纽约屁民（2016）

Animals. S01E02

Part 2 Nov. 17, 2020, 11:19 a.m.

Okay. How about I race you
我们比赛飞到
to the green lady with the ice cream thingie?
手握冰淇淋的绿色女士那里怎么样
Duh. Yes. I can do that.
好的我可以做到
Heck yes, I can do that.
我当然可以做到
Heck yes. Heck yes.
当然可以当然可以
Tomorrow, let's do it.
那就明天比赛吧
Yeah. Let's do it tomorrow.
好的就明天
All right, man. Branch, let's go. Branch!
好的布兰奇我们走布兰奇
Yes, sir.
知道了长官
You're a fucking embarrassment.
你真♥他♥妈♥丢脸
Let's get out of here.
我们离开这里
What's up, baby?
怎么了宝贝
Hey... hey, baby.
嗨宝贝
You goin' real slow today, aren't you?
你今天走得真慢对吗
I like...
我喜欢...
I like you.
我喜欢你
Yeah, that's good, you know,
做得很好
dude, don't just say "I like you." It's a little matter of fact.
别光说"我喜欢你" 太平实了
Give her a little compliment, you know?
赞美她懂吗
Okay. Check this out.
好吧看我的
I wanna see that ooze in my bed.
来我的床上蠕动吧
You heard me, girl.
你听到了吧女孩
You see what I'm saying?
听到我说的话了吗
She likes that. It makes me nervous.
她喜欢这样这让我很紧张
It makes me nervous. Don't be nervous.
这让我很紧张别紧张
That's it, man. It's confidence. Yeah. You're right.
就是这样自信一点你说得对
It's confidence. Okay, I'll try again.
自信一点好吧我再试一次
Yeah, try again. Here, look at this. Okay.
再试一次看着好的
Confidence. Right here. This girl right here.
自信这里这个女孩
Hey, shorty!
嗨小矮个
Come fuck with me.
和我上♥床♥吧
I put the cock in cocoon.
我把老二放在茧里
I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'm so sorry.
抱歉女士抱歉
I'm sorry. No, no, that was good. That was good.
抱歉不不做得很好做得很好
It wasn't good, she looked upset.
不好她看起来很失望
Well, she... yeah, you upset her.
她... 是的你让她很失望
Well, I was trying to be confident.
我只是想自信一点
No, I know. I know. I know. I know.
不我知道我知道
Look, you have certain disadvantages.
听着你确实有缺点
You are not as big as me. I'm not.
你没有我块头大是的
You're not as confident as me. Correct.
你没有我自信是的
You don't have as much slime.
你分泌的黏液没有我多
I'm under-lubricated.
我不够润滑
You are super fucking dry, dog.
你太干了
Yeah. Listen.
是的听着
I was thinking tomorrow I might bring my boom box.
明天也许可以带上便携音箱
Possibly, I could show you
也许可以让你见识
my world-famous worm.
我举世闻名的虫舞
Don't... don't fuck with me, man. No.
别骗我不是骗你
No fucking, brother.
不骗人兄弟
Alan, don't say it if you don't mean it...
艾伦如果是开玩笑就别说了
I'm sorry, is this like, the "Jamie Kennedy Experiment"?
这是《吉米·肯尼迪的恶搞实验》吗
Am I X'ing you? No, no, no. This is for real.
我是在骗你吗不不不是真的
This is real life right now.
这是真实生活
This better not be a Jamie Kennedy type situation, man
最好不是杰米·肯尼迪真人秀中的那种情况
because this is the stuff of legend and lore!
因为这是神话是传说
People talk about your worm all the time.
人们总是在谈论你的蠕动
You are going to see me do the worm right here,
你马上要在这里看我蠕动了
and then you and I are gonna get our microscopic penises.
然后让我们微小的生殖器
Yes, totally! A little bit wet.
好的同意湿润起来
Okay, and some people
有些人会在
choose to put mascara on their bottom lashes,
下眼睫毛上涂睫毛膏
but I always find... mine are long enough.
但是我觉得... 我的已经够长了
Right.
没错
Especially if you're doing anything...
尤其是当你...
So, what is foundation?
所以粉底是什么
That's like, on the bottom of it?
是打底用的吗
Yeah, I mean, it is exactly what it sounds like.
是的恰如其名
Your foundation. Foundation. That makes sense!
最基础的化妆品粉底有道理
Yeah, exactly. I love it.
正是我爱这个名字
And you need to match it to your...
你需要找到符合自己...
Mikey, what are you doing man? Mike? Yeah.
麦克你在做什么呢麦克
We're trying to talk over here.
我们在聊天呢
You're messing with girl talk.
你打搅了闺蜜聊天
And that's why, also... I'm sorry. It's just hard
所以... 抱歉聊不下去了
cause he's trembling so much.
因为他浑身发抖
You guys see this?
你们看见了吗
Yeah, no, we're seeing it.
看见了不对我们正看着呢
You look like a massage chair.
你看起来像按♥摩♥椅
Are you okay?
你还好吗
That was...
那真是...
I'm good. Are you okay?
我没事你还好吗
That doesn't sound good. Drink some water. I'm fine.
听起来可不太好喝点水吧我没事
I'm doing some calisthenics.
我在做徒手体操
I'm getting back into the groove of things.
我马上要回到最佳状态了
Why... Don't worry about it.
为什么... 不用担心
Were you ever in the groove?
你到达过最佳状态吗
That was a funny joke.
那太好笑了
Look, Mike, I'm very concerned.
听着麦克我很担心
I don't want you to do this.
我不希望你继续这样
It's just, I don't understand
我不明白为什么你会
why you let somebody like Jerry
让杰瑞这种人
ruffle your feathers, quite literally.
影响到你的情绪呢我是认真的
Okay, well, Jerry, he doesn't know what's coming to him.
杰瑞他不知道自己面临着什么
Because I'm going to beat him to the big
因为我要比他先飞到
green lady with the ice cream thing.
手握冰激凌的绿色女士那里
Mike, the big green lady with the ice cream thing.
麦克手握冰激凌的绿色女士
But, honey...
但是亲爱的...
is half a mile. It's so far.
在半英里外呢太远了
One way. Yeah.
只有一条路对啊
Guys, I have the vision for this.
朋友们我觉得自己能赢
And if you believe in yourself, and have the vision for it,
如果你们相信自己有所憧憬
that's half the battle right there, guys.
就已经赢了一半
Am I right, Jacob?
雅各布我说得对吗
That's exactly right.
完全正确
He's actually got a point.
他说到点上了
Thank you!
谢谢
Like, for my whole... He does?
我的整个... 是吗
Yeah. For my whole life I envisioned being a mommy,
是的我一直都在幻想做母亲
and throughout that, Okay...
那段时间里好的...
everyone said, "You can't be a mommy,
每个人都对我说 "你做不了母亲的
you're a little boy."
你是个小男孩"
And then after that it was,
在那之后是
"You can't be a mommy, you're a teenager."
"你做不了母亲你可是个男青年"
And after that, people were like,
在那之后人们又说
"You can't be a mommy, you're a grown man."
"你做不了母亲的你可是个成年男人"
"Please leave the premises of the school zone."
"拜托请走出上学时的幻想吧"
Now I'm a mommy.
现在我是位母亲了
And Mike, I think you can do it, man.
麦克我觉得你能做到
I'm gonna help you do this shit.
我会帮你完成这件事
I... appreciate it. No, no, no, no.
我... 很感激不不不不
I didn't... I don't need your help.
我没有... 我不需要你的帮助
No, no. Hey. Mike, listen.
不不麦克听着
Don't worry about Jerry.
不用担心杰瑞
I'll take care of him.
我会处理好的
Let me guess, you're gonna seduce Jerry?
我猜猜你要勾引杰瑞吗
How dare you.
你怎么敢这么说
Come here, you little maggot.
过来你个小屁孩
Come here. Come here.
过来过来
Branch, I'm hard on you
布兰奇我对你严厉