脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E03

Part 1 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

养老院
真是爽翻了宝贝儿
Whoo! That was good, baby.
我敢说从你上次中风后就再没有过刚那销魂的高♥潮♥表情
I bet you ain't made a face like that since your last stroke.
别点火我吸着氧...
Don't light that. I'm on oxygen...
恭喜你 Denzel
Congratulations, Denzel.
这是你本月第四次因性事牵连而受伤
This is your fourth sex-related injury this month.
我能说个啥医生? 和老女人睡觉很危险的
What can I say, doc? Sleeping with old ladies is dangerous.
救护车
我去
Oh, shit!
牙牙牙牙
Ah! Teefers! Teefers!
Denzel 你对老年妇女的反常迷恋
Denzel, your unnatural attraction to elderly women
在医学上称作恋老癖这种病通常是致命的
is a condition called gerontophilia, and it is often fatal.
致命? 我可以为老年穴去谋杀但可不想被谋杀
Fatal? I'll kill for pussy, but I ain't gonna die for it.
幸运的是这种病可以通过一种简单的门诊手术被治愈
Luckily, this condition can be cured by a simple outpatient procedure.
真的? 好那就做吧 - 先来做点准备工作
Really? Okay, let's do it. - Let's get you prepped.
嘿你在我脑瓢儿干啥...
Hey, what are you doing back...
来做测试看看
And now for the test.
Tammy Gladys 请你们进来一下好吗?
Tammy! Gladys! Could you come in here, please?
好了 Denzel 你对哪位比较有性趣?
Now, Denzel, which do you prefer?
护士? 还是老妪?
Nurse? Or hearse?
我正式宣布你已经被治愈 Denzel 感觉怎么样?
I now pronounce you cured, Denzel. How do you feel?
我想当一名消防员
I wanna be a fireman!

脆莓公园
♢ 症 ♢ 偏执绝非过错
♢ 井脑湿 ♢ 旗木联合译制
我不仅治好了恋老癖
And not only am I cured of my lust for grannies
还泡上了Kuzniak医生的俏护士Tammy
I'm dating Dr. Kuzniak's hot nurse, Tammy.
那可真是好伙计
That's great, buddy.
是啊我还一直以为你是什么怪胎呢
Yeah. I was starting to think you were some kind of weirdo.
吃香包的剃光毛大猩猩还好意思说这话
And that's coming from a shaved gorilla who eats potpourri.
吃香包让我的屁闻起来有圣诞节的味儿
It makes my farts smell like Christmas.
我也有事要宣布 - 得癌症了得癌症了得癌症了
I have big news, too. - Cancer, cancer, cancer...
不是哦我也正和人拍拖着呢
No. I'm also dating someone.
她叫TJ
Her name is TJ.
简直热辣得烫人还很擅长运动呢
She's smoking hot. She's athletic.
Steve 你是不能和在游戏中创建的角色约会的
Steve, uh, you can't date the characters you create on Wii Fit.
别打搅Steve
Oh, leave Steve alone.
能和想象出来的女朋友谈恋爱也很甜蜜呢
I think it's sweet he's got an imaginary girlfriend.
她不是想象出来的我会证明给你看
She's not imaginary. And I'll prove it.
我们来四人约会吧
Let's go on a double date.
没问题我带上Tammy 你就带上你的二次元Kate
All right. I'll bring Tammy. You bring Kate made-up-ton.
早上好同事们 [法语]
Bonjour, mon co-travailleurs.
你们不想知道我为什么说法语吗?
Don't you want to know why I'm speaking French?
因为你是个婊♥子♥ - 错
Because you're a whore. - No.
我要去参加国家公园小姐选美大赛了
I'm entering the Miss national park beauty pageant.
我还真是欲尿 [预料] 不出
I couldn't give two squirts of piss.
认真的我前列腺有梅丽莎•麦卡西的头那么大
Seriously, I got a prostate the size of Melissa McCarthy's head.
美国女演员
冠军会获得一张往返于世界任何地方的机票
First place is a round-trip ticket to anywhere in the world
而我要去巴黎
and I'm going to Paris.
这么确定第一名非你莫属?
How can you be so sure you'll win?
拜托再确定不过了好吧
Please. It's the surest bet ever.
我的对手们一看都是...
The rest of the contestants look like...
林警样 - 有必要么 Ethel?
park rangers. - Really, Ethel?
选美是一件充满了男性至上主义的蠢事
Beauty pageants are stupid and sexist.
拥有林警身材的人都是这么认为的
That's what people who look like park rangers always say.
"你死定了死胖子"
"You're a dead man, fatso."
说你呢 Connie
Oh, Connie, it's for you.
"我说的是你 Woody Johnson"
"I'm talking about you, Woody Johnson."
别特么再砸老子的窗户了
Stop breaking my [Bleep] window!
Woody 为什么说"你死定了"?
Woody, why did that rock say you're a dead man?
没什么
Oh, it's nothing.
也许是公园里的动物们和咱逗着玩呢
Probably just some of the animals having fun.
Steve 戴上这假胡子去发动我的车
Steve! Put on this mustache and go start my car.
不要 - 抓住你了 Johnson
No! - I got you now, Johnson!
大爷的我还以为别处再不安全暗黑死胡同也是安全的
God damn it. I thought the one place I'd be safe is a dark, dead-end alley.
闭上你的狗嘴
Shut the hell up!
快把欠我的两万刀还给我
Now give me the 20 grand you owe me.
我必须不能再赌魁地奇了
I have gotta stop betting on Quidditch.
《哈利•波特》系列中重要的空中团队对抗运动
还以为赫奇帕奇学院赢定了呢
I thought Hufflepuff was due.
《哈利•波特》系列中霍格沃茨魔法学校的四大学院之一
你最好立刻还钱否则我会找来个玻璃棒
You better pay up now. Or I'm gonna take a glass rod
用喷灯把它加热加烫接着插入你的...
heat it up with a blowtorch, and stick it up your...
肿么啦宝贝儿 Scoodles在毯毯上尿尿啦?
Hi, baby. Oh, Scoodles went pee pee on the rug?
爸比马上就回家家帮你清理干净哦
Well, I'll come home and clean it up straight away.
爸比爱你胜彩虹哟拜拜
I love you more than rainbows. Buh-bye.
接刚才说的...
So anyway...
玻璃棒烫死人的玻璃棒
Glass rod... blowtorch...
直接插入你的...
and it's going straight up your...
肿么啦甜果果
Hi, plum fairy.
想吃芝士蛋糕工厂的香滑榛子松露是吧?
Oh, you want hazelnut truffles from the cheesecake factory?
马上买♥♥回去绒绒小喵喵
Well, sure thing, fluffy kitten.
刚说哪儿了? - 玻璃棒?
Where was I? - Glass rod?
没错谢了玻璃棒
Right. Thank you. Glass rod!
我要... - 等等再给我个机会
I'm gonna... - Hold on. Give me another chance.
再赌一次输了双倍给你 - 赌什么?
A bet. Double or nothing. - On what?
等等让我想想
Uh, hold on. Let me think.
再确定不过了好吧
It's the surest bet ever.
赌Ethel能赢国家公园小姐选美大赛第一名
On Ethel Anderson winning the Miss national park beauty pageant.
好就这么说定了
Okay, you're on.
可要是你输了
And when you lose...
我就会用刚才讲到的玻璃棒插入...
I'm gonna take that aforementioned glass rod and...
肿么啦小绵羊放了Woody Johnson?
Hey, little lamb. Heh... leave Woody Johnson alone?
为啥捏? - 因为他是个好人
Why? - Because he's a nice man.
她说什么了?
Well, what'd she say?
哈你个吮屌♥衰人 - 我是吮屌♥衰人?
Ha! You are suck penis. - I am suck penis?
你最爱吸吮基佬的巨♥屌♥♥
Hmm. - You are suck big gay penis.
闭嘴你大爷的我正努力集中注意力呢
Shut up, God damn it. I'm trying to concentrate.
你输了轮到我用蛋蛋干♥你♥的脸了
You lose! Now I make sex in your face with my penis balls.
停止
Stop it.
说正经的呢停下来
I mean it! Cut it out!
吊茶包指将蛋蛋在对方口中上下晃动
吊茶包斩决
Tea bag termination.
我会报仇的你个贱种
I'll get you for this, you son of a bitch.
我在大天朝呢你能把我咋地傻X?
I in China. What you gonna do, bag of douche?
Woody 清洁工又把壁画给砸坏啦
Woody! The cleaning lady broke another picture.
我想你又会说不是你干的对吧 Inez?
So, I guess you didn't do that, either, did you, Inez?
就像你说没在我睡觉时打我...
Just like you didn't maul me in my sleep
没买♥♥过这些硬派色情熊电影一样?
or order all this hardcore bear porn?
♪ 云雀云雀可爱的云雀 ♪
♪ Alouette, gentille aloutte ♪
法国儿歌♥《云雀》
♪ 云雀云雀来给你梳毛 ♪
♪ aloutte, je te plumarai ♪
你好啊史上最美林警
Well, hello there, prettiest ranger ever.
你最喜欢哪件裙子?
Which dress do you like best?
我以为你戒掉异装癖了呢
Oh, see, I thought you stopped cross-dressing.
不是给我穿的你个愚蠢但... 通情达理的妹子
They're not for me, you stupid but ... perceptive lady.
是给你穿的
They're for you.
我会帮你赢得国家公园小姐从现在起我是你的教练
I'm gonna help you win Miss national park. I'm your new coach.
你开始关心起选美了?
So now you care about the pageant?
当然了我小命都靠这事来保住了
Hell yeah. My life is on the line here.
我是说你去巴黎的旅行我真的很在乎噢
I mean, heh, your trip to Paris. Which I really give a shit about.
少绕弯子到底什么鬼把戏?
Cut the crap. What's going on?
好吧好吧
All right, all right.
说实话我从杀人狂McGill那儿借了点钱
The truth is I borrowed some money from manslaughter McGill
如果你不能在选美上胜出
and if you don't win that pageant
他会拿一根玻璃棒插入我的...
he's gonna stick a glass rod up my...
好吧他没说是哪
well, he never told me.
但不管玻璃棒插哪对我都不是好事啊
But there isn't any good place to stick a glass rod!
我都等不及看到妹子们进来了
I can't wait for the girls to get here.
还从没玩过四人约会呢
I've never been on a double date.
赌20刀我的妞绝对比你的惹火
20 bucks says my girl's hotter than yours.
这我赌定了 - 好啊帅哥们
You are so on. - Hey, boys.
好啊宝贝 - 好啊