脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E07

Part 4 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

We want to talk about you being our surrogate. Skymall!
我有一些要求
I have some terms.
好吧
Um, okay.
再坏能怎么样?
How bad can it be?
我想让壕哥去死 - 做梦去吧
I want Rich to die. - Not gonna happen.
问问无妨
Worth a shot.
死掉死死亡瘫痪
"dead. Die. Death. Paralyzed."
Steve Steve Steve 我知道你很生气
Steve, Steve, Steve, I understand you're upset
但如果你给我们当代♥孕♥
But as payment for being our surrogate
我会给你十万块...
I'm prepared to offer you $100,000
天拉维消费卡
In Skymall credit.
我唯一要的就是Ethel
The only thing I want is Ethel.
我知道我们一贯处不来
I know we don't always get along
而且我的银行账户只是个被我射满精♥液♥的袜子但...
And my bank account's just a jizz-stained sock full of pennies, but--
想不想再来一发啊你个死变♥态♥佬
Would you like to make another deposit, you freaky bastard?
我想说的是如果你愿意给我一次机会
Anyway, I know that, if you would just give me a chance
我会让你幸福的
I could make you happy.
所以我才把这孩子放进我肚子里
That's why I put this baby in me.
哇 Steve
Wow, Steve.
真是太...
That's so...
悲伤了那是不可能的
Sad that's not gonna happen.
一旦你生下这个孩子
Once you have this baby
壕哥和我就会搬到他在日本的天拉维办事处去
Rich and I are moving to his Skymall offices in japan.
我要堕胎
I want an abortion!
Kuzniak医生我要预约堕...
Dr. Kuzniak, I need to schedule a--
你怎么来这么快?
How'd you get here so fast?
我这是去大学呢
Oh, I was heading to the university
有点春假结束的善后工作需要我处理
For a little post-spring break cleanup.
来个巧克力塔?
Choco taco?
Steve 你不能堕胎
Steve, you can't get an abortion!
我当然可以我的身子我做主
Yes, I can! My body, my choice!
他说得对
He's right!
但那孩子一开始是我肚子里的所以仍然我说了算
But it was in my body first, so it's still my choice.
她说得对
She's right!
但那是我播的种所以应该我说了算才对
But it was my seed, so I should make the choice for everybody.
有人觉得糊涂了吗? - 我糊涂了
Anybody else confused? - Yeah, I am.
要我说咱们把这小杂种灭了
I say we all agree to kill this [bleep]
然后去猫头鹰餐厅看那些女服务员露奶怎么样?
And go to Hooters and look at some titties.
我同意我是同性恋
Sounds good to me. I'm a lesbian.
我也同意我是个伪君子
Sounds good to me. I'm a hypocrite.
杀杀杀杀杀杀杀
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
随你们的便好了
With pleasure.
但有个问题我羊水破了
Just one problem: My water broke.
看来要等它生出来我再下手了
Well, looks like I'll have to kill this thing on the outside.
Steve 喘气 Ethel 握住他的手
Steve, breathe. Ethel, hold his hand.
Kuzniak医生看看施瓦辛格在《威龙二世》里怎么生孩子的
Dr. Kuzniak, look up how Schwarzenegger gave birth in the movie Junior.
剖腹产
Ah, c-section.
片子看够了我怎么才能接生孩子呢?
But enough about my theater seats. How do I get this baby out?
哇这声音我从来没听过啊
Wow. Haven't heard that sound ever.
这冰箱不是自动填满的么?
Why isn't this fridge magically filling itself?
Woody 你忘了交电费了
Woody, you forgot to pay the power bill!
好吧我得去疯人院救他出来了
Oh, that's right. I guess I have to spring him from that nuthouse.
我想进入你的身体
I want to be inside you.
为毛你那玩意还发光啊?
Why is that thing glowing?
开心树开心树开心树
Happy tree. Happy tree. Happy tree.
Woody是不是有点怪?
Does something seem weird about Woody?
没觉得 - Woody 把约束衣脱了咱们走
No. - Woody, pack your straitjacket. We're getting out of here.
不我的心魔来了
Ah! No! The demon from my mind!
给我滚开你不是真的
Get away from me! You're not real!
这是真的不?
Is this real?
耶稣大爷诶 - 有事吗孩子?
Jesus Christ! - Ha ha! Yes, my son?
嘿医生我的确会说话
Hey, doc. Turns out I can talk.
所以把这胖子老黑还有丑鬼放了吧
So I'll be taking home the fat, the black, and the ugly.
这熊会说话这熊会说话
It's a talking bear! It's a talking bear!
嗷 - 这熊会说话你们看到了他的确能说话
Growl. - It's a talking bear! No! No! You saw it! He was talking! He's a mother--
他说话了
He was talking!
哦是蜜蜂不要啊
Oh, no! Not the bees! Not the bees!
我的眼睛我的眼睛
My eyes! My eyes!
准备享受生产的快乐吧
Here comes that bundle of joy.
这会是我生命中最美好的一天
This is gonna be the greatest day of my life.
恭喜啦
Congratulations.
你生出了一个2斤3两的肿瘤
You've given birth to a beautiful, 5-pound, 2-ounce tumor.
什么?
What?
这怎么可能?
But how is that possible?
估计是你压根就没怀孕吧
Hmm, I guess you never were pregnant.
我应该是把Ethel的卵巢囊肿放你肚子里了
I must have transferred an ovarian cyst from Ethel's body into yours
当时以为是个胎儿呢
thinking it was an embryo.
那么超声检查还有婚检
What about the ultrasound and the checkups
和天拉维的基因测试是怎么回事?
And the Skymall dna test?
天拉维的产品全都是垃圾
Well, Skymall products are shit.
其他检测结果不准确是因为我嗑药嗑晕了
The rest are oversights that result from having your own prescription pad.
我要走了
Well, I'm out of here
看我用天拉维的飞鼠服飞出去
Using my patented Skymall flying squirrel suit.
天拉维
Skymall!
好吧我走了
All right. I'm leaving.
别急这货要是个肿瘤选择权在谁手里?
Wait. So if it was a tumor, whose choice was it?
你不知道你不知道
You don't know. You don't know.
你不知道
You don't know.
说实话我们都不知道
And none of us do, frankly.
堕胎是非常复杂的问题
Abortion is a very complicated issue.
谁特么在乎啊我们不是要去猫头鹰餐厅的嘛
Oh, who gives a shit? I thought we were going to Hooters.
看来皆大欢喜了
Well, all's well that ends well.
我把这拿去当肉馅了 - 不要
I'll go grind this into taco meat. - No!
我要留下它
I'm keeping it!