脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E09

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

This means war! You are now a sworn enemy of Woody Johnson.
除非你想咱俩从头来过重归于好?
Unless you want to start over and try to be friends again?
我不想
No, I don't.
老天爷这烂剧本谁写的?
Jesus, who wrote this shit?
而且呀他可以日椰子
And then, he could [bleep] a coconut!
编锯室 (二人配音为本剧两位主创)
艾美奖俺来啦
Hello, Emmy.
脆莓野生动物保护区
出来嘛 Mallory
Come on out, Mallory.
别害臊哦
Don't be shy.
当丑逼的心情我懂
I know what it's like to be the ugly one.
但慢慢会好起来的
But it gets better.
根本不会好起来
It doesn't get any better.
这个我搞得定
I can work with this.
脆莓野生动物保护区
Ethel Connie 老实说干得漂亮
Ethel, Connie, gotta say, nice work.
看得我都硬起来一半了
I actually have half a chub here.
那啥 Mallory 你好安静啊
So, Mallory, you've been quiet.
跟我聊聊你自己吧
Tell me something about yourself.
自然表现就好 Mallory
Be yourself, Mallory.
想骑着姐逍遥一下么?
Wanna take this train to [bleep] town?
你说啥?
I'm sorry?
射点出来让姐尝尝好么?
Can I taste yo' juice?
我都不敢确定我们在谈什么话题
I'm not even sure what we're talking about.
姐想一拳伸进你菊花
I want to punch you in the b-hole.
我够了
All right.
今天的关键词是"绝种"
And the word of the day is "extinction."
把姐倒挂起来用你蛋蛋蹭姐的双峰
Hang me upside down and speed bag my tits!
我的好基友背叛了我
Oh, my best friend betrayed me
怎么夺回公园我一点办法都没
and I have no way of getting my park back.
我该怎么办 Malloy? - 我也有自己的麻烦
What do I do, Malloy? - I got my own problems.
有个斜眼儿小荡♥妇♥想让我拳♥交♥她的菊花
Some cock-eyed woodchuck wants me to punch her in the b-hole.
难怪这个物种只剩下我一个
No wonder I'm the last of my species.
有啦你真是天才 Malloy
That's it. You're a genius, Malloy.
我不是但我还是可以让Steve蠢得赛过一麻袋干翔
No, but I still make Steve look dumber than a sack of dry shit.
sack有"麻袋"和"蛋蛋"双意
"麻蛋"
Sack.
Malloy 你干嘛遛掉啊?
Malloy, why'd you run off?
我觉得你和Mallory刚对上眼儿呢
I thought you and Mallory had a real moment there.
你指的是哪个眼儿?
What moment was that?
她让我用拳搞的那个"眼儿"么?
When she asked me to fistfight her lady lips?
是呀真特么够劲
Yeah, that was [bleep] hot.
Malloy 延续你的种群你义不容辞
Malloy, you have a responsibility to continue your kind.
你必须和她啪啪啪
You have to have sex with her.
我不如去死
I'd rather die.
那你让我别无选择了
Then you leave me no choice.
我开玩笑的
I wasn't serious!
好萌的昏迷样儿啊
Aw, what a cute little coma.
你这是干嘛?
What are you doing?
昨晚我从Mallory那里取到了一颗卵子
I was able to extract an egg from Mallory last night.
现在只要搞到Malloy的精♥子♥ 就可以人工授精了
Now I just need to get Malloy's sperm, and I can fertilize it.
精♥子♥
没事的 Ethel 只要闭上眼睛
It's okay, Ethel. Just close your eyes
假装你又在为逃掉超速罚单帮交♥警♥卖♥♥力撸管
And pretend you're tugging your way out of another speeding ticket.
Connie 搞到精♥子♥啦
Connie, I got the semen!
总算出来了
Yeah, it's about time.
我光是看了两小时都看累了
I got tired of watching after two hours.
跟撸麻醉管儿相比撸醉鬼的管儿简直不叫事
Yeah, whiskey dick's nothing compared to tranq spank.
我肯定得腕管综合症了
Pretty sure I have carpal tunnel now
但知道吗这么做也值了
But you know what, it was worth it.
Steve 你又涨了9斤
Steve! You gained 10 pounds!
我靠这衣服我永远都穿不上了
Damn it! I'll never fit in this uniform.
看来节食和锻炼都不适合你
Looks like diet and exercise aren't your thing.
咱们得试些新花样
We need to try something new.
可我啥都试过了连抽脂都不行啊
But I've tried everything. Not even liposuction worked!
难以至信你们居然要把这些好东西扔了
I can't believe you were going to throw this out.
好吃死了
It's delicious!
你要带我去哪儿?
Where are you taking me?
我在梦里正被撸得飞起呢
I was having the best tug job dream.
你得帮助我夺回这个公园给我安静点
You're going to help me save this park. Now be quiet.
市长你把这象牙搞满足了
Well, mayor, I guess you really tickled his ivories.
你要干嘛 Woody?
What do you want, Woody?
你说自己是个赌徒嘛
Well, I thought you might be interested in a little wager
我想我有你感兴趣的东西
Since you call yourself a betting man.
你还能有什么可赌的?
What could you possibly have that I want?
我已经把你所有的东西都夺走了
I've already taken everything from you.
不是所有东西喔看看这货牙口
Oh, not everything. Look at these gums.
这是在演《根》吗?
What is this, roots?
反映美国蓄奴制时期的电影片中有奴隶主看奴隶牙口叫价的场景
哇多嘴熊
Oh, my god! Ursus loquacious!
世界上最稀有的动物
The rarest animal on the planet
圣品啊
The holy grail.
赌局这么玩
Here's the bet.
我让你拿Malloy打猎 - 什么?
I'll let you hunt Malloy... - What?
但只给你一个小时
But only for one hour.
如果你杀不了它就把公园还给我
If you can't kill him, I get my park back.
你能不能想个不让我死的点子啊?
Can we think of a plan that doesn't involve my death?
那太麻烦了
Nah, too much trouble.
狩猎明天中午开始
The hunt starts at noon tomorrow.
成交
You got a deal.
准备好日那头犀牛吧
Get ready to mount that rhino.
排队等着去吧我喜欢这个外来妞
Get in line. Oh, I like these exotic women.
节食饿死我了
Ugh! This diet is making me hungry.
不知道这个"米青子"是谁我要吃这酸奶了
I don't know who see-mon is, but I'm eating his yogurt.
吃起来还挺刺♥激♥
It's got a kick to it!
Steve 你特么干什么呢?
Steve, what the [bleep] are you doing?
我知道我破了节食的规矩了
I know! I'm cheating on my diet.
破规矩? 你吃的是熊的精♥液♥
Cheating on your diet? You eating bear jizz!
天啊
Oh, my god!
天啊
Oh, my god!
"米青子"为啥要把名字写在装熊精♥液♥的杯子上啊?
Why would see-mon write his name on a cup of bear jizz?
Steve 你还好吧?
Steve, do you feel okay?
我吃了点不干净的酸奶
Uh, just got a hold of some bad yogurt.
正努力忘掉这糟心事呢
I'm trying not to think about it.
要不要来点木薯布丁?
Wanna split my tapioca pudding?
你说"不要"就可以了
You could've just said "no."
Woody的超级计划是牺牲我的性命...
So Woody's big plan is to sacrifice my life
换回这个破公园
To get his stupid park back.
毛绒小熊熊爸爸不会让你死的
Cubsy wubs, there's no way daddy's gonna let you die.
我都计划好了
I've got it all planned out.
计划什么我的葬礼吗? 吃我精♥液♥去吧 Woody
What? My funeral? Eat my jizz, Woody.
闭嘴
Shut up!
首先我要用熊脚印把Ford市长引到荆棘路上去
First, I'm going use bear tracks to lure mayor Ford to the brickleberry briar patch
这是计划的第一步
where stage one of my plot begins...
然后我们开始计划的第238步:
And that brings us to little ol' stage 238:
蝙蝠侠现身大喊: 正义必胜
Batman'll come swinging in and say, "justice!"
只要我们在中午前布置好你就没事了
So as long as we do this all before noon, you'll be fine.
现在12点45了
Uh, it's 12:45.
所以我需要在屁♥股♥里塞个闹钟嘛
You see, that's why I need an alarm clock in my ass!
喔 Malloy
Wow, Malloy!
我不知道你也在三个乳♥头♥俱乐部
I didn't know you were in the triple nipple club too.
该死快闪
Oh, crap! Move!
我走了你这计划真不错
I'm outta here. Great plan, Woody.
你要去哪? 外头太危险了
Where are you going? It's dangerous out there.
这里照样危险
It's dangerous in here.
如果真要死我不想死的时候还是处♥男♥
And if I'm gonna die, I'm not gonna die a virgin.
嘿有人把漂白粉放到我的蛋黄酱里去了
Hey! Someone spilled bleach in my warm salted mayonnaise.
你闻一下 Steve
You smell it, Steve?
这味道太像...
That's so specifi--
恶心死了
Ew, gross!
脆莓野生动物保护区
没多少时间了只能咱俩做♥爱♥了
There's not much time. We have to make love.
必须啊我擦
Shit, yeah, we do.
该给你亮亮老娘我的底了
Oh, it's time to serve up some panny pudding.