脆莓公园（2012）

脆莓公园十周年纪念洗版

这个公路煎蛋你要几分熟?
How you like your road eggs?
跟开车时我给司机口♥交♥那样: 一股脑都进嘴里
Same way I like my road head: runny and in my mouth.
我就搅合搅合给你煎一下吧
Uh, how about I just scramble these?
搞毛
What?!
谁特么把恒温器调到3度多的?
Who the hell set the thermostat to 38 degrees?
是Woody - Woody 你这也太浪费能源了
Woody did. - Woody, that is such a waste of energy!
你就一点不关心咱们的地球吗?
Don't you care about our planet at all?
得了吧 Ethel 地球好着呢
Oh, shut up, Ethel. Our planet is fine.
在我之前都存在2015年了
It was here 2,015 years before me
在我之后还将存在2015年的
and it'll be here 2,015 years after me.
你是一点也不知道地球的历史啊
Don't you know anything about the history of the Earth?
知道的多着呢 现在我就免费给你上堂历史课
I know plenty. Here's a free history lesson.
好好听着
Listen and learn.
两千零十五年前
♪ 上帝 乘着火球来到地球 ♪
♪ Jesus! Came to Earth in a ball of fire ♪
♪ 上帝 他杀光了所有恐龙♪
♪ Jesus! He killed all the dinosaurs ♪
♪ 上帝 他给那霸王龙一记上勾拳♪
♪ Jesus! Uppercutting T. Rex ♪
♪ 上帝 他给那个混♥蛋♥一个后旋踢♪
♪ Jesus! Karate kick that mother[bleep] ♪
♪ 上帝 他施放火球和闪电♪
♪ Jesus! Shooting fireballs and lightning bolts ♪
♪ 上帝 他赐予共和党人石油♪
♪ Jesus! Making oil for republicans ♪
♪ 上帝 ♪
♪ Jesus ♪
基本就是这样了 放片头曲吧
And that's pretty much it. Cue the theme song.

脆莓 公园
♢ 白云苍狗 ♢ 偏执绝非过错
♢ 井脑湿 ♢ MaxPayen999
♢ 旗木 联合译制
Connie 我知道是全球变暖造成了这场热浪
Connie, I know that global warming is to blame for this heat wave.
天也太热了 我的骆驼趾都萎了
It's so hot, my camel toe's losing its humps.
二氧化碳监测仪能证明我的说法
I got this CO2 meter to prove my theory.
以前公园里从没有过这么高的水平
The levels in the park have never been higher.
不知道是什么造成了这个峰值 - 也许是那个
I wonder what's causing the spike. - Probably that.
Woody 这些氟里昂搞得我头晕
Woody, this freon's kind of making me light-headed.
上边写着会杀死脑细胞
Says it kills brain cells.
氟利昂 有毒
不 你不会有事的 Steve
No, you're in the clear, Steve.
Woody 你们在搞什么? "低效空调设备"?
Woody, what's this? "Low-efficiency AC unit"?
天气太热了 傻瓜
It's hot, dummy.
我的蛋蛋都粘到大腿上了
My ball sack's sticking to the inside of my thighs.
我一伸开腿 这里就跟蝙蝠侠标志似的
When I spread my legs, it looks like the Batman symbol.
好吧
Okay.
Woody 你对环境不负责正是天气这么热的原因之一
Woody, your environmental irresponsibility is part of the reason it's so hot.
这就是全球变暖
It's global warming.
全球变暖? 你真信那个一派胡言的蠢话?
Global warming? You believe in that fairy-tale bullshit?
想必你也信世上有圣诞老人 女人也会高♥潮♥的传说吧?
You also believe in Santa Claus and the myth of the female orgasm?
是真的 我们有证据
It's real. We have proof.
是啊 我这里有全套的印尼潮♥吹♥视频 证明了...
Yeah, I've got all these Indonesian squirting videos that show...
不是那个 Connie
Not that, Connie.
是全球变暖 极地冰盖都在融化
Global warming. Even the polar ice caps are melting.
天啊 五百万英里外的冰在融化
Oh, no! Ice is melting 5 million miles away!
快用我这汗津津的蛋蛋召唤出蝙蝠侠吧
Let me flash my sweaty sack to the sky and call Batman!
看这个 如果二氧化碳水平到达红区
Look at this. If the CO2 levels go into the red
就会引起一场环境灾难 比我们以前见过的都要严重
it could set off an environmental disaster worse than we've ever seen.
那你是没体验过Connie从塔克店出来时 站在她下风处
I guess you've never been downwind of Connie after a Del Taco run.
环境灾难个屁啊
Environmental disaster my ass.
牛放屁搞出来的温室气体都比我们造的多
Cows fart out more greenhouse gases than we produce.
这很自然
It's natural.
二氧化碳就像这桶氟里昂一样安全
Carbon dioxide is as safe as that barrel of freon.
Woody 就这一次 别再做无知又固执的混球了
Woody, for once, try not to be such an ignorant, stubborn dickbag.
我们都必须得减少碳足迹
We've all got to shrink our carbon footprints.
我有个更好的主意 我要增加我的碳足迹
I got a better idea. I'm going to expand my carbon footprint.
换言之 这个无知又固执的混球...
In fact, this ignorant, stubborn dickbag
要制♥造♥出历史上最特么大的碳足迹
is gonna have the biggest goddamn carbon footprint in history
就为证明你是错的
just to prove you wrong.
我得进屋歇一会 感觉不舒...
I better get inside. I don't feel so goo...
胸脯肉我要了
Dibs on the back tits.
♪ 快乐飞飞鸟 ♪
♪ Happy dappy bird ♪
♪ 我爱飞飞鸟 ♪
♪ I love dappy bird ♪
♪ 人生已完蛋 我的内心几乎崩溃 ♪
♪ I have no life, and I'm dead on the inside ♪
♪ 快乐飞飞鸟 ♪
♪ happy dappy bird ♪
干嘛把人家的手♥机♥扔了?
Why'd you throw away my phone?
因为现在得靠我们来中和Woody对地球进行的破坏了
Because it's up to us to counterbalance the damage that Woody is doing to this planet.
咱俩必须过得绿色一点 将碳足迹降为零
We've got to go green and cut our carbon footprints to zero.
那我至少能留着震动棒吧? 很绿色
Can I at least keep my vibrator? It's green.
我很肯定当初你买♥♥来时是白的
I'm pretty sure it was white when you bought it.
感觉咱俩已经开始取得喜人进展了
I feel like we've made some good progress here.
都能感受到地球母亲在治愈
I can feel Mother Earth healing.
Ethel 你看我这场"全球变暖扯逑淡"游♥行♥怎么样?
Hey, Ethel, how do you like my "global warming's bullshit" parade?
好耶 游♥行♥ - 闭嘴 Connie
Yay! A parade! - Shut up, Connie.
这根本就是在骂我"去你♥妈♥的♥"
This whole thing is a "[bleep] you" to me.
你怎么会这么想? - 上面写着呢
What makes you feel that way? - That sign does.
每台游♥行♥车都在扩大我的碳足迹
Every float expands my carbon footprint
包括这些Woody Johnson放屁音乐牛
including the Woody Johnson musical farting cows.
这些逗比玩意儿真是乐死人了
Now, how can that not put a smile on your face?
我讨厌牛 - 啊? 你怎么会讨厌牛呢?
I hate cows. - What? How could you hate cows?
它们身上有些地方不对劲
There's something off about them.
总是瞪着死牛眼看着我们
They're always watching us with those dead eyes.
好像在策划什么事情
It's like they're planning something.
怂熊害怕牛 - 我才不怕牛
You scared of cows! - I'm not scared of cows.
那咱就去打个招呼咯 - 别 别 别
Well, let's go say hello. - No, no, no!
大家伙 Malloy害怕牛
Hey, everybody, Malloy's scared of cows!
好吧 也许有点 但这是出于我的动物本能
Okay, maybe a little. But it's because of my animal instinct.
我有高度敏感的直觉 相信我 我也不想这样的
I have heightened senses. Trust me, I don't want this gift.
Connie 你今天要来大姨妈了
Connie, it's going to be a heavy flow day.
多谢了 Malloy
Thanks, Malloy.
我反正觉得牛不错 尤其是这群会屁奏莫扎特的
Well, I think cows are cool, especially ones that can fart Mozart.
Ethel 你真该看看自己蠢脸上的表忄...
Oh, Ethel, you should see the look on your stupid fa...
冷冷...
C-Cold!
从现在开始 不准洗热水澡 Connie 那道光是什么?
From now on, no more hot water, Connie! What is that light?
烟雾报♥警♥器
A smoke detector.
天呐 你今天吃药没?
Whoa. Are you off your meds?
我是说 做得好 去屎吧 烟雾报♥警♥器
I mean, yeah, [bleep] you, smoke detector.
我们得找个百分百绿色的地方去住
We've gotta go somewhere that's 100% green.
给我们个接纳外来人入住的理由吧
Why should we accept you two outsiders into our community?
因为在这儿过远离科技的生活
Because living here free of technology
是我们唯一能做的阻止全球变暖的事
is the only way we can stop contributing to global warming.
很抱歉 但我们社区不缺叨叨没完的恼人婆
I'm sorry, but our community doesn't need any more nagging harpies.
请回吧
ow please leave.
好吧 这是你的房♥钥匙
Okay. Here's the key to your house
那头牛可以睡在谷仓里
and your ox can stay in the barn.
什么? 三千刀? 收我这么多电费搞毛啊?
What? 3 grand? Why the hell is my power bill so high?
去屎吧 艾尔•戈尔
(美国前副总统 环保人士 毕生推行环保主义)
顺便帮哥舔菊
美极了 Woody
It's beautiful, Woody.
是啊 但为打破碳足迹历史记录 我已经濒临破产了
Yeah, but trying to make carbon footprint history is making me go broke.
Steve 去给我爬到变压器上偷点电下来
Steve, climb to the top of that transformer and steal me some electricity.
就从这根线开始剪吧
I guess I gotta cut through this wire.
Steve 你白♥痴♥啊 是不是想被电死啊
Steve, you idiot, you're gonna get electrocuted!
注意安全 换把沾水 非接地的金属园艺剪
Be safe. Use the wet, non-grounded metal hedge clippers.
好主意
Good thinking!
我靠 你没事吧
Oh, no! Are you okay...
园艺剪? 该死 Steve 被你给电熔了
Hedge clippers? God damn it, Steve, you melted them!
这可是我最喜欢的园艺剪 你个脑子被狗吃的...
These were my favorite hedge clippers, you dumb son of a... ow!
Woody 快闪开
Woody, move!
马上变压器会倒下来把你砸死的
The transformer's going to fall and crush you.
我预见到了
I saw it happen.
你在废话些什么鬼啊 Steve?
What the hell are you talking about, Steve?
快躲
Move!
我去啊 Steve 你可以预见未来
Holy crap, Steve. You can see the future.
爱死放屁牛了
Love them farting cows.
送我们出画吧 妞们
Now, play us out, ladies!
然后 Steve预见了未来 他真太牛X了
And then, Steve saw into the future. He is awesome.
得了吧 预见未来只是天方夜谭
Aw, seeing into the future is impossible.