脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E10

Part 2 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

你被聘用了 - 好棒棒呀
That you're hired. - Oh, goodie!
什么? - 赞
What? - Yes!
Woody 你怎么能雇那妞儿来做事?
Woody, how could you possibly hire that girl?
你知道她上班第一天早上闯了什么祸吗?
Do you know what she did her first morning on the job?
你射伤了我丈夫
You shot my husband!
噢我还以为他是头熊在袭击你呢
Oh, I thought he was a bear attacking you.
他不是什么熊他是亚美尼亚人
He's not a bear! He's just Armenian.
没事的她太性感了 - 熊
It's okay. She's hot. - Bear!
于是这世界上添堵的人又少了一个
So the world has one less clogged shower drain.
Amber哪里也不去 Ethel
Amber ain't going anywhere, Ethel.
早上好大伙们
Good morning, everybody.
那么Ethel 成为新一任的Connie感觉怎么样?
So, Ethel, how's it feel to be the new Connie?
Woody 按照你的吩咐我把自己所有脏内♥裤♥都放到你房♥间去了
Woody, I put all my dirty panties in your cabin like you asked.
接下来要我做什么?
What's my next assignment?
把我掉地上的铅笔给捡起来
Oh, pick up them pencils I dropped on the floor.
在哪儿? - 在这儿
Where? - Here's good.
慢慢捡就好
Nice and slow-like.
这活儿真简单
This job is easy.
貌似我护手霜涂得太多了
Oh, it's like I have lotion all over my hands.
皮肤很干啦
I have dry skin.
而且刚我打了个手♥枪♥
Plus I beat off earlier.
能给我放五分钟假吗?
Can I have a five-minute break?
我得回去把塑身裤给弄干天呐
I need to wring out my spanx. Oh, god.
随你们便
Whatever.
等Amber顶替疯Harold去火警塔值班
At least Amber can't do much damage after she replaces
她就闹不出什么乱子了
crazy Harold up in the fire tower.
火警塔? 得了吧
Fire tower? The hell with that.
她有更重要的任务
She has more important things to do.
比如?
Like what?
Denzel 你去火警塔上值班 - 让我想想
Denzel, you're going to the fire tower. - So let me get this straight.
你是让我一个人到火警塔上无所事事地坐着?
I'll be up there by myself with nothing at all to do?
嗯哼 - 我做梦都想干这活儿
Uh-huh. - Sounds like my dream job.
回见了白皮猪们
See y'all crackers later.
但你不怕一个人在那上面住久了...
But aren't you afraid you'll go insane up there
会像Harold一样精神失常吗?
all by yourself, like Harold did?
我才不会疯掉呢只有白皮猪才会疯掉
I ain't gonna go insane. Only white people go insane.
你们都不知道怎么放松
Y'all don't know how to relax.
我敢赌你到那儿五分钟内就会疯掉
I'll bet you go crazy within five minutes.
随便你怎么说
Oh, whatever, man.
天那黑鬼真去火警塔了我会想念他的
Wow, I'll really miss that [bleep] when he goes to the fire tower.
天呐我们这里不准这样说的
Whoa. We don't use that term here.
抱歉但我真的开始想念那个去什么"瞭望塔"的黑鬼了
Oh, sorry. I'll really miss that [bleep] when he goes to the "watchtower."
噢种族歧视在我眼里居然变可爱了
Aw, I've never seen racism be so adorable.
我肯定Denzel可不会这么觉得
Well, I'm sure Denzel wouldn't agree.
不是挺可爱我只不爽丑人这样叫我
Yes, I would. It's only wrong when ugly people say it.
再见 Amber - 再见黑鬼
Bye, Amber. - Bye, [bleep]!
你们知道不? 去你们丫的
You know what? Screw you guys.
老娘回自己的动物孤儿庇护所专心工作了
I'm going to go work on my orphan baby animal sanctuary.
噢我要去我爱死"物动"宝宝了
Oh, I want to go! I like baby "aminals."
一切随你的意小亲亲
Anything for you, honeypot.
Ethel 带上Amber给她好好上一课
Ethel, take Amber and show her the ropes.
噢我会好好给她上一课的
Oh, I'd love to show her the ropes.
这货死了居然还是比Ethel火♥辣♥
She's dead and she's still hotter than Ethel.
妈的
God damn it!
这些都是忽悠忽悠忽悠忽悠
These are all lies. Lies, lies, lies!
这些都不是我挣的是我老妈的木耳挣的
I didn't earn these. My mom's vagina did.
是你老妈的木耳挣的才对吧
More like your mom's vagina did.
等等你用我自己的侮辱话打败了我吗?
Wait, wait, did you just beat me to my own insult?
Steve 你刚凭你一己之力做出了一番成就
Steve, you just accomplished something on your own.
是嘛? 我是说没错
I did? I mean, I did!
除非你和我妈睡过才会说这话
Unless my mom banged you so you would say that.
不但你吃热狗大赛的一等奖
No, but she did bang you into first place
是她给你睡出来的
for a hot dog eating contest.
估计那天我妈我俩都吃了不少香肠
Huh, I guess we both swallowed a lot of wieners that day.
嘿我想到了
Hey, that gives me an idea.
我可以以自己的实力重新把这些事做一遍
I can go back and try to earn all these things I've gotten in life
把这些奖都赢过来
but for real this time.
妈请把你为我人生中的成功...
Mom, I want a list of everybody you've ever banged
睡过的每个人都列出来
in order to get me something in life.
她已经在给我发传真了
She's faxing it to me now.
谁会装传真机啊?
Who has a fax machine?
我在文印店那会儿有人给了我一台然后...
Oh, I was in Staples and someone just gave it to me, and I...
我了个擦妈
God damn it, mom!
看来文印店的家伙知道她好上 - 我想文店店的家伙知道...
I guess they found her easy button. - I guess they found her...
我该给自己放一周假了
Oh, I could have taken the week off.
保姆治疗专家一夫老师咨♥询♥顾问牧师
空手道
这次靠的是我自个儿 - 嗯你成功了
I did it on my own this time. - Yes, you did.
但我好怀念在你妈花蕊里练拳的日子
But I miss giving your mother fist training in her lady parts.
Ethel Anderson动物孤儿庇护所
萌萌萌
Oh, cute, cute, cute!
小心点它父母被捕食之后
Be careful. I rescued that poor little guy
我好不容易才救出这个小可怜
after his parents were killed by predators.
好可怜铁血战士干的吗? 快召唤"阿诺•屎娃星哥"
Oh, no, the Predator? Someone call Arnold Schwarze-[bleep]!
阿诺•施瓦辛格主演的科幻电影片中铁血战士被施瓦辛格打败
不是这么发音的完全不对
That's not how you pronounce it, at all.
嘿小鸟儿
Hey, little birdie.
你不用那么伤心来
You don't need to be so sad. Here.
你这是干嘛?
What did you just do?
喂它左洛复让它开心啊 [抗抑郁药]
I gave it a Zoloft to make him happy.
左洛复不能喂鸟
You can't give a bird Zoloft!
哎哟不好
Oh, no.
来片儿阿得拉中和一下好了吧?
That Adderall will take the edge off. See?
阿得拉是中枢神经兴奋药物
飞吧上帝的小生灵
Fly away, god's creature.
这工作真够理想只管闲逼卧着就有钱拿
What a dream job, getting paid for sitting on my ass and chilling.
那些傻缺还以为我一个人在这上面
Them fools think I'm gonna go crazy in five minutes
五分钟之内就会发疯
just because I'm up here by myself.
哥都在上面呆了四分钟啦
I've already been up here four minutes
一辈子都没那么精神正常过
and I ain't never felt more sane in my life.
对不对呀细面猫头鹰?
Ain't that right, owl made out of spaghetti?
甭担心 Denzel
Don't-a worry, Denzel.
我看你绝对木有问题
I think-a you're gonna be just-a fine.
感谢大家今晚到场...
Thank you all for being here tonight
庆祝"Ethel Anderson动物孤儿庇护所"正式开业
to celebrate the opening of the Ethel Anderson Orphan animal sanctuary.
Ethel Anderson动物孤儿庇护所盛大开业
人呢?
Hello?
letterbox: 一种屏幕显示格式落后于宽屏幕
亚洲人是不是还在用4:3的屏幕看电视呢?
So... do Asian people see the world in letterbox?
是是你说啥就是啥
Sure, sure, whatever you say.
"欢迎Amber"?
"Welcome, Amber"?
我们该庆祝的是我的庇护所盛大开业好吧
We're supposed to be celebrating the grand opening of my animal sanctuary.
计划有变丑娘
Change of plans, fugly.
给老子滚开你挡着老子看Amber了
Now scram; you're blocking my view of Amber.
今晚属于老娘
This is my night!
不属于某个种族歧视的嗑药妹她不就是胸靓
This is not about some racist pill-popper with nice tits.
谢谢你哦 Ethel
Aw, thanks, Ethel.
也谢谢你来参加我的欢迎会
And thanks for coming to my welcome party.
你看起来很萌哦
You look so cute.
Amber 你这样说Ethel好话真是心地善良给叔抱一个
Amber, you are so sweet for lying to Ethel like that. Give me a hug.
从背后再抱一个
Now one from behind.
你骚够了吧 Woody
Enough of this bullshit, Woody.
你知我知脆莓的任何工作她都胜任不了
We both know that she's not fit to do any job at Brickleberry.
她肯定能你想干什么"活儿"啊 Amber?
Sure she is. What job would you like, Amber?
我喜欢小"物动" - 好主意
I like the baby "aminals." - Good idea.
从现在起名字改成"Amber动物孤儿庇护所"了
From now on, this is the Amber Orphan "aminal" sanctuary
Amber动物孤儿庇护所盛大开业
你来负责哟
and you're in charge.
Woody 你没权利这样做
Woody, you can't do that.
爷已经做完了
Already done.
给老子爬开保姆大妈欢迎会的气氛要被你搞糟了
Now cut out, Nanny McPhee. You're bringing down the party.
Nanny Mcphee是著名的魔法保姆长相极为丑陋
来点劲儿大的好吗? - 滚开母夜叉
Can I get something strong? - Beat it, sea world.
Connie 你还要在我柜子里加装摄像头啊?
Oh, Connie, are you putting up more cameras in my cabin?
不是我是拆下来然后装到Amber衣柜里去