脆莓公园（2012）

Steve牛X也是扯淡
So is Steve being awesome.
嘿 别侮辱我新青睐的林警
Hey, lay off my new favorite ranger!
来 Steve 再给他们看一次
Heh, show 'em, Steve. Do it again.
能惊喜到你让我受宠若惊 Woody 但我不知道是怎么办到的
I'm glad you're impressed, Woody, but I don't know how I did it.
那时我刚好被电 然后...
I just got a shock and then...
Denzel 你马上会挨打 - 看 一派胡言
Denzel, you're about to get punched. - See, this is bullshit.
没人会来打...
Nobody's about to pu...Hey!
这是你毁了我钻石婚的报应 - 我就说吧
That's for ruining 60 years of marriage. - See? I told you.
Steve 我得好好利用你的超能力
Steve, I am gonna put your power to good use.
碉堡了 - 才不是呢
It is amazing. - Not really.
Denzel每天都要被老头围殴十多次
Denzel gets punched by old men ten times a day.
我想我确实是... - 你这狗♥杂♥种♥
I guess I do... Ow! - You son of a bitch.
我特么怎么追得上你裤裆里那条黑蟒?
How am I supposed to follow that black anaconda?
跟特么让我投篮一样扯淡
It's like I'm [bleep] a basketball hoop.
几点了? - 清晨四点半
What time is it? - 4:30 A.M.
头晚入住 我们就让你睡了个懒觉
This was your first night, so we let you sleep in.
早安 Ethel
Morning, Ethel.
你把我的电动剃须刀拿走了 记得不?
You took away my electric razor, remember?
这是我打凯利•普雷斯顿之后见过最寒碜的胡子
That's the saddest beard I've seen since Kelly Preston.
美国女演员
不知道那是哪根葱
We don't know who that is.
Ethel姐妹 你来打点家务吧
Sister Ethel, you will do the house chores.
Connie兄弟 你就和地里的其他人一起务农吧
Brother Connie, you will work with the rest of the men in the fields.
屠宰场5
蠢牛
Stupid cows.
什么动静?
What was that?
美国摇滚乐队
是你吗 蓝蚝帮?
Is that you, blue oyster cult?
猜猜哞是谁
你个小怂逼 - 我才没被吓到
You're a little pussy. - I wasn't scared!
牛牛 别用你那一没手掌二没指头三没大拇哥的蹄子
Oh, cow, don't stab me with that knife that you're somehow holding with no hands
拿刀来戳我啊
or fingers or opposable thumbs.
不要理我啦
Just leave me alone.
嘿 你在玩屠宰场5?
Hey, is that Slaughter house 5?
给你露一手 看看怎么解锁电击枪
Watch this. I know how to unlock the bolt gun.
赌场
好了 Steve 放低调点 不要声张
All right, Steve, let's not draw any attention to ourselves.
28点黑
28 black.
28点黑 赢了 - 棒
Winner. 28 black. - Yes!
好戏才刚刚开始呢 Steve兄弟
We are just getting started, Steve-arino.
但是Woody 这么下去我会电死的
But, Woody, I could die from all these shocks.
让我看看 你会被电死吗?
Let's check. Do you die from all these shocks?
不 - 那就走起赢他个精光
No. - Then let's clean this bitch out!
没想到我会表扬你 但做得不错 Steve
I never thought I'd say this, but good job, Steve.
谢谢你 Woody 那... 这么多钱你打算怎么花?
Thanks, Woody. But, uh, what are you gonna do with all of this money?
我要用它来兑现我许给Ethel的小承诺
I'm gonna use it to keep a little promise I made to Ethel.
Woody Johnson公♥司♥
尼尔•卡夫托 (福克斯新闻频道主持人)
我们今天的嘉宾是Woody Johnson
With us today is Woody Johnson
地球上碳足迹最大的男人
the man with the biggest carbon footprint on Earth.
Neil 你脑袋比平时电视上看到的还要大
Neil, your head is even more gigantic in person.
真是太壮观了 - 谢谢夸奖
It's very impressive. - Thanks.
Woody 你这个Woody Johnson公♥司♥到底生产什么东西呢?
Woody, what exactly does your company, Woody Johnson Inc., produce?
产二氧化碳啊
We produce carbon dioxide.
只产这个? - 没错
That's it? - Yep.
咱就缺你这种敢做还敢说的英雄 Johnson先生
We need more heroes like you, Mr. Johnson.
你同意吗 比尔•奈? - 不 我完全不同意
Wouldn't you agree, Bill Nye? - No, I couldn't disagree more.
美国科学教育家 因《比尔教科学》节目而出名
你那领结逗得老子想扁你个屁滚尿流
That bow tie makes me want to punch the shit out of you.
Bill Nye 科学哥 | Woody Johnson 二氧化碳巨头
Neil 全球变暖并非虚构
Neil, global warming is real.
脆莓工业园的二氧化碳水平已达到历史新高
And the CO2 level in Brickleberry industrial park is the highest on record.
科学家就是搞基的江湖骗子而已
A scientist is basically a gay wizard.
严谨地来说 指数马上就到危险的红区了
Scientifically speaking, it's almost in the dangerous red zone.
到了红区会怎么样?
What happens if it goes into the red?
还没遇到过 但肯定不是好事
We don't really know, but it won't be good.
故意增加碳足迹 如Woody Johnson先生所为
Knowingly increasing your carbon footprint
绝对是可耻的行迳
like Mr. Johnson is doing is absolutely despicable.
我是比尔•奈 这屌♥味道真好
I'm Bill Nye. This dick tastes so good.
好吃 好吃 呣呣呣
Nummy, nummy. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
老娘这辈子都没这么糟心过
This was the worst day of my life!
我这辈子都没这么开心过
This was the best day of my life!
今天过得如何 Ethel姐妹? - 好得不能再好
How was your day, sister Ethel? - Greatest day ever.
好哎 好哎 好哎 咱们一辈子都住这儿吧
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. I think we should live here forever.
跟"屙米屎人"在一起真是无拘无束
I really feel at home among the Aim-ish.
首先 发音是"阿米什人"
First of all, it's Amish!
基♥督♥教分支 以拒绝汽车及电力等现代设施 过简朴的生活而闻名
其次 你那张脸就像一坨裹了猩猩毛的翔
Second, your face looks like a fat turd rolled in orangutan hair.
但做祷告的时候
But at prayer service
你不是还说我长得像林肯强♥奸♥"胡萝卜头"留下的种吗?
you said I looked like Abe Lincoln raped Carrot Top.
"胡萝卜头"是美国喜剧演员 拉斯维加斯金字塔酒店的头牌 一头红发
老娘要自己静一静
I need some alone time!
老娘只能借着烛光去读圣经了
I guess I'll go read the bible by candlelight.
Ethel 抱歉我刚才说成了"阿妈屎人"
Ethel, I'm sorry I mispronounced Am-osh.
我... 嘿 - Connie
I, uh, hey! - Connie...!
你在玩"快乐飞飞鸟"?
Is that Happy dappy bird?
你怎么能这样? 当时是你逼着我扔掉我的东西
How could you do this after you made me throw away all my stuff?
这样的生活实在好艰苦
Living like this was just too hard.
你个装逼婊 而且你还破了咱"爱妹屎人"的戒规
You're a hypocrite, and you broke the rules of our Aa-mish people.
对不起嘛 Connie - 对不起?!
I'm sorry, Connie. - Sorry?!
你知道用手摇式震动棒有多痛苦吗?
Do you know how much it sucks using a hand-cranked vibrator?
对不起 失陪了
Now if you'll excuse me
老娘得去挑鲍鱼里的木刺
I've got to go pick the splinters out of my cooch.
从周二起老娘就一直在尿牙签
I've been pissing toothpicks since Tuesday!
每三英尺一坨 知道这意味着什么吗?
Every 3 feet. You know what that means?
奶牛很能拉? - 这是种征兆
That cows shit a lot? - It's a sign!
奶牛们在尝试传达某种信息
The cows are trying to communicate something.
难不成你是阴谋论患者?
What are you, some kind of conspiracy nut?
这些牛很可能只是想说
These cows are probably just trying to say
"来尝免费致幻小蘑菇"
"free psychedelic mushrooms."
你不会一直在吃那玩意儿吧?
You haven't been eating those, have you?
你怎么会这样说?
Now what makes you say that?
好啦 Steve 我还需要更多关于未来的重要信息
Okay, Steve, I need some more important information about the future.
我会喜欢亚当•桑德勒的那部新电影吗?
Will I like that new Adam Sandler movie?
美国喜剧演员
你说它跟《辛德勒的名单》一样搞笑
You say it's about as funny as Schindler's List.
奥斯卡名片 德国商人拯救犹太人 催人泪下
哇 有那么搞笑?! 再来一次 Steve
Wow! That funny?! One more, Steve.
吃了这个卷饼会窜稀吗?
Will this chalupa give me the shits?
墨西哥小吃 传言吃了容易拉肚子
这次环境灾害可能意味着人类的灭绝
This environmental disaster that could mean the end for mankind
第五频道新闻 新闻快讯 我们"屎"定了
祸根归咎于一个人 Woody Johnson
is being blamed on one man: Woody Johnson.
Jim 不要停 - 停不下来 卡在里面了
Oh, Jim, don't stop. - I can't stop. I'm stuck.
你还活着啊 这东西我就先留着吧
Oh, you're alive. I'll just save this for later then.
强酸
Woody Ethel之前所说都是对的
Woody, Ethel was right about everything.
你必须关掉这鬼地方
You've got to shut this place down.
老天 别告诉我你也要开始逼逼全球变暖这种屁话了
God, don't tell me you're going to start with this global warming horseshit.
Woody 你我都清楚我可以预见未来 对吧
Woody, we both know that I can see the future, right?
嗯哼 - 那能预知未来的人
Uh-huh. - So when a person that can see the future
告诉你全球变暖真实存在
tells you that global warming is real
你是不是应该相信他才对?
don't you think you should believe him?
我只信不争的事实
I only believe hard facts,
比如怀胎的处♥女♥ 会说话的蛇 会魔法的犹太人
like pregnant virgins, talking snakes, and magical Jews.
现实很骨感 关掉这地方 否则大家都得死
It's simple. Shut this place down, or everyone will die!
如果你想让Woody公♥司♥停工
If you want Woody Incorporated shut down
你得先干掉我
you'll have to kill me first.
现在 未来仔 你预见到爷要做啥没?
Now, future boy, tell me if you saw this coming.
咋啦 Woody? - Steve 在你碎一地前快告诉我
What's up, Woody? - Steve, real quick before you go splat
吃了这个卷饼会窜稀吗? - 会的
will the chalupa give me the shits? - Yes, it will.
管它娘的 老子还是要吃
Ah, [bleep] it. I'm eating it anyway.
真是立竿见影
Oh, that was quick.
Denzel 咱们得杀掉Woody - 对
Denzel, we have to kill Woody. - Yep.
你不想知道原因吗? - 不
Don't you want to know why? - Nope.
但我打不过Woody啊
But I'm no match for Woody.
Steve 你有预见未来的能力
Steve, you have the ability to see into the future.
你就像个超级英雄 - 我得被整麻了才有能力
You're like a superhero! - That's only when I'm being shocked.