脆莓公园（2012）

♪ 做我 做我 做我 做我 做我的好基友 ♪
♪ Be my, be my, be my, be my, be my, be my BFF ♪
♪ 好基友一辈子 甭管经历什么事 ♪
♪ best friends forever, whatever we endeavor ♪
♪ 肝连肝 不分离 ♪
♪ our bond won't ever sever ♪
♪ 不管啥事都在一起 ♪
♪ no matter whatso-whatsoever ♪
♪ 好基友 不分离 ♪
♪ Best friends forever, whatever... ♪
♪ 永远在一起 ♪
♪ together wherever ♪
♪ 好开心身旁就有你 ♪
♪ I'm happy settled in between ♪
♪ 做我 做我 做我 做我 做我的好基友 ♪
♪ be my, be my, be my, be my, be my, be my BFF ♪
♪ 哦 好基友 ♪
♪ oh, best friend ♪
我就说这个洞会有福利的
医院
好啦 咱们的48小时差不多过完了
Well, I guess our 48 hours is almost up.
如果我要跟谁做连体手术的话
If I had to be surgically attached to anybody
我很高兴那个人是你 Steve - 真的? 谢啦 老兄
I'm glad it was you, Steve. - Really? Thanks, buddy.
好啦 时间到 Woody
Well, it's time, Woody.
你真走运 今天没有同性恋非法移♥民♥需要植肝
Lucky for you, there's not one single gay, illegal immigrant who needs a liver today.
我爆肝了
My liver exploded.
糟了
Oh, not good.
你们知道"倒血霉"这个医学名词不?
Are you familiar with a medical term called "jinxing"?
看起来你得跟Steve一起参加你的受勋仪式了
Yeah. Looks like you'll be stuck with Steve for your event.
我靠啊 不会吧 我怎么老遇到这种破事?
God damn it, no! How could this happen to me?
Woody 有啥大不了的? 咱们一起去就得了
Woody, what's the big deal? We'll just go together.
有啥了不起的?
"What's the big deal?"
老子告诉过你一千遍了 Steve 老子不要你在场
I've told you a thousand times, Steve! I don't want you there!
我 我还以为现在咱俩关系不同了
But I-I thought things were different now.
我还以为你喜欢我了 - 啥都没变
I thought you liked me. - Nothing is different.
摊上那种破事 我只是想好过点而已
I was just making the best of a shitty situation.
老子不喜欢你 永远也不会
I don't like you, and I never will!
你不配有我这样的朋友
You don't deserve a friend like me.
你俩能别处去闹吗?
Can you fellows take this argument someplace else?
我这里有非法移♥民♥要做手术呢
I have an illegal to operate on.
我要麻醉
I need anesthesia.
此处anesthesia既指麻醉 也指人名
蔴蕞?
Anesthesia?
吵啥吵 草泥马 老娘刚要睡着
What you want, mother[Bleep]? I'm tryin' to sleep!
你特么吃啥呢你? - 生培根
What the hell are you eating? - Raw bacon.
不许你生吃培根 - 行吧
You can't eat raw bacon. - All right, then
那我喝这杯94盎司的可乐好了
I'll just drink this 94-ounce Coca-Cola.
生培根弄得我好渴
Raw bacon makes me thirsty.
其实 我禁止你喝大杯饮料 吃生培根
Well, I'm banning big sodas, raw bacon
以及其它任何可能弄废你的东西 包括枪♥支♥
and anything else that'll [Bleep] you up, including guns.
枪也不行? 那我撸管时嘴里该放点啥?
Guns? What am I gonna put in my mouth when I jack off?
你为啥这样对我 Bobby? - 因为如果你病了或者受伤
Why are you doing this, Bobby? - Because if you get sick or hurt
埋单的可是老子 你个蠢杂种
I'm gonna have to pay for it, you dumb son of a bitch.
知道不? "奥巴比"把我爱的一切都夺走了
You know what? O'Bobbycare took away everything I love.
奥巴马才不会像这样伤害我
Obama would never hurt me like this.
对啊 他真是个混♥蛋♥ 真受不了他
Yeah, he's a real jerk. I can't stand him.
没有 他就在我旁边
No. He's right next to me
美国女演员 导演
还留着他那撮凯瑟琳•特纳式的傻X大胡子
with his big, stupid Kathleen Turner mustache.
干♥你♥娘♥ 那个电♥话♥是假的好吧
[Bleep] You. That's not even a real phone.
知道他什么人了吧? - 唐氏综合症患者?
See what I'm dealing with? - Down syndrome?
俗称先天愚型 患病儿童常智力低下
我为你准备了个惊喜哟 Steve
I've got a surprise for you, Steve.
盒子里是什么?
What's in the box?
美国女演员
大家都希望是格温妮丝•帕特洛的脑袋吧
I think we're all hoping it's Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
马上你们就知道了
Oh, you'll see.
这法宝能防止你搞砸了我的大事
It's my plan to keep you from screwing up my event
同时还能让我像个英雄
and make me look like a hero in the process.
Woody? Woody 别啊
Woody? Woody, no!
别这样 别这样 你这是干嘛?
No, no, no, no! What are you doing?
欢迎奥巴马
今晚的主角原来在这儿呐 - 嘿 见到你很高兴
Ah, here is the man of the hour. - Hey, great to see you.
你身边的这位是?
And who is your guest?
这小子得了癌症 我救了他一命
This is a cancer kid. I saved his life
把他缝到我身上 他就可以用上我的肝
had him sewn to me, so he could share my liver.
癌症把他的肝废了
The cancer took his.
老天爷 你叫什么名字 孩子?
Dear God. What's your name, son?
忘了告诉你 他还是个哑巴 而且脑子基本瘫了
Did I mention he's also a mute and pretty much brain dead?
那他就是个脑瘫的哑巴咯?
So he's brain dead and a mute?
本来他可以说话的 可惜扁桃体得了癌
Well, he wasn't born a mute. He had tonsil cancer.
我还以为他得的是肝癌
Oh, I thought he had liver cancer.
的确有肝癌 他这是两头堵
Oh, he does. He's getting it from both ends.
癌症在这脑残小杂种身上开火车一样蹿来蹿去
Cancer's running a train on this brain-dead bastard.
不打扰你们了 玩得开心点
Well, have a splendid time.
你这招实在太贱 我永远都不会原谅你的
This sucks. I'll never forgive you for this.
你闭好嘴巴就行
You just keep your mouth shut.
别给我瞎胡闹 你个废物
You're not screwing this up for me, you annoying waste of space.
你好 Varnadoe议员 - 您身边这位是谁?
Oh, hello, Senator Varnadoe. - And who is this with you?
就是个得了癌的脑残哑巴而已
Just a shit-for-brains cancer mute.
他没几天活头了 无视他就行
He'll be dead soon, so just pretend he's not here.
来点蟹饼吗 先生们? - 我不用 我过敏过得厉害
Crab cakes, gentlemen? - Not for me. I'm highly allergic.
的确 这真是无上的光荣 哇 怎么突然好热
Yes, this is truly an honor. Whoa, did it get hot in here?
Johnson先生 您还好吗? - 好好 好得不得了
Mr. Johnson, are you feeling okay? - Yeah, yeah, I never felt better.
大家注意 总统已到
Attention, everyone, the president has arrived.
记住了 Connie 别跟现实脱节
Now remember, Connie, keep in touch with reality.
你瞧着吧
You'll see.
你好 小巴 - Connie
Hello, Barry. - Connie!
不好意思 我认识你吗? - 别装了
I'm sorry, do I know you? - You should.
上周你都发了一百多条下流短♥信♥给人家了 你个色狼
You've sent me over a hundred dirty texts in the last week, you pervert.
这家伙谁? 有点搞笑哈
Who is this guy? He's funny.
别再缠着我 我是认真的
Leave me alone. I mean it.
别过来 滚开
No, no.
你好呀 Connie
Hello, Connie.
你知不知道 刚才假装不认识你有多难?
Do you know how hard it was to pretend I didn't know you back there?
我编出这个傻X奖项 为的只是接近你
I had to make up this stupid award just to get close to you.
不行 小巴 我告诉过你好多次了 我是女同
No, Barry. I've told you a hundred times, I'm a lesbian.
我老婆也是啊
So was Michelle.
哥就喜欢挑战
I like a challenge.
你闻起来就像星期天的动物园一样
You smell like a petting zoo on a hot Sunday.
别这样 - 还记得我们第一次见面那天
Stop it. - I remember the first day we met.
你白花花的大屁♥股♥ 看得我都醉了
I was intoxicated by that big, pasty ass.
从那以后 我就一直追寻着你这头红发小母龙
I've been chasing that ginger dragon ever since.
小巴 你都结婚了 我们不可以这样
Barry, you're a married man. We can't.
语出奥巴马2010年大选获胜演说
我们可以的 Connie 我们当然可以
Yes, we can, Connie. Yes, we can.
总统先生 该您上台了
Mr. president, it's time to go on.
靠 我马上过去
Damn. I'll be right there.
待会再来玩你肉颤颤的丰腴大屁♥股♥
I'll be back for that big flappy, dappy ass.
请欢迎美♥利♥坚♥合众国总统
Please welcome the President of the United States
巴拉克•奥巴马
Barack Obama.
很荣幸在这样意义非凡的日子来到这里
It's a privilege to be here on this special day
给这位杰出的美国公民授勋
to honor a great American
同时也向我国雄伟壮观的国家公园之一脆莓公园致敬
and one of our nation's majestic national parks, Brickleberry.
国家公园风景辽阔 美不胜收
National parks are both big and beautiful
肉颤颤而丰腴
and flappy dappy.
这小子说得真好
The man is a good speaker.
接下来 言归正传
So, without further adieu
我向大家介绍今天的焦点
I'd like to introduce the man of the hour
他对自己救下的罹患癌症的脑瘫哑巴仍然不离不弃
accompanied by the brain-dead, mute cancer kid whose life he saved.
女士们先生们 请欢迎Woody Johnson先生
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Woody Johnson.
美国女演员
看啊 莉娜•杜汉姆出场了
Hey, look, it's Lena Dunham.
好勇敢
She's so brave.
这位好人不仅多次救助过罹患癌症的儿童
Now, this man not only saves cancer-stricken children's lives
而且更重要的是 几十年如一日地按时上班
but more importantly, shows up for work every day
因此 我要把这个奖颁发给您
and so I present this award to you.
谢谢您 总统先...
Thank you, Mr. presid...
美国万岁 美国万岁 美国万岁
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
天呐 怎么会变成这样?
Oh, God, how did this happen?
该不会是我吃的那盘蟹饼的问题吧?
Hmm, it wasn't that tray of crab cakes I ate, was it?
你害的我? 你个王八犊子
You did this? You son of a bitch
你毁了我人生中最好的一天
you ruined the best day of my life!
要不是我 你有个屁的人生