恋爱手册（2014）
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恋爱手册（2014）
A to Z S01E10
Part 4
April 9, 2021, 4:41 p.m.
斯图是真的喜欢你
Stu really likes you.
-是吗 -是
- Really? - Yeah.
我刚说什么来着
What did I just say?
"他们俩之间不会再有火花了
"Nothing is ever gonna happen between them again,
永远不会"
Like... Never."
现在我好尴尬 昨晚反应过头了
Well...Now I feel sort of embarrassed for how I reacted.
你觉得他会原谅我吗
You think he'd forgive me?
会 当然会了
Yes, of course he would.
咱们现在就给他打电♥话♥
Let's call him right now.
斯图的悲情歌♥曲
我好想她
I miss her so much.
你知道你们俩才交往了
You know you guys dated
一天半的样子吧
for, like, a day and a half, right?
不过时光飞快 好像只有一天的三分之二
But it flew by like it was two-thirds of a day.
至少你俩算是谈了恋爱
At least yours was a relationship.
我的就只是见不得人的幽会
Mine was just a tryst,
而我现在就只是个中等价位的妓♥女♥
and now I'm nothing but a mid-priced hooker.
不不不
No. No, no, no, no, no.
不 看着我 洛杉矶的中等价位
No, look at me. Mid-price in L.A.
在国内其他地区可是相当贵的
is, like, super expensive in the rest of the country.
这理由我也能聊以慰藉
The fact that I'm comforted by that
真是突破了我的新下限 但是谢谢你
is a new all-time low for me, but thank you.
不客气 你在威斯康辛州这种地方
You're welcome. You'd be like a governor's mistress
能当州长情人
in Wisconsin.
是吗
Would I?
希望如此
I hope so.
我能闭上双眼假装你是詹妮弗
I can close my eyes and pretend you're Jennifer.
我能闭上双眼假装
I can close my eyes and pretend
你是任何一个人
that you're literally anyone else.
别用那种愚蠢的口音 詹妮弗 我不喜欢
Stop using that stupid accent, Jennifer. I hate it.
我们俩这样不好
This is a really bad idea.
对 是你要这样的
Yeah, yours.
我们是要这么做吗
Are we doing this?
对 要吗
Yeah. Are we?
我要再来一杯玛格丽塔
I'm gonna need another margarita.
-好 -好
- Yeah. - Okay.
-好的 -好
- All right. - Okay.
好好好 那么我们
Okay, okay, okay. So...Um...We, uh,
我们真要这么做 对吗
We're actually gonna do this, right?
虽然有悖常理 但我们要这么做 对吗
Against our better judgment, we're gonna do this, right?
看来是的 没错
Looks like it, yeah. Yeah.
我先坦白 我去了做了大面♥积♥脱毛
Uh, full disclosure -- I've done a lot of manscaping.
其中一些长得很好
Some of it went really well.
很多长得惨不忍♥睹
A lot of it went horribly wrong.
我们能快点干正事吗
Can we just get this over with?
这是唯一的办法了 宝贝
It's the only way I know how, baby.
斯图 斯图
Stu, Stu --
-天哪 -天哪
- Oh, god. - Oh, my god!
-怎么了 -别看我 别看我
- What... - look away! Look away!
出去 出去
Just walk out. Just walk out of the door!
斯图 我打了八个电♥话♥给你都没接
Stu, you have eight missed calls from me.
詹妮弗来了
Jennifer is here.
她已经不吃醋了
She's over the whole jealousy thing,
现在她进来了
And now she's inside --
我的天
Oh, my god!
别看
Don't look at it!
-你这个下三滥的垃圾玩意 -别激动
- You worthless ginger crap sack! - Okay.
詹妮弗宝贝 不是你看到的这样
Jenny-bear, this is not what this looks like.
对
Oh, no!
对 这是愤恨性♥爱♥
No, it's hate-sex!
真的吗
Really?
对 我恨我自己
Yeah. I mean, I hate myself.
我恨我自己
Oh, I hate myself.
我就知道 自打第一眼看到你起
I knew it. I knew you were a boyfriend stealer
我就知道你会抢别人男友
from the moment I met you.
你忍♥不住看他粗大有力的大腿
You couldn't keep your eyes off his thick, powerful thighs
和他性感娇柔的双手
and his sexy little doll hands.
甜心宝贝
Aw, sugar butt.
别说了
No!
好了 好了 我觉得大家都需要
Okay, okay. I think everybody just needs
冷静下来听好
to calm down and listen.
我保证 我不是会抢别人男朋友的人
I assure you, I am no boyfriend thief.
对 她不是
No, she's not.
我这辈子还没偷过任何东西呢
I have never stolen anything in my entire life.
史黛菲·班尼特
Stephanie Bennett?
什么事
Yes?
门口停的是你的车吗
Is that your car out front?
是
Yes.
你因为在威瑟罗伊酒店偷了约瑟夫·米尔的钱
You're under arrest from stealing money from Joseph Mill
被捕了
at the Viceroy Hotel.
什么
What? Wh?
不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
这一切都能解释清楚
All of this can be explained.
她只是以为这钱是用来性♥交♥易的
She just thought that that was money in exchange for sex.
好了 我受够了
Okay, that's enough for me.
你这是什么烂理由
Worst thing you could have said.
你误会了
I can see how that could be misconstrued.
不 就是最烂的
No, the worst.
-女士 请跟我来 -好吧
- Ma'am, come with me, please. - Right.
-先生 我... 我是她的律师 抱歉 史黛菲
- Sir, I'm -- I'm her lawyer. - I'm sorry, Stephie.
-我是她的律师 她也是... -对不起
- I'm her lawyer. She's also... - I-I... I'm sorry
对不起 泽尔达
I... I'm sorry, Zelda.
对不起
I'm sorry!
鸡尾酒
我想我可以把
Well...I guess I can cross off
"被捕"从遗愿清单里划掉了
"Getting arrested" off the bucket list.
下一项 登上乞力马扎罗山[非洲最高的山]
Next up -- kiliman-bloody-jaro.
谢谢你 安德鲁
And thank you, Andrew,
让约瑟夫撤销指控
for getting Joseph to drop the charges.
小菲 抱歉让你趟这浑水
Steph, I'm so sorry for dragging you into this.
还有 斯图 很抱歉把你介绍给詹妮弗
And, Stu, I am so sorry for introducing you to Jennifer.
为什么抱歉 我们处得很好
Why? It was really great.
伙计们 我们只是想让你们和我们一样幸福
Guys, we just wanted you to be as happy as we are.
对
Yeah.
那就是说谁没有一段完美的恋爱
So anyone who's not in the perfect relationship
就是可怜虫咯
is just a pathetic loser.
不不不
No, no, no.
不不不 他不是这个意思
No, no, no. That's not what he --
-这只是陈述 不是个问题 -好吧
- That's a statement, not a question. - Okay.
我真心相信这是真的
I actually believe that's true.
你不必向詹妮弗道歉
You don't have to apologize for Jennifer.
我之前从没想确立关系
I was never into the relationships thing,
我觉得笨蛋才会想要确立关系
You know, I thought they were for chumps.
可遇到詹妮弗之后 我真是大开了眼界
But after Jennifer, it really opened my eyes.
我好心痛
And it hurts.
斯图 抱歉
Stu. I'm so sorry.
-兄弟 -不过我想念做♥爱♥
- Buddy... - I miss the sex, though.
就好像是掉进了一面镜子
It was like falling into a mirror.
是这样啊
There it goes.
什么意思
What does that mean?
对 我真的很喜欢约瑟夫
Yeah, and I really, really liked Joseph.
他也很喜欢你
He really liked you, too.
如果你想 我可以 你想让我美言几句吗
If you want, I can -- want me to put in a good word?
天哪 别 别这么做
Oh, god, no, don't. Don't do that.
反正也没用
It wouldn't work, anyway.
史黛菲
Stephie?
史黛菲 听着
Wait, Stephie. Hey, listen.
你并不是伊万·沃汉
You are not Ivan Vaughan.
我就是
Oh, yes, I am.
我注定在其他人的幸福生活中
I am destined to play a bit part
扮演着小角色
in someone else's amazing life.
恋爱手册（2014）
A to Z
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