纽约屁民（2016）

Animals. S01E01

Part 2 Nov. 17, 2020, 11:19 a.m.

What? Yeah.
你说什么真的
Northbound or southbound? Southbound.
往北还是往南的往南的
Oh, shit!
妈的真棒
Oh, yeah, no, totally,
当然是真的
I remember when I was making babies, um...
我记得造孩子的时候
The other day I was upstate, right?
那天我在上城区
And, Where?
然后哪里
Syracuse.
锡拉库扎
Like, in the Syracuse region.
那个锡拉库扎区
How'd you get up there?
你怎么去的
That's like, real far.
哪里很远啊
Like, a train, or whatever.
搭火车之类的
That's not really the important part...
那不重要
You got on a train? Yeah.
你上火车了吗是啊
That's not, like, the Amtrak line.
又不是全国铁路客运公♥司♥
How did you... Yeah, no, it's fine.
你是怎么... 没事的
Did you get on a Metro North train?
你是搭上大都会北方火车了吗
It doesn't matter how I got there,
我怎么去的不重要
but I got there and I met a chick,
我去了那里遇到了个小妞
and then I made like...
然后我们造了大约有
th... f... six.
三... 四... 六
I had six babies at once.
我一次造了六个孩子
Me and her.
我和她
And we... they just came out.
然后我们他们就出来了
It was like, you thought they were done, but it was just...
就是你以为生完了结果
more and more, like...
又出来了更多
Okay, so real quick, so you got on a train,
好快速过一遍你搭上了火车
and you went upstate, the train thing again.
去了北边又搭火车
Oh my God,
天啊
Let's just drop it. O Syracuse.
算了别说了在锡拉库扎
Well, see, that's where it starts to fall apart.
你看从这里开始就不靠谱了
The part where they all arrive at once.
宝宝怎么可能同时生出来
What are we... what are we talking about falling apart?
怎么能说我不靠谱呢
We're just...
我们就是
I didn't poke holes in your guys' stories.
我从不会给你们挑刺
Phillip, have you not made babies before?
菲利普你以前没造过孩子吗
What? Oh, Phil has
你说什么菲尔
100% not made babies.
百分之百没造过孩子
All right, okay, so what? Big whoop.
好吧那又怎么样要欢呼吗
I have never made babies before. Oh, shit.
我以前从没造过孩子天啊
All right, you guys figure this out.
好吧你们把这件事搞清楚
I'm gonna go jerk my dong off,
我要去给小♥弟♥弟♥热身了
so that I can last longer when I'm ready to make babies
这样我能更持久准备好
with every woman at this party.
和派对上所有小妞造孩子
Don't worry, I'll leave one for you, Phil.
别担心我会留个妞给你菲尔
That's great.
太棒了
That guy's a fucking asshole.
那人就是个混♥蛋♥
Oh, he's not bad.
他还不错
No, this is terrible.
不这太糟糕了
Dude, don't worry, you're my best friend,
兄弟别担心你是我最好的朋友
and I'm gonna make you a father tonight.
我会让你今晚当上爸爸
All right. That.. that sounds good. Thank you.
好吧... 听起来很棒谢谢你
You, uh... you hear about Greg?
你... 听说克雷格的事了吗
What?
他怎么了
Greg made it up to the horse racing majors.
克雷格成功晋级马术比赛专业组了
Shut up. No shit.
闭嘴吧不可能
Thoroughbred racing, that guy?
良种马比赛就他吗
I'm not a guy to say he didn't deserve it,
我可没过说他不配
but he doesn't deserve it.
但他确实不配
No. We're faster runners than him.
他不配我们跑得比他快多了
If you and I were there,
如果我们在场
we'd be blowing him in the dust.
肯定会把它远远甩开
I had a shot.
我有过一次机会
There was some guys sniffing around a few years ago.
几年前有人观察过我
I saw that. I remember that.
我看见了我记得
I remember, and you were good.
我记得你很厉害
Thank you. I just wanted...
谢谢我只是想...
I guess I like the 95.
我可能还不完美
You know, I like the regular...
我就是普通的...
I am with you.
我也是
Do the job, retire.
工作退休
And our day is never the same.
我们的生活每天都不同
Like, one day you'll be sitting outside a domestic dispute,
今天你旁观家庭纠纷
the other day you're down
明天你就到
on Wall Street stepping on some hippies.
华尔街去抓嬉皮士了
Hey, and another day, guess what?
接着后天你猜怎么着
We get the benefit of the whole thing,
我们做这些就能得到好处
we still get to do parades.
而且还能参加游♥行♥
I love parade duty. I love parades.
我最喜欢游♥行♥了我也是
I'll take that over running around a mile and a quarter track.
我愿意花时间跑两公里
And now there are so many more parades.
而且现在常有游♥行♥
The gay pride parade,
同志光荣日大游♥行♥
the St. Patty's day. St. Patty's,
圣帕特里克游♥行♥ 没错
Love that one. Fourth of July parade,
最爱这个了国♥庆♥日游♥行♥
Puerto Rican pride.
波多黎各人游♥行♥
Hey, look, if the Yankees,
还有如果洋基队
Rangers, or the Knicks win...
游骑兵队尼克斯队赢了比赛
You know what we'll never do? A Mets parade.
还有个游♥行♥ 我们没参加过大都会游♥行♥
No, they will never... They're terrible this year.
他们永远不会... 他们今年太烂了
No, no, no, my, uh,
不不不我的
my father's father was in the '86 Mets parade.
我的外公参加了 1986年大都会游♥行♥
Was he? They tried to get him to do blow.
他去了吗他们想让他打出致命一击
Who, Gooden? Gooden.
谁古登吗对古登
Really? Yeah, he tried to
真的吗是的他还试着
give my father's friend blow.
给我父亲的朋友配种
Not even horse tranquilizer. No.
连镇定剂都不用是的
They were just... anything that could sniff,
他们就随便用一些可以吸入的东西
Yeah. They were shoving coke up it.
对混入可♥卡♥因♥
But Greg's gonna miss out on all that.
但克雷格恐怕要错过这些了
I'll blow my brains out
我会给自己一枪
if Greg gets super famous.
如果克雷格能出名
I'm not kidding.
我没开玩笑
I will blow my brains out.
我真的会一枪毙了自己
I'll hold the gun and I'll turn it on myself.
我会举着枪然后转向自己
Please. I will do that.
别扯了我会那样做的
Let's make a suicide pact right now. Really. Oh, my God.
现在定个自杀协议吧真的吗天啊
All right, man, look.
好吧朋友听着
Making babies really isn't that hard.
造孩子没有那么难
Okay. All you have to do is just be yourself.
好的你只需要做自己
That's it? Yeah.
这就行了吗对
That's not really instructions or anything.
这不能算是指导啊
You told me you...
你跟我说过...
You want me to give you a step-by-step...
你想让我一步步教你吗
I... no. Nah, that's not...
我... 不那不是...
Here. Watch this, okay?
仔细看好吗
I will show you by doing.
我会亲自示范给你看
Okay, he's walking over,
好吧他走过去了
talking to her. Yeah, okay, cool.
和她搭讪好的很好
"Hey, what's up? My name's Mike.
"嗨你好我叫麦克
Do you wanna make babies with me?
你想和我一起造孩子吗
Maybe we'll go in the bathroom, and then..."
也许我们可以去洗手间然后..."
Okay, and they're actually in the bathroom.
好吧他们真的进了洗手间
Oh, that's great.
真厉害
Hey, man, who are you talking to?
嘿哥们你在和谁说话呢
No one. Hey, Fink, what's happening, man?
没人嘿芬克过得怎么样
You okay, man?
你还好吗哥们
Yeah. You look sweaty and nervous.
我很好你满头大汗看起来很紧张
I'll be honest with you, I'm a little anxious, I guess.
说实话我确实有点紧张
Yeah, cause you've never made babies before?
因为你从没造过孩子吗
No, okay, just stop reiterating that.
不好吧别重复说了