脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E07

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

你生过恶魔之子?
You gave birth to the antichrist?
当然生过
of course she did.
对小手手说得没错
Yeah, that hand's right.
事情就发生在我搞那个解冻的女野人之后
It was right after I banged that thawed-out cavewoman.
参见S02E01
我们可以走了吧?
Now can we go?
我还要帮我朋友Steve去买♥♥吸奶器呢
I gotta buy a breast pump for my friend Steve.
他怀孕了 - 男人怀孕?
He pregnant. - A man is pregnant?
没啥大不了的啦 Steve身上怪事多了去了
Oh, that's nothing. All kinds of stuff happens to Steve.
他当过黑人男同还有女同
He was a black guy, a gay man, a gay woman
分别参见S01E05 S01E06 S03E02
还当过吃自己大便的瘫痪人
And a quadriplegic that ate his own shit.
参见S02E05
咱没病吧?
See?
这些故事哪儿特么不正常了?
What is so crazy about these goddamn stories?
你不收钱是几个意思?
What do you mean you don't want the money?
我试过刁难他
I tried to be difficult
但Steve这家伙把我照顾妥妥的
But that Steve feller took good care of me!
他肯定会是个好父亲的
He's gon' be a real good daddy.
看来老娘只有亲自下手了
Guess I'll have to take matters into my own hands.
Steve 咱俩谈谈
Steve, we need to talk.
就这样好惹火啊
Oh, yeah. That's hot.
这是要上杂♥志♥封面啊?
This for a magazine or something?
不我用来自爽的
No, no, just for me.
现在弯下腰去把小菊花露出来
Now, bend over and show me your pooterus.
Steve 我应该向你道歉
Steve, I owe you an apology.
最近我对你实在不好但看着你这个样子
I've been horrible to you lately, but seeing you like this...
或者又是这个样子
Oh, and like that...
这个倒真不怎么样
And not so much that one.
让我意识到我的确想陪着你把孩子生下来
But it makes me realize that I do want to have this baby with you.
太棒了 Ethel
That's great, Ethel.
那咱俩去参加一些绝对安全的家庭娱乐活动你觉得怎么样?
So what do you say you and I go on some perfectly safe family fun activities?
流产飞车
锈衣架工厂
废衣架 (坊间流传可用衣架直接自己堕胎)
你不知道你不知道
You don't know. You don't know.
你不知道你不知道
You don't know. You don't know.
老子当然不知道
Of course I don't know.
这个游戏就叫"猜猜看"啊混♥蛋♥
It's called "guess who," mother[bleep].
Connie在哪? 我们得谈谈
Where's Connie? We need to talk.
我看她刚交了个新朋友
I think she made a new friend.
好哎咱们要去印度啦
Whee! We're going to India!
好哎好哎好哎 - 够了别再疯了
Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! - All right, you cuckoos.
咱们该从这鬼地方逃出去了
It's time to bust out of this nest.
为什么? - 咱们先...
Why? - So let's--
居然还问我为什么? 咱都特么进了精神病院了
What do you mean why? We're in a goddamn mental institution.
这儿挺不错的啊 - 是啊我也喜欢
Aw, I like it here. - Yeah, I like it too.
虽然有点凉啦但...
I mean, it's a little cold, but...
凉? 你就抱怨这个? 只是凉而已?
Cold? That's your complaint? It's cold?
管你俩喜不喜欢都得跟老子逃出去
You two are busting out whether you like it or not.
计划是这样的
So here's the plan.
首先咱们得在墙里挖条隧♥道♥
First, we're going to tunnel through the wall
用这小勺
With this spoon.
然后顺着排雨沟一路爬到停车场
Then we'll crawl through the storm drains until we get to the parking lot.
Connie负责麻翻警卫同时Denzel去偷车
Connie will then chloroform the guards as Denzel hijacks a car
咱们开车撞开大门冲向自♥由♥
Which we'll use to bust through the gates and drive ourselves to freedom.
赶紧的开搞吧
Now, let's do this!
诶操蛋
Oh, shit!
想逃跑是吧?
Trying to escape, huh?
带他去...
Take him to...
特殊治疗室
The special treatment room.
特殊治疗室? 听起来好别致喔
Special treatment room? That sounds awesome.
我倒是希望能有个新室友
I hope this means I get a new roommate.
生命无罪 - 堕胎无罪
Pro-life! - Pro-choice!
脆莓医疗中心
别走等一下这哥们是怀孕了么?
Hold on! Wait a minute! Is that a pregnant dude?
老天爷啊这简直是对上天的亵渎
Dear lord! It's an abomination to god!
他应该堕掉
He should abort it.
不对他不该堕这是科学的奇迹
No, he shouldn't! It's a miracle of science!
堕胎无罪 - 生命无价
Pro-choice! - Pro-life!
死胎死胎死胎
Dead baby, dead baby, dead baby.
有心跳了喔 - 我靠
We have a heartbeat. - Damn it!
老天爷我擦嘞
[bleep] you, god.
我是说"好哎"
I mean yay.
生活太美妙了 Ethel
Isn't this wonderful, Ethel?
参加过那些夫妻牵手活动之后
And after all that couple stuff we did
咱俩更亲密无间了
You and I are even closer.
Steve 我不想要这个孩子我从没想过要孩子
Steve, I don't want this baby! I never wanted this baby!
苍天啊我都把你推下楼梯还摔在一堆衣架上了
For god's sake, I pushed you down a flight of stairs into a pile of coat hangers!
如果是男孩咱们叫他"神秘吸血鬼"如何?
If it's a boy, could we name him "Dracula Untold"?
出自2014年同名吸血鬼电影
不是你的原因 Steve
It's not about you, Steve.
我就是不想做母亲而已永远不想
I just don't want to be a mother, ever.
我不想要这个孩子就算是别人的种也不想
I wouldn't want this baby, even if it were someone else's.
你说得真是时候这孩子就是别人的种
Funny you should say that, because it is someone else's.
这家伙的
This guy's.
我天拉维商城的家庭财富后继有人啦
I hear there's an heir to the Skymall family fortune!
壕哥这是真的吗?
Rich, is this true?
没错看我这款可进行DNA亲子鉴定的伏地魔壁挂不会错了
Yes, according to my dna-paternity test lord voldemort wall display.
天拉维 - 我要当妈了
Skymall! - I'm gonna be a mommy!
听说你怀孕的时候我就知道孩子是我的
When I heard you were pregnant, I knew it was mine.
我的小蝌蚪可健壮呢
I've got strong swimmers
全靠这款旅行装储精器
thanks to my travel-sized sperm-ometer.
精♥子♥活跃度: 强
嘿♥咻♥好帮手天拉维
Skymall after dark! Shh!
这也太扯了
This is bullshit!
你俩啥时候睡过?
When did you even sleep together?
我们去Epstein酒吧那晚啊
The night we went to Epstein's bar.
哈那就不可能了
Aha! That's impossible
因为那晚Ethel是跟我睡的记得吗?
Because Ethel slept with me that night, remember?
那晚的事我什么也不记得了
I don't remember anything from that night.
反正我们就是睡了我可以证明
Well, we did sleep together, and I can prove it!
那晚爱爱时我录了像了
I videotaped the night we had sex.
好了未来的Steve和未来的Ethel
Okay, future Steve and future Ethel
你们硬了吗?
You guys hard?
必须特么的硬啊
[bleep] yeah, you're hard.
我要和Ethel做的事情
The things I'm about to do to past Ethel
会突破你们的脑洞极限
Are gonna blow your mind.
怎么回事?
What--what happened?
起来啊昏睡Steve
Get up, past Steve!
天啊他死了
Oh, god! He's dead!
你给谁发短♥信♥呢?
Who are you texting?
太好了我没和Steve做♥爱♥
Yes! I didn't make love to Steve!
天啊还有比这更糟的事情嘛
God, this couldn't get any worse.
天拉维
Skymall!
Woody 我来帮你摆脱幻觉
Woody, I'm going to rid you of your delusions.
我问你问题如果你给我非理性的回答
If you answer my questions with an irrational response
我就电击你
I will shock you.
你能做到的 Johnson 谎话混过去就行
You can do this, Johnson. Just lie your way through it.
我还给你接上了测谎仪
You're also attached to a lie detector.
如果你撒谎我会电击你
So if you lie, I will shock you.
操蛋了
Oh, shit.
问题一你是和一只会说话的熊一起生活吗?
Question one: Do you live with a talking bear?
是的我没有拿我没招...
Yes, I don't. Ha. That ought to--
你撒谎了
That was a lie.
好吧我是
Okay, I do!
你这是说胡话
That was delusional.
你到底想要干嘛?
What the hell do you want?
我要帮助你
I want to help you.
再问你一遍你是和一只会说话的熊一起生活吗?
Again, do you live with a talking bear?
如果我不回答呢?
What happens if I don't answer?
那你就有冰激凌吃了
You get an ice cream.
我能吃冰激凌? - 你说胡话了
I get an ice cream? - Delusional.
谢谢你来 Steve
Thanks for meeting us, Steve.
我们想跟你谈谈代♥孕♥的事天拉维