纽约屁民（2016）

Animals. S01E05

Part 1 Nov. 17, 2020, 11:22 a.m.

Think that's healthy?
你觉得那个健康吗
It is healthy. It's not healthy.
健康不健康
Brown rice, carrots, soy sauce, and broccoli.
糙米胡萝卜酱油菜花
What's in the sauce? Liquid sugar.
酱里是什么糖浆
Okay... Your diet...
好吧... 你的饮食...
Yeah. Sugar's a killer. Okay.
我知道糖对身体不好好吧
It's a silent killer...
糖杀你于无形...
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
我不知道该做什么
Look, it's fine man, it's not... that big of a problem.
听着没关系问题不大
It's not fine, dude.
有关系
It's a huge problem!
这是很大的问题
Okay, walk me through what happens. Okay.
好吧说说事情经过好
I have a huge crush on Sharon.
我疯狂爱上了莎朗
Yes, we all know this. You know Sharon?
我们都知道你认识莎朗吧
But every time I talk to her,
但是我每次和她说话
I get super nervous around her,
都会特别紧张
and, lo and behold,
然后你看
out of my control, by some act of a sick, twisted God,
不受控制在恶魔的驱使下
I get a nervous boner.
因为紧张我勃起了
You get a nervous boner?
因为紧张你勃起了吗
Just comes out of nowhere, and it's embarrassing.
莫名其妙太尴尬了
And this only happens with Sharon? Yes!
只有和莎朗一起的时候会这样吗是的
It's because I like her so much.
因为我太喜欢她了
She's the only girl who's nice to me,
她是唯一对我好的女孩
and I can't talk to her.
我却不能和她聊天
I have to run away in the
每次聊到一半
middle of all of our conversations, man.
我都得逃跑
Have you thought about just covering
你要不要考虑
up your bottom half or something
和她一起的时候
when you're around her?
拿东西遮住下♥体♥
What do you mean, covering up?
你什么意思用什么遮
Like, with books? No.
比如用书吗不是
Here...
我看看...
Let me just look around here...
我找找...
Okay.
好
Let me just grab some of this stuff and...
拿些这个还有...
What are you doing?
你在做什么
Easy. Whoa. Hey. Hold on. Here, turn around.
别别等一下转过来
Get off me.
别碰我
And this should hold.
应该没问题
Look. What about that?
看那样可以吗
This looks dumb.
这看起来好蠢
I think there's something there.
我觉得你又勃起了
That's not my baby.
那不是我的孩子
It's not even her baby, right?
这甚至不是她的孩子对吧
It's my step-dad's baby.
是我继父的孩子
Oh, that doesn't count. It doesn't count at all.
那个不算这个根本不算
And that thing is, like, so disgusting.
而且那太恶心了
I hate babies too. I just... I can't.
我也讨厌小孩我... 我就是受不了
Like, whenever I see 'em, it's like, so gross.
我看到他们就觉得恶心
Hey, Sharon, how's it going, man?
莎朗你好近来如何
Hey, 菲尔, yeah.
你好菲尔
Yeah. It's nice to see you. What's up, Phil?
很高兴见到你你好吗菲尔
Good to hang out and chat and stuff.
很好可以玩玩聊聊
So, it's nice to...
所以真好...
What... oh my God, what are those?
这是... 天啊那些是什么
What are those? Are you wearing garbage?
那些是什么你穿着垃圾吗
It's dumb. I don't...
这很蠢我不...
Those are... kind of amazing.
那些... 挺好看的
Oh my God, they are kind of amazing. Thanks.
天啊确实挺好看谢谢
It's just
我随手
something I whipped up.
完成的
You know, just kind of...
就是些...
Wait, you made those?
等等那些是你做的吗
Yeah. Of course I did.
是的当然是我做的
So cool. That's rad.
真酷太棒了
You like them, too.
你也喜欢啊
Those are rad, yeah. Really cool.
太棒了真酷
Thanks guys, this feels really good to
谢谢有人看我
have people looking at me.
感觉真好
It's like a collage on your body.
你身上就像贴着一幅剪贴画
I didn't even know this about you, Phil.
菲尔我都不知道你会做衣服
You're like, a real artist.
你真是艺术家
You know, a lot of people don't look at it as an art.
很多人认为这不是艺术
It's bullshit, because... Can I get a pair?
胡说因为... 我能要一条吗
Could you make me a pair? A pair...
你可以给我做一条吗一条...
Oh, 'cause it's two things.
懂了因为有两条裤管
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course,
好啊当然
I could give you a pair.
我可以帮你做一条
Really?! Yeah, of course I can.
真的吗当然可以
'Cause I made them.
因为这是我做的
Sure. Cool. I would love one, too.
好好我也想要一条
So, you want a pair, too? I would love one.
你也想要一条是吗我也想要
It's sort of a Sharon thing, but maybe...
我只想给莎朗做但是...
I'll take a pair! Okay, so...
我也要一条好的所以...
I'll take a pair! You want one...
我也要一条你也要...
Can I have a pair of Okay,
我可以要好的
the pants?! so lot of people.
一条裤子吗很多人要
I'll take one for my cousin.
我表亲也要一条
Six, seven... I just need a pen.
六条七条... 我需要一支笔
I guess I should just give you my number,
我把电♥话♥号♥码给你
so you can let me know when the pants
裤子做好了你就打给我
are ready so we can pick them up?
我来取好吗
Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, of course.
好很好当然可以
Give me your number. Yeah, so...
留下你的电♥话♥号♥码好的...
There you go.
给你
Oh, my God!
天啊
Oh, these, too.
对还有这些
What is that?
那是什么
I don't know. It's just a thing I figured I could do.
我不知道只是觉得可以这样做
That's so cool.
太酷了
Pretty rad. Pretty cool. I won't lose it, ever.
真好啊真酷我永远不会弄丢它
He just like, stores it in there. Guess what?
他就把它存在那里猜猜看
Two more back here, you guys.
后面还有两个
I cannot wait to get my own pair.
我等不及拥有一条了
Okay, great. Sick.
好的真好
So sick.
太好了
Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude,
兄弟兄弟
you are a fucking genius, Mike.
你真是个天才麦克
Oh my God, it worked?
天啊成功了吗
These worked so good! Yes! Oh, sick.
太成功了真好
It was incredible, man.
真的太好了
I mean, I guess I have always been
我一直都觉得
good at making stuff.
自己擅长做手工
You know? You are good at making stuff.
你知道吗你确实很擅长做东西
And I need you to make
明天你再帮我做
15 new pairs of pants tomorrow, okay?
十五条裤子好吗
Okay, I'm sorry. What are pants?
抱歉什么是裤子
These. Those. Pants. Hey. These are pants, Mike.
这个那个这是裤子麦克
Come on, buddy, I need you to keep up here.
拜托兄弟我需要你帮忙
15 pairs of pants?
十五条裤子吗
Listen, me and Sharon really hit it off,
听着我和莎朗很合得来
and I've been a fucking loser my whole life,
我一直都是失败者
and these pants are my ticket into
这些裤子能让我
the cool zone... Okay, all right.
步入成功... 好的
All right, okay, okay!
我帮你好的好的
I'll make your pants, all right?
我帮你做裤子好吗
But just this one time, all right?
但是仅此一次好吗
Thank you so much.
太感谢了
15 pairs of pants by tomorrow. All right.
十五条明天给我好的