脆莓公园（2012）

Brickleberry S03E12

Part 3 Oct. 11, 2025, 7:32 p.m.

他们特么要吃脑子
They eat mother[bleep] brains!
听好了马斯科吉们
Listen up, Muskogees.
Woody酋长说这场比赛的赢家会奖励50个神盾积分
Chief Woody says the winner of this event gets 50 tribal shield points!
嗯是随便啦
Yeah, sure, whatever.
这特么是你们这辈子最重要的一次套袋赛跑
This will be the most goddamn important potato-sack race of your lives!
套袋赛跑
人家没搭档
I don't have a partner.
Woody酋长很乐意做你的搭档呢
Chief Woody would love to be your partner.
对喔快进到人家里面来
Yeah, come hop in the sack with me.
里面会有点紧但很温暖哦
It's tight inside, but it's warm.
紧紧紧紧? 暖暖暖暖?
T-t-t-t-tight? W-w-w-warm?
朝哪戳呢
Points!
point既有"得分"之意也有"指向"之意
液氮 (可用作深度制冷剂)
消停点小子消停下来
Down boy! Down boy!
现在嚣张不起来了吧你?
Not so big now, are you?
哈喽 Woody
Hello, Woody.
Tiffany 你不是该跟营员们呆在一块吗?
Tiffany, shouldn't you be with the other campers?
你我之间有种特别的东西 Woody 还没注意到吗?
There's something between us, Woody. Don't you feel it?
这东西是我的冰冻大巨♥屌♥♥ 我是说没注意过
That's my raging frozen penis. I mean I didn't notice.
而且你只是个孩子
Besides, you're just a kid.
人家马上就熟了
Not for much longer.
两天后我就18啦
I turn 18 in two days.
当真?
You do?
你憋得到那个时候吗?
Think you can last till then?
大爽之日
Woody 我们有麻烦了
Woody, we have a problem.
我知道液氮的预算赤字了
I know. We blew through our liquid-nitrogen budget.
营员们讨厌这里
The campers hate it here.
我的营员倒玩得挺开心
My kids are having fun.
瞧见没? 你们的娃怎就不能像Steve那四个"怪咖欢乐多"呢?
Now, see? Now, why can't your kids be more like Steve's four happy "queerdos"?
其他孩子都吵吵着要回家
The rest of the kids are saying that they want to go home.
谁都别想回去
No one is going home!
老子绝对不会退款的
I'm not giving any goddamn refunds.
喂老妈?
Hello, Mom?
这地方烂到家了
This place sucks nuts.
不过挺适合我的因为我搞基
Which is a good thing because I'm gay.
公用电♥话♥
什么? 我没你这个儿子
What? You're dead to me!
娃儿们别逼我因为士气低迷扣除你们的神盾积分啊
Kids, don't make me take away points on the tribal shield 'cause of low morale.
书上啥都没记
There's nothing in here--
只画了些毛茸茸的橄榄球
just all these drawings of hairy footballs!
Malloy - 我是小蠢蛋咩?
Malloy! -Ain't I a stinker?
记分系统就是个狗屁
The point system is bullshit.
这里太无聊了我们想回家
This is no fun. We want to go home.
好吧好吧
All right. All right!
你们想玩是吧?
You kids want fun?
那咱就特么来玩大的
Let's have some goddamn fun!
明天我们就恢复夏令营的传统赛事...
Tomorrow we are going to unretire an old camp tradition--
这个障碍赛有点血腥暴♥力♥ 我们称之为...
a little blood-and-guts obstacle course that we like to call--
铁血闯天关
the Gauntlet.
Woody 不行 - 闭嘴 Steve
Woody, no! - Shut up, Steve.
这是人类历史上最危险的障碍赛
It's the most treacherous obstacle course known to man.
既然大家也发现记分制就是一坨翔
And since my points system has been revealed as complete bullshit
部落神盾会直接奖给铁血闯天关的获胜队
the winner of the Gauntlet will be awarded the tribal shield!
老娘要神盾你们听见没?
I want that shield, do you hear me?
我们都等不及参赛啦
We can't wait to compete in the Gauntlet.
绝对不行你们四个不许参赛
No way. You four won't be competing.
太危险了
It's too dangerous.
我们也有获胜的机会
We deserve a chance to win.
管你愿不愿意我们一定要参赛
We're gonna do it whether you like it or not.
没有指导员看你们怎么参加
Well, you can't compete if you don't have a counselor.
想不到吧老子不干了
And guess what. I quit.
你真是绝世烂导员
You are the worst counselor ever.
看着哥给你拉
Watch me poop!
♪ 哦妹子 ♪
♪ Ooh, girl ♪
♪ 耶耶哦宝贝 ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, oh, baby ♪
这首歌♥我取名叫《塔楼将倾》
I call that one When the Towers Fell.
请大热天还戴罩帽的那坨翔
Would the shit stain wearing the hoodie in 90-degree weather
马上到林警站报到
report to the ranger station immediately!
嘿老头搞毛啊?
Hey, man, what gives?
你刚把我的调调给毁了
You were just blowing up my spot back there.
我不知道你特么在说什么
I don't understand what the [bleep] you just said
但是给我听好了
but listen and listen good.
Tiffany是我的妞
Tiffany is my piece.
那为什么她要跟我去参加野营舞会呢?
Then why is she going to the camp dance with me?
找跟你同龄的女人去
Find a girl your own age.
你这里肯定有墓地的对吧
Got to be a graveyard somewhere nearby.
你要杀了他吗?
Are you gonna kill him?
当然不我才不会给那小崽子的父母退款
No, I'm not giving that little bastard's parents a refund.
Chad唯一的优势就是年轻
Well, the one thing Chad does have is youth.
想在今晚的舞会上给Tiffany留个好印象
If you want to impress Tiffany at tonight's dance,
你就要学会装嫩
you need to learn how to act younger.
怎么办到呢?
Well, how the hell do I do that?
相信我我知道现在的孩子都喜欢什么
Trust me, I know what the kids are into these days.
Malloy 你确定这么做合适?
Malloy, are you sure about this?
放松点我会告诉你该说什么的
Just relax. I'll tell you what to say.
Woody?
Woody?
Tiffany...
Tiffany, uh...
你太温吞像个菜鸟在说谁都别碰我就酱爱咋咋地
You looking cray cray like a noob says no one ever come at me, bro, that's what's up.
好吧
Okay?
我不知道这年轻人来的地方还发老年优♥惠♥券啊
I didn't know Hot Topic gave a senior discount.
Malloy 我要用拳头给这披萨饺王八羔子爆菊
Malloy, I am about to put my fist up this P'Zone punk's asshole!
Woody 现在的孩子都用脚不用拳头了
Woody, these days kids use their feet, not their fists.
挑战他跟你飙舞
Challenge him to a dance-off!
告诉他
Tell him this...
你惹错铁哥们了
You messed with the wrong BFF
没人敢跟我扎刺看我舞翻你
says no one ever this wanksta's swaggy hundo-p.
我的背啊
Oh, my back!
哦嗨 Chad
Oh, hiya, Chad.
你这孩子这时候跑出来干嘛?
What's a child like you doing out of your cabin at this hour?
Tiffany人呢?
Where's Tiffany?
我给她写了首生日歌♥
I wrote her a song for her birthday.
别想见她了
Not happening
但是我想有人愿意听你这首歌♥
but I know someone else who'd love to hear it.
老妈? 老爸? 你们来干嘛?
Ma? Dad? What are you doing here?
你有大♥麻♥烦了年轻人
You're in big trouble, young man.
Johnson先生说了你的所作所为
Mr. Johnson told us what you did.
我做什么了?
What did I do?
我的儿子绝不能给浣熊打飞机
No son of mine is gonna jack off a raccoon
除非我屁♥股♥里插着梳子在一边看
unless I get to watch with a hairbrush up my ass.
对吧宝贝?
Right, honey?
干嘛不打开礼物看看呢?
Well, ain't you gonna open your present?
为什么要送我手杖呢?
Why did you get me a cane?
因为今晚过去之后你就要靠它走路啦
Because after tonight, you are going to be walking funny.
倒计时
快到时候了
It's almost time.
三二一
Three, two, one.
生日快乐
Happy birthday!
你们这是搞毛?
What the hell is this?
为铁血闯天关做准备咯
We're getting ready for the Gauntlet.
怎么可能? 你们没有指导员啊
How? You don't have a counselor.
我们有
Yeah, we do.
Woody让这个人来带我们
Woody assigned us this guy.
第一课
F-first lesson.
喝醉的时候火是烧不着你的
F-f-fire can't hurt you when you're-- when you're drunk.
你们疯了吗?
Are you nuts?
不能跟那个醉鬼流浪汉去参加铁血闯天关
You can't run the Gauntlet with that drunken hobo.
是我们也许会死
Sure, we might die.
但也比跟你一样撂挑子来得好
But that's better than giving up like you did.
他不行那谁来呢?
And who else would run with us?
我来
I will.
我不知道胜利对你们来说这么重要
I didn't realize winning this thing meant so much to you.