脆莓公园（2012）

Bodean 听俺说
Bodean, listen to me.
这些自♥由♥派的人要侵吞俺们的国家
These liberals are screwing up our country.
他们会禁烟 禁垃圾食品 拿走俺们的火器
They're gonna ban smoking and junk food, take our guns
还很有可能让俺们结同性恋的婚呢
and probably make us gay marry each other.
俺蛮喜欢奥巴马医改 - 这是最恶心的事儿
I kind of like Obamacare. - That's the worst part!
就算是俺都能想个比他更好的医改方案
Even I could come up with a better health care plan.
那为啥你不实施? - 或许有朝一日我会
Why don't you do it then? - Maybe I will.
你又是哪根筋不对给奥巴马投票的?
Why the hell did you vote for Obama anyway?
因为收入不均是严重的社会问题
Because income inequality is a very significant social issue
而右翼分子们推行的递减税政策又让其雪上加霜
and it's reinforced by a series of regressive tax reforms foisted upon us by right-wingers.
我醒着呢 Bodean - 我知道
I'm awake, Bodean. - I know.
谢谢 总统先生
Thank you, Mr. president.
不对 谢谢您 总统先生
No. Thank you, Mr. president.
不对 谢谢您 总统阁下
No. Thank you, Mr. president!
不 你肯定会出糗的 Johnson
No, you're gonna screw it up, Johnson.
嘿 哥们
Hey, player
小弟觉得咱们应该多花那么些个时间在一起聊聊
I thought wiggity-we should spend a little tiggity-time togevah.
只有大哥你和小弟Steve我
Just Big Dubs and Run-DM-Steve.
Steve 别怪我下毒手
Steve, I will murder you.
一起看《威利旺卡和那什么巧克力工厂》吗?
Wanna watch Willy wizzle and the chizzle fizzle?
我租了蓝♥光♥版本的哟 - 别怪我没警告你
I rented it on blu-rizzle. - I'm warning you, Steve.
把派给他
Give him the pie.
噢 我给你做了个个个个个个个个...
Oh, I made you a p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-
个个个个个个个个个个个个个个个个个个派
p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-pie!
真棒
Yes!
啊噢 我的那个个个个派
Uh-oh, my p-cuh-p-cuh-p-cuh-pie.
不好 Malloy 快叫救护那啥车来
Oh, no. Malloy, call an ambu-lizzle!
Woody 我这里有好消息和坏消息 还有超级坏的消息
Woody, I have good news and bad news and super bad news.
超级坏的消息是什么?
What's the super bad news?
美国演员 导演
本•阿弗莱克会饰演新蝙蝠侠
Ben Affleck is the new Batman.
谁管这事啊?! 那我这儿呢?
Who gives a shit?! What about me?
Woody 你毁了你的肝脏
Woody, you destroyed your liver
毁得彻彻底底傻X了
totally, well, [Bleep] It up.
好消息是 我这儿有现成的捐赠者肝脏
The good news is, I have a donor liver right here.
这可真是好消息
Oh, that's great, doc.
坏消息是 根据奥巴马健保手册第2242页的规定
The bad news is that according to page 2,242 of the Obamacare manual
这份肝脏必须移植给一名非法移♥民♥的基佬
this liver must go to a gay, illegal immigrant.
卧♥槽♥ 福克斯新闻说得没错
Holy shit, Fox News was right.
Woody 我们找不到捐赠者 只有让你和人共享肝脏了
Woody, since we can't find you a liver, you'll be sharing one.
共享肝脏? 和谁?
Share a liver? With who?
好啊 肝友 - 什么?
Hey, liver buddy! - What?
你怎能把我和这痴呆捆一起?
You attached me to this moron?
为什么不直接让我上透析?
Why didn't you just put me on dialysis?
此处dialysis既指透析 也指人名
相信我 Woody 我试过了 对吧 投茜?
Trust me, Woody, I tried. Isn't that right, Dialysis?
没人能上投茜 除非他和我结婚
Ain't nobody getting on dialysis unless they put a ring on it.
如果必须把我和别人缝起来
If you had to sew me to someone
为什么得给我找这头蠢驴?
why did you have to pick captain dumbass?
Woody 他是唯一自愿捐赠的人呀
Well, Woody, he was the only one who would volunteer.
这就是身为朋友的义务
'Cause that's what friends do.
如果你真想做我朋友
If you were a real friend
就应该把肝脏整个给我 然后去死
you would have just given me your liver and died!
这样更好 让我们有更多的机会了解彼此
This is even better. Now we can really get to know each other.
大夫 啥时能把这会说话的瘤子从我身上割掉?
Doc, when can you saw this talking tumor off of me?
我还要出席盛典呢
I got an event to go to.
我看看 这里说
Let's see. Actually, it says here that...
如果那个非法移♥民♥基佬48小时之内不需要肝脏捐赠的话
if a gay, illegal immigrant does not need the liver within 48 hours
这肝脏就归你了
huh, it's all yours.
很好 刚好赶上我领奖前 - 说到拿奖
Great, just in time to get my award. - Speaking of awards
前奥♥运♥冠军 曾多次整容
你们有看过我的布鲁斯•詹那"医疗噩梦"奖杯吗?
have I shown you my Bruce Jenner "horrors of medicine" trophy?
Woody Johnson说 去屎吧 奥巴马
我们公园的头号♥景点这下算是玩完了
There goes our number one tourist attraction.
"让我享用享用你那肉颤颤的丰臀"
"Give me, give me some of that big, flappy ass."
谁发的这恶心玩意? - 呃 巴拉克
Ew! Who is that from? - Ugh, Barack.
容我整理下思路
Let me get this straight.
美国总统刚给你发了条短♥信♥
The President of the United States of America just texted
"让我享用享用你那肥美美的丰臀"
"give me, give me some of that big, floppy ass"?
不 他说的是"肉颤颤" - 让我看看
No, he said, "flappy." - Let me see that.
能在用户指定时间内自动删除短♥信♥照片的App
我啥都没看到 - 我知道 他用的快照
There's nothing there. - I know. He used a snapchat.
Connie 你最好在总统来之前停下这些胡思乱想
Connie, you better cut out this nonsense before the president gets here
不然你就吃不了兜着走了
or you could get into some real trouble.
不是胡思乱想 Ethel 我发誓
It's not nonsense, Ethel, I swear.
"肉颤 肉颤 肉颤颤的丰臀 让你给我一发入魂"
"Flap, flap, flappy ass. Give me that big, flappy ass.
"肉颤 肉颤 肉颤颤的丰臀 我想你的奶♥子♥想得要命"
Give me, give me, flappy dappy, floppity, sucking titties."
快照哦
Snapchat.
欢迎加入奥巴比健保社
Welcome to o'Bobbycare.
请在这里签字 给俺你的会员费
Now just sign here, and give me your premium.
好的 Bobby - 这比俺想得简单得多
Okay, Bobby. - This is easier than I thought.
只要你不受伤 一切就都好说
As long as you don't get hurt, everything will be okay.
我眼睛里有支铅笔 Bobby - 老天 Bodean 你得当心点啊
I got a pencil stuck in my eye, Bobby. - Jesus, Bodean, you gotta be careful.
现在我眼睛里有两只铅笔 Bobby
Now I got two pencils stuck in my eye, Bobby.
别望你眼里插铅笔了
Stop sticking pencils in your eye.
搞毛啊 Bodean - 怎么? 钢笔也不行?
Damn it, Bodean. - What? Pens too?
Steve 向左转
Steve, turn left.
我左边还是你左边? - 都特么是一个左边好吧
My left or your left? - They're the same goddamn left.
靠 Steve 快滚起来
Shit! Steve, get your ass up!
如诸位所见 我长出个傻X
As you can all see, I have grown a dork.
Woody 告诉我疼不疼
Woody, tell me if this hurts.
你俩现在能出院了么?
Shouldn't you two still be in the hospital?
咋地? 让我断了三十年如一日出勤记录?
What? And ruin my perfect attendance record?
绝逼不行 该咋上班咋上班
Hell, no. It's business as usual.
现在说下...
Now let's get ser...
挠痒痒噜 - 停
Tickle fight. - Stop!
我向天发誓 Steve
I swear to God, Steve.
你为神马这么刻薄嘛 火爆肥仔先生?
Why are you so mean, Mr. Grumpy Lumps?
好了 开始张罗疯狂派对 Denzel 上安保报告
Now let's have a [Bleep] party. Denzel, security report.
你那屋所有电器都让我拿到当铺了
I took all your electronics down to the pawn shop.
因为吧 人家得把里面的脏弹给拆了
Uh, yeah, they defuse dirty bombs down there.
干得漂亮 好了 该吃午饭了 大家伙
Good job. Okay. That's lunch, everybody.
1983年发源于美国的连锁餐厅
走着 肝仔 我们去吃猫头鹰餐厅
Come on, liver boy, we're going to Hooters.
抱歉 午饭时我要排练 不能不去诶
Sorry, I practice over lunch, and I can't miss it.
练毛?
Practice what?
♪ 我如此喜爱清唱 ♪
I like to sing a capella...
我恨清唱 清唱是傻X - ♪ 变成最快乐的孩子 ♪
Oh, I hate a capella. A capella sucks! - ♪ Makes me a most happy fella ♪
住嘴 住嘴 - ♪ 听我馥郁芬芳的喉咙 ♪
Stop it. Stop it. - ♪ I sing songs loud or mellow ♪
♪ 妹子们全都自动躺倒 ♪
♪ all the girls' legs turn to jell-o ♪
你帮我洗洗我帮你洗洗会不会更健康?
How about I wash yours, and you wash mine?
不要
Nooo!
脆莓医疗中心 Kuzniak医生坐诊
你有入保险没?
Do you have insurance?
有啊 钱都交给他了
Yep, he's right there.
行吧 走你
Okay, here we go.
总共1200刀 - 1200刀?
That'll be $1,200. - $1,200?
不用谢我 要谢就谢这世上最棒的健保制度吧
Don't thank me. Thank the greatest health care system in the world.
我决定了 Bodean 你被"奥巴比健保"除名了
That's it, Bodean. I am dropping you from o'Bobbycare.
但根据"奥巴比健保手册"第一条规定 你无权除名呢 Bobby
Well, according to page one of the o'Bobbycare manual, you can't do that, Bobby.
奥巴比健保手"厕"
我靠 求你告诉我 你身上没别的毛病了
Damn it. Please tell me there's nothing else wrong with you.
甭担心 Bobby 俺就是有点高血压 高血糖 憩室炎 大肠炎
Don't worry, Bobby... I just got high blood pressure, high sugar, diverticulitis, colitis
牙龈炎 丁日热 还有JJ生疮而已
gingivitis, bieber fever, and sores on my Peter.
不要啊 别这样 妈咪
No, no, mommy.
♪ 乖乖睡吧 宝贝 不要吵 ♪
♪ Hush, little baby, don't say a word ♪
♪ 妈妈给你油炸大粪糕 ♪
♪ mama's gonna fry you a talking turd ♪
不知道你昨晚做了啥
Wow, I don't know what you did
自我妈把我饿到昏迷以来
but that is the best night of sleep I've had
这算是我睡得最香的一晚了
since my mom starved me into a coma.
感觉好极了 - 等你尝过这个再说
I feel incredible. - Wait till you try this.
感觉就像椰子天使在我嘴里拉屎一样
It's like a coconut angel took a shit in my mouth.
谢谢表扬 - 知道吗 Steve 我以为绝不可能说这种话 但...
Thanks. - You know what, Steve? I never thought I'd say it, but...
我开始不那么恨你了
but I'm starting to hate you a little less.