine!
等下 Denzel 帮我把这个捎给Alexa好不?
Wait, Denzel. Can you give this to Alexa for me?
削木是我的新手艺
I've taken up whittling.
嘿你是男的男人怎么会...
Hey, you're a man! What's a man doin--
♪ 呦吼吼来瓶兰姆酒 ♪
♪ yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum ♪
♪ 去趟动物园哥要日到腿抖 ♪
♪ let's swing by the zoo, I need to get some ♪
我爱死当海盗了终于可以自己擦屁♥股♥啦
I love being a pirate! I can finally wipe myself!
谁开车送我去医院?
Can somebody drive me to the hospital?
每人拿一把忍♥匕
Everybody grab a ginsu.
搞毛...
What the...?
谁想吃点豆不?
Uh, anybody want some beans?
你们找谁么?
Ha ha! Looking for someone?
嘿傻缺埋伏得不错啊
Hey, dumbass, nice ambush.
我们人数多你们三倍
We outnumber you three to one.
那是老天爷眷顾我们正好杀个痛快咯
Then I'd say the odds are squarely in our favor.
对吧伙计们?
Right, mateys?
只剩您与在下一决生死了
Now it's just ye and me.
弄死他 Steve船长
Get him, Captain Steve!
走跳板吧肥冬瓜
Now walk the plank, fatscallion.
海盗惩虐俘虏的一种方式也有让某人下台的意思
永别了残酷世界
Good-bye, cruel world!
老子脚踝碎了
I broke my goddamn ankles!
在下领赏来了
And now for me reward.
你真勇敢 Steve船长
You're so brave, Captain Steve.
有空你应该来宿舍找我玩
You should come by my cabin later.
看来即便他盔甲护体我也有机可乘
Ha ha! Looks like I found a chink in his armor.
chink指弱点亦是用来侮辱亚裔的词汇
说谁呢你? - 打比方而已没骂你
Hey, what the hell? - Figure of speech-- Don't get offended.
我的天
Blimey!
再临打折卡?
One free fluff and fold?
我在哪? 怎么被吊起来了?
Where am I? Why am I upside down?
Steve船长你这海盗菊花就等着被爆烂吧
Captain Steve, your pirate ass is about to be [bleep] in the bunghole.
我不在时你们这群变♥态♥就玩这个啊?
So this is what you freaks do when I'm not around?
你在房♥子下面造了一个凌♥辱♥密室?
You built a sex dungeon under your cabin?
这比普通地下室实用一百倍好吧
Well, it's a lot more practical than a basement.
再说要是需要普通地下室撤了这些假鸡鸡就行了
And if I ever need a regular dungeon, I just take out the dildos.
那你为什么把我关起来?
But why are you locking me up?
因为我想让赛船会正常进行
Because I need this regatta to go well
我不允许Steve船长像个抽风海盗一样四处捣乱
And I can't have captain Steve running around like a crazy [bleep] pirate!
我是海盗?
I was a pirate?
快进去
Get in there.
Hilda 今儿算你走运你可以走了
Hilda, it's your lucky day. You're free to go.
经过了12年的凌♥辱♥ 我真的可以走了?
I can really go, just like that after 12 years?
Hilda 不要把这些年的事放在心上
Hilda, don't let this experience define you.
你正好赶上见证这神奇的海猴子
You're just in time to enter the wonderful world of amazing sea monkeys.
就这玩意? 和包装盒上的半点也不像啊
That's it? It doesn't look anything like the box.
Malloy 我... 告诉过你的
Malloy, I-I tried to tell you.
你知道最操蛋的是啥不?
You know what the worst part is?
你真能说对那么一两次
That you were actually right about something for once.
这玩意真扯淡
This stuff is bullshit.
接下来各位拥有令我垂涎已久度假村的土豪朋友们
And now, my wealthy friends with vacation homes in places I would like to visit
迎接咱们期待已久的时刻: 脆莓赛船会
the moment we've been waiting for-- The Brickleberry Regatta!
脆莓赛船会
各就各位预备...
On your mark, get set...
终点
什么情况? - 我勒个去和包装盒上的一模一样
What the hell? - Holy shit! It does look like the box!
我就说这玩意儿好使
I told you this stuff works!
承认吧 Woody 只有一个英雄勇敢到能对抗这个怪物
Face it, Woody-there's only one hero brave enough to fight this monster.
3K侠? - Steve船长
Klan Man? - Captain Steve!
求求你你们不能这么对待Connie
Please! Y'all can't do this to Connie!
准备好和选定的佳人翻云覆雨了吗?
Are you ready to mate with your chosen one?
你说呢? 我湿了一路了
What do you think? I'm leaving a snail trail.
天啊
Oh, my god.
准备好上我了吗 Connie?
Are you ready for me, Connie?
快过来
Come here.
我不能
I can't.
啊? 为什么?
What? Why not?
因为...
Because...
你... 是个... 丑逼
You're... So... Ugly!
是的 Connie 这里是《你是个丑逼》
That's right, Connie. This is You're So Ugly!
专门让不受欢迎的人出糗的真人秀节目
The reality show that humiliates unattractive people!
但...
But...
我们本来准备恶搞别人的谁料...
We were going to punk Some other beast, but then...
你们被冲上了岸制♥作♥组简直不相信我们的运气
you washed up onshore, and we couldn't believe our luck.
你是说我不能上Alexa了?
You mean I'm not having sex with Alexa?
醒醒吧真以为你这种丑逼能上她这样的尤物?
Oh, come on, did you really think someone like you could get someone like her?
对不起 Connie 我没能阻止这些变♥态♥
Sorry, Connie. I couldn't stop these sick bastards.
"变♥态♥"? 我们只是在满足美国人♥民♥的需要
"sick"? Hey, we're just giving america what it wants.
没什么比恶搞别人更能赚收视
Nothing gets ratings like degrading people
遇上Connie这种丑八怪就更是如此了
Especially a hideous, trout-faced monster like Connie.
对吧女士们? - 是啊
Am I right, ladies? - Yeah!
就在那儿
There it is!
我擦嘞那是个啥?
Holy shit! What is that?
是海怪
It's the sea monster!
你刚说的是"海猴"
You said "sea monkey."
我还准备要拿吃的撑死它这玩意儿我可打败不了
I was planning to overfeed it to death. I can't fight that thing.
你肯定行的
Sure you can.
你是Steve船长毫无畏惧的海盗
You're captain Steve, the fearless pirate.
Ethel 事实是...
Ethel, the truth is
我只能在催眠师给我戴上勋章之后才变得毫无畏惧
I was only fearless because a hypnotist put a medallion around my neck.
没那玩意我什么也不是
Without that, I'm nothing.
不 Steve 英勇事迹不是勋章做出来的
No, Steve, the medallion didn't do brave things.
是你啊
You did.
现在你要相信自...
Now it's time to believe in yoursel--
救命 Steve 救命
Help, Steve! Help!
大伙都没事的
You're in no danger!
这只是娱乐表演的一部分
This is all part of the entertainment!
特效超赞有没有?
Great special effects, huh?