脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E06

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

Because a loser like you doesn't deserve a life.
你真以为我会让你官复原职嘛?
You actually thought I was going to give you your job back?
只要有我在你甭想再当头儿
You'll never be head ranger again on my watch.
你这坨臭... - 别发怒 Woody
Why, you dirty piece of sh-- - Don't lose your temper, Woody.
我们可以成熟应对的
We can handle this like adults.
宰了她没商量
We are going to kill her.
这种建议才像话嘛
Now that's good advice.
嘿你能帮我们宰掉那个秘♥书♥长♥吗?
Hey, can you kill the secretary for us?
已经搞定啦
Already done.
这特么是个秘书吧不是那个秘♥书♥长♥
That's a secretary, not the secretary.
甭担心卡车里还装着15个随你挑呢
Oh, don't worry. I've got like 15 more in the truck.
下周会有好多咖啡没人煮好多电子表格没人填的
There's going to be a lot of unbrewed coffee and empty spread sheets next week.
没事我们能熬过这关的
Okay. We can ride this out.
只要冷静就好
We just need to stay calm.
你说得对熬到明天就没事了
You're right. We'll be fine by tomorrow.
明天?
Tomorrow?
Connie 明天就该药检了呀
Connie. The drug test is tomorrow.
我们得去找点干净的尿液来
We have to find some clean urine.
我这里有个假丁丁
I've got a fake penis.
这特么有什么用啊?
What good will that do us?
就是随便说说
I'm just saying.
Denzel Jackson警长
Head ranger Denzel Jackson.
这话我爱听
I like the sound of that.
人模狗样啊兄弟
Looking good, buddy.
我觉得咱们该小小庆祝下你说呢?
I think that this is cause for a little celebration, huh?
Steve 你搞毛啊?
Steve, what the hell, man?
警长只管举♥行♥药检又不接受药检
Head rangers give drug tests, not take them.
所以你嗨也没关系啦
So you can get high again.
我才不想嗨
I don't want to get high
你们这些败类成天引诱我真是操蛋得很
And it's messed up that you of all people would try to get me to.
你最近有点焦躁呢
It's just you've been a little uptight.
自从你戒了毒好像都变了个人似的
You haven't seemed like yourself since you quit.
这才是我
This is myself.
我不是那个看着你那些蠢把戏傻笑的瘾君子
The pothead who laughed at all your dumb bullshit was not me.
我永远不会再抽了
I'm never smoking again.
Ethel 干净尿搞到手了
Ethel, I've got the clean pee...
完了我们算是完蛋了
No! Oh, we're finished!
我们可以再想办法的嘛
We can just come up with another plan.
我们还在飞着呢
We're high!
这个办法都花了我们17个小时才想到
It took 17 hours to come up with this plan.
有了我们去见Jorge
I've got it. We need to go see Jorge.
他无所不能但我们得赶紧
He can fix anything. But we gotta hurry.
开慢点 Connie
Slow down, Connie!
太快了你会害死咱俩的
No! You're gonna kill us!
就像我老爸常说的那样
Well, like my daddy always said
杀人要效率全得靠自己
You want to kill somebody right, you gotta kill them yourself.
哪个猪头在我咖啡里放大米?
Who the hell put rice in my coffee?
成了
Yes!
蓖麻毒你个呆逼不是"放大米"
Ricin, you idiot. Not "rice in."
二者读音相似
搞快点 Malloy 快剪断刹车线
Hurry up, Malloy. Cut the brakes.
断了
Got it.
好啦女士我们下手快你不会痛苦的
All right, lady, we'll make this quick and painless.
别呀我最喜欢痛苦了
Don't. I like pain.
狗娘... - 你娘...
Son of a... - You mother--
嘿你俩今晚玩情趣
Hey, you two, shit's about to get weird.
快把奶油拿过来
Get the Cool Whip.
唉今晚又是不眠夜呀 Malloy
Well, we're in for another rough night, Malloy.
她赢了认输吧
She won. She beat us.
我们还是找个新地方重新做人吧
We'll just start a new life somewhere else.
我们不会这么轻易认输的 Woody 你可是战争英雄
We're not going out like this, Woody. You are a war hero.
闪人之前我们应该去她邮箱里拉泡屎
Before we leave, we should shit in her mailbox.
Malloy 你真是足智多谋
Malloy, you are on an advice roll.
你想干啥?
What do you want?
听着之前引诱你抽麻是我不对对不起啦
Look, it was wrong to try and get you to smoke. I'm sorry.
我给你带了个谢罪礼物
I brought you a peace offering.
天底下你的至爱
Your favorite thing in the world.
麦香排?
A macrib?
都换季停售了所以别问我是怎么搞到手的
They're out of season, so don't ask me what I had to do to get it.
给个小提示:
Here's a hint:
关键词有"奶昔大哥"和"撸"
It involved Grimace and a hand job.
20世纪90年代麦当劳宣传主打卡♥通♥人物之一身体为紫色
Steve 我抽麻时才会喜欢这东西
Steve, I only liked those because I was high.
你不想吃?
You don't want it?
我靠 Steve 看你干的好事
Damn it, Steve. Look what you did.
快特么滚犊子少来烦我
Get the hell out of here and leave me alone.
我就想... 就是...
All I want--I just--
看来我抽麻时才会喜欢的东西不止麦香排啊
Well, I guess it's not just the Macrib I only like when I'm high.
洋葱圈? - 不是
Funyuns? - No.
塞斯•罗根? - 也不是
Seth rogen? - No!
著名喜剧演员出演过《青蜂侠》《菠萝快车》
是你 Steve 我现在不喜欢你了
You, Steve. I don't like you anymore.
Denzel 你的短时记忆可能恢复了
Denzel, you may have gotten your short-term memory back
但你忘了自己是谁
But you forgot who you were.
请容我失陪
Now if you'll excuse me
我要去拳♥交♥"汉堡神偷"交换三叶草奶昔了
I have to go fist Hamburglar for a Shamrock shake.
与奶昔大哥同期卡♥通♥人物
快点 Woody 我快撑不住你了
Hurry up, Woody. I can't hold you much longer.
再坚持一会儿横着拉屎有难度好吧
Give me a minute. It's hard to take a horizontal shit.
拉出来了把小旗子升起来
There, it's out. Put the flag up.
升起邮箱上的小旗代表有新邮件
我擦快躲
Oh, shit. Hide.
她在搞毛?
What the hell is she doing?
我勒个去
Oh, my god.
她对你这么着迷啊
She is obsessed with you.
这样我就懂了
It all makes sense now.
爱之越深痛之越切
That's why she's been treating me like shit.
太好了我们可以夺回以前的生活了
This is great. We can have our lives back.
你只要把她上了
You just need to ram her.
搞得爽一点久一点深一点
Ram her hard. Ram her long. Ram her deep.
没门她太恶心了
Ew, no way. She's disgusting.
你们在这儿啊赶紧回家
There y'all are. Now come on home.
去帮我给Beulah冲水
I need you to hose down Beulah.
她蜜♥穴♥被♥干♥完搞得黏糊糊的
Her folds get real cheesy after a good screwing.
好吧我去上她
Okay, I'll ram her.
搞爽搞久搞深
Ram her hard, ram her long, ram her deep.
不
Oh, no.
秘♥书♥长♥来了
Here comes the Secretary.
她追上来了
She's catching up with the car.
简直《终结者2》再现
She's like Terminator 2!
该死我们完蛋了
Oh, crap, we're dead.
正常一点就行 Connie
Just act straight, Connie.
我很正常我喜欢鸡鸡
I'm straight. I love penis.
啊? 我是来说药检结果的
What? This is about your drug tests.
你们通过了
You passed.
通过了? - 怎么可能?
We did? - How's that possible?
你们昨天刚做完啊记得吗?
You took it yesterday, remember?
这就对了
That's right.
咱们肯定是嗨得一逼给忘了
We must have been so high that we forgot.
你刚说啥?
What did you say?
她知道了
She knows!
真受不了Steve这个傻缺
I can't stand Steve's silly ass.
他一点也不懂得职业道德
He doesn't know anything about work ethic.
你好啊 Denzel
Hello, Denzel.
你特么是谁?
What the hell are you?
不记得我了吗? 我是你童年时的小伙伴啊
You don't remember me? I'm your childhood friend.
小叶萨瑟兰?
Reefer Sutherland?
对了
That's right.
我是来阻止你失去最好的朋友Steve的
I'm here to stop you from losing your best friend Steve
因为你紧张得都有些混球了
because you're all uptight and kind of a dick.
那我怎么做才能挽救我们的友谊?
Well, what can I do to save our friendship?
抽点吧 Denzel 抽点吧
Smoke me, Denzel. Smoke me.
不我可不抽了
No, I won't do it.