恋爱手册（2014）

A to Z S01E12

Part 1 April 9, 2021, 4:41 p.m.

爸爸
Hey, dad.
你怎么知道是我
How'd you know it was me?
电♥话♥上有你号♥码
Your number was on my phone.
另外昨天
Plus, there was a minor
几百英里外发生了地震
earthquake yesterday hundreds of miles away.
你从床上被抛起来了吗
Were you thrown from bed?
没有
I was not.
你的房♥子受到什么损坏了吗
How's the structural damage on your house?
和以前一样
Same as it was before.
对了我喜欢你的格子花呢上衣
By the way, I love your plaid shirt,
但是如果你继续穿那么紧身的牛仔裤
but if you keep wearing jeans that tight,
我就永远做不了爷爷了
I'll never be a grandfather.
你怎么知道我穿什么
H-how do you know what I'm wearing?
记得我一直想要买♥♥一架无人机吗
Remember I was thinking about buying a drone?
我买♥♥了一架无人机
I bought a drone.
你从哪里操纵它的
W-where are you operating that from?
记得我之前想来看望你吗
Remember I was thinking about coming to visit?
我来看望你了
I came to visit!
-爸爸 -皮特老爹
- Dad! - Papa Pete!
斯图豆豆儿
Stoobie-doo!
斯图和自己父亲的关系并不好
Stu didn't have a great relationship with his own father,
所以他偷偷希望安德鲁的父亲是他的
so he secretly wished Andrew's father was his.
我真希望你是我父亲
I wish you really were my father.
也许没那么偷偷的
Maybe not so secretly.
爸爸很高兴见到你
Dad, it's -- it's so great to see you,
但是突然来这里是怎么回事
but what -- what's with the surprise visit?
只是在圣诞节看到你真好
Well, it was just so nice seeing you at Christmas,
我想管他呢
I figured, what the hell.
另外我终于能见到你的新女友了
Plus, I finally get to meet the new girlfriend.
是啊
Yeah.
实际上她出城了
Uh, I -- she is, uh, she's out of town, actually.
所以...
So...
-你想试试吗 -当然
- Want to try it? - Yeah.
安德鲁和泽尔达将恋爱5个月
Andrew and Zelda will date for five months,
6天6小时
six days, and six hours.
这部电视剧完整记录了
This television program is the comprehensive account
他们的恋爱点滴
of their relationship.
一字不落
From A to Z.
L代表喜欢程度
抱歉
Excuse me,
那是不是带GPS和高精度飞行的大疆精灵二代
is that a DJI phantom two with GPS and precision flight?
你是真的无人机迷
Are you really a drone aficionado
还是又一个无所不知的印度人
or just another Indian guy who knows a lot of stuff?
两者皆是先生我是迪内斯
Both, sir. Dinesh.
我是皮特·洛弗兰德安德鲁的爸爸
Yeah, I'm Pete Lofland, Andrew's dad.
至于你的问题这是...
And to answer your question, this is a...
好吧好吧好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
是的我说泽尔达出城了
Yes, I said Zelda was out of town,
但这次我需要你支持我
but I need you to back me up on this.
你为什么不介绍皮特和泽尔达认识
Why don't you want to introduce Pete to Zelda?
皮特棒极了
Pete's awesome.
我曾经梦想也许他能和我老妈睡
I used to dream that maybe he slept with my mom
这样就会真的变成我老爹
and he was my actual dad,
但是那永远不可能发生因为我愚蠢的老妈
but that could never happen because my stupid mom
永远都那么傻乎乎地忠贞
was always being so stupid faithful.
好吧斯图我想让他们认识
Okay, Stu, I-I do want them to meet.
只是你知道先等等
Just, you know, down the line.
他有本事吓走我所有的新女友
He has a knack for scaring off my new girlfriends.
我为你们做了面包
I made the bread of your people
安德鲁割过包皮你知道
Andrew's circumcised, you know.
你要什么时候给这手指戴上戒指安德鲁
When are you gonna put a ring on this one's finger, Andrew?
我真是迫不及待想要看到我第一个孙子
I can't wait to see my first grandchild
从她双腿间爬出来了
crown between her legs.
这不是批判是事实
It's not judging. It's just a fact.
如果你父母没结婚珍妮丝
If your parents weren't married, Janice,
那你就是私生女
that makes you a bastard.
那其实怪你
Well, that's kind of on you
和非婚生的女孩约会对吗
for dating girls born out of wedlock, right?
斯图我真的需要你帮我拜托
Stu, I need this. Please.
好吧
All right.
安德鲁上面那个办公室里的人是不是泽尔达
Andrew, isn't that Zelda up there in that office?
不她是...
Oh, no. She's, um --
她死了
she's dead.
斯图她没死
Stu. She is not dead.
来我们来拉近看看
Well, here, let's get a closer look.
无人机
Ooh, drone.
出城了啊
Out of town, huh?
戴恩我非常感谢法人请你
Dane, I am so thankful that corporate has asked you
在这里多留一阵
to stick around here for a little while longer.
你的学识经验和上身力量
Your knowledge, experience, and upper-body strength
唤醒了这办公室里
has awoken a fire in this office
沉睡已久的火焰
that had lain dormant for far too long.
谢谢莉迪亚
Thank you, Lydia.
帮助你完成一个项目获益良多
It's so rewarding helping you bring a project to...completion.
多重完成
Multiple completion.
我现在能走了吗
Can I go now?
当然
Of course.
中午前放到我们桌上
Just have it on our desk by noon.
-放什么 -走开丹尼
- Have what? - Beat it, Danny.
是迪内斯
It's Dinesh.
对了你提议
By the way, your memo
男厕所安装无水便池的主意真是太有才了
on installing waterless urinals in the men's room -- genius.
谢谢莉迪亚
Thank you, Lydia.
从我们合作开始
I've been in a creative-management zone
我就一直在创新管理
since we've started collaborating.
我也是
As have I.
实际上昨晚在我们垂直结合之后
In fact, last night, after we were vertically integrating,
我想出了这个
I came up with this.
"壁花公♥司♥会员若要取消会员必须
"Wallflower members can only cancel their membership
亲自来"
in person."
是不是特别棒
It's crackerjack, right?
我们的取消率会骤跌
Our cancellation rates will plummet!
但是我们的客服服务投诉不会暴增吗
But won't our customer-service complaints skyrocket?
但他们仍是我们的客户
But they'll still be our customers.
好极了
Great.
我要把这个立为企业标杆
I'll just run this up the corporate flagpole.
这是指我们今早
Is that a reference to the thing
在浴室做的那件事情吗
we were doing in the shower this morning?
不我只是需要总部的批准你知道规矩的
No, I just need approval from HQ. You know the protocol.
我以为我们已经过了这一步呢
Well, I thought we were past that,
所以我直接实施了
which is why I went ahead and implemented it.
你为什么那么做
Why on earth would you do that?
我刚刚告诉你原因了这是特别棒的主意
Well, I just told you why. It's a crackerjack idea.
等着瞧
You'll see.
没人会花时间来这里
No one will take the time to come in here.
不会有人
No one.
我想要取消我的订阅谢谢
I'd like to cancel my subscription, please.
什么
To what?
壁花的
To Wallflower.
新政策真是太简单了
The new policy is so easy.
否则我会一直
Otherwise, I would have kept
支付月费的
paying that monthly fee forever.
太好了
Super.
我能说
Can I just say,
终于见到你真是太好了洛弗兰德先生
it is so nice to finally meet you, Mr. Lofland.
不是我的荣幸泽尔达
No, the pleasure's mine, Zelda.
有没有人告诉你
And did anyone ever tell you
你的睫毛像拉美裔女人
you have the eyelashes of a Latina?
我去看看晚餐
I'm gonna go check on dinner.
你们应该聊聊
You guys should talk.
或者不用聊了