恋爱手册（2014）

A to Z S01E12

Part 3 April 9, 2021, 4:41 p.m.

我是绝不会在你背后做的
that I wouldn't do on your face.
你男朋友绝不应该忘记
Your boyfriend should never forget
你是个抢手货
that you are a hot commodity
而且在公开市场上你想找谁就找谁
and could get anyone that you want on the open market.
而你绝不应该忘记
Well, you should never forget
你的新男友不是个怂货
that your new boyfriend is no slouch.
-是吗 -是因为他没准
- Oh, is that so? - Yes, because he may have once
曾跟加布里埃尔·尤尼恩幽会过
had a tryst with Gabrielle Union.
美国女模特韦德之妻
"没准曾经"
"May have once"?
离床
Clear!
天呐爸爸
Oh, my god, dad!
对不起对不起
Sorry, sorry.
我只是在给斯图展示怎么使用旅行用除颤器
I was just showing Stu how to use my travel defibrillator.
对你想试试这些新玩意吗
Yeah. Uh, you want to take a ride on these babies?
不用了谢谢
No, I'm good, thanks.
你看上去不太好
You don't look good.
不太好
He doesn't.
-怎么了 -对啊
- Uh, what's wrong? - Yeah.
我没事
Guys, I'm fine.
不过老实说爸
And if I'm being honest, though, dad,
我想知道你为什么不喜欢我女朋友
I'd like to know why you don't like my girlfriend.
我昨晚就告诉你了你可以找个更好的
Well, I told you last night -- I think you can do better.
皮特是想说
Well, what Pete means to say
你现在约的姑娘完全就是垃圾
is that that girl you're with is a pile of garbage.
这有点过啊
That's a little strong.
没错我讲完之后也发现这个问题了
Yes. I realized that as soon as I said it.
我还是回房♥捣鼓这个吧
I'm just gonna go and practice with this in my room.
不好意思
I'm sorry.
怎么回事
What gives?
听着我不是叫你跟她分手
Look, I'm not telling you to break up with her,
但是如果你分了我完全挺你
but if you did, I'd be there for you.
老天我们终于可以去
Hell, we could finally take that trip to Europe
我们一直念叨着的欧洲了
that we were always talking about.
什么去欧洲
What trip to Europe?
而且从什么时候开始巴布同意你离开家
And since when would Barb ever let you out of the house
-去欧... -别担心巴布
- to Eur-- - Look, don't you worry about Barb.
我不担心巴布
Oh, I'm not worried about Barb.
巴布又不是我老板
Barb is not the boss of me.
是吗从什么时候开始不是的
Oh, yeah? Since when?
巴布离开我了
Barb left me.
巴布...
Barb...
我很遗憾
Uh, I'm sorry.
她跟一个废物跑了
She ran off with a complete loser.
那个蠢货这一季
The schlub hasn't played 10 minutes
都没在火箭队打满十分钟
for the Rockets this whole season.
伙计们
Hi, guys.
皮特有只小鸟告诉我
Uh, Pete, a little bird told me
你喜欢红丝绒蛋糕
that you are a fan of red velvet.
而且我还要告诉你这个蛋糕上有无人飞机
And I will also tell you that this cake has a drone on it,
因为我知道你爱无人飞机
'cause I know that you love drones.
你在哭吗他哭了吗
Are you crying? Is he crying?
天呐我怎么都斗不过他
Oh, I can't win with this guy.
我要放下它重死了
I'm gonna put this down. This is so heavy.
巴布离开我的那一瞬间
The moment Barb left me,
孤独感如千斤顶般压向我
the loneliness hit like a ton of bricks,
所以我想...像过去一样
so I -- I figured I'd come here
过来跟你住几天
and hang around with you, like in the old days.
然后我就发现你跟泽尔达有多好我...
And then I see how close you and Zelda are, and I...
所以你就告诉我泽尔达不够好
So you tell me Zelda's not good enough
那样我就会跟她分手
so that I'll push her away and
花更多的时间跟你在一起
spend more time with you?
你太可怕了
That's horrible.
不好意思只是想澄清下你是喜欢我的
I'm sorry, just to be clear... you do like me?
当然
Of course.
太棒了
That's amazing.
除了你跟长♥期♥女友分手这件事
The breakup with your long-term girlfriend notwithstanding.
当然了继续
Of course. Carry on.
真不敢相信你居然那么自私
I can't believe how selfish you are.
不仅不对我说实话
Instead of being honest,
你还想要破坏
you -- you try and ruin my relationship
我跟我见过最好的女孩子的感情
with the greatest woman I've ever met.
对真对不起
Right. I'm so sorry.
我现在不能跟你待在一起
I can't be around you right now.
皮特等你好受一些
Pete, when you're feeling better,
我只想让你知道这个无人机是可食用的
I just want you to know that the drone is edible.
我亲手做的
I made it myself.
-泽尔达 -我...你说完了
- Zelda! - I-- t-- y-- done.
你♥爸♥还在这吗
Is your dad still in town?
不知道不关心
Don't know. Don't care.
不敢相信他想要骗我
Can't believe he tried to trick me
觉得你不够好
into thinking you weren't good enough.
我就说嘛对吧这太好笑了
I know, right? Which is ridonk.
看看这... 还有这脑子
I mean, with -- and the mind?
拜托我好翻了
Please. I'm the total package.
早准备好去旱冰曲棍球了吗
Morning. Who's ready for some roller hockey?
曲棍球
Hockey?
爸你知道自己都做了什么吗
Dad, are you even aware of what you did?
别担心我没在跟你说话
Don't worry. I wasn't talking to you.
我来了我不太会滑旱冰了
I'm coming! I'm rusty on these skates!
皮特老爹
Papa Pete!
好了别担心
All right. Don't worry.
我们会完胜那群初二小女生的
We're gonna wipe the floor with those eighth-grade bitches.
对啊如果有其他人想来
Yeah. If anyone else wants to come along,
我们大大欢迎
they'd be welcome.
没兴趣
Not interested.
也许之后我们会去吃冰淇淋
Maybe after, we'd get some ice cream.
他都说不想去了我们走
He said he doesn't want to go, so let's go!
当你在陪审团面前这五点
So, it's really important that when you go before the jury,
-真的很重要 -你好
- you remember those five points -- Hi.
对不起我尝试拦住她的但是她太快了
I'm sorry. I tried to stop her, but she's fast,
而且她威胁要咬我
and she threatened to bite me.
-好了谢谢 -谢谢
- Um, okay. Thank you. - Thank you.
班尼特小姐你有时间吗
Uh, Miss Bennett, do you have a moment?
我有重要的事情要说
This is important.
不可能比我正处理的事重要
Uh, well, it can't be more important than this.
这个人要坐牢了
This man's about to go to prison.
是吗
I am?
是的很遗憾
Yes. I'm sorry.
这事真等不了
This really can't wait.
干什么
What do you want?
我需要进行一次离职面谈
I need to conduct an exit interview
如果我们要正式终止你的会员资格的话
if we're going to officially terminate your membership.
一到十分
So, on a scale of 1 to 10,
你会给在壁花的经历打几分
how would you rate your experience at Wallflower?
可能是我经历过最遭的
Probably the worst I have ever been a part of.
那我就记做6分下一题
I'll mark that down as a 6. Next question.
你会把这个网站推荐给朋友吗
Would you recommend this site to a friend?
还有如果你的男友贬低了你的绝妙想法
And how would you react if your boyfriend
你会作何反应
dissed an amazing idea that you had?
我懂了
I see.
你和那个帅哥同事有所争执
You've had a tiff with that handsome guy at your work,
现在在征询我的意见
and you are looking for some advice.
-可能吧 -好如果我回答你
- Maybe. - Right. Well, if I answer your question,
你会答应取消我的会员资格吗
will you promise to cancel my membership?
实在是太讽刺了
Ugh, an ironic twist, to be sure,
不过没问题包在我身上
but, yes, consider yourself deactivated.
我想想
Well, let's see.
你看上去是个坚强自信的女人
You look like a strong and confident woman,
那么对于你真正相信的事情
so why do you need anyone's approval
你又何必需要别人的认可呢