脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E07

Part 2 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

是这镇子操蛋透了
Yes. This town sucks.
堕胎是渎神之罪
Abortion is a sin against god!
生命无价我反对堕胎 | 堕胎无罪堕胎安全又合法
不堕胎是民权
No! It's a civil right!
俺只是路过来买♥♥玉米卷的
I'm just here for the chimichangas.
你这是谋杀
This is murder!
俺来告诉你啥叫谋杀
I'll tell you what's murder.
这店子对调味干红辣椒漫天要价
The price they charge for a side of chipot-le.
Ethel 欢迎来到我的堕胎玉米卷一体车
Ah, Ethel, welcome to my abortionmobile taqueria.
或是按当地乡巴佬的说法堕卷车
Or as the local yokels call it, the die-eria.
这里做安全的对吧?
Uh, this is safe, right?
完全安全... 仅对女人不对孩子
Perfectly safe... For the woman, not the baby.
等等你不会就拿这脏不拉叽的厨具做吧?
Wait. You're not going to use dirty cooking utensils?
当然不会 Ethel 我会先给它们灭灭菌的
No, of course not, Ethel. I'm going to sanitize them first.
好了准备就绪
Okay, ready to go.
在一切开始之前我必须问你
Before you go through with this, I must ask
你真的决意已定了嘛?
are you sure about this decision?
这是一个女人最难做的决定但...
This is the hardest choice a woman can make, but--
抱歉我在和客人说话呢
Sorry. I was talking to a customer.
好吧就上牛肉卷吧
Okay, carne asada it is.
但得提醒下你玉米卷用的沙司很热哦 [西语]
But fair warning, the picante sauce is muy caliente.
没事只要不热就成
That's okay, as long as it ain't hot.
褐丘精神病院
你不知道
You don't know.
你不知道你不知道
You don't know. You don't know.
这天杀地灭的社区服务
Rackin' frackin' community service.
给一群成天坐那儿自言自语的该死疯子做事
Working around a bunch of goddamn nut jobs who sit around and mumble to themselves.
你还好吧先生?
Is everything all right, sir?
好得不得了呢我爱死这些疯颠狂了
Oh, never better! I love these wacky bastards.
你是当爹的是吧?
Oh, you're a dad, huh?
我儿子就因为我把他栓酒吧外边对我大吼大叫
Yeah, my son yelled at me 'cause I tied him up outside of a bar.
你把他怎么了?
You did what?
别担心我儿子是头会说话的熊
Oh, don't worry. My son's a talking bear.
不如我们坐下来说吧?
Why don't you have a seat?
这头会说话的熊...
This talking bear--
有没有唆使你去做伤害自己或者伤害别人的事?
does he ever tell you to do things that would hurt yourself or others?
你没开玩笑吧? 他成天就干这个
Are you shitting me? That's all he does!
有一次他把我整成了一条鱼
One time he turned me into a fish!
参见S02E12
了解
I see.
有时候他就是嘴巴贱的小混球
Yeah, he can be a sarcastic little asshole
但我知道他是爱我的
But I know he loves me
因为有一次我要和女朋友乘太空飞船离开地球
'cause one time I was gonna get on a spaceship with my girlfriend
是他背着火箭背包把我救了回来
And he saved me with a jet pack.
参见S02E03
这里有个疯子
We got a nut job.
和你讲讲他给我当三♥级♥片♥导演那事吧
Let me tell you about the time he directed my porno.
参见S02E02
你特么疯了吧?
Aah! Are you [bleep] crazy?
我可没疯是你疯了
I'm not crazy! You're crazy!
人流积分卡
搞定祝贺你 Ethel
And punchito! Congratulations, Ethel.
凑齐15次人流送你免费鸡肉卷
15 abortions gets you a free chalupa.
谢了但我永远不会忘记这段经历是多么痛苦
Thanks, but I'll never get over how traumatic that experience was.
再给你一张新的积分卡吧?
Would you like to start a new card?
好吧拿上也无妨
Yeah, might as well.
Steve 你在这儿做什么?
Steve, what are you doing here?
给我和医生的交易收尾咯
Just sealing the deal I made with the Doc.
呃什么交易?
Uh, what kind of a deal?
这事不太伦理啦但他愿意给钱而我... 见钱眼开
It's not exactly ethical, but he paid cash, and, well, I'm a whore.
Kuzniak医生把胎儿从你身体里抽出来后
See, after Dr. Kuzniak sucked the embryo out of your body
转到我体内了
He put it in mine.
我怀孕了 - 什么?
I'm pregnant! - What?
现在你进我身子了
Now you're inside me!
都别吃辣酱我刚把恶心玩意给混进去了
Nobody eat the salsa. There's been a terrible mix-up.
肖恩•约翰牌童鞋? 谢啦 Denzel
Baby Sean Johns? Thank you, Denzel.
美国歌♥手吹牛老爹创立的服装品牌
也谢谢Connie 送我贴心的婴儿按♥摩♥棒♥
And thank you, Connie, for the baby massager.
快看 Connie把那玩意上的静脉都给你撸掉了
Hey, look at that. Connie rubbed all the veins off for you.
快看我的
Open mine!
我预感你们的孩子会是个妞哦
I have a feeling it's going to be a girl!
钢管舞免费课程?
Free pole dancing classes?
生孩子不带把儿学钢管儿妥妥哒
If she's got a hole, she belongs on a pole.
这宝宝派对实在太棒了
What a wonderful baby shower.
我靠 Steve 这才过两天你肚子就这么大了
Damn, Steve. It's only been two days, and you're already showing.
Kuzniak医生说我体内的睾丸酮会加速妊娠期
Dr. Kuzniak said the testosterone in my body will speed up the pregnancy.
Steve 你真特么混账
Steve, you're a [bleep] asshole!
所以我买♥♥了这件婴儿服
That's why I bought this Onesie.
我老爸真特么混账
我选择结束这段妊娠你却夺走了我的选择权
I made a choice to end this pregnancy, and you took that choice away from me.
我不明白你干嘛这么不爽
I don't understand why you're so upset.
现在孩子都在我肚里了生产什么的我全权负责
Now that our baby's in my body, I'll do the work for you.
你想堕胎不就是嫌这个太麻烦嘛
That's why you wanted to get an abortion, right?
不 Steve 这是女人的决定
No, Steve, it's a woman's decision.
但孩子在我肚里了
But it's in my body.
你说过的我的身子我做主
Like you said, my body, my choice.
那不是... 不你们几个帮我主持公道
That's not--no. You guys, back me up here.
孩子在他肚里 Ethel
It's in his body, Ethel.
你也说过在谁肚里谁做主
You said that's all that matters.
给你 Ethel 这应该能让你高兴点
Here, Ethel. This should cheer you up.
我把你和Steve的照片用软件整合了下
I put your picture and Steve's picture into a computer program.
你们的孩子以后会是这模样
This is what your baby will look like.
美国演员乔纳•希尔
噢天呐
Oh, my god!
不要
No!
听好你个变♥态♥狗都说了别再给我打电♥话♥了
Listen, you sick puppy, I told you to stop calling me.
给我滚远点你个狗屎垃圾
Leave me alone, you piece of shit!
不是我 Woody - 知道是你
No, it's me, Woody. - Yeah, I know.
听着那些王八蛋把我当神经病了
Look, these assholes committed me.
快来这里告诉他们你会说话
Get down here, and prove you can talk.
我得离开这鬼地方
I've gotta get out of here.
我室友觉得他是尼古拉斯•凯奇
I'm roommates with a guy who thinks he's Nicolas Cage.
美国演员
好了出动吧
Okay, let's ride!
《恶灵骑士》桥段
没准他就是尼古拉斯•凯奇我吃不准
Or maybe that is Nicolas Cage. I don't know.
反正他疯到骨子里去了
Either way, he's [bleep] nuts.
你有没有被人拉到人行道上...
Have you ever been dragged onto the sidewalk
还被暴打到直接尿血?
And beat until you pissed blood?
褐丘精神病院
好了 Malloy 说话吧
Okay, Malloy, start talking.
我发誓他会说
I swear he can.
放在平时他可是话匣子
Usually, he's a real chatterbox
前提是他不是个记仇的贱♥人♥
When he's not being a spiteful dick!
拜托 Malloy 说话
Please, Malloy, talk!
嗷 - Malloy 你个王八犊子
Growl. - Malloy, you son of a bitch!
快证明老爹没疯要不老子特么地拧掉你脑袋
Prove daddy's not crazy, or I'll rip your [bleep] head off!
简直是疯子里的标杆
Textbook psycho.
不对我没疯医生
No, I'm not crazy, doc!
我说真的我养了只会说话的熊
I'm telling you, I have a talking bear!
我还有个会唱歌♥的小妹呢
And I have a singing beaver!
♪ 你好宝贝你好心肝 ♪
♪ Hello, my baby, hello, my honey ♪
♪ 即兴演奏乐队Phish - Hello! My baby
♪ 你好我那唱爵士乐的姑娘 ♪
♪ Hello, my ragtime gal ♪
快醒醒 Steve
Wake up, Steve!
Ethel 才凌晨4点
Ethel, it's 4:00 A.M.
这就对啦有了娃儿是睡不成懒觉的
That's right. There's no sleeping when you have a baby.
我是爱放焰火的Jim小宝贝你大爷的
I'm baby firecracker Jim, god damn it!
过了今晚再看你还想不想生孩子
After tonight we'll see who wants to keep this baby.
欢迎你体验当爹的感觉
Welcome to fatherhood.
帮我换尿布爹地便便都喷到背上了
Change me, daddy! I done shit up my back!
没事啦咱的小宝宝马上就会变得干净清爽的
It's okay. We'll get baby nice and clean.
"婴"毛见过吗?
You ever seen a baby with pubes?
我一发怒就飙尿因为我还不会用语言表达
I'm pissing 'cause I'm angry, and I can't express it in words!
你们说Woody讲的故事全都是真的?
So you're telling me all of Woody's stories are true?
对 Woody的确变过鱼就在我生恶魔之子以前
Yeah, Woody was a fish just before I gave birth to the antichrist.
分别参见S02E12 S02E13